Tag: truth

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming

I Said F*@# It! But Like, The Real Word.

findthegoodinyourlifeLeave a comment

img_4601

Hello Sunshines! “Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out?” – Ian Wallace

 

Have you ever felt like you had to hide who you are? I have, and because of it I dimmed my own light. I swore years ago I would not allow others to make me feel less than, but somewhere along the way I did. I felt like I had to dim my light as to not take away from some others or to upset others. When you walk into a new space and there is already a “flow” going, you try to slip into others’ flow so you don’t disrupt things. I’m a bit of a “boulder,” not a pebble, but because I didn’t want to change things I shrank myself. Do you know how much you take away from a boulder when you become a pebble? Too much! As a matter of fact, you may not even recognize yourself anymore by doing so. Another thing I did by shrinking myself was not share my joy because I was worried about hurting others’ feelings. Let me explain them both.

Let me start with what I mean by hiding my joy. I have told you I was married before. Well, we still have mutual “friends,” and any time I said or did anything it would get back to my ex. This became hard on me, so I almost felt like I had to live my life in secret. I also never wanted to cause my ex any more stress or (not sure of the best word here) anything bad, but it seemed that the memories of me hurt him so I dimmed my light/happiness and things I wanted to share because of it. Why? Because I don’t like hurting people (a.k.a people pleaser). I did this with friends who had bad marriages. I wouldn’t talk about how awesome and amazing my marriage is because I didn’t want to make them feel bad. But inside all I wanted to do was share with everyone that I had an amazing life, great husband, amazing kids, and I am happy. But people would make comments like “no one is really that happy, that’s just your instagram life, why do you always brag?” Seriously, I am that happy. We are that much in love. And my kids really are that awesome and they are our best friends now and I’m proud of that…ok I digress….

So, becoming a pebble when you are a boulder. I am thankful I have been able to work in Corporate America. I was also one of the only women sitting at a table full of men. When it came to the pissing contest, I had to “sit down” (pun intended). It did not matter that I came in with more experience than most people at the table or room, it was going to be their way because “this is the way it has always been done.” When sharing new ideas of how to change things or make them more efficient you are told you are confrontational because you give push back. My favorite is “you are so passionate, but can you bring it down some.” And even better, being told you are “too corporate” in every day life when you try to bring order. So I gave up, shrank myself, sit in quietness because I get tired of trying until I no longer have any passion because I have become a grain of sand or my light is about to go out. So what do you do….What did I do?

I said F*@# it! No seriously I did. I think I said the real word as a matter of fact. I let the things I was once passionate about go because I wasn’t able to be me. I have always known you can be a leader without having the title of a leader. You can influence people more by just being you. I tried so hard to fit in because I didn’t see other people like me, until I did. I asked them, “How do you not dull your shine?” They let me know it’s because they get around others who are like-minded. They don’t always have the same vision, but they cheer them on none the less. YES! “Where do I get some of these people?” I thought. They let me know they would show themselves. Boy did they! There were people I thought for sure would be in my corner rooting me on but they were like ghost. I have barely heard “boo” from them and I see them weekly. Then there were people I hadn’t talked to in years who were cheering for me harder than my own family. Seriously, my heart couldn’t handle the love. Slowly, I started to see the old me again. I had to let go of some past hurts and disappointments before I fully saw who I am and what I should be doing. (Yes, I’m about to plug my stuff right here with no apologies). I finished that book, and book two is almost done. I decided it was time that I didn’t hide the fact that I have been so blessed and started a Vlog with my husband. We are far from perfect but we have a pretty incredible marriage and how we got here I feel like a lot of people could learn from it. Also, I’m happy. Why should I hide that? I’m sorry (not sorry) that my happiness makes you uncomfortable. I don’t feel I should have to apologize for it. I know what you are thinking, “This has been you dulled?” YES! And if you have dulled your light, I’m here to help you like I was helped. I found it (again) and it’s time you also Find The Good In Your Life! Shine on!

family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

Red Sparkly Shoes

findthegoodinyourlife1 Comment

IMG_3375-1Good Morning Sunshines! “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” Mark Twain

I have these beautiful butterfly plates that I love to use but my husband only wants me to use on “special occasions.” This is where we differ. When my daughter was little she had these red sparkly shoes that she loved to wear. She had family members that when she went with them would ask that I not allow her to wear those shoes because they did not match what she was wearing. Trust me, this was hard for me because I was a parent that always had to make sure my kids were clean, clothes ironed, and hair done before they left the house. My kids had to be the “put together” kids. However, when it came to these red shoes I always made an exception. These shoes brought her so much joy. I would ask her, “Why do you ‘need’ to wear those shoes, when you have so many other shoes?” Her answer was always the same, “They are special shoes, they make me feel so pretty.” How was I going to argue with that. Explaining to a three year old that you are pretty no matter what you wear just wasn’t cutting it. (A little side note, my nickname for my daughter is also Pretty… she is My Pretty.)

I had an Aunt Marie. One summer I was sent to go stay there after my Uncle Al had passed away. I always thought she was odd with the way she did certain things, until I got older. Aunt Marie had this beautiful china we would eat on, and we used linen napkins. She had her friends come over to play cards and they were always dressed up. We would go to the store dressed in a nice dress. I remember sitting in the living room reading a book and hearing her friends talk about how nice it was to get dressed up when they would come over because it wasn’t something people did anymore. I asked my Aunt why she enjoyed getting dressed up. She said every day was special and she didn’t want to wait for a special occasion to get dressed up or to eat on her china when she could do it every day. I asked her then how will you know when it’s a really special occasion. She just smiled and said, “Don’t worry about that, people will tell you.” I never really understood that until lately.

We all have those friends that do something and we’ll say, “They are so extra.” I am sure people say that about me often, but that is ok. See, I want to be the person who uses her china (if I had any) for every day plates, or wear my sparkly shoes because they make me feel pretty. (I do have some but mine are pink) I want to be the person who makes you stop and think, like my Aunt Marie did for me. I have said this a 100 times and so has so many other people in your lives, “Tomorrow is not promised.” I do not live my life in a fear of “what if I die tomorrow,” but in the place of “I did everything I could today.” I enjoyed today. Today I lived my best life. I may have to work, maybe even at a job I don’t really like, but before work, after work, on my lunch break, I did something that bettered my today. I am pursuing the life I want. So, I will eat toast off of my butterfly plates. I will take a bath almost every night and use my Lush bath bombs, and if I have a not so good day, I may even use a whole bath bomb and bubbles and dip down to my nose as the bubbles consume me like I would when I was a kid. I want to be “extra.” I want to live my extra best life every day. I also want you to live your extra best life. Today is the day you Find The Good In Your Life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming

This Is Not A Dress Rehearsal

findthegoodinyourlifeLeave a comment

steve jobs

Good Morning Sunshines! “Know the true value of time; snatch, seize, and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination: never put off till tomorrow what you can do today. ” – Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

We have all said it, “I’ll do it tomorrow.” Somehow tomorrow never comes. I’ve told you about my best friends growing up. There were 5 of us, until there wasn’t. Mel was coming home from a Halloween party when a drunk driver hit her and took her life away too early… she was only 18. She had her whole life ahead of her and it was taken. She didn’t get the chance to do the things we all get to do and take for granted, including me. I don’t tell you that to be a downer, I tell you that because I want you to realize we are not promised tomorrow. There are no do-overs. There are things we can’t get back. We can’t get back time or words. Be careful with them both.

I have told y’all before I listen to a lot of podcasts and try to read a lot, so there are two things that Steve Jobs has said that rings over and over in my head. The first, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” And the second, “Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.”

I am not telling you to go to work next week and put in your notice. However, I will tell you to figure out what that passion is and start doing it. It may be part time for now until you can make it your full time thing. It may never become a full time, pay the bills thing you get to do, but how much happier are you that you get to do something that brings you joy. Most people will come home, eat, and then sit in front of the tv. That is probably not bringing you the joy you are looking for. If you are one of the few who actually get paid to do what you love, congratulations, that’s awesome. But if you aren’t, then I want you to be honest with yourself. What are you waiting for? Buy the camera and take the pictures. Take the art classes. Try out for the play. Sing in your church choir. Write the book. Bake the cookies/cupcakes. Take a dance class. Start the business. We don’t get a do-over. This life is not a dress rehearsal. We get one chance to do it right. I know I felt like I had to put my dreams on hold while my kids were growing up. I wish someone had told me it’s ok to not put your dreams on hold. I think my kids would have had a better childhood if they had a parent who was living her best life. They would have seen a joy in me because I had an outlet instead of a parent who was stressed because I felt the need to live up to other peoples’ standards. I am thankful that I stopped waiting. Now it’s your turn. Go for it! You can do anything you want! Live your best life and Find The Good In Your Life.

 

family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · over coming · Uncategorized

I Did Something Scary

findthegoodinyourlifeLeave a comment

IMG_2835Good Morning Sunshines! “When is the last time you did something that scared you, but in a good way. Scared you like butterflies in your stomach, kind of want to throw up a little bit, I will stretch myself and rise to the occasion, kind of scary?!” ~Janelle Espling

I’ve just done something that scares me. Scares me in a good way, but it still scares me. Let me tell you why. When I was 12 years old I had a best friend who I would pass notes back and forth with in the halls at school. Sometimes she would return my notes to me with red ink on them to correct my spelling. She did this thinking it was being helpful and I shrugged it off. I had no idea how much this affected me until years later.

I have always wanted to write. I love to write, share stories, help others grow, improve their lives, and make people happy. However, because of what happened when I was 12, it kept stopping me. I would write and put things away. I would get excited but never wanted to share. Every time I failed to hit my goal of doing something it didn’t surprise me. I would get knocked down and wonder how I got back up. Well this last time when I fell, I landed on my back and when I did, I saw the way up, and there was a hand reaching down to pull me up.

There is a saying, “A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you forget the words.” When I married my hubby, he was my best friend first. He knew my dreams and he would remind me all the time. Finally, as I laid on my back looking up, feeling defeated, my Hubby reached his hand down and lifted me up. He told me to write and he would read it all and check my spelling, grammar, punctuations, etc. So, I did it. It took me several months (ok, maybe a year or so) but I finally wrote my first of many children’s books. So, if you’re feeling like you got knocked down, I am reaching down to you and ready to help pull you up and help you. What is it you have been wanting to do but put away? Let’s talk about it. I want to help you Find The Good In Your Life.

 

 

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Healthy Eating · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

September Is The New January

findthegoodinyourlife2 Comments

NPP Delta II LaunchHello Sunshines! “Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.” Meister Eckhart

Happy New Year!!! I know you’re thinking I’ve lost my mind. It’s been 9 months since you made your 2018 New Years resolution….How’s it going? I know I fell off track some. I said I would write daily and post weekly. Well, y’all know that didn’t happen. I was going to start Vlogging… ummm, I’m scared of the camera. I wanted to work out at least 5 times a week and lose 20 pounds. LOL, now I only need to lose 25 pounds. I wanted to finish my book by May… well, I didn’t finish it till July.

What were your goals in January? How did you get off track? Was it the holidays, spring break, summer, vacations, the kids? This is why I said September is the new January. The kids are all back in school tomorrow. The next big holiday is 2 1/2 months away. Think of all the things you can do if you truly focus for the next 2 months. You’ll also be ahead of all those people who don’t start till January. Why do we wait to start? I know so many people feel like Monday is the best time to start because it’s the start to a new week. However, I’m going to challenge you to just start or pick back up where you left off. Don’t wait till next Monday, start tomorrow. Heck, start today! Whatever the goal is that you had in mind for this year it can still be accomplished, this year.

Tonight I want you to write down your to do list for tomorrow. Make sure to include those things you wanted for yourself. You may have to get up earlier. I promise you if you get up before everyone else to do what you want to do, it will set the mood in a positive way for you. Tomorrow morning when your alarm goes off, do not hit the snooze. I want you to count backwards… 5,4,3,2,1 and then get up like a rocket ship (listen to Mel Robbins- Outsmart Your Brain to fully understand why this works) You have a 5 second window to make decisions to change your life. Tomorrow morning will you decide today is the day or will you continue to let your dreams not come to life in 2018?

September is my January! I am writing again. My first children’s book is done. The second will be complete by the end of the year and I have other things in the works too. What is it that you said you were going to do but got sidetracked? Really, I want to know! That business you wanted to start, DO IT! I’m waiting to hear how you decided that this 4th quarter was going to be the best part of your year. I believe in you and I believe that this September you will Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

Adjusting To The Dark

findthegoodinyourlifeLeave a comment

dark

Good Morning Sunshines! “Just like our eyes, our hearts have a way of adjusting to the dark.” – Adam Stanley

It’s been a few weeks since I last wrote but I have been thinking about this for a while. I was telling my hubby one night as I was walking upstairs in the dark that I realized I closed my eyes until I got to the light switch in our room. I asked him if he did the same. He said no, that he can see in the dark. You can see in the dark? Then I started leaving my eyes open in the dark and my eyes would adjust after a few minutes. I knew this was a thing, but all of a sudden I had a revelation to other things in life.

Being in the dark and letting our eyes adjust is a metaphor for so many things. I was having coffee one morning with a young lady who said, “When you’ve been in the dark for so long, your eyes start to adjust.” I almost fell out of my seat. She had no idea I had been thinking about this blog, not even sure she reads my blogs. But here it was again, our eyes adjusting to the dark. I realized it was “US” lying to ourselves. It could be the smallest thing but we soon adjust. My morning routine got thrown out the window the last few weeks while I planned an event. I would still read my bible and pray but it was kind of rushed. I even missed a few days. I didn’t work out, I didn’t write, and it was becoming ok because I was doing “something important.” The truth is, I was adjusting. I had lied to myself saying I will get back my “normal” when the crazy is over, where in reality I should have kept my “normal” and adjusted everything else to go with my lifestyle. However, my eyes were adjusting to the dark, my new “normal,” and I didn’t even notice til now. How did I notice I was living in the dark and had just adjusted my eyes?

On the morning of the event I knew it was going to be a crazy day so I grabbed my journal, and as I read my Bible that morning I went to write down what I was reading and feeling and saw it had been 3 weeks that I hadn’t journaled. WHAT!?!? How did that happen? I knew right then I needed to throw on the light switch and get back to what I knew to be true and what my “normal” was. I still had crazy going on for a few more days and because I had let myself adjust to the dark, it was taking me a minute to adjust to the light. Think about it; when you have been in a movie and walk outside, your eyes had gotten so used to the dark, you throw your hand up to protect your eyes, you squint, you have to get used to what was your norm all over again. So this week, little by little, I have been readjusting to the light and getting back to my norm.

Have you started to accept things in your life as “normal” because you let your eyes adjust to the dark? It could be as simple as mine, or it could be like my past of an abusive marriage where I thought “normal” was the words that were spoken to me, or the addiction of my mother. Those things were my “normal” until someone showed me that I had been living in the dark and had adjusted my eyes to see what I wanted in the dark. I hope today you can readjust your eyes and start seeing in the light again and Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

Where Did You Go?

findthegoodinyourlifeLeave a comment

img_3385Good Morning Sunshines! “Do not allow negative people to turn you into one of them” ~ Anonymous

Have you ever woken up one morning and wondered what happened to you? How did I get here? I just had that morning. I woke up wondering how I allowed someone to speak into my life so much that they made me negative. Let me stop right there. They didn’t make me negative, how I responded to them made me negative. They drive me crazy but I still put myself in a position to allow them to speak into me in a way that is bothersome. I’ve never had this challenge before. I have always been able to remove negative out of my life. This is the first time I’m choosing to stay for the sake of the bigger picture, but now I have to figure out how to deal with what is happening and how I will respond. So I go to what I teach other people.

Use the grocery store method. When you go to the grocery store you only take what you need. You never need everything in the store, so leave those things there. I’m sure there is some positive I can walk away with, so that’s what I’ll do. Remember, everyone is in different places in their walks of life. Just because they aren’t where you are doesn’t mean they aren’t growing. View this as an opportunity for you to grow also. You may be stretched out of your comfort zone right now, and that’s ok. What can you learn while you are going through this? Do not complain to others! Trust me, I know this one is hard. If you have one person you counsel with or a spouse you can talk to, talk to them. However, the last thing you want to do is be known as the person who is always complaining. Especially if you know this someone (boss, co-worker, friend, family member) is bothering everyone else too, it can be hard not to entertain the venting conversations with others. However, if things get too bad and it starts to affect your health and mental well being, it may be time to break ties, find a new job, and/or cut people off.

So, I’m walking away with this today. I will not allow anyone to cause me to lose me. I am a positive, uplifting and encouraging person. That’s what I love to do. And who I love to be. I want to be that person that people enjoy to be around because I uplift their day. I never want anyone to run away from me because I am negative. As I continue to read, listen to podcast and learn from others who have walked where I am going, I am thankful for those who continue to help me Find The Good In My Life.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

It’s Not Too Late

findthegoodinyourlife2 Comments

1830a7b7c05f28ca47c862773e2e3b54

Good Morning Sunshines! “It’s never too late to be what you might have been.” George Elliot

Imagine you are 100 years old and you are laying in bed taking your last breaths and standing around your bed was not your family and friends but instead, it was all of your hopes, dreams, visions and talents you were given but never used. The books you never wrote because you were too worried about what others would think. The business you didn’t start because no one else could understand your vision, so they talked you out of your dream. The trip you never took because it was “never the right time.” The family you never had because you needed everything to be “just right” before you could do that. How would you feel knowing these things were going to die with you? I know this might sound a bit morbid, but the truth is that no one can do what you can do.

I lived in limbo for years of the things I wanted to do for myself. I would use my kids as an excuse. I would tell myself, “When they are grown up I will do the things I want to do.” Well they grew up, got married, and I still waited. What was I was waiting for? A few years ago when I had my strokes and was working way too much I knew, this is not the life I want to be living. What was going to change and how was I going to do it? I quit my job and started writing my first of many children’s books, but just couldn’t finish them. I have been doing other things too. Started a new company with my hubby, but he does most of the work for that. I help when I can. Very active at church. I spend most of my time there. However, knowing what my “calling” is and not fulfilling it was really getting to me.

So, what was I going to do? I had to think what made me come alive? What did I want to be when I grew up? I know this might sound funny to some, but I loved the show Sex and the City. To me it was a great show about friendships, and anyone who knows me knows I love, love and friendship. I’ll watch anything about friendships (including cartoons). So, while watching this show I would love watching Sarah Jessica Parker’s character Carrie Bradshaw. She would write an article for a newspaper and every time she did it made something in me stir. I knew I wanted/needed to write. Yes, every time I write my blog I think of Carrie Bradshaw. My articles will probably never be like hers, but I love the writing. I also knew I needed to write the children’s books because my kids would tell me when they were little they couldn’t find my stories in the library and they needed to know what happened next. So, I did it. I started writing my blog, channeling my inner Carrie Bradshaw. But, the most exciting thing, I finished my first book. Doing some rewrites right now, but it’s done. The moral to this story, it’s never too late, unless you are laying on your death-bed, to follow your dreams and live out the life you always believed you should have. What makes you come alive? What do you want to be when you grow up? Now it’s your turn to start living for you and Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Healthy Eating · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

Discipline

findthegoodinyourlifeLeave a comment

bruce lee

Good Morning Sunshines! “Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments.” ~Jim Rohn

I have been writing a piece called being a crockpot in a microwave world. I hated it! I deleted it! I also cleared out the other 12 that I haven’t published because they just weren’t good enough. Have you ever just been working on something and said “NO!” I have in the past, been working on a project for months and trashed it and started over when It was due in the next few days. Seriously I have no idea where this is going today…

Discipline, I am not a fan of the definition that is given in the dictionary, they all sound so harsh (the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience😧). I think of discipline as practicing a specific desired behavior.

I had to have mind shift the last few days. I had a “belly ache” last weekend. You may think that’s not a big deal. Well, when you have the GI challenges like I do, you know, this is a big deal. I did it to myself. I won’t tell you how many doughnuts I ate, but it was just wrong. After being hospitalized for this almost a year ago you would think I had learned. But apparently I needed one more reminder before getting it. I would try to start eating healthy, but then I would say “I lack discipline” to give up the sugar, cake, donuts, sweets in general. I was listening to a podcast and, what was it on, but discipline. As I was listening to this I realized, I didn’t lack discipline. I am disciplined. I get up every morning at about the same time, with no alarm clock needed, I read, I journal, I have a To Do List, I know my Why, I workout several times a week, I get my work done in a timely manner. So what the heck!?!? I have literally spoken to groups of people about being disciplined but never when it came to this… eating healthy.

So, what happened you asked? I had a wake-up call. After listening to the podcast on discipline, I listened to Warren Buffet in one of his podcasts. He was asking the kids, “If I told you I would buy you any car you wanted and when you left today it would be outside waiting on you when you left, you would ask me what the catch is. The catch is, it’s the only car you get for the rest of your life. How would you take care of it?” The kids were saying they would take great care of it, getting regular oil changes, putting the best gas in it, and take the best care of it. Then Warren Buffet had a drop the mic moment, he said, “Well, I’m here to tell you this is the only body you get, take care of it!”  I realized it wasn’t that I wasn’t disciplined, it was I was lacking my WHY. I have always had a why when I do anything. Yes, I knew this was my only body I would get, but hearing it like that was a smack in the face. What was going to happen when I had grandkids who lived here and were over every day and they wanted me to run around with them? I know that when I eat sugar the inflammation that happens in my body is serious. So, I found my why and I decided to make a change. I know I can be disciplined in all areas of my life, including food. Yup, it’s hard just like it was waking up every morning and following my morning routine. But I found when you want something bad enough, you will find a way. I want to be healthy and be an example for my family and others. It’s why I do anything I do, to help others. I always want to help you Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

T.M.I. Friday – Me

findthegoodinyourlifeLeave a comment

Image-1-3Good Morning Sunshines! “I’m a big believer that your life is basically a sum of all the choices you make. The better your choices, the better the opportunity to lead a happy life.” ~Karen Salmansohn

T.M.I. Friday – Me. So the blog I wrote yesterday is not what I decided to publish today. In my “to be published” are 9 things that I’ve written lately and then changed my mind for whatever reason, deciding not hit the publish button. So, what am I going to talk about if it wasn’t that bit from yesterday…..

Three rules I try to live by….One: At an early age I remember my grandma telling me, “If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.” Little did I know she was quoting Thumper from Bambi. However, this rule has stuck with me most of my life. Did you know it’s possible to see something on social media and not reply to it? It is! You can scroll right on by. Trust me, I have written out my fair share of “I can’t believe you just said that” responses and then deleted them. Mainly because I can still hear my grandma asking me “Was that nice?”

Two: Never Mess With Anyone’s Family or Money. In one of our business ventures we weren’t making a profit. We made enough to make sure our employees could get paid but not really us. This was a struggle. Knowing that one day this wouldn’t be a challenge we continued to push forward. We also knew if you treated people the way you would like to be treated, most of them would do the same, so we were great to our employees. Needing to leave the store early one night, we asked one of our people if she could close up for us. “Sure, no problem,” she said. Well the next day we get to the store and find out she had sex in our back room and cleaned our petty cash to order food. We left her alone for what should have been 15 minutes and she was there for hours doing us wrong. Needless to say, she was fired. We didn’t really have the money to pay her to stay longer, but we sacrificed and took from our family to make sure she had what she needed, only to have her “screw” us over. All I could think was, “You took from my family.” I had to refer to rule one in order to not call her out of her name and stick to the facts.

Three: Always be Positive, Uplifting and Encouraging. I guess this kind of goes with rule one, but I think it deserves its own rule. We never know what someone is going through, so to say something positive, uplifting or encouraging to them could really change their day. But not only to others, but also ourselves. When my kids were little, and probably still now, if they said anything mean about themselves or their sibling I would make them say 3 nice things. I know for all the negative that we hear it takes a lot more positive to undo the negative. So if you are like I was, saying things are negative about yourself, you need to say at least 3 positives about yourself to overcome that. What you say to yourself can be even more damaging than what that bully in your life would say. It’s ok to say you are amazing, you are an overcomer, you are going to kick butt in this new business (even if others say you can’t, show them you can). You do not need to believe what others, or even you, have said in the past. You can rewrite your own story. I have! (I’ll save that soap box for another day) However, today as you get to know me a little better, I hope I help you Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · technoligy · Uncategorized

What Are You Doing With Your Time?

findthegoodinyourlifeLeave a comment

clockGood Morning Sunshines! “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” ~ Steve Jobs

Time is no respecter of person. It doesn’t matter if you are rich or poor, you get the same amount. You can’t buy more time. You can’t borrow from tomorrow’s and you can’t take back what you “waisted” yesterday. No matter what happens or what family you are born into, you get the same 24 hours as everyone else. How are you using it?

This morning when Elon Musk or Warren Buffett woke up they were not granted more hours in their day because of how productive they were in the past. I do not know them, but something tells me they probably didn’t binge watch something on Netflix yesterday.

While I was researching how different people use their time I found a common denominator for those who are most productive and wealthy. It’s how they were using their time that really mattered. I don’t know about you, but I had always heard, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” or “Sleep is for broke people.” Actually, that is quite opposite of what I was reading and the podcast I watched. “They” (those who are where I want to be) said sleep was important. You can only make so many good decisions a day and without a good 6 to 8 hours of sleep a night you may make a costly mistake. Going to bed early so you can wake up early was actually recommended. The most productive hours in the day are first thing in the morning, if you use them right. So I listened to what they said and started using my morning time more wisely. I know I’ve talked about this before but I think it’s worth repeating. First thing in the morning, give to you. For me that looks like, reading my bible, praying, journaling, reading, writing my blog or working on my book and then working out. That is my first few hours of my day. I was feeling pretty good about how I was spending my mornings and my routine. Then things got a little trickier.

What did they do with the rest of their day? It looked like a lot of research, meetings, making decisions, returning emails (but only twice a day, that is important because you can get caught up answering emails every 5 minutes depending on what you do) giving back to the community, investing in people, teaching, learning. I got excited! Investing in people, that’s what I do! How were they doing that? One of the things that all these people said and had in common was they are always reading and learning from others so they can pour into others. Yes! They all spent at least an hour a day reading and learning from others. Even Warren Buffett said he still learns something new every day. The other thing that these people had in common was not only had they established a morning routine, they had a night routine. For some it was tuning out the world and reading and writing things they were thankful for that day. One thing they all said was before bed they would journal down their goals, and make a “To Do” list for the next day. This always kept their why in front of them and helped keep their dream alive.

For some people being a millionaire may not be your thing. I have a friend whose goal right now is to be the best mom and wife she can be. As she and I talked about all this for the past few weeks, she set goals on how she would do this and she saw a change in her house and family. She found there was less stress in the house. What had changed? She was taking the first and last part of the day for her and not feeling guilty that she needed a moment. She said becoming a morning person was a huge change for her, but she found that it made a difference when she started they day off right. Setting a routine for her kids and herself helped make things run smoother. She says she is able to be a better wife because she isn’t feeling so stressed, and when her husband comes home she is able to enjoy that time with him and not feel like she needs to be rescued from the chaos that was her life.

My point, time is precious. How are you using it? Do you need help on how to manage your time? I’m here to help you, if you need it. We are all given the same amount. Are you going to use it to help you Find The Good In Your Life?

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Inspirational · Uncategorized

T.M.I. Friday – My Hubby

findthegoodinyourlifeLeave a comment

fullsizeoutput_1a43

Good Morning Sunshines! “Let a wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.” ~ Martin Luther

T.M.I. Friday….Let me tell ya about my Hubby! He is my best friend and one of the strongest men I’ve ever known. We fell in love because of the common goals we had in life and our love for poker. It amazes me how he will say “I’m going to do ______”, and do it. His will power is amazing. I will get jealous because he has no problem giving up food or starting something new and sticking to it. Discipline is not something he lacks. I’m very attracted to his mind. I have been told that this is called sapiosexual. (A sapiosexual is someone who finds sexual stimulation from the way a person’s mind works. It means you literally are attracted to intelligence.) Yup, I find it very sexy!

One of the things I love most is his heart. He says he lacks empathy and there has been times where this has been shown, but with strangers. However when it comes to family and close friends I have seen him love unconditionally. One of my favorite things he does is, when I’m having a moment because I have given out so much he will speak words of affirmation over me. We call this “Good Stuff”. There are times when I will come up to him and say, “Babe, I need good stuff,” and he will speak back life into me. He will say things like, “You are an amazing wife, friend and mother. I love how you love on people.” Things like that. I am thankful that I have someone who will speak love into me, because the world does not always do that.

I still get butterflies when I know he’s on his way home, like when I knew he was on his way over to pick me up for a date. I still see fireworks every time we kiss and my knees go weak. When he holds my hand it calms me like nothing and no one could. We call our bed our island. When we are there nothing and no one can get to us. This is our safe place where we can have conversations, “pillow talk,” that might be hard to have, but in this safe place we have made life changing decisions. I am so thankful that I have my best friend to walk through life with. I get excited thinking about all the places we will go together and all the things we get to do together. I plan to live to be 101 and when we are looking back at our lives and still holding hands I will forever be grateful that I did it all with him. My hubby is some of the best Good In My Life.

 

family · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

I Am Thankful

findthegoodinyourlifeLeave a comment

IMG_1100

Good Morning Sunshines! “When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” ~ Willie Nelson

I am so thankful for another day. I have started writing this at least 5 times and deleted it because all I can think is I am so thankful for another day. Why am I so thankful? I am thankful for another day to try again. I am thankful for my family. I am thankful that I get to go spend some time with some amazing ladies today. I am thankful that I get to do laundry today. I am thankful that I can call my mom later and check on her. I am thankful that I learned from my mistakes of yesterday. I am thankful I woke up next my hubby. I am thankful for friendships that have turned into “family”. I am thankful I have a place to call home. I am thankful I live in Cali. I am thankful for my animals. I am thankful for social media. I am thankful that I have time for others. I am thankful for those quiet moments when I can just sit and appreciate all that I am thankful for. I am thankful for my daughters laugh. I am thankful when I get a call or text from my son. I am thankful for my granddaughter. I am thankful I have my husbands hand to hold. I am thankful I get to go workout today. I am thankful for my marriage. I am thankful for pillow talk with my hubby.

I could go on but I won’t. Most of the times we count our blessings when we just had something major happen, good or bad. I had neither of those things happen, I just woke up feeling so thankful. I couldn’t hold it in. Whatever happens today I will remember, I am thankful. I am thankful for you who is reading this. I am most thankful for all of us who are walking this walk together to Find The Good In Our Lives.

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

Don’t Wish It Away

findthegoodinyourlife2 Comments

dancing in the rainGood Morning Sunshines! “The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn the past, worry about the future or to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” ~ Buddha

Have you ever found yourself wishing for the next thing? When I was a child, I couldn’t wait to be a teenager . When I was a teen, I couldn’t wait to be out of high school. When I was single, I couldn’t wait to be married. When I had one child, I couldn’t wait for more. When I had to get up in the middle of the night to feed them, I couldn’t wait for them to sleep through the night. Now that I can look back on it, I believe I couldn’t wait for them to get older too. My heart sinks at the thought of how much time I waisted on wishing for the next thing and not enjoying the now.

I look at my family as they are growing up and are married, one with a baby, and wish I had that time back to sit on the floor and play with them instead of wishing they were older and could help me clean. I think about my friends who I don’t get to spend time with because we all have our own lives and some of us don’t live close by. I remember my grandma telling me to enjoy the moment because they will go by so fast. It is now that I truly understand this.

What am I trying to say? I challenge you to stop wishing away the day but instead embrace it. Take every part of your day and remember you will not get this day back. Go outside today and feel the sunshine on your face. If it’s raining, go outside and dance in the rain. Don’t worry about tomorrow or even the next hour, just be in the moment. Today, sit a little longer with a friend, hold your baby while they nap, call someone you miss. For those of you who enjoy your work, (that’s awesome) remember that. When it’s getting you frustrated and you want to throw in the towel, remember why you started doing what you are doing. Remind yourself of your why! Tomorrow is a new day and you may fail today at these things and wish you could be doing something else, and that’s ok. Keep trying every day till you can Find The Good In Your Life and in every moment.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

Petrified In Fear

findthegoodinyourlifeLeave a comment

hands-in-chainsGood Morning Sunshines! “Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real.” ~ Unknown

Have you ever been petrified in fear? Have you ever felt like it didn’t matter what you did it was going to be wrong, so you decided doing nothing would be better? Have you ever woken up and known that you were failing everyone around you by not doing what you were called to do, but it was easier to do the safe thing, because failing again was something you didn’t want to risk? Have you ever thought, “No one will notice if I give up?” Have you ever thought, “It’s just not worth it?” I have! It was literally so bad I did nothing. When I say I did nothing, I mean I did nothing. I laid in bed all day being the most unproductive self I could be. It got to the point that I couldn’t even look myself in the mirror and ask, “What are you doing?” because I didn’t want to face the truth. I wanted to give up because I was scared.

The second day of “feeling” this way I knew I had to do something because this was not me. I got up and showed up, but didn’t post. I knew I had to go through the motions even if I didn’t “feel” like it. I did this for 8 days. “What the heck Maria!?!? Seriously, this is your soap box. You are everyone’s cheerleader for their dreams, you speak life into them when they have doubt and fear, do it for yourself.”  I had always told people to be careful of your “feelings” because some days you will “feel” love and another dislike, just remember why you started. Have you ever found it easier to root for someone else than yourself? Ya, me too. I knew this is not where I wanted to stay. I had to find my way out of this “feeling”.  But how?

I had to remind myself of my why. I went back and reread my personal journals of why I must not quit. I listened to more podcasts than ever before. I read more than I ever have before. I talked to a friend I trusted who I knew would understand but push me forward. I started speaking life back into myself and writing my goals back down. Going through the process I knew worked for me and had gotten me to where I was. I became thankful for where I was, but knew that is not where I wanted to stay. It’s ok if you fail. It means you’re doing something. I have to remind myself its a stepping stone to where I am going. So once again, I got up, showed up, and reminded myself to go Find The Good In My Life.

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Are You The CEO Of Your Own Life?

findthegoodinyourlifeLeave a comment

IMG_1084-1

Good Morning Sunshines! “The pen that writes your life story must be held in your own hand.” ~ Irene C Kassorla

Are you the CEO of your own life? One of my favorite movies is The Holiday. In this movie one of the actresses is going through some things and someone asked her, “Why are you not being the leading lady in your own life?” This struck a chord with me. I was not the lead in my own life. I allowed everyone and everything else to take precedence over me. I knew something had to change. There were so many things I wanted to do for myself but I made everyone else the priority. I knew I had to find a way to change it.

Change, UGH! I swear it should be a four letter word. I wanted it, I needed it. I had to have it. How was I going to get it? Every morning I had to fight a war against myself to get up and show up. If I could do this for a job, why couldn’t I do it for me? Every day I fight against procrastination, laziness, fear, doubt, so I can become the person I want to be. I get up earlier so I can do the things I want for me, before I do for others. I needed to take control of my life and the only way I could was first thing in the morning before the rest of the world demanded from me. It’s ok if you’re working for someone else, the question is, did you do for you before you did for them?

Every night before I go to bed, I look in the mirror and ask myself, “Were you the CEO of your own life today?” Most days I say “Yes!” I am proud of who I am becoming because I chose to take control of my life. I decided that making healthy habits for myself and not allowing others to dictate my life and happiness made me a better person not just for me but for everyone I encountered. Today I want you to ask yourself, “Am I the CEO of my own life?” If the answer is no, let’s find a way to change it so you can get The Good In Your Life.

 

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Don’t Let Your Mind Whisper Fear Into Your Heart

findthegoodinyourlifeLeave a comment

determination-to-succeed.jpgGood Morning Sunshines! “Stay focused, go after your dreams and keep moving toward your goals.” ~ LL Cool J

I can talk my self out of anything. I’ll put something in my cart but by the time I get to the checkout I have decided not to get it, even though my husband will tell me to buy it. I am the queen at rationalizing why I don’t need something. Have you ever been so excited about something you want to do, a new goal, but then you start to find ways why it won’t work instead of why it will work? In the past I have been so excited about a project that I’m about to take on and the next thing I know I’m no longer excited about it. I will tell myself, “I’m going to work out at least 3 to 5 times a week. Everyone knows you never miss a Monday. Well, actually, I can’t on Mondays because I’m so tired from Sunday, and I can’t go Tuesdays because I have an early meeting…” Next thing you know you’re paying for a gym membership you don’t actually use. My favorite thing I have talked myself out of in the past is eating healthy. “Well it’s the holidays, it’s this person’s birthday, got to eat cake. I don’t want to answer questions about why I decided to become a vegetarian so I’ll just eat meat to keep everyone off my back from telling me why it’s a bad idea, even though I feel it’s best for me.” I would talk myself out of things out of fear of failing.

I decided not to talk myself out of things anymore. How was  I going to do this, when I am the Queen of it? In the beginning, I found that if I wrote out a Pro and Con list, that helped. If I found someone to be accountable to, that helped me. Sometimes it also helped that other person because you don’t want to let them down. However, my friends knew I was a pushover when it came to working out so I had to pay a trainer. You don’t mess with my money, I’ll be there! But when it came to my writing or a new business opportunity, I found talking to that one person I knew who could help me remember even when I’m not “feeling it” was the best thing for me. I’m thankful that for me that’s my hubby. He helps me remember the excitement I had about something. However, the one thing that I found that works 100% of the time is this… just to do it. When it comes down to it, I am only responsible for myself, and if I want something bad enough, nothing and nobody can talk me out of it, including myself. I have to remind myself, “Don’t let your mind whisper fear into your heart.” When I want something bad enough, nothing will stop me. The next time you start to hear “you can’t do that” or “it’ll never work,” ask yourself, “Is that your heart or your mind?” Listen to your heart. Stop being rational about everything and get passionate about YOU! Let’s start having passion about our life. I promise this will help you to Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Walking Past Abundance

findthegoodinyourlifeLeave a comment

focus

Good Morning Sunshines! “I have a lot to be thankful for. I am healthy, happy and I am loved.” ~Reba McEntire

Where are you looking? When things are not going the way you wish they were, are you focusing on the lack? I remember being a single mom, living in a one bedroom make-shift apartment with my kids. Our “sofa” was two twin mattresses stacked on top of each other that we would pull apart at night for them to sleep on in the living room floor. To the outside world this probably looked like lack. To us, this was true happiness. There was peace in the house. We would sit at the table and eat dinner together and laugh and not worry about things that had happened before.

When you focus on your lack, you have to walk past your abundance to get to your lack. When you keep focusing on what you don’t have you aren’t being grateful for what you do have. Don’t get me wrong, there were days in that little apartment when all I could do was pray that one day soon I would be able to afford a bigger place where my kids actually have their own rooms. However, I found that when I changed my mindset about where I was in life and was grateful for what I DID have, it made life a lot easier. There are things in my life I am still working toward every single day, but I do not let it steal my joy from today. I refuse to walk past my abundance to look for the lack. Can you share with me three things you are grateful for right now? I hope you can look at your abundant blessings in your life right now and Find The Good In Your Life .

family · gratitude · Inspirational · Uncategorized

T.M.I. Friday – Just Be Here

findthegoodinyourlifeLeave a comment

download

Good Morning Sunshines! “It is hard to love yourself if you never spend time with yourself. Alone time is necessary.” ~ Izey Victoria Odiase

My heart is so full with the love from the response I received for “No More Hurt”. The part that touched my heart the most was how I got to hear from all of you. I received so many comments and private messages. I loved talking with you. That is why I write and want to help people. It was an opportunity to hear about the things you are going through and what you would like me to talk about. I really would like this to be an open dialog. One of the things that a few people mentioned was they loved TMI Fridays because they felt like they got to know me a little bit more so here is todays TMI….

I told y’all that my hubby and I are on an East Coast tour. One of the things we are doing while we are away is going to a conference. Well, from all the traveling we have been doing I became so swollen. I retain water like a camel. So today I stayed at our Air BnB while he went to the confrence and took a water pill. This was amazing. It’s not my house so I didn’t have to clean. We did the laundry yesterday. So the only thing I could do was relax. I drank tea, I read, I listened to podcasts, I wrote and I watched 3 romantic comedies all while laying/sitting in bed. Seriously, awesome. I loved doing this so much but felt like I should be doing something else.

Seriously, why is it so hard to enjoy “Me Time”? These are all my favorite things to do (just missing working out and baths). I made myself be in the moment. Every time I would start to think about two weeks from now when I’m back home and what needs to be done, I would stop myself and say “Be here now.” Learning to be in the moment is still something I struggle with but I am learning. Yes, we need to plan for tomorrow, but not worry about it. I decided that I needed some more practice so I’m taking another “Me day”, this time I’ll hit the gym and get some one-on-one time with the sunshine. What is your favorite way to take a “Me Day”? Whatever it is, I hope it helps you Find The Good In Your Life.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

No More Hurt

findthegoodinyourlife2 Comments

IMG_0983

Good Morning Sunshines! Today’s blog was very hard for me to write. There is only a handful of people in my life who know the things I am about to share with you. It is taking a lot for me to open up and be this transparent with you because I hope this part of my story can help someone out there. Please remember the things that happened to you do not define who you are.

How do you talk about the darkest moments in your life? I really don’t know. I remember the first time I talked to anyone about what my life was like and they said “Wow! That sounds like a movie! It doesn’t seem real!” It was real, and I never felt like I could escape it, so I thought I had to find a way out, the only way I knew how, suicide.

My life at eleven and twelve was a total nightmare. My mom was a full-blown alcoholic and drug user. She was married to my step-dad and all they did was fight. Not his fault, it was my moms drinking and drugs. In the 70’s and early 80’s, I’m not sure we knew about drug addiction like we do now. The night things went from bad to nightmare was when my step-dad and step-brother were gone for the weekend and just my mom was home. She had gone to her local bar and brought someone home with her. I turned my music on because I could hear them in the living room. They were listening to music and drinking and Lord knows what else. The next thing I knew a man I never met was in my room. He got into my bed and started touching me. I started crying and yelling for my mom. He laughed and said she was knocked out and that she had said he could come into my room. The things that happened to me should never happen to any child. Unfortunately this was the first of many. I remember telling my mom the next day and being so mad at her. She told me that I needed to “grow up and keep my mouth shut.” Whenever she needed a fix and no one was home she would allow these people to come into my room. I remember the day I said no more. I sat in my bathroom up against the door. I saw the razor on the counter. It was a blade from a shaving razor. Back then you would have to open it up and put a new blade in to shave. Well, someone left it out and all I could do was think about not hurting anymore. If I die, she (my mom) would know just what she did to me. I wanted her to hurt as bad as I did. I just wanted to die. As I slit my wrist and started screaming my mom burst into the bathroom. She asked me what the hell I was doing. I yelled “I want to die!” She grabbed a pair of scissors and started to attack me. I raised my hands up to protect myself as she yelled “You want to die, here I’ll kill you!” The scissors puncturing my hands and arms over and over. Finally, something in her snapped and she realized what she was doing. She got up and ran out of the room. I remember hearing her vomiting as I sat in the bathroom with blood all over me. I had grabbed a towel and wrapped my wrist. I was so scared. I had no idea what would happen to me. She called a friend over to look at my hands. We didn’t talk for a few days and I missed school. My mom told me to call my dad and see if I could visit for the summer and that’s what I did. However, things were not sunshine and roses there.

My dad was a very stern man. I didn’t really know him… still don’t. What I knew was he was a Marine, police officer, correctional officer and does not handle weakness well. I had a friend’s brother commit suicide and asked him if I could go to the funeral and he told me only weak people kill themselves and I could not go. I could never tell my dad the nightmare I lived through because he would think I was weak and look down on me more than he already did. My heart was broken. Not feeling safe with either parent and not knowing who I could ever trust with this secret that kept me feeling dirty every day of my life.

I look at my hands and wrist now and can barely see the scars. I remember the day I told my youth pastors wife some of the things I had gone through, testing the waters to see if she was a safe adult. She was! She hugged me and said she was so sorry that I had to go through this. She found a counselor for me to talk to. She found a doctor who made sure I was physically ok. I wish this was all in a short amount of time, but it took me three years to tell anyone what happened. I was fifteen, living back with my mom and just worried that things might repeat them selves, so I needed to find a safe place. Things didn’t repeat, but repercussions effected everything else that happened (that’s for another day).

Where is the good in this story? I wish someone would have told me things will get better. I wish someone would have told me suicide is not the answer. I wish someone could have walked with me through that nightmare. I wish I would have spoken up when it all started. There are so many young people out there today who are dealing with nightmares of their own from bullies at school, or maybe even the ones at home. There are people in your life right now who think that suicide is the only answer. We need to make sure they know things will get better. It’s ok to feel like your whole life is falling apart and not know how to deal with it. BUT somehow we need to let people know we really are here for them and then be there for them. I’ve had this hopeless feeling several times, but I reminded myself how things did get better. I now look at the scars on my hands and wrists as a reminder that things will get better, just don’t stop fighting. I hope that you make yourself available to others so that they know you are a safe place. If right now you need someone to talk to, talk to me. I want you and everyone to once again Find The Good In Your Lives.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255
family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Yoga Is Not Relaxing (but I enjoy it)

findthegoodinyourlifeLeave a comment

Hussein_backbend

Good Morning Sunshines! My hubby and I have been on a tour of the East Coast visiting friends and family. It snowed everywhere we went! Thankfully we are now in warm Florida for a week. While we have been traveling, I had my birthday, and got to celebrate our granddaughters first birthday. I am now 47, so I thought I would share 47 things that I have learned…

  1. It’s ok to put myself first
  2. Tomorrow isn’t promised
  3. Giving your time is the best gift you can give
  4. Real friends are few and far between
  5. Real love is amazing
  6. Marrying my best friend was the best thing I ever did
  7. Traveling with my hubby is a lot of fun
  8. Sitting outside in the sun energizes me
  9. I really like baseball. Love the Dodgers!!!
  10. Family time is my favorite
  11. I enjoy working out
  12. The hard times will get better
  13. Learning to love myself was harder than I thought it would be
  14. Learning to accept my flaws is still a struggle
  15. Even the people I love and look up to will let me down sometimes
  16. Having a mentor will stretch you
  17. Daily improvement makes me feel good about myself (reading, podcasts, conferences)
  18. Some people don’t want to change and I have to accept that
  19. Good music speaks to my soul like nothing else can
  20. I can choose to be happy even when things aren’t going right
  21. Yoga is not relaxing (but I enjoy it)
  22. Meditation is harder than I thought, but worth it
  23. A good bed is a must
  24. So is a good pillow
  25. I love just sitting around a fire pit with friends and family more than going out
  26. I am great at time management
  27. I am a great friend
  28. It’s ok to say “No” with no explanation
  29. I like sushi
  30. I can’t swim and not sure I’ll ever learn
  31. I can read people rather well and can spot a fake a mile away
  32. I don’t have to be friends with everyone
  33. Not everyone is going to like me
  34. I have a very creative mind and need to use it more
  35. I enjoy reading (I read the first chapter and last chapter first)
  36. Baths are my favorite way to end a day
  37. Use moisturizer daily
  38. Enjoy what you do or stop doing it
  39. Tell those you love that you love them as often as can
  40. Travel as much as you can
  41. I enjoy being around people, but recharge by having quiet time
  42. I love going above and beyond for those I love
  43. Missing my grandma doesn’t get easier
  44. Being a grandparent is wonderful
  45. Riding with the top off my jeep and music blaring makes me happy
  46. I don’t enjoy cooking
  47. Having adult kids is the best because you have new best friends you have so many amazing memories with

I hope you are having a great week. I will be back to my normal writing soon. I have a few things I have written but they are kind of heavy and wasn’t sure when I would be ready to open up like that. I truly enjoy sharing my life with you and helping others Find The Good In Theirs.

 

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

TMI Friday – Grandma – International Women’s Day

findthegoodinyourlifeLeave a comment

grandma

Good Morning Sunshines! “She made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible. She walked with the Universe on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of wings.”  ―Ariana Dancu

It’s TMI Friday! Yesterday was International Women’s Day so I wanted to talk about the most amazing woman I’ve ever known, my grandma. My grandma was/is my hero. She taught me so much. Grandma was a godly woman who always made time for the word. She started and ended each day in prayer. She never raised her voice. If she got mad she would start talking really low so you had to concentrate on what she was saying. It was worse than someone yelling.  I could never get anything past her. If I called “just to say hi”, she always knew exactly what was going on before I even told her. My grandma was a farmer’s wife, she had six kids, and many grandkids. Grandma never had favorites. I would joke and tell her “it’s ok to say I’m your favorite.” She would let me know her favorite was whoever needed her most at that time. She always made you feel like you were the most important person when she talked to you. She really listened.

My grandma had gotten a job out of the house for a few years and worked in an arcade. Yes, a video game arcade! If you would have met her at first you would have thought this was strange. However, after 5 minutes of watching her around all the young people who came through you would know she was right where she was supposed to be. They loved her! Grandma would call kids out on their baggy pants, wild looks, bad attitudes, and always get to the root of the issues. I remember one day going to work with her and a group of kids came in being loud and disrespectful. Grandma walked up to them and told them to watch their language, and pull up their pants because she had no desire to see their behinds. One of the kids got mouthy and grandma started talking real low. I’m not sure what she said, but the next thing I know, their pants are pulled up and they are saying “Yes Mama.” She walked back up to her seat, grabbed some quarters, gave them each a few, and went and played Lady Bug, her favorite game. Everyone loved Grandma.

Grandma passed away a few years ago on, February 14, 2011. This seemed so fitting for her. I was so sad and just wanted to lay in bed all day and cry. However, I could hear my grandma saying “How long are you going to cry?’ (Read my post,  Finding the Good, to understand that a little better) I cried for a while and then knew it was going to be ok. For me, knowing she was spending Valentines with her first love was so fitting. I miss her every day. When my time comes I hope I am half as loved and respected as she was. Grandma was such an amazing example of love, never judging. She met you where you were at. I am so thankful for her and the amazing woman she was. I hope you have an amazing woman in your life who can help you Find The Good.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

I Choose Today

findthegoodinyourlifeLeave a comment

person-598191_960_720Good Morning Sunshines! “Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.” ~ Author Unknown

The choices you make today will determine where you are tomorrow. I can not stress enough how today needs to be the day you make those changes. Think about the day you first thought about making a change. Where would you be now if you would have followed through?

Today is the day! Today is the day you take charge of your own life. Today is the day you stop believing the lies that were spoken over you. Today is the day you say no more! Today is the day you stop being a victim and start becoming victorious. Today is the day you choose happiness and joy. Today is the day you start believing in your self. Today is the day you start appreciating every day as a gift and stop taking life for granted. Today is the day you start working toward your goals and dreams.

Today I am making some changes that I wish I would have made a few years ago. For me, I have taken my health for granted and I can’t do it anymore. What is it that you need to take hold of today and say, “No More!”. I challenge you today to look at your life and say, “I’m ready to make a change and I will Find The Good In My Choices!”

family · Inspirational · technoligy · Uncategorized

Put it down!

findthegoodinyourlifeLeave a comment

Group of friends at a restaurant with all people on the table ocGood Morning Sunshines! “So that’s the telephone? They ring, and you run.” ~Edgar Degas

Microwave Society ~The mindset of wanting (and nearly getting) everything “RIGHT NOW”. Technology has made gathering or sending information extremely fast and we’ve begun to think that everything in life should be available on demand.

One night my hubby and I were out to dinner and at the table across the way we saw a couple sitting together. He was reading a paper, she was sitting waiting for conversation. I told Matt, “I never want to be like that.” Let’s fast forward 12 years…. I’m sitting at table with a friend yesterday and as we are talking they get a text. I am literally in the middle of game planning with them about something we are working on and they pick up their phone and start to read their text. A few things hit me in my gut at this time….

  1. Am I not worthy of your time?
  2. Is there something else you’d rather be doing?
  3. You are so rude because it was a group text, I got it too but didn’t stop to read it!
  4. Maybe we should talk business at another time when you can focus on our conversation.
  5. Would you do this if you were talking to someone else?

I know I have been guilty of this myself from time to time when sitting with a friend, but I vowed right then to never do that again. I never carry a purse so the phone does end up on the table and I do let people know if I am expecting an important call or something that is time sensitive that I will need to address as soon as it comes in. However, I have never in the middle of a meeting picked up my phone. I say all that to say, where did our manners go? Giving someone our full attention should not be that hard. I feel that we have gotten so comfortable with being a microwave society that we don’t even realize how rude we have become. I am going to make it a point to not do this anymore. We went years without cell phones and the world did not fall apart because we didn’t answer a phone call, text, email, right away. I think we would be less stressed out if we start setting boundaries to our phones/life. We need to put more focus on human interaction and less into technology, at least when we are sitting with people. I know I want to make that person who is speaking to me feel like they are important and I value their time. I challenge you to put down the phone, talk to someone and Find The Good In Genuine Interaction.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Boss vs Leader

findthegoodinyourlifeLeave a comment

BC3BA6E5-54BE-4C7D-9E91-09F88E2EEA8C-469-0000000E177B9D26

Good Morning Sunshines! “People ask the difference between a leader and a boss. The leader leads, and the boss drives.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt

I was at a local coffee shop the other day and was listening to the conversation at the next table as they complained about their new boss. One of the girls was a manager at the company and the other was being trained for another store. However, the training wasn’t going well because “the boss” didn’t know how to train/teach, she was a micromanager. Instead of equipping these young ladies with the skills they needed to learn in order to lead, she preferred to give them tasks that she needed to make sure were being completed. This made me cringe. I know people like this. At one point I may have even been that boss. It usually comes from a place of not wanting others to succeed, or worried they will take your place, when actually what will happen is people will see your ability to have people follow you and learn from you and you will be given praise for that.

Through the years I have learned that teaching someone to take your job opens you up for promotion. Let’s break it down even more simply, we teach our kids how to do laundry, do dishes, vacuum the house, etc. Yes, we will continue to make sure for some time they are doing these properly, but one day you no longer have to micromanage them. They have learned this skill and one day will be able to pass the knowledge on. As a boss/leader it is the same thing. Once you can let go and allow others to take ownership of their job/responsibilities, it then opens you up to do other things. If you are in any type of leadership role, I challenge you to teach people instead of just being a micromanager. Allow for mistakes and use those as teachable moments. I know the people you work with will then Find The Good In You.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

TMI Friday-Birthday

findthegoodinyourlifeLeave a comment

IMG_0480Good Morning Sunshines! While I was on my hiatus of writing and planning my daughter’s wedding, I received a few DM’s (direct messages) from random people letting me know they missed me writing and really liked my TMI Fridays. Thank you to those who reached out to check on me and letting me know you enjoy my almost daily post.

Happy TMI Friday! Today’s post is all about why I love my birthday. March 18 is my birthday and this year I will be 47. I am very ok with my age and love to celebrate. Think about it, what is the alternative? If you don’t have a birthday you are no longer here.  I have always loved my birthday and other people’s birthdays. I love to celebrate people. For me, birthdays mean breakfast in bed, gifts, and being loved on by your friends and family. That happens for anyone in my family and close friends, not just me. My hubby knows I love my birthday and has let me turn it into a birthday month. However, I have tried to do something different this year and that’s celebrate every day.

I really want to celebrate life and not take advantage of it. Every day so far this year I have done something small just to celebrate me/life. I found that the days were running together, then the weeks, months, and even years. I needed to slow things down. A lot of the times my moment of just me is sitting outside with the dogs, feeling the sun and listening to music that makes me feel happy to be alive. The other day I listened to a whole album. I have no idea the last time I did that. For me, celebrating me/life isn’t about a party, it’s about being thankful that I am still here and enjoying every moment of it. Feeling the aches and pains of my muscles from my workout makes me happy. Things that use to bother me, now make me happy. Getting a phone call from a family member or friend makes me smile. I used to wish people would just text, but slowing down to talk to someone is so much better. One day we wont be able to talk anymore and I never want to miss that chance. Starting today, I hope you can start celebrating you/life daily and Find The Good In It.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Mask

findthegoodinyourlifeLeave a comment

IMG_0464Good Morning Sunshines! “How long will it take before people stop being polite and start getting real?” – Real World

What kind of mask do you wear? We all have them; sometimes we have several, depending on who we are with. For years I wore a mask of a happy marriage. We would fight, a lot of the time it was physical. So, when I told people I was getting a divorce, no one understood. I was lying to people for years to protect myself and him. I wore a mask as a teen to hide myself from almost everyone. My mom had walked out on me when I was 15 because she needed to get help for her drug addiction, leaving me to live on my own. The only person who knew was my boyfriend and eventually his mom. It wasn’t till I was 17, almost 18, that the state found out and sent me to go live with my dad. It’s crazy the life we can live behind these masks.

As I was talking to a group of people the other day about the masks we wear, someone said something that struck a nerve with me. “What am I doing that people aren’t comfortable enough to take down their mask?” I really try not to wear a mask anymore and be transparent with people. I want people to know who I am. I also want to be able to pour into people and love on them so they feel comfortable taking down their mask. I challenge you to look at your mask and the people you surround yourself with and see who and where you can take down your mask around. Find people who will except you and help you Find The Good In Your Life.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Who Are You?

findthegoodinyourlifeLeave a comment

986471BF-BB1D-430F-BAA3-B1F96073FA84Good Morning Sunshines! I’m back! My daughter is married! The wedding was amazing and I have recovered. I’m looking forward to talking with all of you again.

We are all created to be individuals. So why do we compare ourselves to others? How boring would the world be if we all looked and acted the same? In my 20’s and early 30’s I really did compare myself a lot to my friends, the women I’d pass on the street, and even people I saw in the movies. I was never satisfied with my clothing size, the “things” I could do (because I wanted to be gifted or talented like others) even my personality. I wished I was different. I have a loud laugh and I’m very animated. I tried not to overdo it around most people, worried they won’t accept me for who I really am.

I’m not sure when the mindset change was, but I do remember reading…..

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” ~ Dr. Seuss

Such wise words! I was about 35 when I decided I would live my life out loud. I have a lot to say. I really have gone through a lot and I believe our tests are our testimonies, so I decided I would start liking those things I wanted to change. I started caring less and less about other people’s opinion about what I was doing in my life. I remember the first time I put down a book I had started reading and said to my self, “I am not enjoying this, I’m not going to read it.” That was huge for me. I have walked out of movies, left restaurants and even stopped hanging around people who were no longer bringing happiness to my life. I no longer had the need for everyone’s approval because I now had my own. I know for some this can be hard in a world of “likes” and “friends”. My hope for you today is that you will, Find The Good In You.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Rare and Beautiful Treasures

findthegoodinyourlife1 Comment

Books-You-Can-Read-in-an-AfternoonGood Morning Sunshine! “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” ~Mignon McLaughlin

Yesterday was my husband and my half-year anniversary. Everyday it amazes me how much more I really do love him. Yesterday was a busy day. He worked all day, I did wedding stuff for my daughter, and then we had an appointment. We came home ate and just sat around the table talking. When the kids got home they joined us. We sat around the table just talking and laughing and it truly filled my heart with so much joy. It reminded me of something I had read earlier. I had journaled something after reading my devotional and this is what it said…..

This morning in my devotional I was reading something I’ve read so many times before but until today I never realized how it applies to me and my marriage. I always wonder if others laugh like our family does? Are they as excited as we are to see each other? Do they sit and talk just to know and understand what is happening in their lives and how they feel? I read…

Proverbs 24:3-4; By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.

Our treasures are those moments of laughter and tears as we sit and talk and understand each other. Communication. It’s so important in all relationships. Today, I’d like to challenge you to Find The Good In Your Home.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

T.M.I.Friday

findthegoodinyourlifeLeave a comment

diary-968603_960_720Good Morning Sunshines! “When you start to do the things that you truly love, it wouldn’t matter whether it is Monday or Friday; you would be so excited to wake up each morning to work on your passions.” ― Edmond Mbiaka

It’s Friday!!! The day where I just let you into too much information about my life. This will probably read more like a diary entry than my normal positive blogs, but here you go….

We have made it through another week and through a month of 2018. January is gone and February is here. Our daughter’s wedding is in 15 days. I haven’t been posting every day because the wedding has taken over. Not in a bad way, but it has defiantly helped me step up my gym time. I also bought a dress that was a half size too small because the size up was too big.

So, let me tell you about this week. We have finalized so much stuff this week for the wedding, we started two Bible studies at our home, been trying to help my mom with stuff in Puerto Rico, trying to finish writing my book, starting a new website, on top of trying to do our “normal” everyday things. I never feel like I really do a lot till I speak to other people. It’s then that people will say, “Wow, you are busy.” To me that’s normal. Today I am getting my hair cut and colored. If you know me I like “fun” colors. With my daughter’s wedding coming up I went “normal” but she has decided she wanted a fun color because it’s more me. I’m excited to have “me hair” for the wedding too. Speaking of the wedding, our son and daughter-in-law will be here in 13 days. That means our amazing granddaughter will be here. My hubby and I are so excited to have her here and love on her.

Well, it’s time to get up and get this day started. Sorry it’s not my normal get up and slay today post but I hope whatever you do today, you will Find The Good In Your Life.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Mondays!

findthegoodinyourlifeLeave a comment

mondays!

Good Morning Sunshines! “Mondays are tough for those people who don’t know how to spend them cheerfully. Get up and have fun today!” ~ unanimous

Have you ever woken up grumpy and not known why and said, “No one better mess with me today.”? I think we have all had those days. I know Mondays were the worst days for my employees. I’ve had a case of the Mondays before myself. It would usually start on Sunday night. I would start thinking about the week ahead and everything I needed to get done. It was only 3 pm on Sunday but I was already in the next week and no longer enjoying my weekend, my family time. Then come Monday I was moody and did not want to be there. UGH!!! Something needed to change.

I had read a  book where the person said to challenge yourself to not have a bad day. Keep telling yourself it’s not a bad day, and to be positive. This took some training but I really did learn how to do this. I would start to get in a “Monday Funk” and I would have to stop myself and think of positive things. I would literally make myself say three positive things right there and then. When you are thinking of the blessings in your life it’s hard to think about the negative.

These days, Mondays are my favorite day of the week. I try to have it as a day I look forward to by meeting a girlfriend for coffee, going to the gym, and prepping for the rest of the week. I very rarely have bad days anymore. I will stop and realize I am not having a bad day, I am having a bad moment. That moment in my day will not be my full day, it is just something that’s happening right now that I will need to move past. Don’t let the bad moments dictate your day. Find The Good In Your Day.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Banner Blindness

findthegoodinyourlife2 Comments

IMG_0241Hello Sunshines! “It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” ~Henry David Thoreau

How many of us ignore the ads that are on our social media these days? Crazy how we talk about something or look up something, but then we quickly start to ignore them again. This is banner blindness. But what about in our everyday life? Do we start to go blind too? Maybe not blind, but just don’t notice the change that’s happening. A friend gets a haircut, you don’t notice. The gas station you always go to changes names but you don’t notice. We get so caught up in our everyday life that we don’t stop and look around us and notice the changes that are happening in the world around us.

I have rose bushes outside my front door. Every day when I leave the house I will literally stop and smell the roses. I do that because when I was working 12 hour plus days I got so caught up in my work I forgot there was a world going on outside. One day I was going into work late, when I walked outside and noticed these beautiful roses. These rose bushes had been there as long as we had lived in the house, but I didn’t notice them because I would leave so early and come home late, my sights focused on my next task. But now when I leave my house and smell these roses, it reminds me to stop and notice the world around me. I don’t want to be blind to the world around me anymore. I want to notice not just the simple beautiful roses, but the people in need on the corner. I want to help others Find The Good In Their Life.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

It’s Not In The Budget

findthegoodinyourlife1 Comment

372D684A-5852-460C-B974-815D7AD432DB-40788-00000A7ED3A9B2F0Good Afternoon Sunshines! “The budget is not just a collection of numbers, but an expression of our values and aspirations.” ~ Jacob Lew

Have you ever said “It’s not in my budget,” or “I don’t have time for that?” I found out it’s never in my budget or I don’t have time for it if it’s not a priority to me. Our daughter’s wedding is coming up and the money we could have used a million other ways is being used to pay for a wedding because it is what is important to us. I pay for a gym membership because my health is important to me. I spend time reading books and listening to podcasts every day because growing and learning is important to me. However, I have had people tell me, “You should really watch this new show. It’s amazing!” The next time I see them they would ask, “What did you think?” To be honest, I haven’t had the time to watch it. Why didn’t I have I have the time? It’s because it wasn’t important to me. Not that my friend wasn’t important, it was that my time was important and I didn’t want to spend it on something that I was not sure I would enjoy.

Our time and resource are precious, and we need to be careful how we spend them. You will very rarely ever catch me doing something I really just don’t want to do; and if I am, it’s because the person I am with means more to me than that thing I am doing. When my kids were teenagers I stopped saying “It’s not in our budget,” and started telling them the truth, “That is not a priority.” As as example, they asked “Why don’t we have a tv and cable like my friends?” This truly was not, and still is not, a priority for us. Explaining to a teenager (and some adults) why we don’t have these things may be annoying, but I believe in being transparent about my life, so we would explain, “We don’t have time to sit in front of the tv, so why would we spend money on something we don’t use?” When I have asked my boss for a raise for an employee and he would say, “It’s not in the budget”, what I really wish he would have said was, “It’s not a priority,” because I would see money being spent in other places that to me was not a priority. I say ALL that to say this…. before you say it’s not in the budget or you don’t have time, be honest with yourself and others. Is this just not a priority? When you’re making the decision to spend your time or resources on something, make sure you ask yourself is it’s helping you Find The Good In Your Life.