Tag: life is good
Hello Sunshines! “Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.” Meister EckhartIt’s Not Too Late
Good Morning Sunshines! “It’s never too late to be what you might have been.” George Elliot
Imagine you are 100 years old and you are laying in bed taking your last breaths and standing around your bed was not your family and friends but instead, it was all of your hopes, dreams, visions and talents you were given but never used. The books you never wrote because you were too worried about what others would think. The business you didn’t start because no one else could understand your vision, so they talked you out of your dream. The trip you never took because it was “never the right time.” The family you never had because you needed everything to be “just right” before you could do that. How would you feel knowing these things were going to die with you? I know this might sound a bit morbid, but the truth is that no one can do what you can do.
I lived in limbo for years of the things I wanted to do for myself. I would use my kids as an excuse. I would tell myself, “When they are grown up I will do the things I want to do.” Well they grew up, got married, and I still waited. What was I was waiting for? A few years ago when I had my strokes and was working way too much I knew, this is not the life I want to be living. What was going to change and how was I going to do it? I quit my job and started writing my first of many children’s books, but just couldn’t finish them. I have been doing other things too. Started a new company with my hubby, but he does most of the work for that. I help when I can. Very active at church. I spend most of my time there. However, knowing what my “calling” is and not fulfilling it was really getting to me.
So, what was I going to do? I had to think what made me come alive? What did I want to be when I grew up? I know this might sound funny to some, but I loved the show Sex and the City. To me it was a great show about friendships, and anyone who knows me knows I love, love and friendship. I’ll watch anything about friendships (including cartoons). So, while watching this show I would love watching Sarah Jessica Parker’s character Carrie Bradshaw. She would write an article for a newspaper and every time she did it made something in me stir. I knew I wanted/needed to write. Yes, every time I write my blog I think of Carrie Bradshaw. My articles will probably never be like hers, but I love the writing. I also knew I needed to write the children’s books because my kids would tell me when they were little they couldn’t find my stories in the library and they needed to know what happened next. So, I did it. I started writing my blog, channeling my inner Carrie Bradshaw. But, the most exciting thing, I finished my first book. Doing some rewrites right now, but it’s done. The moral to this story, it’s never too late, unless you are laying on your death-bed, to follow your dreams and live out the life you always believed you should have. What makes you come alive? What do you want to be when you grow up? Now it’s your turn to start living for you and Find The Good In Your Life.
What Are You Doing With Your Time?
Good Morning Sunshines! “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” ~ Steve Jobs
Time is no respecter of person. It doesn’t matter if you are rich or poor, you get the same amount. You can’t buy more time. You can’t borrow from tomorrow’s and you can’t take back what you “waisted” yesterday. No matter what happens or what family you are born into, you get the same 24 hours as everyone else. How are you using it?
This morning when Elon Musk or Warren Buffett woke up they were not granted more hours in their day because of how productive they were in the past. I do not know them, but something tells me they probably didn’t binge watch something on Netflix yesterday.
While I was researching how different people use their time I found a common denominator for those who are most productive and wealthy. It’s how they were using their time that really mattered. I don’t know about you, but I had always heard, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” or “Sleep is for broke people.” Actually, that is quite opposite of what I was reading and the podcast I watched. “They” (those who are where I want to be) said sleep was important. You can only make so many good decisions a day and without a good 6 to 8 hours of sleep a night you may make a costly mistake. Going to bed early so you can wake up early was actually recommended. The most productive hours in the day are first thing in the morning, if you use them right. So I listened to what they said and started using my morning time more wisely. I know I’ve talked about this before but I think it’s worth repeating. First thing in the morning, give to you. For me that looks like, reading my bible, praying, journaling, reading, writing my blog or working on my book and then working out. That is my first few hours of my day. I was feeling pretty good about how I was spending my mornings and my routine. Then things got a little trickier.
What did they do with the rest of their day? It looked like a lot of research, meetings, making decisions, returning emails (but only twice a day, that is important because you can get caught up answering emails every 5 minutes depending on what you do) giving back to the community, investing in people, teaching, learning. I got excited! Investing in people, that’s what I do! How were they doing that? One of the things that all these people said and had in common was they are always reading and learning from others so they can pour into others. Yes! They all spent at least an hour a day reading and learning from others. Even Warren Buffett said he still learns something new every day. The other thing that these people had in common was not only had they established a morning routine, they had a night routine. For some it was tuning out the world and reading and writing things they were thankful for that day. One thing they all said was before bed they would journal down their goals, and make a “To Do” list for the next day. This always kept their why in front of them and helped keep their dream alive.
For some people being a millionaire may not be your thing. I have a friend whose goal right now is to be the best mom and wife she can be. As she and I talked about all this for the past few weeks, she set goals on how she would do this and she saw a change in her house and family. She found there was less stress in the house. What had changed? She was taking the first and last part of the day for her and not feeling guilty that she needed a moment. She said becoming a morning person was a huge change for her, but she found that it made a difference when she started they day off right. Setting a routine for her kids and herself helped make things run smoother. She says she is able to be a better wife because she isn’t feeling so stressed, and when her husband comes home she is able to enjoy that time with him and not feel like she needs to be rescued from the chaos that was her life.
My point, time is precious. How are you using it? Do you need help on how to manage your time? I’m here to help you, if you need it. We are all given the same amount. Are you going to use it to help you Find The Good In Your Life?
I Am Thankful
Good Morning Sunshines! “When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” ~ Willie Nelson
I am so thankful for another day. I have started writing this at least 5 times and deleted it because all I can think is I am so thankful for another day. Why am I so thankful? I am thankful for another day to try again. I am thankful for my family. I am thankful that I get to go spend some time with some amazing ladies today. I am thankful that I get to do laundry today. I am thankful that I can call my mom later and check on her. I am thankful that I learned from my mistakes of yesterday. I am thankful I woke up next my hubby. I am thankful for friendships that have turned into “family”. I am thankful I have a place to call home. I am thankful I live in Cali. I am thankful for my animals. I am thankful for social media. I am thankful that I have time for others. I am thankful for those quiet moments when I can just sit and appreciate all that I am thankful for. I am thankful for my daughters laugh. I am thankful when I get a call or text from my son. I am thankful for my granddaughter. I am thankful I have my husbands hand to hold. I am thankful I get to go workout today. I am thankful for my marriage. I am thankful for pillow talk with my hubby.
I could go on but I won’t. Most of the times we count our blessings when we just had something major happen, good or bad. I had neither of those things happen, I just woke up feeling so thankful. I couldn’t hold it in. Whatever happens today I will remember, I am thankful. I am thankful for you who is reading this. I am most thankful for all of us who are walking this walk together to Find The Good In Our Lives.
Don’t Wish It Away
Good Morning Sunshines! “The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn the past, worry about the future or to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” ~ Buddha
Have you ever found yourself wishing for the next thing? When I was a child, I couldn’t wait to be a teenager . When I was a teen, I couldn’t wait to be out of high school. When I was single, I couldn’t wait to be married. When I had one child, I couldn’t wait for more. When I had to get up in the middle of the night to feed them, I couldn’t wait for them to sleep through the night. Now that I can look back on it, I believe I couldn’t wait for them to get older too. My heart sinks at the thought of how much time I waisted on wishing for the next thing and not enjoying the now.
I look at my family as they are growing up and are married, one with a baby, and wish I had that time back to sit on the floor and play with them instead of wishing they were older and could help me clean. I think about my friends who I don’t get to spend time with because we all have our own lives and some of us don’t live close by. I remember my grandma telling me to enjoy the moment because they will go by so fast. It is now that I truly understand this.
What am I trying to say? I challenge you to stop wishing away the day but instead embrace it. Take every part of your day and remember you will not get this day back. Go outside today and feel the sunshine on your face. If it’s raining, go outside and dance in the rain. Don’t worry about tomorrow or even the next hour, just be in the moment. Today, sit a little longer with a friend, hold your baby while they nap, call someone you miss. For those of you who enjoy your work, (that’s awesome) remember that. When it’s getting you frustrated and you want to throw in the towel, remember why you started doing what you are doing. Remind yourself of your why! Tomorrow is a new day and you may fail today at these things and wish you could be doing something else, and that’s ok. Keep trying every day till you can Find The Good In Your Life and in every moment.
Are You The CEO Of Your Own Life?
Good Morning Sunshines! “The pen that writes your life story must be held in your own hand.” ~ Irene C Kassorla
Are you the CEO of your own life? One of my favorite movies is The Holiday. In this movie one of the actresses is going through some things and someone asked her, “Why are you not being the leading lady in your own life?” This struck a chord with me. I was not the lead in my own life. I allowed everyone and everything else to take precedence over me. I knew something had to change. There were so many things I wanted to do for myself but I made everyone else the priority. I knew I had to find a way to change it.
Change, UGH! I swear it should be a four letter word. I wanted it, I needed it. I had to have it. How was I going to get it? Every morning I had to fight a war against myself to get up and show up. If I could do this for a job, why couldn’t I do it for me? Every day I fight against procrastination, laziness, fear, doubt, so I can become the person I want to be. I get up earlier so I can do the things I want for me, before I do for others. I needed to take control of my life and the only way I could was first thing in the morning before the rest of the world demanded from me. It’s ok if you’re working for someone else, the question is, did you do for you before you did for them?
Every night before I go to bed, I look in the mirror and ask myself, “Were you the CEO of your own life today?” Most days I say “Yes!” I am proud of who I am becoming because I chose to take control of my life. I decided that making healthy habits for myself and not allowing others to dictate my life and happiness made me a better person not just for me but for everyone I encountered. Today I want you to ask yourself, “Am I the CEO of my own life?” If the answer is no, let’s find a way to change it so you can get The Good In Your Life.
Don’t Let Your Mind Whisper Fear Into Your Heart
Good Morning Sunshines! “Stay focused, go after your dreams and keep moving toward your goals.” ~ LL Cool J
I can talk my self out of anything. I’ll put something in my cart but by the time I get to the checkout I have decided not to get it, even though my husband will tell me to buy it. I am the queen at rationalizing why I don’t need something. Have you ever been so excited about something you want to do, a new goal, but then you start to find ways why it won’t work instead of why it will work? In the past I have been so excited about a project that I’m about to take on and the next thing I know I’m no longer excited about it. I will tell myself, “I’m going to work out at least 3 to 5 times a week. Everyone knows you never miss a Monday. Well, actually, I can’t on Mondays because I’m so tired from Sunday, and I can’t go Tuesdays because I have an early meeting…” Next thing you know you’re paying for a gym membership you don’t actually use. My favorite thing I have talked myself out of in the past is eating healthy. “Well it’s the holidays, it’s this person’s birthday, got to eat cake. I don’t want to answer questions about why I decided to become a vegetarian so I’ll just eat meat to keep everyone off my back from telling me why it’s a bad idea, even though I feel it’s best for me.” I would talk myself out of things out of fear of failing.
I decided not to talk myself out of things anymore. How was I going to do this, when I am the Queen of it? In the beginning, I found that if I wrote out a Pro and Con list, that helped. If I found someone to be accountable to, that helped me. Sometimes it also helped that other person because you don’t want to let them down. However, my friends knew I was a pushover when it came to working out so I had to pay a trainer. You don’t mess with my money, I’ll be there! But when it came to my writing or a new business opportunity, I found talking to that one person I knew who could help me remember even when I’m not “feeling it” was the best thing for me. I’m thankful that for me that’s my hubby. He helps me remember the excitement I had about something. However, the one thing that I found that works 100% of the time is this… just to do it. When it comes down to it, I am only responsible for myself, and if I want something bad enough, nothing and nobody can talk me out of it, including myself. I have to remind myself, “Don’t let your mind whisper fear into your heart.” When I want something bad enough, nothing will stop me. The next time you start to hear “you can’t do that” or “it’ll never work,” ask yourself, “Is that your heart or your mind?” Listen to your heart. Stop being rational about everything and get passionate about YOU! Let’s start having passion about our life. I promise this will help you to Find The Good In Your Life.
T.M.I. Friday – Just Be Here
Good Morning Sunshines! “It is hard to love yourself if you never spend time with yourself. Alone time is necessary.” ~ Izey Victoria Odiase
My heart is so full with the love from the response I received for “No More Hurt”. The part that touched my heart the most was how I got to hear from all of you. I received so many comments and private messages. I loved talking with you. That is why I write and want to help people. It was an opportunity to hear about the things you are going through and what you would like me to talk about. I really would like this to be an open dialog. One of the things that a few people mentioned was they loved TMI Fridays because they felt like they got to know me a little bit more so here is todays TMI….
I told y’all that my hubby and I are on an East Coast tour. One of the things we are doing while we are away is going to a conference. Well, from all the traveling we have been doing I became so swollen. I retain water like a camel. So today I stayed at our Air BnB while he went to the confrence and took a water pill. This was amazing. It’s not my house so I didn’t have to clean. We did the laundry yesterday. So the only thing I could do was relax. I drank tea, I read, I listened to podcasts, I wrote and I watched 3 romantic comedies all while laying/sitting in bed. Seriously, awesome. I loved doing this so much but felt like I should be doing something else.
Seriously, why is it so hard to enjoy “Me Time”? These are all my favorite things to do (just missing working out and baths). I made myself be in the moment. Every time I would start to think about two weeks from now when I’m back home and what needs to be done, I would stop myself and say “Be here now.” Learning to be in the moment is still something I struggle with but I am learning. Yes, we need to plan for tomorrow, but not worry about it. I decided that I needed some more practice so I’m taking another “Me day”, this time I’ll hit the gym and get some one-on-one time with the sunshine. What is your favorite way to take a “Me Day”? Whatever it is, I hope it helps you Find The Good In Your Life.
Yoga Is Not Relaxing (but I enjoy it)
Good Morning Sunshines! My hubby and I have been on a tour of the East Coast visiting friends and family. It snowed everywhere we went! Thankfully we are now in warm Florida for a week. While we have been traveling, I had my birthday, and got to celebrate our granddaughters first birthday. I am now 47, so I thought I would share 47 things that I have learned…
- It’s ok to put myself first
- Tomorrow isn’t promised
- Giving your time is the best gift you can give
- Real friends are few and far between
- Real love is amazing
- Marrying my best friend was the best thing I ever did
- Traveling with my hubby is a lot of fun
- Sitting outside in the sun energizes me
- I really like baseball. Love the Dodgers!!!
- Family time is my favorite
- I enjoy working out
- The hard times will get better
- Learning to love myself was harder than I thought it would be
- Learning to accept my flaws is still a struggle
- Even the people I love and look up to will let me down sometimes
- Having a mentor will stretch you
- Daily improvement makes me feel good about myself (reading, podcasts, conferences)
- Some people don’t want to change and I have to accept that
- Good music speaks to my soul like nothing else can
- I can choose to be happy even when things aren’t going right
- Yoga is not relaxing (but I enjoy it)
- Meditation is harder than I thought, but worth it
- A good bed is a must
- So is a good pillow
- I love just sitting around a fire pit with friends and family more than going out
- I am great at time management
- I am a great friend
- It’s ok to say “No” with no explanation
- I like sushi
- I can’t swim and not sure I’ll ever learn
- I can read people rather well and can spot a fake a mile away
- I don’t have to be friends with everyone
- Not everyone is going to like me
- I have a very creative mind and need to use it more
- I enjoy reading (I read the first chapter and last chapter first)
- Baths are my favorite way to end a day
- Use moisturizer daily
- Enjoy what you do or stop doing it
- Tell those you love that you love them as often as can
- Travel as much as you can
- I enjoy being around people, but recharge by having quiet time
- I love going above and beyond for those I love
- Missing my grandma doesn’t get easier
- Being a grandparent is wonderful
- Riding with the top off my jeep and music blaring makes me happy
- I don’t enjoy cooking
- Having adult kids is the best because you have new best friends you have so many amazing memories with
I hope you are having a great week. I will be back to my normal writing soon. I have a few things I have written but they are kind of heavy and wasn’t sure when I would be ready to open up like that. I truly enjoy sharing my life with you and helping others Find The Good In Theirs.
TMI Friday – Grandma – International Women’s Day
Good Morning Sunshines! “She made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible. She walked with the Universe on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of wings.” ―Ariana Dancu
It’s TMI Friday! Yesterday was International Women’s Day so I wanted to talk about the most amazing woman I’ve ever known, my grandma. My grandma was/is my hero. She taught me so much. Grandma was a godly woman who always made time for the word. She started and ended each day in prayer. She never raised her voice. If she got mad she would start talking really low so you had to concentrate on what she was saying. It was worse than someone yelling. I could never get anything past her. If I called “just to say hi”, she always knew exactly what was going on before I even told her. My grandma was a farmer’s wife, she had six kids, and many grandkids. Grandma never had favorites. I would joke and tell her “it’s ok to say I’m your favorite.” She would let me know her favorite was whoever needed her most at that time. She always made you feel like you were the most important person when she talked to you. She really listened.
My grandma had gotten a job out of the house for a few years and worked in an arcade. Yes, a video game arcade! If you would have met her at first you would have thought this was strange. However, after 5 minutes of watching her around all the young people who came through you would know she was right where she was supposed to be. They loved her! Grandma would call kids out on their baggy pants, wild looks, bad attitudes, and always get to the root of the issues. I remember one day going to work with her and a group of kids came in being loud and disrespectful. Grandma walked up to them and told them to watch their language, and pull up their pants because she had no desire to see their behinds. One of the kids got mouthy and grandma started talking real low. I’m not sure what she said, but the next thing I know, their pants are pulled up and they are saying “Yes Mama.” She walked back up to her seat, grabbed some quarters, gave them each a few, and went and played Lady Bug, her favorite game. Everyone loved Grandma.
Grandma passed away a few years ago on, February 14, 2011. This seemed so fitting for her. I was so sad and just wanted to lay in bed all day and cry. However, I could hear my grandma saying “How long are you going to cry?’ (Read my post, Finding the Good, to understand that a little better) I cried for a while and then knew it was going to be ok. For me, knowing she was spending Valentines with her first love was so fitting. I miss her every day. When my time comes I hope I am half as loved and respected as she was. Grandma was such an amazing example of love, never judging. She met you where you were at. I am so thankful for her and the amazing woman she was. I hope you have an amazing woman in your life who can help you Find The Good.
I Choose Today
Good Morning Sunshines! “Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.” ~ Author Unknown
The choices you make today will determine where you are tomorrow. I can not stress enough how today needs to be the day you make those changes. Think about the day you first thought about making a change. Where would you be now if you would have followed through?
Today is the day! Today is the day you take charge of your own life. Today is the day you stop believing the lies that were spoken over you. Today is the day you say no more! Today is the day you stop being a victim and start becoming victorious. Today is the day you choose happiness and joy. Today is the day you start believing in your self. Today is the day you start appreciating every day as a gift and stop taking life for granted. Today is the day you start working toward your goals and dreams.
Today I am making some changes that I wish I would have made a few years ago. For me, I have taken my health for granted and I can’t do it anymore. What is it that you need to take hold of today and say, “No More!”. I challenge you today to look at your life and say, “I’m ready to make a change and I will Find The Good In My Choices!”
Put it down!
Good Morning Sunshines! “So that’s the telephone? They ring, and you run.” ~Edgar Degas
Microwave Society ~The mindset of wanting (and nearly getting) everything “RIGHT NOW”. Technology has made gathering or sending information extremely fast and we’ve begun to think that everything in life should be available on demand.
One night my hubby and I were out to dinner and at the table across the way we saw a couple sitting together. He was reading a paper, she was sitting waiting for conversation. I told Matt, “I never want to be like that.” Let’s fast forward 12 years…. I’m sitting at table with a friend yesterday and as we are talking they get a text. I am literally in the middle of game planning with them about something we are working on and they pick up their phone and start to read their text. A few things hit me in my gut at this time….
- Am I not worthy of your time?
- Is there something else you’d rather be doing?
- You are so rude because it was a group text, I got it too but didn’t stop to read it!
- Maybe we should talk business at another time when you can focus on our conversation.
- Would you do this if you were talking to someone else?
I know I have been guilty of this myself from time to time when sitting with a friend, but I vowed right then to never do that again. I never carry a purse so the phone does end up on the table and I do let people know if I am expecting an important call or something that is time sensitive that I will need to address as soon as it comes in. However, I have never in the middle of a meeting picked up my phone. I say all that to say, where did our manners go? Giving someone our full attention should not be that hard. I feel that we have gotten so comfortable with being a microwave society that we don’t even realize how rude we have become. I am going to make it a point to not do this anymore. We went years without cell phones and the world did not fall apart because we didn’t answer a phone call, text, email, right away. I think we would be less stressed out if we start setting boundaries to our phones/life. We need to put more focus on human interaction and less into technology, at least when we are sitting with people. I know I want to make that person who is speaking to me feel like they are important and I value their time. I challenge you to put down the phone, talk to someone and Find The Good In Genuine Interaction.
Boss vs Leader
Good Morning Sunshines! “People ask the difference between a leader and a boss. The leader leads, and the boss drives.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt
I was at a local coffee shop the other day and was listening to the conversation at the next table as they complained about their new boss. One of the girls was a manager at the company and the other was being trained for another store. However, the training wasn’t going well because “the boss” didn’t know how to train/teach, she was a micromanager. Instead of equipping these young ladies with the skills they needed to learn in order to lead, she preferred to give them tasks that she needed to make sure were being completed. This made me cringe. I know people like this. At one point I may have even been that boss. It usually comes from a place of not wanting others to succeed, or worried they will take your place, when actually what will happen is people will see your ability to have people follow you and learn from you and you will be given praise for that.
Through the years I have learned that teaching someone to take your job opens you up for promotion. Let’s break it down even more simply, we teach our kids how to do laundry, do dishes, vacuum the house, etc. Yes, we will continue to make sure for some time they are doing these properly, but one day you no longer have to micromanage them. They have learned this skill and one day will be able to pass the knowledge on. As a boss/leader it is the same thing. Once you can let go and allow others to take ownership of their job/responsibilities, it then opens you up to do other things. If you are in any type of leadership role, I challenge you to teach people instead of just being a micromanager. Allow for mistakes and use those as teachable moments. I know the people you work with will then Find The Good In You.
TMI Friday-Birthday
Good Morning Sunshines! While I was on my hiatus of writing and planning my daughter’s wedding, I received a few DM’s (direct messages) from random people letting me know they missed me writing and really liked my TMI Fridays. Thank you to those who reached out to check on me and letting me know you enjoy my almost daily post.
Happy TMI Friday! Today’s post is all about why I love my birthday. March 18 is my birthday and this year I will be 47. I am very ok with my age and love to celebrate. Think about it, what is the alternative? If you don’t have a birthday you are no longer here. I have always loved my birthday and other people’s birthdays. I love to celebrate people. For me, birthdays mean breakfast in bed, gifts, and being loved on by your friends and family. That happens for anyone in my family and close friends, not just me. My hubby knows I love my birthday and has let me turn it into a birthday month. However, I have tried to do something different this year and that’s celebrate every day.
I really want to celebrate life and not take advantage of it. Every day so far this year I have done something small just to celebrate me/life. I found that the days were running together, then the weeks, months, and even years. I needed to slow things down. A lot of the times my moment of just me is sitting outside with the dogs, feeling the sun and listening to music that makes me feel happy to be alive. The other day I listened to a whole album. I have no idea the last time I did that. For me, celebrating me/life isn’t about a party, it’s about being thankful that I am still here and enjoying every moment of it. Feeling the aches and pains of my muscles from my workout makes me happy. Things that use to bother me, now make me happy. Getting a phone call from a family member or friend makes me smile. I used to wish people would just text, but slowing down to talk to someone is so much better. One day we wont be able to talk anymore and I never want to miss that chance. Starting today, I hope you can start celebrating you/life daily and Find The Good In It.
Mask
Good Morning Sunshines! “How long will it take before people stop being polite and start getting real?” – Real World
What kind of mask do you wear? We all have them; sometimes we have several, depending on who we are with. For years I wore a mask of a happy marriage. We would fight, a lot of the time it was physical. So, when I told people I was getting a divorce, no one understood. I was lying to people for years to protect myself and him. I wore a mask as a teen to hide myself from almost everyone. My mom had walked out on me when I was 15 because she needed to get help for her drug addiction, leaving me to live on my own. The only person who knew was my boyfriend and eventually his mom. It wasn’t till I was 17, almost 18, that the state found out and sent me to go live with my dad. It’s crazy the life we can live behind these masks.
As I was talking to a group of people the other day about the masks we wear, someone said something that struck a nerve with me. “What am I doing that people aren’t comfortable enough to take down their mask?” I really try not to wear a mask anymore and be transparent with people. I want people to know who I am. I also want to be able to pour into people and love on them so they feel comfortable taking down their mask. I challenge you to look at your mask and the people you surround yourself with and see who and where you can take down your mask around. Find people who will except you and help you Find The Good In Your Life.
Who Are You?
Good Morning Sunshines! I’m back! My daughter is married! The wedding was amazing and I have recovered. I’m looking forward to talking with all of you again.
We are all created to be individuals. So why do we compare ourselves to others? How boring would the world be if we all looked and acted the same? In my 20’s and early 30’s I really did compare myself a lot to my friends, the women I’d pass on the street, and even people I saw in the movies. I was never satisfied with my clothing size, the “things” I could do (because I wanted to be gifted or talented like others) even my personality. I wished I was different. I have a loud laugh and I’m very animated. I tried not to overdo it around most people, worried they won’t accept me for who I really am.
I’m not sure when the mindset change was, but I do remember reading…..
“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” ~ Dr. Seuss
Such wise words! I was about 35 when I decided I would live my life out loud. I have a lot to say. I really have gone through a lot and I believe our tests are our testimonies, so I decided I would start liking those things I wanted to change. I started caring less and less about other people’s opinion about what I was doing in my life. I remember the first time I put down a book I had started reading and said to my self, “I am not enjoying this, I’m not going to read it.” That was huge for me. I have walked out of movies, left restaurants and even stopped hanging around people who were no longer bringing happiness to my life. I no longer had the need for everyone’s approval because I now had my own. I know for some this can be hard in a world of “likes” and “friends”. My hope for you today is that you will, Find The Good In You.
Rare and Beautiful Treasures
Good Morning Sunshine! “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” ~Mignon McLaughlin
Yesterday was my husband and my half-year anniversary. Everyday it amazes me how much more I really do love him. Yesterday was a busy day. He worked all day, I did wedding stuff for my daughter, and then we had an appointment. We came home ate and just sat around the table talking. When the kids got home they joined us. We sat around the table just talking and laughing and it truly filled my heart with so much joy. It reminded me of something I had read earlier. I had journaled something after reading my devotional and this is what it said…..
This morning in my devotional I was reading something I’ve read so many times before but until today I never realized how it applies to me and my marriage. I always wonder if others laugh like our family does? Are they as excited as we are to see each other? Do they sit and talk just to know and understand what is happening in their lives and how they feel? I read…
Proverbs 24:3-4; By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.
Our treasures are those moments of laughter and tears as we sit and talk and understand each other. Communication. It’s so important in all relationships. Today, I’d like to challenge you to Find The Good In Your Home.
T.M.I.Friday
Good Morning Sunshines! “When you start to do the things that you truly love, it wouldn’t matter whether it is Monday or Friday; you would be so excited to wake up each morning to work on your passions.” ―
It’s Friday!!! The day where I just let you into too much information about my life. This will probably read more like a diary entry than my normal positive blogs, but here you go….
We have made it through another week and through a month of 2018. January is gone and February is here. Our daughter’s wedding is in 15 days. I haven’t been posting every day because the wedding has taken over. Not in a bad way, but it has defiantly helped me step up my gym time. I also bought a dress that was a half size too small because the size up was too big.
So, let me tell you about this week. We have finalized so much stuff this week for the wedding, we started two Bible studies at our home, been trying to help my mom with stuff in Puerto Rico, trying to finish writing my book, starting a new website, on top of trying to do our “normal” everyday things. I never feel like I really do a lot till I speak to other people. It’s then that people will say, “Wow, you are busy.” To me that’s normal. Today I am getting my hair cut and colored. If you know me I like “fun” colors. With my daughter’s wedding coming up I went “normal” but she has decided she wanted a fun color because it’s more me. I’m excited to have “me hair” for the wedding too. Speaking of the wedding, our son and daughter-in-law will be here in 13 days. That means our amazing granddaughter will be here. My hubby and I are so excited to have her here and love on her.
Well, it’s time to get up and get this day started. Sorry it’s not my normal get up and slay today post but I hope whatever you do today, you will Find The Good In Your Life.
Mondays!
Good Morning Sunshines! “Mondays are tough for those people who don’t know how to spend them cheerfully. Get up and have fun today!” ~ unanimous
Have you ever woken up grumpy and not known why and said, “No one better mess with me today.”? I think we have all had those days. I know Mondays were the worst days for my employees. I’ve had a case of the Mondays before myself. It would usually start on Sunday night. I would start thinking about the week ahead and everything I needed to get done. It was only 3 pm on Sunday but I was already in the next week and no longer enjoying my weekend, my family time. Then come Monday I was moody and did not want to be there. UGH!!! Something needed to change.
I had read a book where the person said to challenge yourself to not have a bad day. Keep telling yourself it’s not a bad day, and to be positive. This took some training but I really did learn how to do this. I would start to get in a “Monday Funk” and I would have to stop myself and think of positive things. I would literally make myself say three positive things right there and then. When you are thinking of the blessings in your life it’s hard to think about the negative.
These days, Mondays are my favorite day of the week. I try to have it as a day I look forward to by meeting a girlfriend for coffee, going to the gym, and prepping for the rest of the week. I very rarely have bad days anymore. I will stop and realize I am not having a bad day, I am having a bad moment. That moment in my day will not be my full day, it is just something that’s happening right now that I will need to move past. Don’t let the bad moments dictate your day. Find The Good In Your Day.
Banner Blindness
Hello Sunshines! “It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” ~Henry David Thoreau
How many of us ignore the ads that are on our social media these days? Crazy how we talk about something or look up something, but then we quickly start to ignore them again. This is banner blindness. But what about in our everyday life? Do we start to go blind too? Maybe not blind, but just don’t notice the change that’s happening. A friend gets a haircut, you don’t notice. The gas station you always go to changes names but you don’t notice. We get so caught up in our everyday life that we don’t stop and look around us and notice the changes that are happening in the world around us.
I have rose bushes outside my front door. Every day when I leave the house I will literally stop and smell the roses. I do that because when I was working 12 hour plus days I got so caught up in my work I forgot there was a world going on outside. One day I was going into work late, when I walked outside and noticed these beautiful roses. These rose bushes had been there as long as we had lived in the house, but I didn’t notice them because I would leave so early and come home late, my sights focused on my next task. But now when I leave my house and smell these roses, it reminds me to stop and notice the world around me. I don’t want to be blind to the world around me anymore. I want to notice not just the simple beautiful roses, but the people in need on the corner. I want to help others Find The Good In Their Life.
It’s Not In The Budget
Good Afternoon Sunshines! “The budget is not just a collection of numbers, but an expression of our values and aspirations.” ~ Jacob Lew
Have you ever said “It’s not in my budget,” or “I don’t have time for that?” I found out it’s never in my budget or I don’t have time for it if it’s not a priority to me. Our daughter’s wedding is coming up and the money we could have used a million other ways is being used to pay for a wedding because it is what is important to us. I pay for a gym membership because my health is important to me. I spend time reading books and listening to podcasts every day because growing and learning is important to me. However, I have had people tell me, “You should really watch this new show. It’s amazing!” The next time I see them they would ask, “What did you think?” To be honest, I haven’t had the time to watch it. Why didn’t I have I have the time? It’s because it wasn’t important to me. Not that my friend wasn’t important, it was that my time was important and I didn’t want to spend it on something that I was not sure I would enjoy.
Our time and resource are precious, and we need to be careful how we spend them. You will very rarely ever catch me doing something I really just don’t want to do; and if I am, it’s because the person I am with means more to me than that thing I am doing. When my kids were teenagers I stopped saying “It’s not in our budget,” and started telling them the truth, “That is not a priority.” As as example, they asked “Why don’t we have a tv and cable like my friends?” This truly was not, and still is not, a priority for us. Explaining to a teenager (and some adults) why we don’t have these things may be annoying, but I believe in being transparent about my life, so we would explain, “We don’t have time to sit in front of the tv, so why would we spend money on something we don’t use?” When I have asked my boss for a raise for an employee and he would say, “It’s not in the budget”, what I really wish he would have said was, “It’s not a priority,” because I would see money being spent in other places that to me was not a priority. I say ALL that to say this…. before you say it’s not in the budget or you don’t have time, be honest with yourself and others. Is this just not a priority? When you’re making the decision to spend your time or resources on something, make sure you ask yourself is it’s helping you Find The Good In Your Life.
Making Memories
Good Morning Sunshines! “Children have neither past nor future; they enjoy the present, which very few of us do.” ~ Jean de la Bruyere
This year for Christmas my daughter decided to turn my family movies into DVD from VHS (best gift this year). We were watching a home movie of when they were little and we were visiting my mom and family in Puerto Rico. As I was watching this video, besides thinking my kids were the cutest, I couldn’t stop thinking I was a jerk. My son kept asking if he could look through the video camera and I kept telling him no because I didn’t want it to break. It really wouldn’t have hurt anything if I allowed him to look through it, but I didn’t want to risk it. Then I started thinking about how, as my kids were growing up, I was always worried about keeping a clean house and being worried about what others would say if they stopped by. I remember my kids asking me to play with them but I didn’t have the time because I always had something to do. If you’re a parent you can probably look back and remember these moments as well. I know I will never get those moments back, but I can learn from them.
Thankfully I am a grandparent now, also a godmother, and aunt. I almost get a do-over because I realized the blessing is in the journey. Being worried about a clean house and other people’s opinions aren’t what matter, but rather making memories. When a friend calls I answer because, most likely, I’m going to laugh with that person on the other end. I’m no longer worried about what others will say if they come over and see the lived-in house I have, but more worried about the memories I will make with people and Finding The Good In Life.
Me, Myself and I
Good Morning Sunshines! “Music was my refuge. I would crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.” ~ Maya Angelou
Have you ever played a song on repeat because it was speaking to you like nothing and nobody could. I have had a few moments like that, but the one I remember most that changed me was Friday night at home by myself while going through a divorce. My kids were with their dad that weekend. I had some co-workers who throughout the year would challenge me to go out to lunch or dinner by myself, go shopping by myself, and I had accomplished these things. But this Friday night I was having a “get real” with myself moment, letting go of some hurt. The radio was on and a song came on that made me stop and just listen, “Private Party” by India Arie. After the song went off I YouTubed it and played it over and over. I was learning how to love me. I danced around the house listening to this song. I really looked in the mirror and saw me again. I had lost me. I became who everyone else wanted me to be. Yes, I was a positive person, but I didn’t know who else I was. If you have ever seen Runaway Bride you’ll understand this next question I asked myself, “How do you like your eggs? Over medium.” I started asking myself questions I would ask someone while trying to get to know them. I needed to get to know me again. While listening to this song on repeat, dancing around the house, laughing, crying, I realized I am going to be ok. I had just gone through one of the hardest years of my life but everything was working out. I realized I loved me, and more importantly I liked me.
There are days I will play that song and just look in the mirror at all of me and do a check in. We will call our moms, grandparents, kids and friends to check on them, but when is the last time you checked in on you? Seriously, look at yourself and remind yourself who you are. This isn’t just for women, but men too. We get so lost in the everyday and thinking about everything we have to do for everyone else that we forget to stop and remember me, myself and I and Find The Good In Our Life.
Finding Balance
Good Morning Sunshines! “Never get so busy making a living, that you forget to make a life.” ~ Dolly Parton
A few years ago I had two strokes due to stress. I was so focused on my job and didn’t understand balance that I worked myself almost to death. I had a co-worker who, when she would travel to different offices, she would enjoy it by going out and having dinner, met the people in the area, made friends and still got her work done. On the other hand, I would be in the office for 12 hours a day, eat at my desk, and then go back to the hotel and work some more. I felt guilty if I enjoyed myself too much when traveling for work. I was there to work. This was my chance to get ahead and get extra done without being interrupted. I wished I could be like my co-worker, but I had a job to do and wasn’t there for fun.
This was not healthy. I burnt myself out. I took a break from work for a while and came back ready to have balance. I would fly out on Monday, back on Friday, making myself go out to eat at least once while I was traveling. Still not able to find the balance I needed because I wasn’t putting my health first and at least working out in the morning, I gained 20 pounds. My only exercise was walking through the airport. Even with me trying to find the balance by going out to eat once became a task and not something I was enjoying. I loved my job and traveling was fun. I enjoyed the people I worked with. Even on the weeks I wasn’t traveling I was still in the office for 12 hours and working when I got home. I had another health scare in March when I had my yearly. We thought the breast cancer was back. Nothing like a health scare to make you reevaluate what is most important to you.
As much as I loved my job, I love my family more, and I knew something had to change. I gave my notice to my job and decided it was time to find balance. As I was searching for balance I had to decide what was most important. For me it was my health, my family, my church, the community, and helping others. I started working out almost every day and my hubby tries to go with me when he can. We will sit and eat breakfast together and talk in the morning. I volunteer full-time at my church, and I get to spend time with people by going to lunch and being there for people who need me or just need someone. I lead a bible study and we go into the community and give back, feeding the homeless or thanking the firefighters by bringing them goodies. I decided that writing was one way (there are other ways too) I would help others and hope they would learn from my past challenges and be able to Find The Good In Their Life.
Happy Birthday!
Good Morning Sunshines! A daughter is just a little girl who grows up to be your best friend.
Today is my daughter’s birthday! (I told her I would write about her today) I call her “My Pretty”. She is truly a blessing in my life. I think about the day she was born and remember how she looked like a little doll. She was so perfect. I would dress her up in little pink dresses. She would love when I would sing to her, “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey. You’ll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.” As she grew up she realized I really couldn’t sing. The teenage years weren’t too bad except for age 14, when I loved her but didn’t like her (I’ll tell y’all about that another day). She tested me in so many different ways. Looking back and hearing other people’s stories, she wasn’t really that bad. Both of my children told me everything… sometimes too much. However, I always knew where they were. The lines of communication have always been open and they were always allowed to express their feelings. Ciara got married in August to a nice young man, Deon. It was a very small wedding. Just us, his parents and our pastors. We are having a big ceremony in February because I told her she might regret not having the big wedding if she didn’t. Planning has been a lot of work, but she is worth it. We had her bridal shower this past weekend and then she went with friends to Vegas to the bachelorette party. I love hearing the stories of her and her friends. Oh, to be that young again. There are days I get sad because both of my kids are married and I feel like they don’t need me any more. But there is nothing like your daughter asking you, “Can we go get lunch and go shopping?” I love the relationship we have now. I don’t have to fuss at her any more. She has become my friend. We sit and talk about so many things. It’s hard to believe that little angel I held in my arms grew up to be my best friend. She truly is A Good In My Life.
Friday Fun Day
Good Morning Sunshines! Fairytailes can come true. They can happen to you…..
I was asked by a few readers to share a little bit more about me, so I thought that Fridays would be that day that I share a fun, personal story about me or my family.
I wanted to tell you one of my favorite stories. My son and his wife just celebrated their 3rd wedding anniversary. I want to share how they met. On the first day of kindergarten my son, who was 5 years old at the time, walked into his classroom and went to his cubby to put away his things when the little girl next to him said, “Hi, my name is Gabrielle, but you can call me Gabby.” He said, “My name is Caleb. Call me Caleb.” She asked him to be friends and they walked away together. I was in awe and said, “That was my son.” The lady next to me said, “That was my daughter.” That lady and I became friends, and we would do everything together with our kids. School had started in August and in October Caleb and I went on a mommy and son date. We were at dinner and he asked me, “How do you know when you found your rib?” I was a little confused, but he explained, “Like Adam and Eve, she was his rib.” I let him know he would date lots of people and one day he would find her when he was all grown up. He said, “No, I think I already found her. It’s Gabby, and I want to take her on a date.” I spoke to her parents and they agreed we could take them “on a date.” We went to the Rugrats movie. Caleb and Gabby were inseparable until her parents became traveling missionaries. Gabby’s mom and I stayed in touch and always tried to be there for each other’s families when there were big events, anniversaries, birthdays, graduations, and weddings. Gabby’s sister was getting married and we all couldn’t go because we had just moved across the country, so we asked Caleb to go. Caleb and Gabby started talking and realized that they were both looking for the same things in life. They had graduated from high school and gone to college and trying to find their way in life. They decided to start dating in September. A few months later they had gone to a friend’s wedding, and when he returned home he let us know he was going to ask Gabby to marry him when she came out for Christmas. On Christmas morning we got to witness these two, who knew at 5 years old they would grow up and get married, get engaged. A few days later when we took Gabby to the airport she just couldn’t leave. She said something at that moment that I have always loved. She said, “I have loved him my whole life, and when you know what you have wanted your whole life is about to come true, you want it to start right away.”
Caleb and Gabby have been married for three years and blessed us with a granddaughter this year. I know this will be very few people’s stories in life, and most people will look for that person for a long time. However, no matter if it’s a person or a dream you’ve been waiting for, it’s time for it to start. We had planned the wedding for 6 months out, but Gabby wanted her dream to start now, so in five days we planned a wedding and they started their lives together. Today is that day that you say, “I am done waiting. It’s time for my dream to start right now!” Start your dream. Find The Good In Your Life.
Letting Go
I had a little challenge getting the post out this morning due to a sinus issue and a Benadryl…..But, it’s never too late to have a good day.
Good Morning Sunshines! “Why should you live in the past when the present already has everything that you need to start a new beginning?” ~ Edmond Mbiaka
Growing up in the 70’s and 80’s is much different than it is now. I remember the night a door-to-door salesman knocked on our door and told us about cassette tapes. He came in and my mom made coffee and got out a snack and we all sat in the living room playing with this new thing. He showed us how we could record and play it back. We talked into it and played it back. Hearing our own voices being played back was very strange. We bought a tape player and a six-pack of cassette tapes. I remember my step-brothers playing tricks on each other with it, whispering things into the recorder and hiding it under beds or in closets. In the 80’s my friends and I would sit and wait for that new song to come out so we could record it and make the perfect mixed tape. Who didn’t love getting a mixed tape? These days my kids make playlists and don’t have to hope the DJ doesn’t talk through the first part of the song.
There are so many memories that shape us into who we are today, good or bad. Sometimes we hold onto these things so much it will paralyze us in our present. It won’t allow us to move forward into what we are meant to be doing. I know it can be hard to let go of the past. Whether it’s living in the “glory days” of our youth or the pain that haunts our dreams/nightmares. There are days where I have to remind myself that I am not that little girl who was abandoned and not everyone will leave me. That I am loved. Yes, even I have insecurities, but I look at them differently now. I was once told, “You can never have a better past, but you can make a better future.” That is what I did with all the pain and hurt of the past. I decided to Find The Good In My Life. What do you need to let go of so you can have the future you deserve?
Find The Good In Your Life 