Tag: writing

family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · mind set · Overcoming · Uncategorized

The Queen of New Beginnings

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Hello Beautiful People! “Each new beginning asks the same question: who will you choose to become now?” — Maria Hagberg

As most of you know, I am an author. I write early reader chapter books for elementary students, I have written and am currently writing a novel, and I’m working on my first — and probably only — non-fiction book. I love writing my blog (non-fiction), so I guess technically I enjoy non-fiction the best… hmmm, food for thought for myself.

My actual point to this was to share the kinds of books I like, because as an author I actually spend a lot of time reading. I love books about second chances. I read a book a few weeks back called The Queen of New Beginnings. That sent me down a rabbit hole of second-chance books. I actually love when the second chances are about themselves — not about finding a new love or job, but when people find themselves.

One of my favorite “things” about people is when they know who they are. Like they went through something but came out not harder, but stronger. Most of the time not because they wanted to be, but because that’s what happened — they had no choice in the matter. I always love a new beginning, a new chapter in someone’s life. I like to think of life as chapters. I’m still working out if each year is a new chapter or if every day is. I just know that for me, I like to be the best version of me, and every day I try to be better than the day before.

I won’t say I related to the book The Queen of New Beginnings — some crazy things happened in that story — but I do relate to the title. I think that’s the beautiful part: we can always start over, as many times as we need to. Believe me, I am the Queen of new beginnings. Thankfully, I always find the good in my life, and I hope that no matter what chapter you are in, you too can Find The Good In Your Life.

family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming · Uncategorized

Lessons From A Broken Mug

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Good Morning Beautiful People

“It’s okay to break. What matters is what you do with the pieces.” — Maria Hagberg

I broke a mug this morning. To say I was upset is an understatement. It was one of my favorites. I have several mugs—somewhere around a hundred (we don’t judge here). Most of them are Disney-themed, as was this one. But this one also had plants on it and said, “I be-leaf in you.”

I love a good pun. And plants. This was a top-ten mug. Could I get a new one? Sure. But that’s not the point of this story.

As I stood there with ceramic scattered across the countertop, I heard Matt call out, “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I said.
He paused and replied, “But you’re sad.”

He was right. I was.

Then he said something that stopped me in my tracks: “It’s okay. What’s important is you’re okay.”

In that moment, I had flashes of all the times in my life when hearing those exact words would have saved me from years of fear and self-criticism. I remember hearing, “You’re so clumsy,” or “Why don’t you watch what you’re doing?” And I know, somewhere along the way, I probably said those same words to my kids before I realized—it’s okay. We all make mistakes.

Now, I would never get upset with my grandkids for spilling or breaking something. I’d smile, tell them it’s okay, and help them clean it up.

As I’ve entered my healing—my soft-girl era, if you will—I’ve learned a few things. I can’t live in the “I wish I would have” moments because they wreck me every time. You know the ones:

“I wish I would have spoken to my kids with more patience.” “I wish I would have been more present.”

I can’t change the past. But I can do better now—with my grandkids, with my family, and with myself.

It only took me 54 years to learn this: it’s okay to break. What matters is what you do with the pieces.

Have you ever seen a mosaic table? It’s made of hundreds of broken pieces—each one unique, each one essential. Together, they form something beautiful.

Maybe that’s the metaphor for my life. All the broken pieces I’ve gathered and put back together have helped me find the good in my life.

And I hope that as you clean up your own shattered pieces, you too can Find the Good in Your Life.

family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming · Uncategorized

Eggshells

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“The ground only feels fragile when you’re not standing in your truth.” ~ Maria Hagberg

Hello Beautiful People. Did I ever tell you I have a magical gift? I learned to read a room before I learned to read a book. When you have parental units that are walking time bombs you learn at an early age what not to say or do to set them off. Unfortunately this “gift” followed me into adulthood. My daughter got mad at me one day because I would, and still do, wait to share things until the “time is right.” I would try never to ruin my kids’ mornings before school, even if that meant I was the one making the sacrifice because I didn’t want their day to be bad. She said, “Why do you do that? If you have something to say, just say it.” If only it was that easy. You would think at 54 I would have let this go, but there are days I still feel the crunch of egg shells beneath my feet.

In my adult life this “gift” followed me into relationships. I had gone to therapy and at one time became very bold with my words, just saying whatever came to mind, not caring about the other person’s feelings, just wanting my truth to be heard. I was then told I was too harsh and I needed to really watch what I say, because once words are spoken they could be forgiven but never forgotten. This thought almost paralyzed me. I never wanted to hurt people, I just wanted to be heard. Back to therapy I went. Unfortunately not wanting to hurt others meant I wasn’t living my life. I hid my happiness because I didn’t want others to feel bad for not being as happy. I sometimes would let it slip how happy I was and someone would make the comment that, “no one is really that happy” or “no one’s marriage is really that good.” It was easier for me to hide my truth then to be authentic. I was once again feeling the crumble around me.

Wanting to find the happy medium of being able to speak my truth and live my life without worrying about hurting others, back to therapy I went. This time I felt like I had finally understood what my therapists were saying. Trying really hard to allow that frightened child, the young married girl, and the grown woman I had become to speak her truth and live her happy life, I was finally able to sweep up the egg shells from the floor. Unfortunately, I do still find remnants of those shells on the floor now and again as I wait for the “perfect” time to say something, but I no longer fear the bombs that were in my life, nor am I worried about showing the love that surrounds me. I hope if you are walking on egg shells that you too can sweep them away and learn to live out loud and always Find the Good In Your Life.

family · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming · Uncategorized

UNICORN

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Hello beautiful people! “Always be yourself, unless you can be a Unicorn. Then be a Unicorn.” ~Unknown

Have I ever told you I saw a real Unicorn once? I have loved Unicorns as long as I could remember. I remember reading about them and how magical they were. There was just something I found so fascinating about them, from their magic to being unique in their own way. For my granddaughters, their first favorite animals were also Unicorns… I had nothing to do with that. For my 50th birthday I had a Lisa Frank Unicorn birthday cake. Oh the choke hold she had on me, and still does.

It was the 80’s so don’t come for me, but The Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus was coming to town with a “REAL” Unicorn. I had to go! I remember every fiber in my body believed this was real. When I got there and saw what everyone else said was just a goat with a horn growing out of it’s head, it crushed me because I wanted to believe it was real. I choose to believe it was. (As an adult who has lost some of her whimsy I may have to concede to it being a goat.) My best friend had a Unicorn ring that she would let me wear whenever I went to her house and it made me feel so special. When I told her I was moving she gave me the ring so I could remember her. I have worn that ring for almost 40 years now. It is one of my favorite things. She remains my best friend to this day, and that ring remains magical.

So why do you think so many of us love Unicorns? Do you think it’s the fact that they represent all that’s good? Unicorns, rainbows and sparkle? Do they give us an out when others seem to be all alike but we feel like an outsider so we become an individual, a Unicorn? Playing make believe and knowing our Unicorn could save us because they were also strong. They could take on the biggest of giants with their horns. For me, I like to think of myself as a Unicorn. I still carry the magic/imagination, the strength, the individuality, and the joy that comes from believing. I hope you can find your inner Unicorn and everything that comes when you Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming · Uncategorized

Don’t Yuck My Yum!

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Hello beautiful people. “Do your thing. And don’t care if they like it.” — Tina Fey

Have you ever been sharing something with someone and they roll their eyes, or say “I don’t like that”? It’s not just when I’m sharing something that I don’t like, but when someone sees or hears about something someone else has and says, “Yuck, I don’t like that.” That’s ok Becky (made up name) it wasn’t for you. I’ve taught myself over the years, when someone asks me directly if I like something and I don’t, to usually say, “I like it for you, it’s not for me.” And now that I’m thinking about it, I could probably leave out the last part. Seriously, I never want to take away from someone else’s joy of something they like. I do not like candy (love chocolate) but you’ll never catch me yucking my daughter’s yum as she eats jelly beans or Sour Patch Kids.

In this age of keyboard warriors, everyone seems ready to share their opinion — whether you asked for it or not. But here’s the truth: you can hear something or read something and simply… not reply. I’ve caught myself wanting to chime in on things that were none of my business, ready to toss in my two cents. But really, why? If you like pickles and peanut butter, or if you’d rather hike the mountains than sit on the beach, what does that have to do with me? The same goes for parenting choices — co-sleeping, crib sleeping, or anything else. Unless it’s your child, maybe it’s not your say. Why do we feel so entitled to weigh in on other people’s lives?

I don’t know about you, but people seem to want to speak into my life often. I’ve learned not to let it get to me, and when it does, I ask myself two questions: Do they pay my bills? and Do they live in a way I’d want to model my own life after? If not, their opinion doesn’t deserve my energy. We should allow people to enjoy their yums, as long as it does no harm to them or anyone else. So tell me , what’s one of your yums, that thing you love even if others don’t? Life is too short to waste on yucking someone else’s yum. Celebrate your joys, honor theirs, and always, Find the Good in Your Life.

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Thoughts on a rainy day

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Hello Beautiful People! “When life gives you a rainy day, watch Harry Potter” ~ Wise People

I have so many things I always want to write and I have 20 blogs saved that will probably never see the light of day. Sometimes I just write to get out my feelings. I have one that was due to come out earlier in the day but cancelled the auto posting because I wasn’t sure if I was ready to share that story yet. So now I’m sitting in my bed with my laptop, gazing out my balcony window at the rain wondering what I can write about… I guess I’ll talk about writing.

I often get asked how I come up with my stories or blogs. If I tell you I honestly have no idea, you may not believe me, but it’s true. I have a new novel I’m working on, and it all started with one sentence I heard someone say. Literally that is how it works for me. I have been sitting in my favorite coffee shop (shout out to Daily Brew for being a safe haven for my creative mind) and I overhear a conversation, and the next thing I know I am just typing away at a thought or outlining a book. There are days I will go to Disneyland to just sit and people watch to get ideas. I love watching people’s mannerisms to create a character. I have a friend that, whenever you ask him a question, he will stroke his beard as he thinks through the question. I love asking him things, having real conversations, because I noticed how different topics will cause a different motion. I have a spy book I’m working on, and this is part of one of the people’s mannerisms. I have a group of friends I play poker with, and people watching comes in handy with them. Let’s just say I rarely lose. As I write my children’s books I really pay attention to how kids speak to make sure I am relatable to the age group. Before 2020 I was going into schools and speaking to kids about reading and the importance of it, and I always loved when I got to answer questions, because listening to them speak and how they would form their questions became a big part of how I write Luna and Sol. Now I have grandkids, so they are the voices I listen to.

Did I always know I wanted to be a writer? Hmmm… I knew I had stories in me, but because I was dyslexic and writing was hard for me I didn’t think I would ever live my Carrie Bradshaw dreams. When I watched Sex In The City I got excited about watching Carrie write. The thought of writing for a magazine was so amazing to me. She would turn this article in weekly and everyone would read her thoughts and get excited to hear what she had to say next. Who knew that 25 years later writing a blog would be the same as writing an article for a magazine. I also find it “funny” that I like to write my blog on my laptop and my books on my computer. I don’t know if that’s because I saw Carrie writing on her laptop and always thought I, too, would be a girl on the go with my laptop writing for the world. But just know, 9 times out of 10, I have left my office and come into my room to look out the patio door, or I am sitting in a coffee shop hoping to get inspired. I know some of you had questions about getting published and becoming a best seller. When I tell you being a 3-time best seller gives me imposter syndrome… And being published is the craziest feeling when you see your words in your hands. Also very humbling, because now you are out there for the world to criticize, and believe me they do. But if you too want to write, go for it. Do not worry about the nay sayers because they are just jealous that you Found The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · music · Overcoming

I Wrote This

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Hello Beautiful People! “The scariest moment is always just before we start” ~ Stephen King

‘I often get asked what it’s like being a writer. Honestly, I’m not sure how to answer that. I love writing a lot. I feel it’s something I’m good at. However, writing my first novel was so scary. We are getting ready to do some re-writes on it, some corrections that were missed in the first editing process. As I reread my book, I have thought, “This is really good. If I didn’t write this, I would want to read it.” Yes, by all means, let me toot my own horn. I think I will talk more about the writing process another day, but for today, here is a snippet of my book, Daydreams. I hope you enjoy it.

“Hi everyone. I am Sophia Angel-Day Love. At exactly 10:23 a.m. on May 25th five years ago my life changed forever. So, in the next 20 minutes I may break down crying. It was Memorial Day weekend and my husband Bryan had the weekend off. He was a firefighter. However, he was on call that weekend for our friend Greg, because his wife was due at any time. The family was all packed up and ready to head to the beach for the day when he got the call from Greg that his wife was going into labor. I understood that he had to go, but our girls were so disappointed. Our oldest, Layla, was five, about to turn six, and Lola was three. Layla threw such a big fit, and Lola just liked to copy her sister, so she did the same. Bryan sat them on the sofa and explained why he had to go and reminded them why what he did was so important. He reminded them how he was a helper and how being a helper was an important job. Bryan hugged them and kissed them both and said, ‘I love you, to heaven and back.’ That was a saying Bryan started with the girls and myself because we had to have the hard talks sometimes about death and what could happen. Layla had asked Bryan if he would still love her even if he was in heaven. He told her he would love her from heaven and he would feel her love from there too, so it became our thing, ‘I’ll love you to heaven and back.’ 

“The girls and I went to the beach while Bryan went to work. We called to tell him good night when we got home and he had said it was a pretty quiet night so far and he would be home in the morning. The next morning my sister-in-law, Mia, called and said she wanted to come get the girls for the day and she would be over around 8 to pick them up. I tried calling Bryan but I didn’t get an answer. I figured he must be on a call, no big deal. Mia came and got the girls and we made plans for us to come over that afternoon for a cookout once Bryan was home and rested. After they left, I puttered around the house keeping busy, waiting for Bryan. I went out to the rose garden that he had planted for me, sat on the butterfly bench he had just gotten me so I could sit there and enjoy the view. I loved it so much. He had planted what we called a butterfly garden around it. You know, all the flowers that butterflies enjoy. He said I reminded him of butterflies because I was always going from one thing to the next, always fluttering around. As I walked into the house I heard a knock at the door. My stomach turned into a knot. I didn’t know what was on the other side of the door, but I knew something was wrong. 

“As I answered the door I saw Jack, the Fire Chief, and several others from the department standing there. I remember shaking my head and asking, ‘Where is Bryan?’ As Jack got closer I heard him say, ‘Sophia, we are so sorry.’ I don’t remember this, but I was told by a few of the guys that I just started screaming, ‘NO!’ over and over, but in my head everything had gone numb and silent. I collapsed onto the floor crying and screaming. I felt like my whole world had come to an end in that moment. Every dream, every future plan, everything, died in that moment. I barely remember the next few days. I know I have amazing friends who took turns staying with me till I could function again.

“‘Function again.’ That’s a funny saying. You see, I wake up every day and go through motions, but I don’t know if I am functioning. I am told it’s ok to move on, that Bryan would want me to. I’m told it’s ok to be happy, but my happiness died with Bryan. I don’t know who this was supposed to help today, because I don’t feel helpful. I have a job that I enjoy, and two amazing girls and the best friends anyone could ask for, but yet, I am not happy. I keep all the sadness and anger inside. As people try to be helpful I stay polite, but inside I say things like, ‘Shut up, you have no idea. You tell me how it feels to relive your worst nightmare every night when you try to go to sleep.’ I have not slept one full night in 5 years. I wake crying almost every night if I do fall asleep. I spray his cologne on his pillow so I can smell him. I ask God ‘Why?’ all the time, and I still don’t have an answer. 

“Oh, you might wonder how this happened. There was a house fire, and the little boy who started the fire was scared so he hid. The rest of the family got out, and when they realized he was still in there Bryan went running in to find him. As Bryan found the little boy, Bryan got him out the window in time but the ceiling collapsed trapping Bryan. Everyone tried getting to Bryan but it was too late. I am not angry at Bryan or his brothers. I knew the dangers of the job and so did he. I’m angry that I have to go through life without the one person who swore he would always be there with me. The person who could calm my fears. The person who I dreamt with, made plans with. I am mad, because even though we talked about this being a possibility, he never told me how it would feel and how to continue breathing without him. I have to literally tell myself to breath sometimes. I am 36 years old and by now we were going to have made a difference in so many people’s lives. We had plans. But instead, I walk around in anger and pain trying my best to be a mom, friend, employee, daughter, and any other hat people expect me to wear. I get to wear all these hats except one… the wife hat. That hat is gone. I’m sorry. I feel like I’m just rambling now. I really don’t know why I was asked to share today. I hope this helped someone.” 

As Sophia looked into the faces of everyone sitting there she didn’t see a dry eye. A lady from the back of the room stood up. She was young looking. She wore her blond hair in two braids and was very pregnant….

I hope you enjoyed that and want to read more. You can find your copy here. You need to read to find out if Sophia learned to find the good in her life, but I hope you can always Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming

Worth the Struggle

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Hello Beautiful People! “Our struggles can be strengths.” ~ Jim Kwik

Growing up I definitely was not the smartest girl in school… probably even in the bottom. I was in speech class, was/am dyslexic, but they called it stupid or slow, couldn’t spell to save my life and would get punished for not doing well, all because I couldn’t comprehend what was being taught. I dropped out of high school once I was 18 because it was too much for me. I worked my butt off at any job I had, because once I understood the job I could work circles around people. But I had a passion for reading and writing, even though both of those things did not come easy for me.

When my kids were little I would tell them stories before bed. Rarely did I ever read to them, because unless I pre-read something, it’s hard for me. One day my son asked me what was the name of the story because he wanted to go to the library and get the book so he could read the story again. I told him it was a mommy story and that they weren’t in libraries. Fast forward many years later, I am working in corporate America. I had worked my way up the ladder because, once again, my work ethic will out work anyone if I want it bad enough. I was not happy because I was not living my purpose. What was my purpose? I still am not completely sure, but I did know it had to do with writing and speaking, so I did it. My family encouraged me and would always ask when was I going to write my books. Finally, I quit that job and wrote my first children’s book. It took me a moment because of the research that went into it. The writing was hard for me at time. Thankfully I have an amazing husband who said, “You write and I will help you with the grammar.” He still does that to this day with every blog, every book I have written, and sometimes before I post a long post. (Thanks Babe you’re the best!)

I think about that young girl who people doubted, and at times doubted herself. I never get upset with those people. Honestly, I’m not sure we knew what dyslexia was until after I was out of school. I feel bad for all the kids that were just called “lazy” but we actually loved things like English, but the thought of having to read out loud would send us into a complete panic attack. Now that I am a 3-time Best Selling Author and I speak on stages in front of thousands of people, I am thankful that I get to share my journey with so many and give them hope that they can turn their struggles into strengths, and I hope you too can Find The Good In Your Life.

family · gratitude · Inspirational · Life

Sunshiney People

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Hello Beautiful People! “Stay close to people who feel like sunshine.” Unknown

I have been very blessed to have amazing friends in my life. People who feel like sunshine; people who have loved me through some hard moments and celebrated my accomplishments. People who have only been there for a season and people who have stayed a lifetime. I take none of them for granted and I appreciate them all for who they are in my life. I even appreciate the “friendlies” as I like to call them. We aren’t really friends but we are more than acquaintances… we are friendly towards one another. We “run” in the same circle, we speak to one another when see each other, might even have a few things in common, but they aren’t the person you’re calling to go get a cup of coffee.

But let me tell you about my sunshine people. They are the people who will speak your name in rooms to build you up and will not allow slander to ever be spoken about you. They are the people that at the first mention of something you might be good at says, “Let me tell you about my friend. She is amazing and would be perfect for that.” One of my best friends got a call when I was going through a divorce, and the things that were being said to her she could not handle anymore. She stopped them and said, “I do not care if she is a crack whore on a corner, she’s my best friend and nothing else you say matters,” and then she hung up. She has had my back since we were 12 years old, so I expect nothing less.

I have another sunshine person who was sitting with me when I got a call that there was something wrong with my mammogram and I would need to come back in. Being a breast cancer survivor, I got scared. I found out later she was scared for me too, but in that moment that friend reached over, grabbed my hand and prayed with me. She never said any doubt out loud to me. Every day until I found out that it was just scarring, she prayed and lifted me up in prayer. I love her so much for that.

Then there are the sunshine people who you just sit and talk for hours with no agenda. You make time for one another whether it’s monthly or weekly, and sometimes yearly. You tell each other your hopes and dreams for the future and you are excited for one another. They are the low maintenance friends who you can’t wait to just laugh or cry with. They are the people who respond to your text a week later and you never get upset because you both know if it was important you would call, because getting a call from them makes you smile and you never send them to voicemail. They are that friend that you meet up for coffee early because you know you’ll be there all day, even though you just spoke a few days before.

I have heard you are who your friends are. I hope it’s true. I hope I am sunshine to others; the friend you call when you need prayer, the friend you feel safe with, the friend you can’t wait to have coffee with, the friend who you know will always have your back, who uplifts you when you are having a bad moment; the friend who will always help you Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · Overcoming · Uncategorized

Time Marches On…

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Hello Beautiful People! “Sometimes it’s the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination.” ~Drake

It’s funny how time goes on no matter what happens. Through a pandemic, through the loss of loved ones, through our happiest to darkest moments, time does not stand still. I, just like many of you, went through many things the past few years, and I grew and changed. I was not sure if I would ever write Find The Good In Your Life again, not because I did not have good in my life, but because my life and way of thinking and writing had changed. I am not the same entrepreneur out to change the world anymore, but just a person wanting to share her life with others through words of her life experiences. If I touch someone’s life through my writing here or with one of my books, I will have made a difference. Here, I guess I want to give a “blueprint” if you will, to help others through their life’s journey as I share my experiences and wisdom that others have given to me.

One of my favorite influencers always says, “Don’t stop until you’re insanley f*cking proud of yourself.” Thanks Gary V. Funny enough I have a Dove candy wrapper that I saved many years ago (pictured) that says “Don’t stop until you are proud” that I have pinned to my cork board that sits in front of me. I choose a new thing to do every year to challenge myself. I have written children’s books, a novel, went skydiving, trained, entered, and won a bikini contest at 52, and this year I am back in school to get a Bachelor’s degree. I don’t know if I do these things every year trying to find something that will make me proud of myself, or just to say I did it. People often say, “You must be so proud of yourself.” I think, “Am I?” I don’t know if I am or if I just expect it from myself. I am not sure what it will look like when I am or is this what I just do and when I’m a 100 I will look back and say, “I had a great life and did many things,” and I will recount the way I lived my life and be proud and close my eyes and pass away. Well, that took a turn I wasn’t expecting. As my therapist says any time I ramble, “You’re just working it out.” Glad I could share my rambling with you.

Well all that to say, time continues to march on and so do we. I am looking forward to sharing life with you and all the things that go with it. I’d like to think that I’ll write daily but that might be expecting too much from myself with the goals I have this year of writing a new Luna and Sol book almost monthly, writing a new novel, and graduating in May. However, I would just like you to know that we make time for the things that are important to us and we can always find the time. Plus, nothing makes me happier than talking to people and asking them if they too can Find The Good In Your Life.