Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming

SHOOB

Hello Beautiful People! Shoob – To turn back, but not all the way back to the starting point. To break down and build again.

If you read my other blog you know I am back in school to get my Bachelors of Science in Biblical Studies. This means I do a lot of Jesus time and Greek and Hebrew are being studied. If you only knew how I shake my fist in frustration every time I think I have a word down, but I don’t. Doing great on the Bible stuff, getting in the 90’s on those test. When it comes to the Greek and Hebrew words, I’m getting 70-something. As Ciara told me because I was frustrated, “C’s get degrees.” However, I digress. The other day while studying I came across this word Shoob and I loved it. I was studying about the Potter’s House in Jeremiah. I promise to not get preachy, but for me I got excited about this word, so I need to talk about it.

I have felt at times in my life that I am having to start over in life. I have felt so down on myself for a failed marriage, not completing school, jobs that ended, financial problems, the list could go on. Always feeling like I was having to start over, a two step forward one step back kind of feel. Then I came across this word I have read about the Potter’s House so many times over the years. But there is something that happens when you read it in the context in which it was meant, understanding what the words means (look at me learning things). I promise I am not going to get preachy, just go with me, because if this is for no one else but me, then fine, let me make sure I understand this so I never feel like I’m starting over again.

Jeremiah 18:3-4,So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.”

If you have ever worked with clay when it’s spoiled, marred if you will, (meaning spoiled, not perfect, could have been dried out, hard to work with) you would need to start over with fresh clay. BUT (you got to love a but in the Bible) in the Potter’s hand, he was able to reshape it. He was able to “Shoob,” break it down and build it again. What!? When you are broken down, felt like you were back at the beginning, just know, you didn’t go all the way back to the starting point (me getting excited). No, He just took you back to where He could start reshaping you. See, in order to reshape the marred clay, he had to pour water over to revive it. Those tears I’ve cried when I was feeling down (to me it was the water because when I cry I am finally surrendering… that’s a me thing), feeling like I was starting over, and over, and over again, I wasn’t. I was being reshaped. See, He never took me back to the starting point, for real ( I know where I started from). He just started me back to where I was moldable, pliable, teachable. He was/is reforming me into what He sees best. (I’ll just stop right there!) Thank you for allowing me to get this out for myself. I needed that word. If that was a word for you too, great. If not, that’s ok. But whatever you are going through, I hope you always Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Overcoming · Uncategorized

Are You Happy?

Good Morning Sunshines, it’s been a while . I have so much to catch you up on, but that won’t be today. Can you believe it’s 2020? I seriously had an OMG 😱 moment a few months ago when I realized that it was 2020 and how long ago 2000 was and what was I doing when we all thought the world would stop spinning that night. Any who, that’s not why I decided to blog today. I wanted to talk about happiness.

Are you happy? I am. But what is happiness? What makes you happy? This last 5 months I did a training with some people, and for everyone else there was a 4 week open invitation for everyone to watch on Find The Good In Your Life (Facebook and Insta). One of the things we focused on was Finding The Good In Your Life and finding happiness in all situations. Here are the top 5 questions my clients and people in general ask me about happiness. “Why is it so hard to be happy?” “What does happiness look like?” “Is joy and happiness the same thing?” “Is happiness different for everyone?” “Why are some people just always happy?”

Well, I’m happy to answer those for you ….

“Why is it so hard to be happy?” Most of the time it’s hard to be happy because we find ourselves either thinking about the past, wishing things could have been different or worrying about the the future. I have found when I live in the now I can find things to be thankful for, and when you are being thankful it’s hard to focus on the negative. (You will hear/read me saying this a lot.)

“What does happiness look like?” I truly believe it’s different for every person. Happiness does not mean all rainbows, unicorns and sunshine for everyone. For many people, happiness can just look and feel like contentment. What do I mean by contentment? It does not mean that you are not striving for more but that you are happy (content) at that moment.

“Is joy and happiness the same thing?” No. Joy is a peace that you have when you are good with you. Being able to accept yourself for who you are and where you are. It doesn’t mean you aren’t still trying to become a better version of you, it just means you have peace with where you are right now. Happiness is usually based on the situation, memory, “feeling” you have.

“Is happiness different for everyone?” Happiness is different for everyone based on life experience, and science also says some are born with more of the gene that causes happiness. Don’t use that as an excuse to why you’re not happy. They have found that even those who have less of this gene can still change their DNA in a way that they cannot tell you are lacking, but you must work on it. I do understand that there are people who have medical conditions that can cause depression that may need medication, but even those people can find happiness with work, maybe therapy or someone who has been studying happiness and the brain for years. (That’s why I am here. I have been doing this for years.)

“Why are some people just always happy?” Are you ready for the hard truth…? They choose to be. Yup, it all comes down to a choice . It doesn’t mean you won’t have bad days or things won’t go wrong, but when you decide you want to be happy and that you actually want to find joy and peace, you will work toward it like you never have before. You will learn what things bring you happiness. What you won’t settle for anymore. Maybe it means removing negative people and situations out of your life.

How are you feeling right now after reading that? I hope you feel hopeful. I want you to be happy, but more than anything I want you to have joy and to be able to Find The Good In Your Life in every situation. I’m here if you want/need to talk.

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · Uncategorized

“You can still smell the roses and be on a mission” ~ India Arie (Beautiful Day)

Hello Sunshines! Have you ever been so busy that you forget to have a life? I love the quote I used today from India because it’s a reminder that you can take a break and rest. I sometimes feel like people get so caught up in doing things that they never just sit and enjoy the moment. I am so guilty of this. My life was so full of stuff to do but I never felt like I was accomplishing anything, I was just repeating the same thing day after day. I was like a hamster on his wheel, going round and around. I’d get up go to work, come home, work some more, maybe watch tv, go to bed, repeat. I lived for the weekend, when I didn’t have to go into the office to work but instead could work from home, you know, and “spend time with the family.”

One day I realized this was happening and I decided I was done with that life. I didn’t get paid extra to work as hard as I was and I wasn’t going to move up any further in the company, I had hit my cap. I had to reevaluate what I was doing with my life. I had to take serious look at my life and what I wanted. I wanted to be a writer, I wanted to help people, and the job I was in was not getting me there. You know the story if you read my other blogs or follow me. I quit my job and wrote two best sellers. I just wrote book three of the series and am now working on a novel.

However, I found myself getting back in that rut even doing what I love. I love Find The Good In Your Life (Insta and FaceBook) doing videos and doing one on one coaching. I love writing. Seriously, I wish my brain would let me do more of it. But I found myself being so “busy” making sure I was being productive every day with every minute that I needed to stop for a moment, smell the roses and realize that this life is a journey, not the destination, and that I will get everything done that I’m supposed to get done, or it wasn’t meant to be. I had a talk with my hubby this morning about needing to take a step back from something I was planning on doing because I needed/wanted to focus on my novel more. It doesn’t mean the other thing won’t happen, it just means I will wait to accomplish that goal at a later date. I don’t know about you but I don’t want to be too busy that I forget to live. I want to Find The Good In My Life every day, not just after I hit the goal.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

Petrified In Fear

hands-in-chainsGood Morning Sunshines! “Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real.” ~ Unknown

Have you ever been petrified in fear? Have you ever felt like it didn’t matter what you did it was going to be wrong, so you decided doing nothing would be better? Have you ever woken up and known that you were failing everyone around you by not doing what you were called to do, but it was easier to do the safe thing, because failing again was something you didn’t want to risk? Have you ever thought, “No one will notice if I give up?” Have you ever thought, “It’s just not worth it?” I have! It was literally so bad I did nothing. When I say I did nothing, I mean I did nothing. I laid in bed all day being the most unproductive self I could be. It got to the point that I couldn’t even look myself in the mirror and ask, “What are you doing?” because I didn’t want to face the truth. I wanted to give up because I was scared.

The second day of “feeling” this way I knew I had to do something because this was not me. I got up and showed up, but didn’t post. I knew I had to go through the motions even if I didn’t “feel” like it. I did this for 8 days. “What the heck Maria!?!? Seriously, this is your soap box. You are everyone’s cheerleader for their dreams, you speak life into them when they have doubt and fear, do it for yourself.”  I had always told people to be careful of your “feelings” because some days you will “feel” love and another dislike, just remember why you started. Have you ever found it easier to root for someone else than yourself? Ya, me too. I knew this is not where I wanted to stay. I had to find my way out of this “feeling”.  But how?

I had to remind myself of my why. I went back and reread my personal journals of why I must not quit. I listened to more podcasts than ever before. I read more than I ever have before. I talked to a friend I trusted who I knew would understand but push me forward. I started speaking life back into myself and writing my goals back down. Going through the process I knew worked for me and had gotten me to where I was. I became thankful for where I was, but knew that is not where I wanted to stay. It’s ok if you fail. It means you’re doing something. I have to remind myself its a stepping stone to where I am going. So once again, I got up, showed up, and reminded myself to go Find The Good In My Life.

family · gratitude · Inspirational · Uncategorized

T.M.I. Friday – Just Be Here

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Good Morning Sunshines! “It is hard to love yourself if you never spend time with yourself. Alone time is necessary.” ~ Izey Victoria Odiase

My heart is so full with the love from the response I received for “No More Hurt”. The part that touched my heart the most was how I got to hear from all of you. I received so many comments and private messages. I loved talking with you. That is why I write and want to help people. It was an opportunity to hear about the things you are going through and what you would like me to talk about. I really would like this to be an open dialog. One of the things that a few people mentioned was they loved TMI Fridays because they felt like they got to know me a little bit more so here is todays TMI….

I told y’all that my hubby and I are on an East Coast tour. One of the things we are doing while we are away is going to a conference. Well, from all the traveling we have been doing I became so swollen. I retain water like a camel. So today I stayed at our Air BnB while he went to the confrence and took a water pill. This was amazing. It’s not my house so I didn’t have to clean. We did the laundry yesterday. So the only thing I could do was relax. I drank tea, I read, I listened to podcasts, I wrote and I watched 3 romantic comedies all while laying/sitting in bed. Seriously, awesome. I loved doing this so much but felt like I should be doing something else.

Seriously, why is it so hard to enjoy “Me Time”? These are all my favorite things to do (just missing working out and baths). I made myself be in the moment. Every time I would start to think about two weeks from now when I’m back home and what needs to be done, I would stop myself and say “Be here now.” Learning to be in the moment is still something I struggle with but I am learning. Yes, we need to plan for tomorrow, but not worry about it. I decided that I needed some more practice so I’m taking another “Me day”, this time I’ll hit the gym and get some one-on-one time with the sunshine. What is your favorite way to take a “Me Day”? Whatever it is, I hope it helps you Find The Good In Your Life.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

TMI Friday – Grandma – International Women’s Day

grandma

Good Morning Sunshines! “She made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible. She walked with the Universe on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of wings.”  ―Ariana Dancu

It’s TMI Friday! Yesterday was International Women’s Day so I wanted to talk about the most amazing woman I’ve ever known, my grandma. My grandma was/is my hero. She taught me so much. Grandma was a godly woman who always made time for the word. She started and ended each day in prayer. She never raised her voice. If she got mad she would start talking really low so you had to concentrate on what she was saying. It was worse than someone yelling.  I could never get anything past her. If I called “just to say hi”, she always knew exactly what was going on before I even told her. My grandma was a farmer’s wife, she had six kids, and many grandkids. Grandma never had favorites. I would joke and tell her “it’s ok to say I’m your favorite.” She would let me know her favorite was whoever needed her most at that time. She always made you feel like you were the most important person when she talked to you. She really listened.

My grandma had gotten a job out of the house for a few years and worked in an arcade. Yes, a video game arcade! If you would have met her at first you would have thought this was strange. However, after 5 minutes of watching her around all the young people who came through you would know she was right where she was supposed to be. They loved her! Grandma would call kids out on their baggy pants, wild looks, bad attitudes, and always get to the root of the issues. I remember one day going to work with her and a group of kids came in being loud and disrespectful. Grandma walked up to them and told them to watch their language, and pull up their pants because she had no desire to see their behinds. One of the kids got mouthy and grandma started talking real low. I’m not sure what she said, but the next thing I know, their pants are pulled up and they are saying “Yes Mama.” She walked back up to her seat, grabbed some quarters, gave them each a few, and went and played Lady Bug, her favorite game. Everyone loved Grandma.

Grandma passed away a few years ago on, February 14, 2011. This seemed so fitting for her. I was so sad and just wanted to lay in bed all day and cry. However, I could hear my grandma saying “How long are you going to cry?’ (Read my post,  Finding the Good, to understand that a little better) I cried for a while and then knew it was going to be ok. For me, knowing she was spending Valentines with her first love was so fitting. I miss her every day. When my time comes I hope I am half as loved and respected as she was. Grandma was such an amazing example of love, never judging. She met you where you were at. I am so thankful for her and the amazing woman she was. I hope you have an amazing woman in your life who can help you Find The Good.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

TMI Friday-Birthday

IMG_0480Good Morning Sunshines! While I was on my hiatus of writing and planning my daughter’s wedding, I received a few DM’s (direct messages) from random people letting me know they missed me writing and really liked my TMI Fridays. Thank you to those who reached out to check on me and letting me know you enjoy my almost daily post.

Happy TMI Friday! Today’s post is all about why I love my birthday. March 18 is my birthday and this year I will be 47. I am very ok with my age and love to celebrate. Think about it, what is the alternative? If you don’t have a birthday you are no longer here.  I have always loved my birthday and other people’s birthdays. I love to celebrate people. For me, birthdays mean breakfast in bed, gifts, and being loved on by your friends and family. That happens for anyone in my family and close friends, not just me. My hubby knows I love my birthday and has let me turn it into a birthday month. However, I have tried to do something different this year and that’s celebrate every day.

I really want to celebrate life and not take advantage of it. Every day so far this year I have done something small just to celebrate me/life. I found that the days were running together, then the weeks, months, and even years. I needed to slow things down. A lot of the times my moment of just me is sitting outside with the dogs, feeling the sun and listening to music that makes me feel happy to be alive. The other day I listened to a whole album. I have no idea the last time I did that. For me, celebrating me/life isn’t about a party, it’s about being thankful that I am still here and enjoying every moment of it. Feeling the aches and pains of my muscles from my workout makes me happy. Things that use to bother me, now make me happy. Getting a phone call from a family member or friend makes me smile. I used to wish people would just text, but slowing down to talk to someone is so much better. One day we wont be able to talk anymore and I never want to miss that chance. Starting today, I hope you can start celebrating you/life daily and Find The Good In It.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Mask

IMG_0464Good Morning Sunshines! “How long will it take before people stop being polite and start getting real?” – Real World

What kind of mask do you wear? We all have them; sometimes we have several, depending on who we are with. For years I wore a mask of a happy marriage. We would fight, a lot of the time it was physical. So, when I told people I was getting a divorce, no one understood. I was lying to people for years to protect myself and him. I wore a mask as a teen to hide myself from almost everyone. My mom had walked out on me when I was 15 because she needed to get help for her drug addiction, leaving me to live on my own. The only person who knew was my boyfriend and eventually his mom. It wasn’t till I was 17, almost 18, that the state found out and sent me to go live with my dad. It’s crazy the life we can live behind these masks.

As I was talking to a group of people the other day about the masks we wear, someone said something that struck a nerve with me. “What am I doing that people aren’t comfortable enough to take down their mask?” I really try not to wear a mask anymore and be transparent with people. I want people to know who I am. I also want to be able to pour into people and love on them so they feel comfortable taking down their mask. I challenge you to look at your mask and the people you surround yourself with and see who and where you can take down your mask around. Find people who will except you and help you Find The Good In Your Life.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Who Are You?

986471BF-BB1D-430F-BAA3-B1F96073FA84Good Morning Sunshines! I’m back! My daughter is married! The wedding was amazing and I have recovered. I’m looking forward to talking with all of you again.

We are all created to be individuals. So why do we compare ourselves to others? How boring would the world be if we all looked and acted the same? In my 20’s and early 30’s I really did compare myself a lot to my friends, the women I’d pass on the street, and even people I saw in the movies. I was never satisfied with my clothing size, the “things” I could do (because I wanted to be gifted or talented like others) even my personality. I wished I was different. I have a loud laugh and I’m very animated. I tried not to overdo it around most people, worried they won’t accept me for who I really am.

I’m not sure when the mindset change was, but I do remember reading…..

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” ~ Dr. Seuss

Such wise words! I was about 35 when I decided I would live my life out loud. I have a lot to say. I really have gone through a lot and I believe our tests are our testimonies, so I decided I would start liking those things I wanted to change. I started caring less and less about other people’s opinion about what I was doing in my life. I remember the first time I put down a book I had started reading and said to my self, “I am not enjoying this, I’m not going to read it.” That was huge for me. I have walked out of movies, left restaurants and even stopped hanging around people who were no longer bringing happiness to my life. I no longer had the need for everyone’s approval because I now had my own. I know for some this can be hard in a world of “likes” and “friends”. My hope for you today is that you will, Find The Good In You.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

T.M.I.Friday

diary-968603_960_720Good Morning Sunshines! “When you start to do the things that you truly love, it wouldn’t matter whether it is Monday or Friday; you would be so excited to wake up each morning to work on your passions.” ― Edmond Mbiaka

It’s Friday!!! The day where I just let you into too much information about my life. This will probably read more like a diary entry than my normal positive blogs, but here you go….

We have made it through another week and through a month of 2018. January is gone and February is here. Our daughter’s wedding is in 15 days. I haven’t been posting every day because the wedding has taken over. Not in a bad way, but it has defiantly helped me step up my gym time. I also bought a dress that was a half size too small because the size up was too big.

So, let me tell you about this week. We have finalized so much stuff this week for the wedding, we started two Bible studies at our home, been trying to help my mom with stuff in Puerto Rico, trying to finish writing my book, starting a new website, on top of trying to do our “normal” everyday things. I never feel like I really do a lot till I speak to other people. It’s then that people will say, “Wow, you are busy.” To me that’s normal. Today I am getting my hair cut and colored. If you know me I like “fun” colors. With my daughter’s wedding coming up I went “normal” but she has decided she wanted a fun color because it’s more me. I’m excited to have “me hair” for the wedding too. Speaking of the wedding, our son and daughter-in-law will be here in 13 days. That means our amazing granddaughter will be here. My hubby and I are so excited to have her here and love on her.

Well, it’s time to get up and get this day started. Sorry it’s not my normal get up and slay today post but I hope whatever you do today, you will Find The Good In Your Life.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Mondays!

mondays!

Good Morning Sunshines! “Mondays are tough for those people who don’t know how to spend them cheerfully. Get up and have fun today!” ~ unanimous

Have you ever woken up grumpy and not known why and said, “No one better mess with me today.”? I think we have all had those days. I know Mondays were the worst days for my employees. I’ve had a case of the Mondays before myself. It would usually start on Sunday night. I would start thinking about the week ahead and everything I needed to get done. It was only 3 pm on Sunday but I was already in the next week and no longer enjoying my weekend, my family time. Then come Monday I was moody and did not want to be there. UGH!!! Something needed to change.

I had read a  book where the person said to challenge yourself to not have a bad day. Keep telling yourself it’s not a bad day, and to be positive. This took some training but I really did learn how to do this. I would start to get in a “Monday Funk” and I would have to stop myself and think of positive things. I would literally make myself say three positive things right there and then. When you are thinking of the blessings in your life it’s hard to think about the negative.

These days, Mondays are my favorite day of the week. I try to have it as a day I look forward to by meeting a girlfriend for coffee, going to the gym, and prepping for the rest of the week. I very rarely have bad days anymore. I will stop and realize I am not having a bad day, I am having a bad moment. That moment in my day will not be my full day, it is just something that’s happening right now that I will need to move past. Don’t let the bad moments dictate your day. Find The Good In Your Day.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Banner Blindness

IMG_0241Hello Sunshines! “It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” ~Henry David Thoreau

How many of us ignore the ads that are on our social media these days? Crazy how we talk about something or look up something, but then we quickly start to ignore them again. This is banner blindness. But what about in our everyday life? Do we start to go blind too? Maybe not blind, but just don’t notice the change that’s happening. A friend gets a haircut, you don’t notice. The gas station you always go to changes names but you don’t notice. We get so caught up in our everyday life that we don’t stop and look around us and notice the changes that are happening in the world around us.

I have rose bushes outside my front door. Every day when I leave the house I will literally stop and smell the roses. I do that because when I was working 12 hour plus days I got so caught up in my work I forgot there was a world going on outside. One day I was going into work late, when I walked outside and noticed these beautiful roses. These rose bushes had been there as long as we had lived in the house, but I didn’t notice them because I would leave so early and come home late, my sights focused on my next task. But now when I leave my house and smell these roses, it reminds me to stop and notice the world around me. I don’t want to be blind to the world around me anymore. I want to notice not just the simple beautiful roses, but the people in need on the corner. I want to help others Find The Good In Their Life.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

It’s Not In The Budget

372D684A-5852-460C-B974-815D7AD432DB-40788-00000A7ED3A9B2F0Good Afternoon Sunshines! “The budget is not just a collection of numbers, but an expression of our values and aspirations.” ~ Jacob Lew

Have you ever said “It’s not in my budget,” or “I don’t have time for that?” I found out it’s never in my budget or I don’t have time for it if it’s not a priority to me. Our daughter’s wedding is coming up and the money we could have used a million other ways is being used to pay for a wedding because it is what is important to us. I pay for a gym membership because my health is important to me. I spend time reading books and listening to podcasts every day because growing and learning is important to me. However, I have had people tell me, “You should really watch this new show. It’s amazing!” The next time I see them they would ask, “What did you think?” To be honest, I haven’t had the time to watch it. Why didn’t I have I have the time? It’s because it wasn’t important to me. Not that my friend wasn’t important, it was that my time was important and I didn’t want to spend it on something that I was not sure I would enjoy.

Our time and resource are precious, and we need to be careful how we spend them. You will very rarely ever catch me doing something I really just don’t want to do; and if I am, it’s because the person I am with means more to me than that thing I am doing. When my kids were teenagers I stopped saying “It’s not in our budget,” and started telling them the truth, “That is not a priority.” As as example, they asked “Why don’t we have a tv and cable like my friends?” This truly was not, and still is not, a priority for us. Explaining to a teenager (and some adults) why we don’t have these things may be annoying, but I believe in being transparent about my life, so we would explain, “We don’t have time to sit in front of the tv, so why would we spend money on something we don’t use?” When I have asked my boss for a raise for an employee and he would say, “It’s not in the budget”, what I really wish he would have said was, “It’s not a priority,” because I would see money being spent in other places that to me was not a priority. I say ALL that to say this…. before you say it’s not in the budget or you don’t have time, be honest with yourself and others. Is this just not a priority? When you’re making the decision to spend your time or resources on something, make sure you ask yourself is it’s helping you Find The Good In Your Life.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Making Memories

IMG_0080Good Morning Sunshines! “Children have neither past nor future; they enjoy the present, which very few of us do.” ~ Jean de la Bruyere

This year for Christmas my daughter decided to turn my family movies into DVD from VHS (best gift this year). We were watching a home movie of when they were little and we were visiting my mom and family in Puerto Rico. As I was watching this video, besides thinking my kids were the cutest, I couldn’t stop thinking I was a jerk. My son kept asking if he could look through the video camera and I kept telling him no because I didn’t want it to break. It really wouldn’t have hurt anything if I allowed him to look through it, but I didn’t want to risk it. Then I started thinking about how, as my kids were growing up, I was always worried about keeping a clean house and being worried about what others would say if they stopped by. I remember my kids asking me to play with them but I didn’t have the time because I always had something to do. If you’re a parent you can probably look back and remember these moments as well. I know I will never get those moments back, but I can learn from them.

Thankfully I am a grandparent now, also a godmother, and aunt. I almost get a do-over because I realized the blessing is in the journey. Being worried about a clean house and other people’s opinions aren’t what matter, but rather making memories. When a friend calls I answer because, most likely, I’m going to laugh with that person on the other end. I’m no longer worried about what others will say if they come over and see the lived-in house I have, but more worried about the memories I will make with people and Finding The Good In Life.

family · Inspirational · music · Uncategorized

Me, Myself and I

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Good Morning Sunshines! “Music was my refuge. I would crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.” ~ Maya Angelou

Have you ever played a song on repeat because it was speaking to you like nothing and nobody could. I have had a few moments like that, but the one I remember most that changed me was Friday night at home by myself while going through a divorce. My kids were with their dad that weekend. I had some co-workers who throughout the year would challenge me to go out to lunch or dinner by myself, go shopping by myself, and I had accomplished these things. But this Friday night I was having a “get real” with myself moment, letting go of some hurt. The radio was on and a song came on that made me stop and just listen, “Private Party” by India Arie. After the song went off I YouTubed it and played it over and over. I was learning how to love me. I danced around the house listening to this song. I really looked in the mirror and saw me again. I had lost me. I became who everyone else wanted me to be. Yes, I was a positive person, but I didn’t know who else I was. If you have ever seen Runaway Bride you’ll understand this next question I asked myself, “How do you like your eggs? Over medium.” I started asking myself questions I would ask someone while trying to get to know them. I needed to get to know me again. While listening to this song on repeat, dancing around the house, laughing, crying, I realized I am going to be ok. I had just gone through one of the hardest years of my life but everything was working out. I realized I loved me, and more importantly I liked me.

There are days I will play that song and just look in the mirror at all of me and do a check in. We will call our moms, grandparents, kids and friends to check on them, but when is the last time you checked in on you? Seriously, look at yourself and remind yourself who you are. This isn’t just for women, but men too. We get so lost in the everyday and thinking about everything we have to do for everyone else that we forget to stop and remember me, myself and I and Find The Good In Our Life.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Finding Balance

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Good Morning Sunshines! “Never get so busy making a living, that you forget to make a life.” ~ Dolly Parton

A few years ago I had two strokes due to stress. I was so focused on my job and didn’t understand balance that I worked myself almost to death. I had a co-worker who, when she would travel to different offices, she would enjoy it by going out and having dinner, met the people in the area, made friends and still got her work done. On the other hand, I would be in the office for 12 hours a day, eat at my desk, and then go back to the hotel and work some more. I felt guilty if I enjoyed myself too much when traveling for work. I was there to work. This was my chance to get ahead and get extra done without being interrupted. I wished I could be like my co-worker, but I had a job to do and wasn’t there for fun.

This was not healthy. I burnt myself out. I took a break from work for a while and came back ready to have balance. I would fly out on Monday, back on Friday, making myself go out to eat at least once while I was traveling. Still not able to find the balance I needed because I wasn’t putting my health first and at least working out in the morning, I gained 20 pounds. My only exercise was walking through the airport. Even with me trying to find the balance by going out to eat once became a task and not something I was enjoying. I loved my job and traveling was fun. I enjoyed the people I worked with. Even on the weeks I wasn’t traveling I was still in the office for 12 hours and working when I got home. I had another health scare in March when I had my yearly. We thought the breast cancer was back. Nothing like a health scare to make you reevaluate what is most important to you.

As much as I loved my job, I love my family more, and I knew something had to change. I gave my notice to my job and decided it was time to find balance. As I was searching for balance I had to decide what was most important. For me it was my health, my family, my church, the community, and helping others. I started working out almost every day and my hubby tries to go with me when he can. We will sit and eat breakfast together and talk in the morning. I volunteer full-time at my church, and I get to spend time with people by going to lunch and being there for people who need me or just need someone.  I lead a bible study and we go into the community and give back, feeding the homeless or thanking the firefighters by bringing them goodies. I decided that writing was one way (there are other ways too) I would help others and hope they would learn from my past challenges and be able to Find The Good In Their Life.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Happy Birthday!

IMG_0047Good Morning Sunshines! A daughter is just a little girl who grows up to be your best friend.

Today is my daughter’s birthday! (I told her I would write about her today) I call her “My Pretty”. She is truly a blessing in my life. I think about the day she was born and remember how she looked like a little doll. She was so perfect. I would dress her up in little pink dresses. She would love when I would sing to her, “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey. You’ll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.” As she grew up she realized I really couldn’t sing. The teenage years weren’t too bad except for age 14, when I loved her but didn’t like her (I’ll tell y’all about that another day). She tested me in so many different ways. Looking back and hearing other people’s stories, she wasn’t really that bad. Both of my children told me everything… sometimes too much. However, I always knew where they were. The lines of communication have always been open and they were always allowed to express their feelings. Ciara got married in August to a nice young man, Deon. It was a very small wedding. Just us, his parents and our pastors. We are having a big ceremony in February because I told her she might regret not having the big wedding if she didn’t. Planning has been a lot of work, but she is worth it. We had her bridal shower this past weekend and then she went with friends to Vegas to the bachelorette party. I love hearing the stories of her and her friends. Oh, to be that young again.  There are days I get sad because both of my kids are married and I feel like they don’t need me any more. But there is nothing like your daughter asking you, “Can we go get lunch and go shopping?” I love the relationship we have now. I don’t have to fuss at her any more. She has become my friend. We sit and talk about so many things. It’s hard to believe that little angel I held in my arms grew up to be my best friend. She truly is A Good In My Life.

Inspirational · Uncategorized

Friday Fun Day

Good Morning Sunshines! Fairytailes can come true. They can happen to you…..

I was asked by a few readers to share a little bit more about me, so I thought that Fridays would be that day that I share a fun, personal story about me or my family.

I wanted to tell you one of my favorite stories. My son and his wife just celebrated their 3rd wedding anniversary. I want to share how they met. On the first day of kindergarten my son, who was 5 years old at the time, walked into his classroom and went to his cubby to put away his things when the little girl next to him said, “Hi, my name is Gabrielle, but you can call me Gabby.” He said, “My name is Caleb. Call me Caleb.” She asked him to be friends and they walked away together. I was in awe and said, “That was my son.” The lady next to me said, “That was my daughter.” That lady and I became friends, and we would do everything together with our kids. School had started in August and in October Caleb and I went on a mommy and son date. We were at dinner and he asked me, “How do you know when you found your rib?” I was a little confused, but he explained, “Like Adam and Eve, she was his rib.” I let him know he would date lots of people and one day he would find her when he was all grown up. He said, “No, I think I already found her. It’s Gabby, and I want to take her on a date.” I spoke to her parents and they agreed we could take them “on a date.” We went to the Rugrats movie. Caleb and Gabby were inseparable until her parents became traveling missionaries. Gabby’s mom and I stayed in touch and always tried to be there for each other’s families when there were big events, anniversaries, birthdays, graduations, and weddings. Gabby’s sister was getting married and we all couldn’t go because we had just moved across the country, so we asked Caleb to go. Caleb and Gabby started talking and realized that they were both looking for the same things in life. They had graduated from high school and gone to college and trying to find their way in life. They decided to start dating in September. A few months later they had gone to a friend’s wedding, and when he returned home he let us know he was going to ask Gabby to marry him when she came out for Christmas. On Christmas morning we got to witness these two, who knew at 5 years old they would grow up and get married, get engaged. A few days later when we took Gabby to the airport she just couldn’t leave. She said something at that moment that I have always loved. She said, “I have loved him my whole life, and when you know what you have wanted your whole life is about to come true, you want it to start right away.”

Caleb and Gabby have been married for three years and blessed us with a granddaughter this year. I know this will be very few people’s stories in life, and most people will look for that person for a long time. However, no matter if it’s a person or a dream you’ve been waiting for, it’s time for it to start. We had planned the wedding for 6 months out, but Gabby wanted her dream to start now, so in five days we planned a wedding and they started their lives together. Today is that day that you say, “I am done waiting. It’s time for my dream to start right now!” Start your dream. Find The Good In Your Life.

Inspirational · Uncategorized

Letting Go

BC12CF28-D50A-4B10-B257-CCC41B166BDD-8482-0000022D0640346EI had a little challenge getting the post out this morning due to a sinus issue and a Benadryl…..But, it’s never too late to have a good day.

Good Morning Sunshines! “Why should you live in the past when the present already has everything that you need to start a new beginning?” ~ Edmond Mbiaka

Growing up in the 70’s and 80’s is much different than it is now. I remember the night a door-to-door salesman knocked on our door and told us about cassette tapes. He came in and my mom made coffee and got out a snack and we all sat in the living room playing with this new thing. He showed us how we could record and play it back. We talked into it and played it back. Hearing our own voices being played back was very strange. We bought a tape player and a six-pack of cassette tapes. I remember my step-brothers playing tricks on each other with it, whispering things into the recorder and hiding it under beds or in closets. In the 80’s my friends and I would sit and wait for that new song to come out so we could record it and make the perfect mixed tape. Who didn’t love getting a mixed tape? These days my kids make playlists and don’t have to hope the DJ doesn’t talk through the first part of the song.

There are so many memories that shape us into who we are today, good or bad. Sometimes we hold onto these things so much it will paralyze us in our present. It won’t allow us to move forward into what we are meant to be doing. I know it can be hard to let go of the past. Whether it’s living in the “glory days” of our youth or the pain that haunts our dreams/nightmares. There are days where I have to remind myself that I am not that little girl who was abandoned and not everyone will leave me. That I am loved. Yes, even I have insecurities, but I look at them differently now. I was once told, “You can never have a better past, but you can make a better future.” That is what I did with all the pain and hurt of the past. I decided to Find The Good In My Life. What do you need to let go of so you can have the future you deserve?

Inspirational · Uncategorized

Where Did The Time Go

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Good Morning Sunshines! “Know the true value of time; snatch, seize and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination: never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.” ~ Philip Stanhope 4th Earl of Chesterfield

We all get the same amount of time each day, how we spend it is different. There are 24 hours in a day, 1,440 minutes in a day, and 86,400 seconds in that day. I have waisted a lot of these seconds, minutes, and hours not doing things I said I would. I have not gone and visited loved ones and/or called thinking I would still have tomorrow. But tomorrow didn’t come. I didn’t work out because I thought tomorrow will be a better day, but tomorrow was busier than the day before. Somehow, slowly, day after day turned into a week, month and then years. Sometimes I look in the mirror and see where time has gone. My hair is greying, and I have little lines around my eyes. But I never really notice it till I see my mom. She lives in Puerto Rico and it’s been 2 years since I last saw her. Yesterday she was finally able to send me a picture and I noticed how much older she looked from the last time I saw her. She’s been through a lot in her life, but the last few months after hurricane Maria has really put a lot on her. I cried seeing her. She is 4 feet 8 inches and 90 pounds. She looks tiny and frail, but she is a tough cookie. But as I looked at the picture I thought about how over the last several months, as Puerto Rico has been going through the aftermath of Hurricane Maria, our lives kept going.

I love quality time with my family and friends. I love just sitting and talking, not looking at our phones, but rather engaging in conversation. I have a friend I meet with on Mondays for a few hours and time always seems to go so fast. There never seems to be enough when we want it most, but seems to go slow when we are waiting for something to happen. I look at time a little differently these days. I am semi-retired and I get to do most things on my time. But I found that I don’t spend it in front of the tv anymore like I used to when I got off work. (Also it broke and we never got a new one.) I spend it doing the things I wish I could have before. I also realized I could have done those things before, but I just didn’t make them a priority. I am making my life and my time a priority now because I know I can never get it back. I don’t want you to look back like I did and wonder where the time has gone. Make those calls to your bestie, go visit grandma, date your significant other and Find The Good in every second of every day.

 

Inspirational · Uncategorized

No Rainbows Without Rain

IMG_4095Good Morning Sunshines! “Everybody wants happiness. Nobody wants pain. But you can’t have a rainbow without the rain.” I read this once and remember it every now and again when it’s raining, like today. I think back on my life and some of the most painful things I ever went through and how, afterward, I was able to appreciate life just a little more. We rarely ever think about what positive will come from an event when we are going through something like a cancer or the loss of a loved one.

I am a breast cancer survivor and so thankful every day. I wasn’t always like that. I remember the day my thinking shifted. I was 29 about to turn 30 in a few days when I was told that I would have surgery a few weeks later. I called my best friends and they came and rallied around me. Saying all the things they are supposed to say, “You’ll be ok”, “We are here for you”, “We are praying for you”, “We love you.” I was so glad they were there. For my 30th birthday we got a hotel room at the beach (my happy place) and spent the weekend together talking about all the shenanigans we got into as teenagers and looking at old pictures and reading some of the notes we had that we passed to each other in the hall ways. The morning of my 30th I woke up early and one of my besties and I slipped out of the room to go watch the sun rise. We sat on the bench holding hands not saying a word. I remember praying and just wanting everything to be ok, when I felt a peace come over me that I will never be able to explain. It was at that moment I knew I must speak life into myself. No more negative “What If” stuff but “I will be ok”. I remembered looking at my friend and telling her, “Everything really will be ok.” She agreed with me but I don’t know that she fully understood what I meant at that moment. As the months followed, if anyone would say anything negative around me, I would shut them down, and that’s when she found out exactly what I meant. I am about to go on 16 years cancer free in a few months and that moment of rain changed my life. I still had bad moments, but how I chose to handle them were all different from the past. Even the darkest day I would try my best to find good. I want to ask you, if you are going through some rain right now, try and Find The Good In Your Life.

Inspirational · Uncategorized

It’s Ok To Fail

29D5AE28-5086-4D2B-B3D9-9BFE2B908452-19288-000004F87E8EAFFDGood Morning Sunshines! “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”~ Henry Ford. “You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your time, or any of your space.” ~ Johnny Cash. “I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.” ~ Michael Jordan. “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” ~ Thomas Edison. These are some of my favorite quotes about failing.

We all fail at something in life. For some, like me, it’s been more than a few. As my granddaughter was learning to walk, we were all cheering her on as she learned to stand, then take the first step, then another and another till she was cruising around the room. But what if she decided it was too hard and when she fell she didn’t get back up to try again? What if we did that? Their would be grown folk crawling around the world instead of walking because we gave up. How many things in life are you still crawling around because you are afraid to try walking again? That dream you put down because it seemed too big. The goals you set in 2017 that didn’t happen but you know are still calling your name. For my granddaughter she had people cheering her on, even when she fell down. Do you have people ready to cheer you on even when you fall? In 2018, find the people who are going to cheer you on and help you Find The Good In Your Life.

Inspirational · Uncategorized

The Hard Sell

IMG_4069Good Morning Sunshines! A positive mind finds opportunity in everything, while a negative mind finds fault in everything. Do you have those people in your life who like to poke holes in your excitement? They find fault and tell you why something won’t work when you are really excited about something? These people, the “Dream Stealers”, make me sad. Mostly because they once had a dream and they allowed someone to steal their dream. Most of the time I stay away from these people. However, when I need them most in my life is when I need to sell something. What do I mean by that? If I have a new business idea or just a pitch I need to make and I need to make sure I can sell this idea to the bank, a corporation, or just pitching a new idea to my hubby, I call on these people. I have my whole idea laid out including the comebacks I think they may come with. I am ready for them to find fault so that I can make my pitch to people who will hopefully be excited about my next idea. Sometimes we need the hard sell.

While I am one to tell you to guard yourself from negative people and “Dream Stealers”, you can always Find The Good, even in these types of people.

Inspirational · Uncategorized

The Flooded Kitchen

FullSizeRenderGood Morning Sunshines! It’s Saturday! I was lazy this morning and stayed in bed watching the sunrise above the mountains not wanting to get up, but thinking about my “To Do” list. Next week I am throwing my daughter a bridal shower, and in a few weeks she will be getting married. It’s funny how happy occasions can cause stress. I’ve always enjoyed throwing parties and having people over for dinner but it used to stress me out. I had to take a step back and think about what is causing the stress? Is it not having everything planned out? The people who didn’t RSVP? Will I have enough food? Then I realized it was me, I was stressing me out because I wanted everything perfect. LOL!!!! It’ll never happen. Seriously, every year I throw a big Christmas party and right before people are due to arrive something happens. One year my kitchen flooded and we had just finished cleaning up the floor and throwing the towels in the washing machine when the first guest arrived. We laughed, opened the door and went on with the party. No one had any idea what had happened. We ended up sharing later with some that stayed late and they said they would have never known, and if it was them, they would have put a sign on the front door saying “Party Canceled”.

So I decided that I will enjoy planning, and for the most part I have. I have my moments of “What If’s?” We can always plan, just like in everyday life we make plans, but we need to learn to be flexible when things happen and make changes. I planned on being at the gym this morning before the sun was up but decided to be flexible and watch the sunrise and enjoy being able to take things slow today. That extra bed time will definitely help me Find The Good In My Life today.

Inspirational · Uncategorized

Successful Day, Successful Life

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Good Morning Sunshines! “Instead of trying to live a successful life, aim to live a successful day.” – Jessica O Matthews. WOW! I heard her say this on a podcast and it stopped me in my tracks. That is so true. Yes, of course we want to have a successful life, but if we focused on making each day what it could be we wouldn’t have to worry so much about the end result… it would work itself out.

My grandparents were farmers and toward the end of my grandpa’s life I asked him if he would do anything different. He said that every day he did his job and he did it well. At night he made peace with the man upstairs, just in case he didn’t wake back up. He went to bed knowing he did all he could have done for that day. He gave every day everything he had.

That’s what I want to do. I want to make sure every day is a successful day so I can have a successful life. We don’t have to be millionaires or Mother Teresa to make a difference. We can change things in our every day life. Find The Good In Your Life one day at a time.

Inspirational · Uncategorized

Influencing The Why

IMG_4019Good Morning! Growing up I remember my mom and dad would tell me to watch out for who I was hanging out with. Onlookers would assume I was like them even if I wasn’t. I was lucky to make amazing friends at 12 and keep them for over 30 years. However, as I had kids, I would tell them the same thing. It wasn’t until I was an adult and going into business that I understood why hanging around the right people mattered. Though I still have these life long friends, I got married, had kids before they did, and moved away. My circle of influence changed as my career and goals changed. Just a few months ago my family and I were sitting at a table with people I never thought I would be in the same room with. My son-in-law tweeted that evening that his life was so weird from where he thought he would be. If he only knew I was feeling the same way. The conversations for these multi millionaires wasn’t just about cars and houses it was about “The Why”. Why they do what they do and who they were looking to help in the new year and how they could help others do the same. My dreams and goals were expanded that night. As I sat at the table I realized that I would never have had this conversation with my best friends. Not because we didn’t want to help others, but because our lives had gone in different directions and these goals were not theirs. My husband stretches me every day with his vision and what he/we will do next. One of my favorite quotes is by Mark Twain, “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that,but the really great make you feel that you too can become great. When you are seeking to bring big plans to fruition it is important with whom you regularly associate. Hang out with friends who are like-minded and who are also designing purpose filled lives. Similarly be that kind of friend for your friends. ”

I have decided that in 2018 I want to be that friend to others. I want to help them/you achieve their/your dreams and visions. I want to talk about your why, because without a why the results don’t last. I’m excited to hear from you so we can Find The Good In Your Life.

Inspirational · Uncategorized

Why Wait?

new-years-day-2660925_960_720Good Morning Sunshine! Today is January 3, 2018. How are you doing with all those goals you set for yourself? Did you miss the gym already and say, “Never mind”? Did you eat something you said you weren’t going to have? Did you not get up and read or write like you said you would? Guess what! It’s ok! Today will be that day that you do that thing you said you would. I don’t understand why we continue to beat ourselves up when we are given a new opportunity every moment of the day. Right here, right now, you can decide that things are going to be different. You will pack your gym clothes so you can go right after work. You will pack your lunch so you can eat healthy, and save money, bonus! You will bring that book and read during your break. Today is the day you stand up for yourself and no longer allow others to make you feel less than, because you are amazing. You don’t need a date or time to make a change. You just say “Right here, right now, things are going to be different.” Just like that, they can be. Don’t listen to those who tell you that you aren’t going to change. Those who would say, “That’s just who you are.” No one knows you like you. I believe in you.

In August, 2017 I had just gotten out of the hospital for some health issues and decided it was time for a change. I said, “Today is the day!” I did not wait until January to start going to the gym, or eating healthier. I drew that line and made that choice. I found the good out of that bad situation. We can decide to Find The Good In Our Lives today!

Inspirational

No Email… More Opportunity

FullSizeRenderI once read this story about a guy who was down to his last $6 dollars who had applied for a job as a stock boy. They offered him the job and told him they would email him the rest of the application. He let them know he did not have an email. They then informed him he was not eligible for the job. With the last six dollars he had, he went and bought some produce and turned around and sold it. He ended up doubling his money! Every day he did this, eventually becoming able to get a produce stand. This produce stand turned into a small store and eventually into a larger store. One day he called his insurance company looking for life insurance. They told him they would email over the information. He let them know he did not have an email. They said to him, “Do you know how much bigger you could be with an email? Do you know what you could be?” He laughed and said, “Yes, a stock boy.”
This gentlemen took what he had and bettered his circumstance. Where you are may not be where you want to be right now, but you know that 2018 is going to be different. What do you have that you can use to better your circumstance? How can you find the good in your life?