Tag: resolution
Hello Sunshines! “Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.” Meister EckhartAdjusting To The Dark
Good Morning Sunshines! “Just like our eyes, our hearts have a way of adjusting to the dark.” – Adam Stanley
It’s been a few weeks since I last wrote but I have been thinking about this for a while. I was telling my hubby one night as I was walking upstairs in the dark that I realized I closed my eyes until I got to the light switch in our room. I asked him if he did the same. He said no, that he can see in the dark. You can see in the dark? Then I started leaving my eyes open in the dark and my eyes would adjust after a few minutes. I knew this was a thing, but all of a sudden I had a revelation to other things in life.
Being in the dark and letting our eyes adjust is a metaphor for so many things. I was having coffee one morning with a young lady who said, “When you’ve been in the dark for so long, your eyes start to adjust.” I almost fell out of my seat. She had no idea I had been thinking about this blog, not even sure she reads my blogs. But here it was again, our eyes adjusting to the dark. I realized it was “US” lying to ourselves. It could be the smallest thing but we soon adjust. My morning routine got thrown out the window the last few weeks while I planned an event. I would still read my bible and pray but it was kind of rushed. I even missed a few days. I didn’t work out, I didn’t write, and it was becoming ok because I was doing “something important.” The truth is, I was adjusting. I had lied to myself saying I will get back my “normal” when the crazy is over, where in reality I should have kept my “normal” and adjusted everything else to go with my lifestyle. However, my eyes were adjusting to the dark, my new “normal,” and I didn’t even notice til now. How did I notice I was living in the dark and had just adjusted my eyes?
On the morning of the event I knew it was going to be a crazy day so I grabbed my journal, and as I read my Bible that morning I went to write down what I was reading and feeling and saw it had been 3 weeks that I hadn’t journaled. WHAT!?!? How did that happen? I knew right then I needed to throw on the light switch and get back to what I knew to be true and what my “normal” was. I still had crazy going on for a few more days and because I had let myself adjust to the dark, it was taking me a minute to adjust to the light. Think about it; when you have been in a movie and walk outside, your eyes had gotten so used to the dark, you throw your hand up to protect your eyes, you squint, you have to get used to what was your norm all over again. So this week, little by little, I have been readjusting to the light and getting back to my norm.
Have you started to accept things in your life as “normal” because you let your eyes adjust to the dark? It could be as simple as mine, or it could be like my past of an abusive marriage where I thought “normal” was the words that were spoken to me, or the addiction of my mother. Those things were my “normal” until someone showed me that I had been living in the dark and had adjusted my eyes to see what I wanted in the dark. I hope today you can readjust your eyes and start seeing in the light again and Find The Good In Your Life.
T.M.I. Friday – Me
Good Morning Sunshines! “I’m a big believer that your life is basically a sum of all the choices you make. The better your choices, the better the opportunity to lead a happy life.” ~Karen Salmansohn
T.M.I. Friday – Me. So the blog I wrote yesterday is not what I decided to publish today. In my “to be published” are 9 things that I’ve written lately and then changed my mind for whatever reason, deciding not hit the publish button. So, what am I going to talk about if it wasn’t that bit from yesterday…..
Three rules I try to live by….One: At an early age I remember my grandma telling me, “If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.” Little did I know she was quoting Thumper from Bambi. However, this rule has stuck with me most of my life. Did you know it’s possible to see something on social media and not reply to it? It is! You can scroll right on by. Trust me, I have written out my fair share of “I can’t believe you just said that” responses and then deleted them. Mainly because I can still hear my grandma asking me “Was that nice?”
Two: Never Mess With Anyone’s Family or Money. In one of our business ventures we weren’t making a profit. We made enough to make sure our employees could get paid but not really us. This was a struggle. Knowing that one day this wouldn’t be a challenge we continued to push forward. We also knew if you treated people the way you would like to be treated, most of them would do the same, so we were great to our employees. Needing to leave the store early one night, we asked one of our people if she could close up for us. “Sure, no problem,” she said. Well the next day we get to the store and find out she had sex in our back room and cleaned our petty cash to order food. We left her alone for what should have been 15 minutes and she was there for hours doing us wrong. Needless to say, she was fired. We didn’t really have the money to pay her to stay longer, but we sacrificed and took from our family to make sure she had what she needed, only to have her “screw” us over. All I could think was, “You took from my family.” I had to refer to rule one in order to not call her out of her name and stick to the facts.
Three: Always be Positive, Uplifting and Encouraging. I guess this kind of goes with rule one, but I think it deserves its own rule. We never know what someone is going through, so to say something positive, uplifting or encouraging to them could really change their day. But not only to others, but also ourselves. When my kids were little, and probably still now, if they said anything mean about themselves or their sibling I would make them say 3 nice things. I know for all the negative that we hear it takes a lot more positive to undo the negative. So if you are like I was, saying things are negative about yourself, you need to say at least 3 positives about yourself to overcome that. What you say to yourself can be even more damaging than what that bully in your life would say. It’s ok to say you are amazing, you are an overcomer, you are going to kick butt in this new business (even if others say you can’t, show them you can). You do not need to believe what others, or even you, have said in the past. You can rewrite your own story. I have! (I’ll save that soap box for another day) However, today as you get to know me a little better, I hope I help you Find The Good In Your Life.
What Are You Doing With Your Time?
Good Morning Sunshines! “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” ~ Steve Jobs
Time is no respecter of person. It doesn’t matter if you are rich or poor, you get the same amount. You can’t buy more time. You can’t borrow from tomorrow’s and you can’t take back what you “waisted” yesterday. No matter what happens or what family you are born into, you get the same 24 hours as everyone else. How are you using it?
This morning when Elon Musk or Warren Buffett woke up they were not granted more hours in their day because of how productive they were in the past. I do not know them, but something tells me they probably didn’t binge watch something on Netflix yesterday.
While I was researching how different people use their time I found a common denominator for those who are most productive and wealthy. It’s how they were using their time that really mattered. I don’t know about you, but I had always heard, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” or “Sleep is for broke people.” Actually, that is quite opposite of what I was reading and the podcast I watched. “They” (those who are where I want to be) said sleep was important. You can only make so many good decisions a day and without a good 6 to 8 hours of sleep a night you may make a costly mistake. Going to bed early so you can wake up early was actually recommended. The most productive hours in the day are first thing in the morning, if you use them right. So I listened to what they said and started using my morning time more wisely. I know I’ve talked about this before but I think it’s worth repeating. First thing in the morning, give to you. For me that looks like, reading my bible, praying, journaling, reading, writing my blog or working on my book and then working out. That is my first few hours of my day. I was feeling pretty good about how I was spending my mornings and my routine. Then things got a little trickier.
What did they do with the rest of their day? It looked like a lot of research, meetings, making decisions, returning emails (but only twice a day, that is important because you can get caught up answering emails every 5 minutes depending on what you do) giving back to the community, investing in people, teaching, learning. I got excited! Investing in people, that’s what I do! How were they doing that? One of the things that all these people said and had in common was they are always reading and learning from others so they can pour into others. Yes! They all spent at least an hour a day reading and learning from others. Even Warren Buffett said he still learns something new every day. The other thing that these people had in common was not only had they established a morning routine, they had a night routine. For some it was tuning out the world and reading and writing things they were thankful for that day. One thing they all said was before bed they would journal down their goals, and make a “To Do” list for the next day. This always kept their why in front of them and helped keep their dream alive.
For some people being a millionaire may not be your thing. I have a friend whose goal right now is to be the best mom and wife she can be. As she and I talked about all this for the past few weeks, she set goals on how she would do this and she saw a change in her house and family. She found there was less stress in the house. What had changed? She was taking the first and last part of the day for her and not feeling guilty that she needed a moment. She said becoming a morning person was a huge change for her, but she found that it made a difference when she started they day off right. Setting a routine for her kids and herself helped make things run smoother. She says she is able to be a better wife because she isn’t feeling so stressed, and when her husband comes home she is able to enjoy that time with him and not feel like she needs to be rescued from the chaos that was her life.
My point, time is precious. How are you using it? Do you need help on how to manage your time? I’m here to help you, if you need it. We are all given the same amount. Are you going to use it to help you Find The Good In Your Life?
Don’t Wish It Away
Good Morning Sunshines! “The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn the past, worry about the future or to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” ~ Buddha
Have you ever found yourself wishing for the next thing? When I was a child, I couldn’t wait to be a teenager . When I was a teen, I couldn’t wait to be out of high school. When I was single, I couldn’t wait to be married. When I had one child, I couldn’t wait for more. When I had to get up in the middle of the night to feed them, I couldn’t wait for them to sleep through the night. Now that I can look back on it, I believe I couldn’t wait for them to get older too. My heart sinks at the thought of how much time I waisted on wishing for the next thing and not enjoying the now.
I look at my family as they are growing up and are married, one with a baby, and wish I had that time back to sit on the floor and play with them instead of wishing they were older and could help me clean. I think about my friends who I don’t get to spend time with because we all have our own lives and some of us don’t live close by. I remember my grandma telling me to enjoy the moment because they will go by so fast. It is now that I truly understand this.
What am I trying to say? I challenge you to stop wishing away the day but instead embrace it. Take every part of your day and remember you will not get this day back. Go outside today and feel the sunshine on your face. If it’s raining, go outside and dance in the rain. Don’t worry about tomorrow or even the next hour, just be in the moment. Today, sit a little longer with a friend, hold your baby while they nap, call someone you miss. For those of you who enjoy your work, (that’s awesome) remember that. When it’s getting you frustrated and you want to throw in the towel, remember why you started doing what you are doing. Remind yourself of your why! Tomorrow is a new day and you may fail today at these things and wish you could be doing something else, and that’s ok. Keep trying every day till you can Find The Good In Your Life and in every moment.
Are You The CEO Of Your Own Life?
Good Morning Sunshines! “The pen that writes your life story must be held in your own hand.” ~ Irene C Kassorla
Are you the CEO of your own life? One of my favorite movies is The Holiday. In this movie one of the actresses is going through some things and someone asked her, “Why are you not being the leading lady in your own life?” This struck a chord with me. I was not the lead in my own life. I allowed everyone and everything else to take precedence over me. I knew something had to change. There were so many things I wanted to do for myself but I made everyone else the priority. I knew I had to find a way to change it.
Change, UGH! I swear it should be a four letter word. I wanted it, I needed it. I had to have it. How was I going to get it? Every morning I had to fight a war against myself to get up and show up. If I could do this for a job, why couldn’t I do it for me? Every day I fight against procrastination, laziness, fear, doubt, so I can become the person I want to be. I get up earlier so I can do the things I want for me, before I do for others. I needed to take control of my life and the only way I could was first thing in the morning before the rest of the world demanded from me. It’s ok if you’re working for someone else, the question is, did you do for you before you did for them?
Every night before I go to bed, I look in the mirror and ask myself, “Were you the CEO of your own life today?” Most days I say “Yes!” I am proud of who I am becoming because I chose to take control of my life. I decided that making healthy habits for myself and not allowing others to dictate my life and happiness made me a better person not just for me but for everyone I encountered. Today I want you to ask yourself, “Am I the CEO of my own life?” If the answer is no, let’s find a way to change it so you can get The Good In Your Life.
Don’t Let Your Mind Whisper Fear Into Your Heart
Good Morning Sunshines! “Stay focused, go after your dreams and keep moving toward your goals.” ~ LL Cool J
I can talk my self out of anything. I’ll put something in my cart but by the time I get to the checkout I have decided not to get it, even though my husband will tell me to buy it. I am the queen at rationalizing why I don’t need something. Have you ever been so excited about something you want to do, a new goal, but then you start to find ways why it won’t work instead of why it will work? In the past I have been so excited about a project that I’m about to take on and the next thing I know I’m no longer excited about it. I will tell myself, “I’m going to work out at least 3 to 5 times a week. Everyone knows you never miss a Monday. Well, actually, I can’t on Mondays because I’m so tired from Sunday, and I can’t go Tuesdays because I have an early meeting…” Next thing you know you’re paying for a gym membership you don’t actually use. My favorite thing I have talked myself out of in the past is eating healthy. “Well it’s the holidays, it’s this person’s birthday, got to eat cake. I don’t want to answer questions about why I decided to become a vegetarian so I’ll just eat meat to keep everyone off my back from telling me why it’s a bad idea, even though I feel it’s best for me.” I would talk myself out of things out of fear of failing.
I decided not to talk myself out of things anymore. How was I going to do this, when I am the Queen of it? In the beginning, I found that if I wrote out a Pro and Con list, that helped. If I found someone to be accountable to, that helped me. Sometimes it also helped that other person because you don’t want to let them down. However, my friends knew I was a pushover when it came to working out so I had to pay a trainer. You don’t mess with my money, I’ll be there! But when it came to my writing or a new business opportunity, I found talking to that one person I knew who could help me remember even when I’m not “feeling it” was the best thing for me. I’m thankful that for me that’s my hubby. He helps me remember the excitement I had about something. However, the one thing that I found that works 100% of the time is this… just to do it. When it comes down to it, I am only responsible for myself, and if I want something bad enough, nothing and nobody can talk me out of it, including myself. I have to remind myself, “Don’t let your mind whisper fear into your heart.” When I want something bad enough, nothing will stop me. The next time you start to hear “you can’t do that” or “it’ll never work,” ask yourself, “Is that your heart or your mind?” Listen to your heart. Stop being rational about everything and get passionate about YOU! Let’s start having passion about our life. I promise this will help you to Find The Good In Your Life.
T.M.I. Friday – Just Be Here
Good Morning Sunshines! “It is hard to love yourself if you never spend time with yourself. Alone time is necessary.” ~ Izey Victoria Odiase
My heart is so full with the love from the response I received for “No More Hurt”. The part that touched my heart the most was how I got to hear from all of you. I received so many comments and private messages. I loved talking with you. That is why I write and want to help people. It was an opportunity to hear about the things you are going through and what you would like me to talk about. I really would like this to be an open dialog. One of the things that a few people mentioned was they loved TMI Fridays because they felt like they got to know me a little bit more so here is todays TMI….
I told y’all that my hubby and I are on an East Coast tour. One of the things we are doing while we are away is going to a conference. Well, from all the traveling we have been doing I became so swollen. I retain water like a camel. So today I stayed at our Air BnB while he went to the confrence and took a water pill. This was amazing. It’s not my house so I didn’t have to clean. We did the laundry yesterday. So the only thing I could do was relax. I drank tea, I read, I listened to podcasts, I wrote and I watched 3 romantic comedies all while laying/sitting in bed. Seriously, awesome. I loved doing this so much but felt like I should be doing something else.
Seriously, why is it so hard to enjoy “Me Time”? These are all my favorite things to do (just missing working out and baths). I made myself be in the moment. Every time I would start to think about two weeks from now when I’m back home and what needs to be done, I would stop myself and say “Be here now.” Learning to be in the moment is still something I struggle with but I am learning. Yes, we need to plan for tomorrow, but not worry about it. I decided that I needed some more practice so I’m taking another “Me day”, this time I’ll hit the gym and get some one-on-one time with the sunshine. What is your favorite way to take a “Me Day”? Whatever it is, I hope it helps you Find The Good In Your Life.
TMI Friday – Grandma – International Women’s Day
Good Morning Sunshines! “She made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible. She walked with the Universe on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of wings.” ―Ariana Dancu
It’s TMI Friday! Yesterday was International Women’s Day so I wanted to talk about the most amazing woman I’ve ever known, my grandma. My grandma was/is my hero. She taught me so much. Grandma was a godly woman who always made time for the word. She started and ended each day in prayer. She never raised her voice. If she got mad she would start talking really low so you had to concentrate on what she was saying. It was worse than someone yelling. I could never get anything past her. If I called “just to say hi”, she always knew exactly what was going on before I even told her. My grandma was a farmer’s wife, she had six kids, and many grandkids. Grandma never had favorites. I would joke and tell her “it’s ok to say I’m your favorite.” She would let me know her favorite was whoever needed her most at that time. She always made you feel like you were the most important person when she talked to you. She really listened.
My grandma had gotten a job out of the house for a few years and worked in an arcade. Yes, a video game arcade! If you would have met her at first you would have thought this was strange. However, after 5 minutes of watching her around all the young people who came through you would know she was right where she was supposed to be. They loved her! Grandma would call kids out on their baggy pants, wild looks, bad attitudes, and always get to the root of the issues. I remember one day going to work with her and a group of kids came in being loud and disrespectful. Grandma walked up to them and told them to watch their language, and pull up their pants because she had no desire to see their behinds. One of the kids got mouthy and grandma started talking real low. I’m not sure what she said, but the next thing I know, their pants are pulled up and they are saying “Yes Mama.” She walked back up to her seat, grabbed some quarters, gave them each a few, and went and played Lady Bug, her favorite game. Everyone loved Grandma.
Grandma passed away a few years ago on, February 14, 2011. This seemed so fitting for her. I was so sad and just wanted to lay in bed all day and cry. However, I could hear my grandma saying “How long are you going to cry?’ (Read my post, Finding the Good, to understand that a little better) I cried for a while and then knew it was going to be ok. For me, knowing she was spending Valentines with her first love was so fitting. I miss her every day. When my time comes I hope I am half as loved and respected as she was. Grandma was such an amazing example of love, never judging. She met you where you were at. I am so thankful for her and the amazing woman she was. I hope you have an amazing woman in your life who can help you Find The Good.
I Choose Today
Good Morning Sunshines! “Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.” ~ Author Unknown
The choices you make today will determine where you are tomorrow. I can not stress enough how today needs to be the day you make those changes. Think about the day you first thought about making a change. Where would you be now if you would have followed through?
Today is the day! Today is the day you take charge of your own life. Today is the day you stop believing the lies that were spoken over you. Today is the day you say no more! Today is the day you stop being a victim and start becoming victorious. Today is the day you choose happiness and joy. Today is the day you start believing in your self. Today is the day you start appreciating every day as a gift and stop taking life for granted. Today is the day you start working toward your goals and dreams.
Today I am making some changes that I wish I would have made a few years ago. For me, I have taken my health for granted and I can’t do it anymore. What is it that you need to take hold of today and say, “No More!”. I challenge you today to look at your life and say, “I’m ready to make a change and I will Find The Good In My Choices!”
Put it down!
Good Morning Sunshines! “So that’s the telephone? They ring, and you run.” ~Edgar Degas
Microwave Society ~The mindset of wanting (and nearly getting) everything “RIGHT NOW”. Technology has made gathering or sending information extremely fast and we’ve begun to think that everything in life should be available on demand.
One night my hubby and I were out to dinner and at the table across the way we saw a couple sitting together. He was reading a paper, she was sitting waiting for conversation. I told Matt, “I never want to be like that.” Let’s fast forward 12 years…. I’m sitting at table with a friend yesterday and as we are talking they get a text. I am literally in the middle of game planning with them about something we are working on and they pick up their phone and start to read their text. A few things hit me in my gut at this time….
- Am I not worthy of your time?
- Is there something else you’d rather be doing?
- You are so rude because it was a group text, I got it too but didn’t stop to read it!
- Maybe we should talk business at another time when you can focus on our conversation.
- Would you do this if you were talking to someone else?
I know I have been guilty of this myself from time to time when sitting with a friend, but I vowed right then to never do that again. I never carry a purse so the phone does end up on the table and I do let people know if I am expecting an important call or something that is time sensitive that I will need to address as soon as it comes in. However, I have never in the middle of a meeting picked up my phone. I say all that to say, where did our manners go? Giving someone our full attention should not be that hard. I feel that we have gotten so comfortable with being a microwave society that we don’t even realize how rude we have become. I am going to make it a point to not do this anymore. We went years without cell phones and the world did not fall apart because we didn’t answer a phone call, text, email, right away. I think we would be less stressed out if we start setting boundaries to our phones/life. We need to put more focus on human interaction and less into technology, at least when we are sitting with people. I know I want to make that person who is speaking to me feel like they are important and I value their time. I challenge you to put down the phone, talk to someone and Find The Good In Genuine Interaction.
Boss vs Leader
Good Morning Sunshines! “People ask the difference between a leader and a boss. The leader leads, and the boss drives.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt
I was at a local coffee shop the other day and was listening to the conversation at the next table as they complained about their new boss. One of the girls was a manager at the company and the other was being trained for another store. However, the training wasn’t going well because “the boss” didn’t know how to train/teach, she was a micromanager. Instead of equipping these young ladies with the skills they needed to learn in order to lead, she preferred to give them tasks that she needed to make sure were being completed. This made me cringe. I know people like this. At one point I may have even been that boss. It usually comes from a place of not wanting others to succeed, or worried they will take your place, when actually what will happen is people will see your ability to have people follow you and learn from you and you will be given praise for that.
Through the years I have learned that teaching someone to take your job opens you up for promotion. Let’s break it down even more simply, we teach our kids how to do laundry, do dishes, vacuum the house, etc. Yes, we will continue to make sure for some time they are doing these properly, but one day you no longer have to micromanage them. They have learned this skill and one day will be able to pass the knowledge on. As a boss/leader it is the same thing. Once you can let go and allow others to take ownership of their job/responsibilities, it then opens you up to do other things. If you are in any type of leadership role, I challenge you to teach people instead of just being a micromanager. Allow for mistakes and use those as teachable moments. I know the people you work with will then Find The Good In You.
TMI Friday-Birthday
Good Morning Sunshines! While I was on my hiatus of writing and planning my daughter’s wedding, I received a few DM’s (direct messages) from random people letting me know they missed me writing and really liked my TMI Fridays. Thank you to those who reached out to check on me and letting me know you enjoy my almost daily post.
Happy TMI Friday! Today’s post is all about why I love my birthday. March 18 is my birthday and this year I will be 47. I am very ok with my age and love to celebrate. Think about it, what is the alternative? If you don’t have a birthday you are no longer here. I have always loved my birthday and other people’s birthdays. I love to celebrate people. For me, birthdays mean breakfast in bed, gifts, and being loved on by your friends and family. That happens for anyone in my family and close friends, not just me. My hubby knows I love my birthday and has let me turn it into a birthday month. However, I have tried to do something different this year and that’s celebrate every day.
I really want to celebrate life and not take advantage of it. Every day so far this year I have done something small just to celebrate me/life. I found that the days were running together, then the weeks, months, and even years. I needed to slow things down. A lot of the times my moment of just me is sitting outside with the dogs, feeling the sun and listening to music that makes me feel happy to be alive. The other day I listened to a whole album. I have no idea the last time I did that. For me, celebrating me/life isn’t about a party, it’s about being thankful that I am still here and enjoying every moment of it. Feeling the aches and pains of my muscles from my workout makes me happy. Things that use to bother me, now make me happy. Getting a phone call from a family member or friend makes me smile. I used to wish people would just text, but slowing down to talk to someone is so much better. One day we wont be able to talk anymore and I never want to miss that chance. Starting today, I hope you can start celebrating you/life daily and Find The Good In It.
Mask
Good Morning Sunshines! “How long will it take before people stop being polite and start getting real?” – Real World
What kind of mask do you wear? We all have them; sometimes we have several, depending on who we are with. For years I wore a mask of a happy marriage. We would fight, a lot of the time it was physical. So, when I told people I was getting a divorce, no one understood. I was lying to people for years to protect myself and him. I wore a mask as a teen to hide myself from almost everyone. My mom had walked out on me when I was 15 because she needed to get help for her drug addiction, leaving me to live on my own. The only person who knew was my boyfriend and eventually his mom. It wasn’t till I was 17, almost 18, that the state found out and sent me to go live with my dad. It’s crazy the life we can live behind these masks.
As I was talking to a group of people the other day about the masks we wear, someone said something that struck a nerve with me. “What am I doing that people aren’t comfortable enough to take down their mask?” I really try not to wear a mask anymore and be transparent with people. I want people to know who I am. I also want to be able to pour into people and love on them so they feel comfortable taking down their mask. I challenge you to look at your mask and the people you surround yourself with and see who and where you can take down your mask around. Find people who will except you and help you Find The Good In Your Life.
Who Are You?
Good Morning Sunshines! I’m back! My daughter is married! The wedding was amazing and I have recovered. I’m looking forward to talking with all of you again.
We are all created to be individuals. So why do we compare ourselves to others? How boring would the world be if we all looked and acted the same? In my 20’s and early 30’s I really did compare myself a lot to my friends, the women I’d pass on the street, and even people I saw in the movies. I was never satisfied with my clothing size, the “things” I could do (because I wanted to be gifted or talented like others) even my personality. I wished I was different. I have a loud laugh and I’m very animated. I tried not to overdo it around most people, worried they won’t accept me for who I really am.
I’m not sure when the mindset change was, but I do remember reading…..
“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” ~ Dr. Seuss
Such wise words! I was about 35 when I decided I would live my life out loud. I have a lot to say. I really have gone through a lot and I believe our tests are our testimonies, so I decided I would start liking those things I wanted to change. I started caring less and less about other people’s opinion about what I was doing in my life. I remember the first time I put down a book I had started reading and said to my self, “I am not enjoying this, I’m not going to read it.” That was huge for me. I have walked out of movies, left restaurants and even stopped hanging around people who were no longer bringing happiness to my life. I no longer had the need for everyone’s approval because I now had my own. I know for some this can be hard in a world of “likes” and “friends”. My hope for you today is that you will, Find The Good In You.
Rare and Beautiful Treasures
Good Morning Sunshine! “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” ~Mignon McLaughlin
Yesterday was my husband and my half-year anniversary. Everyday it amazes me how much more I really do love him. Yesterday was a busy day. He worked all day, I did wedding stuff for my daughter, and then we had an appointment. We came home ate and just sat around the table talking. When the kids got home they joined us. We sat around the table just talking and laughing and it truly filled my heart with so much joy. It reminded me of something I had read earlier. I had journaled something after reading my devotional and this is what it said…..
This morning in my devotional I was reading something I’ve read so many times before but until today I never realized how it applies to me and my marriage. I always wonder if others laugh like our family does? Are they as excited as we are to see each other? Do they sit and talk just to know and understand what is happening in their lives and how they feel? I read…
Proverbs 24:3-4; By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.
Our treasures are those moments of laughter and tears as we sit and talk and understand each other. Communication. It’s so important in all relationships. Today, I’d like to challenge you to Find The Good In Your Home.
Mondays!
Good Morning Sunshines! “Mondays are tough for those people who don’t know how to spend them cheerfully. Get up and have fun today!” ~ unanimous
Have you ever woken up grumpy and not known why and said, “No one better mess with me today.”? I think we have all had those days. I know Mondays were the worst days for my employees. I’ve had a case of the Mondays before myself. It would usually start on Sunday night. I would start thinking about the week ahead and everything I needed to get done. It was only 3 pm on Sunday but I was already in the next week and no longer enjoying my weekend, my family time. Then come Monday I was moody and did not want to be there. UGH!!! Something needed to change.
I had read a book where the person said to challenge yourself to not have a bad day. Keep telling yourself it’s not a bad day, and to be positive. This took some training but I really did learn how to do this. I would start to get in a “Monday Funk” and I would have to stop myself and think of positive things. I would literally make myself say three positive things right there and then. When you are thinking of the blessings in your life it’s hard to think about the negative.
These days, Mondays are my favorite day of the week. I try to have it as a day I look forward to by meeting a girlfriend for coffee, going to the gym, and prepping for the rest of the week. I very rarely have bad days anymore. I will stop and realize I am not having a bad day, I am having a bad moment. That moment in my day will not be my full day, it is just something that’s happening right now that I will need to move past. Don’t let the bad moments dictate your day. Find The Good In Your Day.
The Blessing Is In The Journey
Good Morning Sunshines! “Dance. Smile. Giggle. Marvel. TRUST. HOPE. LOVE. WISH. BELIEVE. Most of all, enjoy every moment of the journey, and appreciate where you are at this moment instead of always focusing on how far you have to go.” ~ Mandy Hale
Do you remember your wedding day? Matt and I were standing at the unity candle and our pastor was singing a song and I said to Matt, “We should stop and really remember this moment because it’s all going so fast.” There were few other times that day that we took each others hands and said let’s stop and remember. I was told that your wedding day will be such a blur you won’t remember anything. I didn’t want that to happen. We have now been married for 11 1/2 years and can still remember those moments. There are days we will stop and just sit with each other and talk about where we are and what is going on. Our marriage is a journey we are on together, but the blessings are in the everyday life we are making together. I love when I’m cooking or doing something in the kitchen and Matt will come in and grab me and start dancing with me, even when I have my big yellow rubber gloves on from washing dishes. I love being in his arms and enjoying that memory we are making. We don’t do a lot of family dinners anymore because the kids are grown, but when we do get a moment to sit around the table together we are always laughing. I love that we can just sit and enjoy each other knowing that we may not do this for a few more weeks or months, but we know that this moment is a blessing.
I wasn’t always like this. I was once very task driven, and I will talk about that another day. But right now, today, I want you to stop and think about the blessings you have in your life. You may not enjoy your job, but if you lost your job and couldn’t get work for 6 months to a year and got the same job back, you’d probably feel very thankful for it. We have the tools to make every day a blessing, and if we just stop long enough to think about it, you can Find The Good In Your Life.
Letting Go
I had a little challenge getting the post out this morning due to a sinus issue and a Benadryl…..But, it’s never too late to have a good day.
Good Morning Sunshines! “Why should you live in the past when the present already has everything that you need to start a new beginning?” ~ Edmond Mbiaka
Growing up in the 70’s and 80’s is much different than it is now. I remember the night a door-to-door salesman knocked on our door and told us about cassette tapes. He came in and my mom made coffee and got out a snack and we all sat in the living room playing with this new thing. He showed us how we could record and play it back. We talked into it and played it back. Hearing our own voices being played back was very strange. We bought a tape player and a six-pack of cassette tapes. I remember my step-brothers playing tricks on each other with it, whispering things into the recorder and hiding it under beds or in closets. In the 80’s my friends and I would sit and wait for that new song to come out so we could record it and make the perfect mixed tape. Who didn’t love getting a mixed tape? These days my kids make playlists and don’t have to hope the DJ doesn’t talk through the first part of the song.
There are so many memories that shape us into who we are today, good or bad. Sometimes we hold onto these things so much it will paralyze us in our present. It won’t allow us to move forward into what we are meant to be doing. I know it can be hard to let go of the past. Whether it’s living in the “glory days” of our youth or the pain that haunts our dreams/nightmares. There are days where I have to remind myself that I am not that little girl who was abandoned and not everyone will leave me. That I am loved. Yes, even I have insecurities, but I look at them differently now. I was once told, “You can never have a better past, but you can make a better future.” That is what I did with all the pain and hurt of the past. I decided to Find The Good In My Life. What do you need to let go of so you can have the future you deserve?
Where Did The Time Go
Good Morning Sunshines! “Know the true value of time; snatch, seize and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination: never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.” ~ Philip Stanhope 4th Earl of Chesterfield
We all get the same amount of time each day, how we spend it is different. There are 24 hours in a day, 1,440 minutes in a day, and 86,400 seconds in that day. I have waisted a lot of these seconds, minutes, and hours not doing things I said I would. I have not gone and visited loved ones and/or called thinking I would still have tomorrow. But tomorrow didn’t come. I didn’t work out because I thought tomorrow will be a better day, but tomorrow was busier than the day before. Somehow, slowly, day after day turned into a week, month and then years. Sometimes I look in the mirror and see where time has gone. My hair is greying, and I have little lines around my eyes. But I never really notice it till I see my mom. She lives in Puerto Rico and it’s been 2 years since I last saw her. Yesterday she was finally able to send me a picture and I noticed how much older she looked from the last time I saw her. She’s been through a lot in her life, but the last few months after hurricane Maria has really put a lot on her. I cried seeing her. She is 4 feet 8 inches and 90 pounds. She looks tiny and frail, but she is a tough cookie. But as I looked at the picture I thought about how over the last several months, as Puerto Rico has been going through the aftermath of Hurricane Maria, our lives kept going.
I love quality time with my family and friends. I love just sitting and talking, not looking at our phones, but rather engaging in conversation. I have a friend I meet with on Mondays for a few hours and time always seems to go so fast. There never seems to be enough when we want it most, but seems to go slow when we are waiting for something to happen. I look at time a little differently these days. I am semi-retired and I get to do most things on my time. But I found that I don’t spend it in front of the tv anymore like I used to when I got off work. (Also it broke and we never got a new one.) I spend it doing the things I wish I could have before. I also realized I could have done those things before, but I just didn’t make them a priority. I am making my life and my time a priority now because I know I can never get it back. I don’t want you to look back like I did and wonder where the time has gone. Make those calls to your bestie, go visit grandma, date your significant other and Find The Good in every second of every day.
No Rainbows Without Rain
Good Morning Sunshines! “Everybody wants happiness. Nobody wants pain. But you can’t have a rainbow without the rain.” I read this once and remember it every now and again when it’s raining, like today. I think back on my life and some of the most painful things I ever went through and how, afterward, I was able to appreciate life just a little more. We rarely ever think about what positive will come from an event when we are going through something like a cancer or the loss of a loved one.
I am a breast cancer survivor and so thankful every day. I wasn’t always like that. I remember the day my thinking shifted. I was 29 about to turn 30 in a few days when I was told that I would have surgery a few weeks later. I called my best friends and they came and rallied around me. Saying all the things they are supposed to say, “You’ll be ok”, “We are here for you”, “We are praying for you”, “We love you.” I was so glad they were there. For my 30th birthday we got a hotel room at the beach (my happy place) and spent the weekend together talking about all the shenanigans we got into as teenagers and looking at old pictures and reading some of the notes we had that we passed to each other in the hall ways. The morning of my 30th I woke up early and one of my besties and I slipped out of the room to go watch the sun rise. We sat on the bench holding hands not saying a word. I remember praying and just wanting everything to be ok, when I felt a peace come over me that I will never be able to explain. It was at that moment I knew I must speak life into myself. No more negative “What If” stuff but “I will be ok”. I remembered looking at my friend and telling her, “Everything really will be ok.” She agreed with me but I don’t know that she fully understood what I meant at that moment. As the months followed, if anyone would say anything negative around me, I would shut them down, and that’s when she found out exactly what I meant. I am about to go on 16 years cancer free in a few months and that moment of rain changed my life. I still had bad moments, but how I chose to handle them were all different from the past. Even the darkest day I would try my best to find good. I want to ask you, if you are going through some rain right now, try and Find The Good In Your Life.
It’s Ok To Fail
Good Morning Sunshines! “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”~ Henry Ford. “You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your time, or any of your space.” ~ Johnny Cash. “I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.” ~ Michael Jordan. “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” ~ Thomas Edison. These are some of my favorite quotes about failing.
We all fail at something in life. For some, like me, it’s been more than a few. As my granddaughter was learning to walk, we were all cheering her on as she learned to stand, then take the first step, then another and another till she was cruising around the room. But what if she decided it was too hard and when she fell she didn’t get back up to try again? What if we did that? Their would be grown folk crawling around the world instead of walking because we gave up. How many things in life are you still crawling around because you are afraid to try walking again? That dream you put down because it seemed too big. The goals you set in 2017 that didn’t happen but you know are still calling your name. For my granddaughter she had people cheering her on, even when she fell down. Do you have people ready to cheer you on even when you fall? In 2018, find the people who are going to cheer you on and help you Find The Good In Your Life.
The Hard Sell
Good Morning Sunshines! A positive mind finds opportunity in everything, while a negative mind finds fault in everything. Do you have those people in your life who like to poke holes in your excitement? They find fault and tell you why something won’t work when you are really excited about something? These people, the “Dream Stealers”, make me sad. Mostly because they once had a dream and they allowed someone to steal their dream. Most of the time I stay away from these people. However, when I need them most in my life is when I need to sell something. What do I mean by that? If I have a new business idea or just a pitch I need to make and I need to make sure I can sell this idea to the bank, a corporation, or just pitching a new idea to my hubby, I call on these people. I have my whole idea laid out including the comebacks I think they may come with. I am ready for them to find fault so that I can make my pitch to people who will hopefully be excited about my next idea. Sometimes we need the hard sell.
While I am one to tell you to guard yourself from negative people and “Dream Stealers”, you can always Find The Good, even in these types of people.
The Flooded Kitchen
Good Morning Sunshines! It’s Saturday! I was lazy this morning and stayed in bed watching the sunrise above the mountains not wanting to get up, but thinking about my “To Do” list. Next week I am throwing my daughter a bridal shower, and in a few weeks she will be getting married. It’s funny how happy occasions can cause stress. I’ve always enjoyed throwing parties and having people over for dinner but it used to stress me out. I had to take a step back and think about what is causing the stress? Is it not having everything planned out? The people who didn’t RSVP? Will I have enough food? Then I realized it was me, I was stressing me out because I wanted everything perfect. LOL!!!! It’ll never happen. Seriously, every year I throw a big Christmas party and right before people are due to arrive something happens. One year my kitchen flooded and we had just finished cleaning up the floor and throwing the towels in the washing machine when the first guest arrived. We laughed, opened the door and went on with the party. No one had any idea what had happened. We ended up sharing later with some that stayed late and they said they would have never known, and if it was them, they would have put a sign on the front door saying “Party Canceled”.
So I decided that I will enjoy planning, and for the most part I have. I have my moments of “What If’s?” We can always plan, just like in everyday life we make plans, but we need to learn to be flexible when things happen and make changes. I planned on being at the gym this morning before the sun was up but decided to be flexible and watch the sunrise and enjoy being able to take things slow today. That extra bed time will definitely help me Find The Good In My Life today.
Successful Day, Successful Life
Good Morning Sunshines! “Instead of trying to live a successful life, aim to live a successful day.” – Jessica O Matthews. WOW! I heard her say this on a podcast and it stopped me in my tracks. That is so true. Yes, of course we want to have a successful life, but if we focused on making each day what it could be we wouldn’t have to worry so much about the end result… it would work itself out.
My grandparents were farmers and toward the end of my grandpa’s life I asked him if he would do anything different. He said that every day he did his job and he did it well. At night he made peace with the man upstairs, just in case he didn’t wake back up. He went to bed knowing he did all he could have done for that day. He gave every day everything he had.
That’s what I want to do. I want to make sure every day is a successful day so I can have a successful life. We don’t have to be millionaires or Mother Teresa to make a difference. We can change things in our every day life. Find The Good In Your Life one day at a time.
Influencing The Why
Good Morning! Growing up I remember my mom and dad would tell me to watch out for who I was hanging out with. Onlookers would assume I was like them even if I wasn’t. I was lucky to make amazing friends at 12 and keep them for over 30 years. However, as I had kids, I would tell them the same thing. It wasn’t until I was an adult and going into business that I understood why hanging around the right people mattered. Though I still have these life long friends, I got married, had kids before they did, and moved away. My circle of influence changed as my career and goals changed. Just a few months ago my family and I were sitting at a table with people I never thought I would be in the same room with. My son-in-law tweeted that evening that his life was so weird from where he thought he would be. If he only knew I was feeling the same way. The conversations for these multi millionaires wasn’t just about cars and houses it was about “The Why”. Why they do what they do and who they were looking to help in the new year and how they could help others do the same. My dreams and goals were expanded that night. As I sat at the table I realized that I would never have had this conversation with my best friends. Not because we didn’t want to help others, but because our lives had gone in different directions and these goals were not theirs. My husband stretches me every day with his vision and what he/we will do next. One of my favorite quotes is by Mark Twain, “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that,but the really great make you feel that you too can become great. When you are seeking to bring big plans to fruition it is important with whom you regularly associate. Hang out with friends who are like-minded and who are also designing purpose filled lives. Similarly be that kind of friend for your friends. ”
I have decided that in 2018 I want to be that friend to others. I want to help them/you achieve their/your dreams and visions. I want to talk about your why, because without a why the results don’t last. I’m excited to hear from you so we can Find The Good In Your Life.
Why Wait?
Good Morning Sunshine! Today is January 3, 2018. How are you doing with all those goals you set for yourself? Did you miss the gym already and say, “Never mind”? Did you eat something you said you weren’t going to have? Did you not get up and read or write like you said you would? Guess what! It’s ok! Today will be that day that you do that thing you said you would. I don’t understand why we continue to beat ourselves up when we are given a new opportunity every moment of the day. Right here, right now, you can decide that things are going to be different. You will pack your gym clothes so you can go right after work. You will pack your lunch so you can eat healthy, and save money, bonus! You will bring that book and read during your break. Today is the day you stand up for yourself and no longer allow others to make you feel less than, because you are amazing. You don’t need a date or time to make a change. You just say “Right here, right now, things are going to be different.” Just like that, they can be. Don’t listen to those who tell you that you aren’t going to change. Those who would say, “That’s just who you are.” No one knows you like you. I believe in you.
In August, 2017 I had just gotten out of the hospital for some health issues and decided it was time for a change. I said, “Today is the day!” I did not wait until January to start going to the gym, or eating healthier. I drew that line and made that choice. I found the good out of that bad situation. We can decide to Find The Good In Our Lives today!
No Email… More Opportunity
I once read this story about a guy who was down to his last $6 dollars who had applied for a job as a stock boy. They offered him the job and told him they would email him the rest of the application. He let them know he did not have an email. They then informed him he was not eligible for the job. With the last six dollars he had, he went and bought some produce and turned around and sold it. He ended up doubling his money! Every day he did this, eventually becoming able to get a produce stand. This produce stand turned into a small store and eventually into a larger store. One day he called his insurance company looking for life insurance. They told him they would email over the information. He let them know he did not have an email. They said to him, “Do you know how much bigger you could be with an email? Do you know what you could be?” He laughed and said, “Yes, a stock boy.”This gentlemen took what he had and bettered his circumstance. Where you are may not be where you want to be right now, but you know that 2018 is going to be different. What do you have that you can use to better your circumstance? How can you find the good in your life?
Finding The Good
Mr. Rogers said when he was little and saw something bad his mom would tell him to find the good. That’s what I do. I find the good in everyday life. Not just my life but everyone’s. I am their/your cheerleader. My kids and some friends have found this annoying at times but it’s one of the reasons my hubby fell in love with me and also why they always come and ask me for advice or help. I know there are times we need to be just in that moment and feel the pain, hurt and disappointment of what is going on. I understand this all too well. When I was younger my grandma would ask me how long I was going to be sad, hurt, mad whatever it may have been. She taught me to give myself a deadline, a day, a few hours, whatever it was, and truly grieve, feel the pain and then I was able to move forward. When I moved forward I was able to see what it was I learned in that lesson. It may not have been right away, but I did see it later on.
With my blogs, and one day soon podcast, I want to inspire you to find the good in your life. I really hope everyone can learn to see who they are, who they are meant to be and how they too can make a difference in this world. I want you to live your best life. I want you to be able to Find The Good.
Find The Good In Your Life 