Tag: mental-health

This Little Light Of Mine
family · fear · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming · Uncategorized

This Little Light Of Mine

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Hello Beautiful People. “Your joy does not need permission” ~ Unknown

I sat with a “friend” one day who wanted to get to know me better, or so I thought. As we talked, she looked frustrated, confused, almost angry, and she blurted out, “There is no way you are really that happy with everything you say you’ve been through. You must be lying. I can’t be friends with someone who isn’t real.” She then got up and walked away.

I sat there in disbelief at what had just happened. Why was she mad? Was I really not that happy? Was I not being real?

At one time, I had been told before that I had toxic positivity because I always just wanted to see the good in everything. I understood that and knew I needed to allow myself, and others, time to feel what they were feeling. I recalled my grandmother always telling me to feel it all and give myself time to do so, but then release it. I truly tried to do that with everything in life. I felt the pain of abandonment, abuse, rape, suicidal thoughts, and much more, but I never wanted to dwell in those things, so I let them go.

I started hiding my happiness because I could see it bothered people. The people pleaser in me never wanted to shine too bright because it might draw negative attention to myself. I needed to be friendly, but not overdo it. I needed to be happy, but just enough that it didn’t seem fake. I needed to keep all my feelings inside because if people know what you’re going through, you’re just looking for attention. I couldn’t do it anymore.

One day, I just decided it’s okay to not have everyone like you. I knew that was a thing, but it was never a thing for me. I always “needed” to be liked by everyone, or so I thought. Letting go of what others think of you was so freeing. I really did evaluate my life during that time and wondered if I really was “that happy.” The answer was simple. Yes.

Not that my life was easy or didn’t have its challenges, but I loved, and love, my life. My husband really is my best friend. He is truly the person I enjoy spending most of my time with. I love my children and am proud of who they are becoming. I feel like I did a decent job of raising them. I love my grandkids so much, and the time I spend with them is precious, memory-making time. My friends, the circle is small and beautiful.

I choose the life I live, and I decided it will be a beautiful life that is lived. Yes, there may be challenges, but I don’t live in them. I live in the moments of laughter and joy because I decided to find the good in my life, and I hope no matter what you are going through, you too can Find the Good in Your Life.

Forever or For A Season
family · Life · Uncategorized

Forever or For A Season

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Hello Beautiful People. “Not every goodbye is spoken. Some chapters just turn.” ~ Unknown

I’ve made some of my favorite memories with people I may never speak to again. It’s funny how one day you’re laughing and making plans that never happen; not because you had a falling out, but because that chapter in your life simply came to an end. There were no bad feelings, just life happening. You sat up laughing until four in the morning, knowing this was now one of your closest friends, but just as quickly as the friendship began, it faded into a beautiful memory of a single night filled with laughter.

As I watch my grandchildren play, I think about that quote that says something like: “one day you’ll go out to play with your friends and it will be the last time, but you won’t know it’s the last time.” I think a lot about my childhood friends, the ones I grew up riding bikes with and playing in each other’s garages. It was the ’70s and early ’80s, and I can vividly remember playing with Lisa, James, Harvey, and his two sisters almost every day. We were all great friends.

That all lasted until the summer of sixth grade. Then a new chapter started. New friends. New school. A new life, almost as if the last one didn’t happen. It became just a memory. I never saw it coming. It just did.

I remember my last phone call with one of my best friends before she passed. We didn’t know it would be the last one, or we would have talked longer, I’m sure. But that’s the thing about time, seasons, chapters, life. We never know when things will change, but they do, in the blink of an eye.

I wouldn’t trade a single memory because they all made me who I am. As I write this, I’m laughing and crying over all the people in those past chapters of my life. From dancing until we closed the club and, yes, let’s not forget broken towel racks. From basement apartments with no heat to parties that got us thrown out. To my last game of hide-and-seek on Snow Ave. I wouldn’t change a thing.

These memories may fade into the back of my mind, like waking from a dream — remembering only pieces, with a half-smile — because you laughed, you cried, you loved, you lived. And maybe that’s the point of it all: not to hold on so tightly that nothing ever changes, but to be grateful that it happened at all. Some people are meant to stay forever, and others are meant to shape us for a season. Both matter. Both leave their mark.

No matter the chapter or the season of life you are in, make sure to make those memories that will leave you with a smile on your face because you took the the time to Find The Good In Your Life.

And Just Like That
family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · Uncategorized

And Just Like That

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“What feels like the end is often the beginning.”— Unknown

Hello, Beautiful People.

And just like that, the chapter closed — not with answers, but with peace.

I walked out of 2025 and into 2026 knowing that many chapters in my life were coming to an end, and I felt an overwhelming sense of peace about it. I’m so excited for the chapters ahead because, while they may feel unwritten, the truth is I’ve spent years writing them. Years forming them. Years working toward them.

But before I could move forward, I had to make peace with what I was leaving behind.

I would sometimes go back and reread those chapters, searching for answers — answers I didn’t always find. Sometimes I stayed a little longer than I should have, just in case. But now, even without answers, I finally have the peace I needed to close those chapters and move forward.

And just like that, the year I’ve been waiting for is here.

When I was ten, I learned that seniors get discounts and “special” treatment at places. I thought that meant senior in high school. I couldn’t wait to be in 12th grade. I imagined going to the movies for less and drinking McDonald’s coffee for almost nothing — I swear I remember hearing it was five cents, but that was the ’80s.

The day I found out that “senior” actually meant 55, I was crushed.

So I made a decision.

When I turn 55, that will be the beginning of the most magical time of my life. Everything will fall into place.

And here we are.

March 18th — I turn 55. And it feels like I’ve been waiting my whole life for my life to start. I can’t fully explain it, but when you know, that you know, that you know… yeah — it’s like that.

My daughter used to say, “I’m just ready for my real life to start.” I always understood her. I knew she was rushing through some of the best years of her life because I was doing the same thing — waiting for my real life to begin.

I don’t know what she was waiting for, and I pray daily that she sees and enjoys every moment of the beautiful life she’s built now.

While I did stop and enjoy moments along the way — the best I could — I always knew, deep down, that 55 and beyond was it for me.

I know I’ll likely have another 45 years, if not more. But as someone who was always focused on the next thing, never fully able to enjoy the now because I knew I was working toward something else — I’m ready for the peace that comes with arriving.

To outsiders, this chapter may look the same. But to me — someone who has waited — it feels entirely different. There is peace in finally resting. Peace in closing chapters. Peace in seeing the things ahead lining up because of the work I put in years ago.

Are there moments I wish I had slowed down? Yes — especially when my children were young. But I will no longer look back at those chapters with sadness or regret. I did the best I could with what I had at the time.

Now, I move forward with my head held high.

And just like that, without answers but with peace, I found the good in my life.

I hope whatever you are looking for, waiting for, that you too will always Find The Good In Your Life.

family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming · Uncategorized

Lessons From A Broken Mug

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Good Morning Beautiful People

“It’s okay to break. What matters is what you do with the pieces.” — Maria Hagberg

I broke a mug this morning. To say I was upset is an understatement. It was one of my favorites. I have several mugs—somewhere around a hundred (we don’t judge here). Most of them are Disney-themed, as was this one. But this one also had plants on it and said, “I be-leaf in you.”

I love a good pun. And plants. This was a top-ten mug. Could I get a new one? Sure. But that’s not the point of this story.

As I stood there with ceramic scattered across the countertop, I heard Matt call out, “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I said.
He paused and replied, “But you’re sad.”

He was right. I was.

Then he said something that stopped me in my tracks: “It’s okay. What’s important is you’re okay.”

In that moment, I had flashes of all the times in my life when hearing those exact words would have saved me from years of fear and self-criticism. I remember hearing, “You’re so clumsy,” or “Why don’t you watch what you’re doing?” And I know, somewhere along the way, I probably said those same words to my kids before I realized—it’s okay. We all make mistakes.

Now, I would never get upset with my grandkids for spilling or breaking something. I’d smile, tell them it’s okay, and help them clean it up.

As I’ve entered my healing—my soft-girl era, if you will—I’ve learned a few things. I can’t live in the “I wish I would have” moments because they wreck me every time. You know the ones:

“I wish I would have spoken to my kids with more patience.” “I wish I would have been more present.”

I can’t change the past. But I can do better now—with my grandkids, with my family, and with myself.

It only took me 54 years to learn this: it’s okay to break. What matters is what you do with the pieces.

Have you ever seen a mosaic table? It’s made of hundreds of broken pieces—each one unique, each one essential. Together, they form something beautiful.

Maybe that’s the metaphor for my life. All the broken pieces I’ve gathered and put back together have helped me find the good in my life.

And I hope that as you clean up your own shattered pieces, you too can Find the Good in Your Life.

family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming · Uncategorized

Eggshells

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“The ground only feels fragile when you’re not standing in your truth.” ~ Maria Hagberg

Hello Beautiful People. Did I ever tell you I have a magical gift? I learned to read a room before I learned to read a book. When you have parental units that are walking time bombs you learn at an early age what not to say or do to set them off. Unfortunately this “gift” followed me into adulthood. My daughter got mad at me one day because I would, and still do, wait to share things until the “time is right.” I would try never to ruin my kids’ mornings before school, even if that meant I was the one making the sacrifice because I didn’t want their day to be bad. She said, “Why do you do that? If you have something to say, just say it.” If only it was that easy. You would think at 54 I would have let this go, but there are days I still feel the crunch of egg shells beneath my feet.

In my adult life this “gift” followed me into relationships. I had gone to therapy and at one time became very bold with my words, just saying whatever came to mind, not caring about the other person’s feelings, just wanting my truth to be heard. I was then told I was too harsh and I needed to really watch what I say, because once words are spoken they could be forgiven but never forgotten. This thought almost paralyzed me. I never wanted to hurt people, I just wanted to be heard. Back to therapy I went. Unfortunately not wanting to hurt others meant I wasn’t living my life. I hid my happiness because I didn’t want others to feel bad for not being as happy. I sometimes would let it slip how happy I was and someone would make the comment that, “no one is really that happy” or “no one’s marriage is really that good.” It was easier for me to hide my truth then to be authentic. I was once again feeling the crumble around me.

Wanting to find the happy medium of being able to speak my truth and live my life without worrying about hurting others, back to therapy I went. This time I felt like I had finally understood what my therapists were saying. Trying really hard to allow that frightened child, the young married girl, and the grown woman I had become to speak her truth and live her happy life, I was finally able to sweep up the egg shells from the floor. Unfortunately, I do still find remnants of those shells on the floor now and again as I wait for the “perfect” time to say something, but I no longer fear the bombs that were in my life, nor am I worried about showing the love that surrounds me. I hope if you are walking on egg shells that you too can sweep them away and learn to live out loud and always Find the Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming · Uncategorized

Don’t Yuck My Yum!

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Hello beautiful people. “Do your thing. And don’t care if they like it.” — Tina Fey

Have you ever been sharing something with someone and they roll their eyes, or say “I don’t like that”? It’s not just when I’m sharing something that I don’t like, but when someone sees or hears about something someone else has and says, “Yuck, I don’t like that.” That’s ok Becky (made up name) it wasn’t for you. I’ve taught myself over the years, when someone asks me directly if I like something and I don’t, to usually say, “I like it for you, it’s not for me.” And now that I’m thinking about it, I could probably leave out the last part. Seriously, I never want to take away from someone else’s joy of something they like. I do not like candy (love chocolate) but you’ll never catch me yucking my daughter’s yum as she eats jelly beans or Sour Patch Kids.

In this age of keyboard warriors, everyone seems ready to share their opinion — whether you asked for it or not. But here’s the truth: you can hear something or read something and simply… not reply. I’ve caught myself wanting to chime in on things that were none of my business, ready to toss in my two cents. But really, why? If you like pickles and peanut butter, or if you’d rather hike the mountains than sit on the beach, what does that have to do with me? The same goes for parenting choices — co-sleeping, crib sleeping, or anything else. Unless it’s your child, maybe it’s not your say. Why do we feel so entitled to weigh in on other people’s lives?

I don’t know about you, but people seem to want to speak into my life often. I’ve learned not to let it get to me, and when it does, I ask myself two questions: Do they pay my bills? and Do they live in a way I’d want to model my own life after? If not, their opinion doesn’t deserve my energy. We should allow people to enjoy their yums, as long as it does no harm to them or anyone else. So tell me , what’s one of your yums, that thing you love even if others don’t? Life is too short to waste on yucking someone else’s yum. Celebrate your joys, honor theirs, and always, Find the Good in Your Life.

Inspirational · Life · Overcoming

Find Your People

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Hello Beautiful People! “A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be.” — Winnie the Pooh

Have you ever sat in a room of people and felt so alone but yet sat with one person and felt so seen? I’ve stood on stages and been cheered by thousands and yet looked out only looking for my one. I’ve been congratulated by strangers and waited for the same congratulations by those I thought were my people. Looking for a place to fit in and finding “Your People” is sometimes a long and stressful thing. I have found as we go through the different seasons of our life, sometimes the people change too. I’ve been very blessed with the same, never changing, no matter the season of life, Besties since I was 12, but we live on different coasts and, though we cheer each other on and share our lives in text, phone calls, and pictures, something is missing. I need connection, we all need connection.

I think we live in a world that had become used to doing so much life through text and social media that when 2020 happened and turned into two years of social distancing, we became very comfortable with being alone. Then followed by two years of justifying why we still weren’t ready to connect. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with spending time by yourself. As a matter of fact, it’s healthy to be able to sit alone, but that’s a topic for another day. Though alone time is good, doing life alone is not. We are meant to do life together. What does that look like? Well in the book “Find Your People” by Jennie Allen, she explains that we have layers of relationships. The outer most are your Acquaintances, which are all the people you know. Then you have your Village, that’s around 50 people, and are the ones you do a lot of life with and would invite to a party if you were having one; you enjoy their company. Then there is the Inner Circle, the 2 to 5 that are closest with you, the ones you would call if you were having an emergency. I’ve definitely had the Village so many times. You share life and talk about things and start to go deep. I remember sitting around my table doing life with my “Small Group” (there was 20 of us) and we shared our hurts and our pains and cried together, went to doctor appointments together and waited for results together. We didn’t all go to the doctor together, but we asked who can go with me. We weren’t afraid of being a “burden” to one another. As a matter of fact, we picked up each others’ burdens and carried them, together. But 2020 happened, and doing life together changed. My group tried to stay together. We did Facetimes and texted, but life took a toll on so many of us, and the way the world looked and behaved, changed.

Now, I long for those conversations around a table or fire-pit, but this time I’m looking to go deeper. I love the Village life, and I want that too, but I want that Inner Circle. I want that feeling I had with my 12 year old besties of laughing till we almost pee (unfortunately today I probably would pee… if you know, you know). That closeness of, “I’m coming over.” I don’t want to settle for just doing Village life, I want to go deeper. That I actually am holding your hand and looking you in the eyes when I say, “everything will be ok,” not just texting it. I want to hold your hand and pray for you and not just text “praying.” I want those 2 to 5 people that I don’t feel scared to ask for help. You see, with my village I was the leader, and I felt alone so much because I was the one making sure everyone else was healthy and ok that I forgot to seek out my inner circle. I even, at times, became resentful of the Village because they didn’t check on me, but how could they when I didn’t let them know that I needed help. I thought the bread crumbs I was dropping would be the clue, but I never just said, “I’m having a hard time,” or whatever it may be. Finding your inner circle also means there will be hard conversations sometimes. Am I ready for those conversations should they arise? I hope so. I want to have the friends that turn to family. That I know that even if we have a disagreement we will get past it and be stronger.

I just started a new Bible Study group, and as we start to form the Village, I look around the table and wonder will any of them be my inner circle? It’s great if they are, but ok if they aren’t. I like knowing I a have Village of women praying for me. Yes, we all know Matt is my best friend, and, after God, Matt is as close to the inner of inner circles as it gets. But there is something about a girlfriend. Matt has his guy friends, and I watch as he giggles at his phone as they text each other and make plans to meet up. I’m a little envious. I love that for him, but I need that for me. In the book we are reading it explains about Finding Your People and how to go about it. I text a friend the other day and said, “Apparently you are one of my best friends.” She laughed and agreed I was one of hers too. For the sake of the book we won’t include Matt into that inner circle, or my daughter, who I love to think is my friend, not just my daughter, and knows me better than most. So now I have one inner circle friend… this is a little scary. As I come out of the fog of what was the 2020 vortex and go into an new season looking for and ready for those connections that I believe so many of us really are, I open myself up ready to do life with people again. Ready for cookouts with couple friends. Ready for coffee talks with girlfriends. Ready to hold myself accountable for allowing love and friendship back into my life that go deeper and not closing myself off because of past hurts. I would love to know, do you have your Village? Do you have your Inner Circle? I would really suggest everyone seeking to make new connections to read this book. I don’t agree with all of it, but the one thing I know for sure, I want to share the good in my life, and I hope you always Find The Good In Your Life.