family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

Red Sparkly Shoes

IMG_3375-1Good Morning Sunshines! “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” Mark Twain

I have these beautiful butterfly plates that I love to use but my husband only wants me to use on “special occasions.” This is where we differ. When my daughter was little she had these red sparkly shoes that she loved to wear. She had family members that when she went with them would ask that I not allow her to wear those shoes because they did not match what she was wearing. Trust me, this was hard for me because I was a parent that always had to make sure my kids were clean, clothes ironed, and hair done before they left the house. My kids had to be the “put together” kids. However, when it came to these red shoes I always made an exception. These shoes brought her so much joy. I would ask her, “Why do you ‘need’ to wear those shoes, when you have so many other shoes?” Her answer was always the same, “They are special shoes, they make me feel so pretty.” How was I going to argue with that. Explaining to a three year old that you are pretty no matter what you wear just wasn’t cutting it. (A little side note, my nickname for my daughter is also Pretty… she is My Pretty.)

I had an Aunt Marie. One summer I was sent to go stay there after my Uncle Al had passed away. I always thought she was odd with the way she did certain things, until I got older. Aunt Marie had this beautiful china we would eat on, and we used linen napkins. She had her friends come over to play cards and they were always dressed up. We would go to the store dressed in a nice dress. I remember sitting in the living room reading a book and hearing her friends talk about how nice it was to get dressed up when they would come over because it wasn’t something people did anymore. I asked my Aunt why she enjoyed getting dressed up. She said every day was special and she didn’t want to wait for a special occasion to get dressed up or to eat on her china when she could do it every day. I asked her then how will you know when it’s a really special occasion. She just smiled and said, “Don’t worry about that, people will tell you.” I never really understood that until lately.

We all have those friends that do something and we’ll say, “They are so extra.” I am sure people say that about me often, but that is ok. See, I want to be the person who uses her china (if I had any) for every day plates, or wear my sparkly shoes because they make me feel pretty. (I do have some but mine are pink) I want to be the person who makes you stop and think, like my Aunt Marie did for me. I have said this a 100 times and so has so many other people in your lives, “Tomorrow is not promised.” I do not live my life in a fear of “what if I die tomorrow,” but in the place of “I did everything I could today.” I enjoyed today. Today I lived my best life. I may have to work, maybe even at a job I don’t really like, but before work, after work, on my lunch break, I did something that bettered my today. I am pursuing the life I want. So, I will eat toast off of my butterfly plates. I will take a bath almost every night and use my Lush bath bombs, and if I have a not so good day, I may even use a whole bath bomb and bubbles and dip down to my nose as the bubbles consume me like I would when I was a kid. I want to be “extra.” I want to live my extra best life every day. I also want you to live your extra best life. Today is the day you Find The Good In Your Life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Entrepreneur · family · fear · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

Adjusting To The Dark

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Good Morning Sunshines! “Just like our eyes, our hearts have a way of adjusting to the dark.” – Adam Stanley

It’s been a few weeks since I last wrote but I have been thinking about this for a while. I was telling my hubby one night as I was walking upstairs in the dark that I realized I closed my eyes until I got to the light switch in our room. I asked him if he did the same. He said no, that he can see in the dark. You can see in the dark? Then I started leaving my eyes open in the dark and my eyes would adjust after a few minutes. I knew this was a thing, but all of a sudden I had a revelation to other things in life.

Being in the dark and letting our eyes adjust is a metaphor for so many things. I was having coffee one morning with a young lady who said, “When you’ve been in the dark for so long, your eyes start to adjust.” I almost fell out of my seat. She had no idea I had been thinking about this blog, not even sure she reads my blogs. But here it was again, our eyes adjusting to the dark. I realized it was “US” lying to ourselves. It could be the smallest thing but we soon adjust. My morning routine got thrown out the window the last few weeks while I planned an event. I would still read my bible and pray but it was kind of rushed. I even missed a few days. I didn’t work out, I didn’t write, and it was becoming ok because I was doing “something important.” The truth is, I was adjusting. I had lied to myself saying I will get back my “normal” when the crazy is over, where in reality I should have kept my “normal” and adjusted everything else to go with my lifestyle. However, my eyes were adjusting to the dark, my new “normal,” and I didn’t even notice til now. How did I notice I was living in the dark and had just adjusted my eyes?

On the morning of the event I knew it was going to be a crazy day so I grabbed my journal, and as I read my Bible that morning I went to write down what I was reading and feeling and saw it had been 3 weeks that I hadn’t journaled. WHAT!?!? How did that happen? I knew right then I needed to throw on the light switch and get back to what I knew to be true and what my “normal” was. I still had crazy going on for a few more days and because I had let myself adjust to the dark, it was taking me a minute to adjust to the light. Think about it; when you have been in a movie and walk outside, your eyes had gotten so used to the dark, you throw your hand up to protect your eyes, you squint, you have to get used to what was your norm all over again. So this week, little by little, I have been readjusting to the light and getting back to my norm.

Have you started to accept things in your life as “normal” because you let your eyes adjust to the dark? It could be as simple as mine, or it could be like my past of an abusive marriage where I thought “normal” was the words that were spoken to me, or the addiction of my mother. Those things were my “normal” until someone showed me that I had been living in the dark and had adjusted my eyes to see what I wanted in the dark. I hope today you can readjust your eyes and start seeing in the light again and Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

T.M.I. Friday – Me

Image-1-3Good Morning Sunshines! “I’m a big believer that your life is basically a sum of all the choices you make. The better your choices, the better the opportunity to lead a happy life.” ~Karen Salmansohn

T.M.I. Friday – Me. So the blog I wrote yesterday is not what I decided to publish today. In my “to be published” are 9 things that I’ve written lately and then changed my mind for whatever reason, deciding not hit the publish button. So, what am I going to talk about if it wasn’t that bit from yesterday…..

Three rules I try to live by….One: At an early age I remember my grandma telling me, “If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.” Little did I know she was quoting Thumper from Bambi. However, this rule has stuck with me most of my life. Did you know it’s possible to see something on social media and not reply to it? It is! You can scroll right on by. Trust me, I have written out my fair share of “I can’t believe you just said that” responses and then deleted them. Mainly because I can still hear my grandma asking me “Was that nice?”

Two: Never Mess With Anyone’s Family or Money. In one of our business ventures we weren’t making a profit. We made enough to make sure our employees could get paid but not really us. This was a struggle. Knowing that one day this wouldn’t be a challenge we continued to push forward. We also knew if you treated people the way you would like to be treated, most of them would do the same, so we were great to our employees. Needing to leave the store early one night, we asked one of our people if she could close up for us. “Sure, no problem,” she said. Well the next day we get to the store and find out she had sex in our back room and cleaned our petty cash to order food. We left her alone for what should have been 15 minutes and she was there for hours doing us wrong. Needless to say, she was fired. We didn’t really have the money to pay her to stay longer, but we sacrificed and took from our family to make sure she had what she needed, only to have her “screw” us over. All I could think was, “You took from my family.” I had to refer to rule one in order to not call her out of her name and stick to the facts.

Three: Always be Positive, Uplifting and Encouraging. I guess this kind of goes with rule one, but I think it deserves its own rule. We never know what someone is going through, so to say something positive, uplifting or encouraging to them could really change their day. But not only to others, but also ourselves. When my kids were little, and probably still now, if they said anything mean about themselves or their sibling I would make them say 3 nice things. I know for all the negative that we hear it takes a lot more positive to undo the negative. So if you are like I was, saying things are negative about yourself, you need to say at least 3 positives about yourself to overcome that. What you say to yourself can be even more damaging than what that bully in your life would say. It’s ok to say you are amazing, you are an overcomer, you are going to kick butt in this new business (even if others say you can’t, show them you can). You do not need to believe what others, or even you, have said in the past. You can rewrite your own story. I have! (I’ll save that soap box for another day) However, today as you get to know me a little better, I hope I help you Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Inspirational · Uncategorized

T.M.I. Friday – My Hubby

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Good Morning Sunshines! “Let a wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.” ~ Martin Luther

T.M.I. Friday….Let me tell ya about my Hubby! He is my best friend and one of the strongest men I’ve ever known. We fell in love because of the common goals we had in life and our love for poker. It amazes me how he will say “I’m going to do ______”, and do it. His will power is amazing. I will get jealous because he has no problem giving up food or starting something new and sticking to it. Discipline is not something he lacks. I’m very attracted to his mind. I have been told that this is called sapiosexual. (A sapiosexual is someone who finds sexual stimulation from the way a person’s mind works. It means you literally are attracted to intelligence.) Yup, I find it very sexy!

One of the things I love most is his heart. He says he lacks empathy and there has been times where this has been shown, but with strangers. However when it comes to family and close friends I have seen him love unconditionally. One of my favorite things he does is, when I’m having a moment because I have given out so much he will speak words of affirmation over me. We call this “Good Stuff”. There are times when I will come up to him and say, “Babe, I need good stuff,” and he will speak back life into me. He will say things like, “You are an amazing wife, friend and mother. I love how you love on people.” Things like that. I am thankful that I have someone who will speak love into me, because the world does not always do that.

I still get butterflies when I know he’s on his way home, like when I knew he was on his way over to pick me up for a date. I still see fireworks every time we kiss and my knees go weak. When he holds my hand it calms me like nothing and no one could. We call our bed our island. When we are there nothing and no one can get to us. This is our safe place where we can have conversations, “pillow talk,” that might be hard to have, but in this safe place we have made life changing decisions. I am so thankful that I have my best friend to walk through life with. I get excited thinking about all the places we will go together and all the things we get to do together. I plan to live to be 101 and when we are looking back at our lives and still holding hands I will forever be grateful that I did it all with him. My hubby is some of the best Good In My Life.

 

family · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

I Am Thankful

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Good Morning Sunshines! “When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” ~ Willie Nelson

I am so thankful for another day. I have started writing this at least 5 times and deleted it because all I can think is I am so thankful for another day. Why am I so thankful? I am thankful for another day to try again. I am thankful for my family. I am thankful that I get to go spend some time with some amazing ladies today. I am thankful that I get to do laundry today. I am thankful that I can call my mom later and check on her. I am thankful that I learned from my mistakes of yesterday. I am thankful I woke up next my hubby. I am thankful for friendships that have turned into “family”. I am thankful I have a place to call home. I am thankful I live in Cali. I am thankful for my animals. I am thankful for social media. I am thankful that I have time for others. I am thankful for those quiet moments when I can just sit and appreciate all that I am thankful for. I am thankful for my daughters laugh. I am thankful when I get a call or text from my son. I am thankful for my granddaughter. I am thankful I have my husbands hand to hold. I am thankful I get to go workout today. I am thankful for my marriage. I am thankful for pillow talk with my hubby.

I could go on but I won’t. Most of the times we count our blessings when we just had something major happen, good or bad. I had neither of those things happen, I just woke up feeling so thankful. I couldn’t hold it in. Whatever happens today I will remember, I am thankful. I am thankful for you who is reading this. I am most thankful for all of us who are walking this walk together to Find The Good In Our Lives.

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

Don’t Wish It Away

dancing in the rainGood Morning Sunshines! “The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn the past, worry about the future or to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” ~ Buddha

Have you ever found yourself wishing for the next thing? When I was a child, I couldn’t wait to be a teenager . When I was a teen, I couldn’t wait to be out of high school. When I was single, I couldn’t wait to be married. When I had one child, I couldn’t wait for more. When I had to get up in the middle of the night to feed them, I couldn’t wait for them to sleep through the night. Now that I can look back on it, I believe I couldn’t wait for them to get older too. My heart sinks at the thought of how much time I waisted on wishing for the next thing and not enjoying the now.

I look at my family as they are growing up and are married, one with a baby, and wish I had that time back to sit on the floor and play with them instead of wishing they were older and could help me clean. I think about my friends who I don’t get to spend time with because we all have our own lives and some of us don’t live close by. I remember my grandma telling me to enjoy the moment because they will go by so fast. It is now that I truly understand this.

What am I trying to say? I challenge you to stop wishing away the day but instead embrace it. Take every part of your day and remember you will not get this day back. Go outside today and feel the sunshine on your face. If it’s raining, go outside and dance in the rain. Don’t worry about tomorrow or even the next hour, just be in the moment. Today, sit a little longer with a friend, hold your baby while they nap, call someone you miss. For those of you who enjoy your work, (that’s awesome) remember that. When it’s getting you frustrated and you want to throw in the towel, remember why you started doing what you are doing. Remind yourself of your why! Tomorrow is a new day and you may fail today at these things and wish you could be doing something else, and that’s ok. Keep trying every day till you can Find The Good In Your Life and in every moment.

family · gratitude · Inspirational · Uncategorized

T.M.I. Friday – Just Be Here

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Good Morning Sunshines! “It is hard to love yourself if you never spend time with yourself. Alone time is necessary.” ~ Izey Victoria Odiase

My heart is so full with the love from the response I received for “No More Hurt”. The part that touched my heart the most was how I got to hear from all of you. I received so many comments and private messages. I loved talking with you. That is why I write and want to help people. It was an opportunity to hear about the things you are going through and what you would like me to talk about. I really would like this to be an open dialog. One of the things that a few people mentioned was they loved TMI Fridays because they felt like they got to know me a little bit more so here is todays TMI….

I told y’all that my hubby and I are on an East Coast tour. One of the things we are doing while we are away is going to a conference. Well, from all the traveling we have been doing I became so swollen. I retain water like a camel. So today I stayed at our Air BnB while he went to the confrence and took a water pill. This was amazing. It’s not my house so I didn’t have to clean. We did the laundry yesterday. So the only thing I could do was relax. I drank tea, I read, I listened to podcasts, I wrote and I watched 3 romantic comedies all while laying/sitting in bed. Seriously, awesome. I loved doing this so much but felt like I should be doing something else.

Seriously, why is it so hard to enjoy “Me Time”? These are all my favorite things to do (just missing working out and baths). I made myself be in the moment. Every time I would start to think about two weeks from now when I’m back home and what needs to be done, I would stop myself and say “Be here now.” Learning to be in the moment is still something I struggle with but I am learning. Yes, we need to plan for tomorrow, but not worry about it. I decided that I needed some more practice so I’m taking another “Me day”, this time I’ll hit the gym and get some one-on-one time with the sunshine. What is your favorite way to take a “Me Day”? Whatever it is, I hope it helps you Find The Good In Your Life.