Tag: Kids

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming

I Said F*@# It! But Like, The Real Word.

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Hello Sunshines! “Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out?” – Ian Wallace

 

Have you ever felt like you had to hide who you are? I have, and because of it I dimmed my own light. I swore years ago I would not allow others to make me feel less than, but somewhere along the way I did. I felt like I had to dim my light as to not take away from some others or to upset others. When you walk into a new space and there is already a “flow” going, you try to slip into others’ flow so you don’t disrupt things. I’m a bit of a “boulder,” not a pebble, but because I didn’t want to change things I shrank myself. Do you know how much you take away from a boulder when you become a pebble? Too much! As a matter of fact, you may not even recognize yourself anymore by doing so. Another thing I did by shrinking myself was not share my joy because I was worried about hurting others’ feelings. Let me explain them both.

Let me start with what I mean by hiding my joy. I have told you I was married before. Well, we still have mutual “friends,” and any time I said or did anything it would get back to my ex. This became hard on me, so I almost felt like I had to live my life in secret. I also never wanted to cause my ex any more stress or (not sure of the best word here) anything bad, but it seemed that the memories of me hurt him so I dimmed my light/happiness and things I wanted to share because of it. Why? Because I don’t like hurting people (a.k.a people pleaser). I did this with friends who had bad marriages. I wouldn’t talk about how awesome and amazing my marriage is because I didn’t want to make them feel bad. But inside all I wanted to do was share with everyone that I had an amazing life, great husband, amazing kids, and I am happy. But people would make comments like “no one is really that happy, that’s just your instagram life, why do you always brag?” Seriously, I am that happy. We are that much in love. And my kids really are that awesome and they are our best friends now and I’m proud of that…ok I digress….

So, becoming a pebble when you are a boulder. I am thankful I have been able to work in Corporate America. I was also one of the only women sitting at a table full of men. When it came to the pissing contest, I had to “sit down” (pun intended). It did not matter that I came in with more experience than most people at the table or room, it was going to be their way because “this is the way it has always been done.” When sharing new ideas of how to change things or make them more efficient you are told you are confrontational because you give push back. My favorite is “you are so passionate, but can you bring it down some.” And even better, being told you are “too corporate” in every day life when you try to bring order. So I gave up, shrank myself, sit in quietness because I get tired of trying until I no longer have any passion because I have become a grain of sand or my light is about to go out. So what do you do….What did I do?

I said F*@# it! No seriously I did. I think I said the real word as a matter of fact. I let the things I was once passionate about go because I wasn’t able to be me. I have always known you can be a leader without having the title of a leader. You can influence people more by just being you. I tried so hard to fit in because I didn’t see other people like me, until I did. I asked them, “How do you not dull your shine?” They let me know it’s because they get around others who are like-minded. They don’t always have the same vision, but they cheer them on none the less. YES! “Where do I get some of these people?” I thought. They let me know they would show themselves. Boy did they! There were people I thought for sure would be in my corner rooting me on but they were like ghost. I have barely heard “boo” from them and I see them weekly. Then there were people I hadn’t talked to in years who were cheering for me harder than my own family. Seriously, my heart couldn’t handle the love. Slowly, I started to see the old me again. I had to let go of some past hurts and disappointments before I fully saw who I am and what I should be doing. (Yes, I’m about to plug my stuff right here with no apologies). I finished that book, and book two is almost done. I decided it was time that I didn’t hide the fact that I have been so blessed and started a Vlog with my husband. We are far from perfect but we have a pretty incredible marriage and how we got here I feel like a lot of people could learn from it. Also, I’m happy. Why should I hide that? I’m sorry (not sorry) that my happiness makes you uncomfortable. I don’t feel I should have to apologize for it. I know what you are thinking, “This has been you dulled?” YES! And if you have dulled your light, I’m here to help you like I was helped. I found it (again) and it’s time you also Find The Good In Your Life! Shine on!

family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

Red Sparkly Shoes

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IMG_3375-1Good Morning Sunshines! “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” Mark Twain

I have these beautiful butterfly plates that I love to use but my husband only wants me to use on “special occasions.” This is where we differ. When my daughter was little she had these red sparkly shoes that she loved to wear. She had family members that when she went with them would ask that I not allow her to wear those shoes because they did not match what she was wearing. Trust me, this was hard for me because I was a parent that always had to make sure my kids were clean, clothes ironed, and hair done before they left the house. My kids had to be the “put together” kids. However, when it came to these red shoes I always made an exception. These shoes brought her so much joy. I would ask her, “Why do you ‘need’ to wear those shoes, when you have so many other shoes?” Her answer was always the same, “They are special shoes, they make me feel so pretty.” How was I going to argue with that. Explaining to a three year old that you are pretty no matter what you wear just wasn’t cutting it. (A little side note, my nickname for my daughter is also Pretty… she is My Pretty.)

I had an Aunt Marie. One summer I was sent to go stay there after my Uncle Al had passed away. I always thought she was odd with the way she did certain things, until I got older. Aunt Marie had this beautiful china we would eat on, and we used linen napkins. She had her friends come over to play cards and they were always dressed up. We would go to the store dressed in a nice dress. I remember sitting in the living room reading a book and hearing her friends talk about how nice it was to get dressed up when they would come over because it wasn’t something people did anymore. I asked my Aunt why she enjoyed getting dressed up. She said every day was special and she didn’t want to wait for a special occasion to get dressed up or to eat on her china when she could do it every day. I asked her then how will you know when it’s a really special occasion. She just smiled and said, “Don’t worry about that, people will tell you.” I never really understood that until lately.

We all have those friends that do something and we’ll say, “They are so extra.” I am sure people say that about me often, but that is ok. See, I want to be the person who uses her china (if I had any) for every day plates, or wear my sparkly shoes because they make me feel pretty. (I do have some but mine are pink) I want to be the person who makes you stop and think, like my Aunt Marie did for me. I have said this a 100 times and so has so many other people in your lives, “Tomorrow is not promised.” I do not live my life in a fear of “what if I die tomorrow,” but in the place of “I did everything I could today.” I enjoyed today. Today I lived my best life. I may have to work, maybe even at a job I don’t really like, but before work, after work, on my lunch break, I did something that bettered my today. I am pursuing the life I want. So, I will eat toast off of my butterfly plates. I will take a bath almost every night and use my Lush bath bombs, and if I have a not so good day, I may even use a whole bath bomb and bubbles and dip down to my nose as the bubbles consume me like I would when I was a kid. I want to be “extra.” I want to live my extra best life every day. I also want you to live your extra best life. Today is the day you Find The Good In Your Life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Healthy Eating · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

September Is The New January

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NPP Delta II LaunchHello Sunshines! “Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.” Meister Eckhart

Happy New Year!!! I know you’re thinking I’ve lost my mind. It’s been 9 months since you made your 2018 New Years resolution….How’s it going? I know I fell off track some. I said I would write daily and post weekly. Well, y’all know that didn’t happen. I was going to start Vlogging… ummm, I’m scared of the camera. I wanted to work out at least 5 times a week and lose 20 pounds. LOL, now I only need to lose 25 pounds. I wanted to finish my book by May… well, I didn’t finish it till July.

What were your goals in January? How did you get off track? Was it the holidays, spring break, summer, vacations, the kids? This is why I said September is the new January. The kids are all back in school tomorrow. The next big holiday is 2 1/2 months away. Think of all the things you can do if you truly focus for the next 2 months. You’ll also be ahead of all those people who don’t start till January. Why do we wait to start? I know so many people feel like Monday is the best time to start because it’s the start to a new week. However, I’m going to challenge you to just start or pick back up where you left off. Don’t wait till next Monday, start tomorrow. Heck, start today! Whatever the goal is that you had in mind for this year it can still be accomplished, this year.

Tonight I want you to write down your to do list for tomorrow. Make sure to include those things you wanted for yourself. You may have to get up earlier. I promise you if you get up before everyone else to do what you want to do, it will set the mood in a positive way for you. Tomorrow morning when your alarm goes off, do not hit the snooze. I want you to count backwards… 5,4,3,2,1 and then get up like a rocket ship (listen to Mel Robbins- Outsmart Your Brain to fully understand why this works) You have a 5 second window to make decisions to change your life. Tomorrow morning will you decide today is the day or will you continue to let your dreams not come to life in 2018?

September is my January! I am writing again. My first children’s book is done. The second will be complete by the end of the year and I have other things in the works too. What is it that you said you were going to do but got sidetracked? Really, I want to know! That business you wanted to start, DO IT! I’m waiting to hear how you decided that this 4th quarter was going to be the best part of your year. I believe in you and I believe that this September you will Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

It’s Not Too Late

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Good Morning Sunshines! “It’s never too late to be what you might have been.” George Elliot

Imagine you are 100 years old and you are laying in bed taking your last breaths and standing around your bed was not your family and friends but instead, it was all of your hopes, dreams, visions and talents you were given but never used. The books you never wrote because you were too worried about what others would think. The business you didn’t start because no one else could understand your vision, so they talked you out of your dream. The trip you never took because it was “never the right time.” The family you never had because you needed everything to be “just right” before you could do that. How would you feel knowing these things were going to die with you? I know this might sound a bit morbid, but the truth is that no one can do what you can do.

I lived in limbo for years of the things I wanted to do for myself. I would use my kids as an excuse. I would tell myself, “When they are grown up I will do the things I want to do.” Well they grew up, got married, and I still waited. What was I was waiting for? A few years ago when I had my strokes and was working way too much I knew, this is not the life I want to be living. What was going to change and how was I going to do it? I quit my job and started writing my first of many children’s books, but just couldn’t finish them. I have been doing other things too. Started a new company with my hubby, but he does most of the work for that. I help when I can. Very active at church. I spend most of my time there. However, knowing what my “calling” is and not fulfilling it was really getting to me.

So, what was I going to do? I had to think what made me come alive? What did I want to be when I grew up? I know this might sound funny to some, but I loved the show Sex and the City. To me it was a great show about friendships, and anyone who knows me knows I love, love and friendship. I’ll watch anything about friendships (including cartoons). So, while watching this show I would love watching Sarah Jessica Parker’s character Carrie Bradshaw. She would write an article for a newspaper and every time she did it made something in me stir. I knew I wanted/needed to write. Yes, every time I write my blog I think of Carrie Bradshaw. My articles will probably never be like hers, but I love the writing. I also knew I needed to write the children’s books because my kids would tell me when they were little they couldn’t find my stories in the library and they needed to know what happened next. So, I did it. I started writing my blog, channeling my inner Carrie Bradshaw. But, the most exciting thing, I finished my first book. Doing some rewrites right now, but it’s done. The moral to this story, it’s never too late, unless you are laying on your death-bed, to follow your dreams and live out the life you always believed you should have. What makes you come alive? What do you want to be when you grow up? Now it’s your turn to start living for you and Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Healthy Eating · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

Discipline

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Good Morning Sunshines! “Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments.” ~Jim Rohn

I have been writing a piece called being a crockpot in a microwave world. I hated it! I deleted it! I also cleared out the other 12 that I haven’t published because they just weren’t good enough. Have you ever just been working on something and said “NO!” I have in the past, been working on a project for months and trashed it and started over when It was due in the next few days. Seriously I have no idea where this is going today…

Discipline, I am not a fan of the definition that is given in the dictionary, they all sound so harsh (the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience😧). I think of discipline as practicing a specific desired behavior.

I had to have mind shift the last few days. I had a “belly ache” last weekend. You may think that’s not a big deal. Well, when you have the GI challenges like I do, you know, this is a big deal. I did it to myself. I won’t tell you how many doughnuts I ate, but it was just wrong. After being hospitalized for this almost a year ago you would think I had learned. But apparently I needed one more reminder before getting it. I would try to start eating healthy, but then I would say “I lack discipline” to give up the sugar, cake, donuts, sweets in general. I was listening to a podcast and, what was it on, but discipline. As I was listening to this I realized, I didn’t lack discipline. I am disciplined. I get up every morning at about the same time, with no alarm clock needed, I read, I journal, I have a To Do List, I know my Why, I workout several times a week, I get my work done in a timely manner. So what the heck!?!? I have literally spoken to groups of people about being disciplined but never when it came to this… eating healthy.

So, what happened you asked? I had a wake-up call. After listening to the podcast on discipline, I listened to Warren Buffet in one of his podcasts. He was asking the kids, “If I told you I would buy you any car you wanted and when you left today it would be outside waiting on you when you left, you would ask me what the catch is. The catch is, it’s the only car you get for the rest of your life. How would you take care of it?” The kids were saying they would take great care of it, getting regular oil changes, putting the best gas in it, and take the best care of it. Then Warren Buffet had a drop the mic moment, he said, “Well, I’m here to tell you this is the only body you get, take care of it!”  I realized it wasn’t that I wasn’t disciplined, it was I was lacking my WHY. I have always had a why when I do anything. Yes, I knew this was my only body I would get, but hearing it like that was a smack in the face. What was going to happen when I had grandkids who lived here and were over every day and they wanted me to run around with them? I know that when I eat sugar the inflammation that happens in my body is serious. So, I found my why and I decided to make a change. I know I can be disciplined in all areas of my life, including food. Yup, it’s hard just like it was waking up every morning and following my morning routine. But I found when you want something bad enough, you will find a way. I want to be healthy and be an example for my family and others. It’s why I do anything I do, to help others. I always want to help you Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

T.M.I. Friday – Me

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Image-1-3Good Morning Sunshines! “I’m a big believer that your life is basically a sum of all the choices you make. The better your choices, the better the opportunity to lead a happy life.” ~Karen Salmansohn

T.M.I. Friday – Me. So the blog I wrote yesterday is not what I decided to publish today. In my “to be published” are 9 things that I’ve written lately and then changed my mind for whatever reason, deciding not hit the publish button. So, what am I going to talk about if it wasn’t that bit from yesterday…..

Three rules I try to live by….One: At an early age I remember my grandma telling me, “If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.” Little did I know she was quoting Thumper from Bambi. However, this rule has stuck with me most of my life. Did you know it’s possible to see something on social media and not reply to it? It is! You can scroll right on by. Trust me, I have written out my fair share of “I can’t believe you just said that” responses and then deleted them. Mainly because I can still hear my grandma asking me “Was that nice?”

Two: Never Mess With Anyone’s Family or Money. In one of our business ventures we weren’t making a profit. We made enough to make sure our employees could get paid but not really us. This was a struggle. Knowing that one day this wouldn’t be a challenge we continued to push forward. We also knew if you treated people the way you would like to be treated, most of them would do the same, so we were great to our employees. Needing to leave the store early one night, we asked one of our people if she could close up for us. “Sure, no problem,” she said. Well the next day we get to the store and find out she had sex in our back room and cleaned our petty cash to order food. We left her alone for what should have been 15 minutes and she was there for hours doing us wrong. Needless to say, she was fired. We didn’t really have the money to pay her to stay longer, but we sacrificed and took from our family to make sure she had what she needed, only to have her “screw” us over. All I could think was, “You took from my family.” I had to refer to rule one in order to not call her out of her name and stick to the facts.

Three: Always be Positive, Uplifting and Encouraging. I guess this kind of goes with rule one, but I think it deserves its own rule. We never know what someone is going through, so to say something positive, uplifting or encouraging to them could really change their day. But not only to others, but also ourselves. When my kids were little, and probably still now, if they said anything mean about themselves or their sibling I would make them say 3 nice things. I know for all the negative that we hear it takes a lot more positive to undo the negative. So if you are like I was, saying things are negative about yourself, you need to say at least 3 positives about yourself to overcome that. What you say to yourself can be even more damaging than what that bully in your life would say. It’s ok to say you are amazing, you are an overcomer, you are going to kick butt in this new business (even if others say you can’t, show them you can). You do not need to believe what others, or even you, have said in the past. You can rewrite your own story. I have! (I’ll save that soap box for another day) However, today as you get to know me a little better, I hope I help you Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · technoligy · Uncategorized

What Are You Doing With Your Time?

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clockGood Morning Sunshines! “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” ~ Steve Jobs

Time is no respecter of person. It doesn’t matter if you are rich or poor, you get the same amount. You can’t buy more time. You can’t borrow from tomorrow’s and you can’t take back what you “waisted” yesterday. No matter what happens or what family you are born into, you get the same 24 hours as everyone else. How are you using it?

This morning when Elon Musk or Warren Buffett woke up they were not granted more hours in their day because of how productive they were in the past. I do not know them, but something tells me they probably didn’t binge watch something on Netflix yesterday.

While I was researching how different people use their time I found a common denominator for those who are most productive and wealthy. It’s how they were using their time that really mattered. I don’t know about you, but I had always heard, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” or “Sleep is for broke people.” Actually, that is quite opposite of what I was reading and the podcast I watched. “They” (those who are where I want to be) said sleep was important. You can only make so many good decisions a day and without a good 6 to 8 hours of sleep a night you may make a costly mistake. Going to bed early so you can wake up early was actually recommended. The most productive hours in the day are first thing in the morning, if you use them right. So I listened to what they said and started using my morning time more wisely. I know I’ve talked about this before but I think it’s worth repeating. First thing in the morning, give to you. For me that looks like, reading my bible, praying, journaling, reading, writing my blog or working on my book and then working out. That is my first few hours of my day. I was feeling pretty good about how I was spending my mornings and my routine. Then things got a little trickier.

What did they do with the rest of their day? It looked like a lot of research, meetings, making decisions, returning emails (but only twice a day, that is important because you can get caught up answering emails every 5 minutes depending on what you do) giving back to the community, investing in people, teaching, learning. I got excited! Investing in people, that’s what I do! How were they doing that? One of the things that all these people said and had in common was they are always reading and learning from others so they can pour into others. Yes! They all spent at least an hour a day reading and learning from others. Even Warren Buffett said he still learns something new every day. The other thing that these people had in common was not only had they established a morning routine, they had a night routine. For some it was tuning out the world and reading and writing things they were thankful for that day. One thing they all said was before bed they would journal down their goals, and make a “To Do” list for the next day. This always kept their why in front of them and helped keep their dream alive.

For some people being a millionaire may not be your thing. I have a friend whose goal right now is to be the best mom and wife she can be. As she and I talked about all this for the past few weeks, she set goals on how she would do this and she saw a change in her house and family. She found there was less stress in the house. What had changed? She was taking the first and last part of the day for her and not feeling guilty that she needed a moment. She said becoming a morning person was a huge change for her, but she found that it made a difference when she started they day off right. Setting a routine for her kids and herself helped make things run smoother. She says she is able to be a better wife because she isn’t feeling so stressed, and when her husband comes home she is able to enjoy that time with him and not feel like she needs to be rescued from the chaos that was her life.

My point, time is precious. How are you using it? Do you need help on how to manage your time? I’m here to help you, if you need it. We are all given the same amount. Are you going to use it to help you Find The Good In Your Life?

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Inspirational · Uncategorized

T.M.I. Friday – My Hubby

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Good Morning Sunshines! “Let a wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.” ~ Martin Luther

T.M.I. Friday….Let me tell ya about my Hubby! He is my best friend and one of the strongest men I’ve ever known. We fell in love because of the common goals we had in life and our love for poker. It amazes me how he will say “I’m going to do ______”, and do it. His will power is amazing. I will get jealous because he has no problem giving up food or starting something new and sticking to it. Discipline is not something he lacks. I’m very attracted to his mind. I have been told that this is called sapiosexual. (A sapiosexual is someone who finds sexual stimulation from the way a person’s mind works. It means you literally are attracted to intelligence.) Yup, I find it very sexy!

One of the things I love most is his heart. He says he lacks empathy and there has been times where this has been shown, but with strangers. However when it comes to family and close friends I have seen him love unconditionally. One of my favorite things he does is, when I’m having a moment because I have given out so much he will speak words of affirmation over me. We call this “Good Stuff”. There are times when I will come up to him and say, “Babe, I need good stuff,” and he will speak back life into me. He will say things like, “You are an amazing wife, friend and mother. I love how you love on people.” Things like that. I am thankful that I have someone who will speak love into me, because the world does not always do that.

I still get butterflies when I know he’s on his way home, like when I knew he was on his way over to pick me up for a date. I still see fireworks every time we kiss and my knees go weak. When he holds my hand it calms me like nothing and no one could. We call our bed our island. When we are there nothing and no one can get to us. This is our safe place where we can have conversations, “pillow talk,” that might be hard to have, but in this safe place we have made life changing decisions. I am so thankful that I have my best friend to walk through life with. I get excited thinking about all the places we will go together and all the things we get to do together. I plan to live to be 101 and when we are looking back at our lives and still holding hands I will forever be grateful that I did it all with him. My hubby is some of the best Good In My Life.

 

family · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

I Am Thankful

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Good Morning Sunshines! “When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” ~ Willie Nelson

I am so thankful for another day. I have started writing this at least 5 times and deleted it because all I can think is I am so thankful for another day. Why am I so thankful? I am thankful for another day to try again. I am thankful for my family. I am thankful that I get to go spend some time with some amazing ladies today. I am thankful that I get to do laundry today. I am thankful that I can call my mom later and check on her. I am thankful that I learned from my mistakes of yesterday. I am thankful I woke up next my hubby. I am thankful for friendships that have turned into “family”. I am thankful I have a place to call home. I am thankful I live in Cali. I am thankful for my animals. I am thankful for social media. I am thankful that I have time for others. I am thankful for those quiet moments when I can just sit and appreciate all that I am thankful for. I am thankful for my daughters laugh. I am thankful when I get a call or text from my son. I am thankful for my granddaughter. I am thankful I have my husbands hand to hold. I am thankful I get to go workout today. I am thankful for my marriage. I am thankful for pillow talk with my hubby.

I could go on but I won’t. Most of the times we count our blessings when we just had something major happen, good or bad. I had neither of those things happen, I just woke up feeling so thankful. I couldn’t hold it in. Whatever happens today I will remember, I am thankful. I am thankful for you who is reading this. I am most thankful for all of us who are walking this walk together to Find The Good In Our Lives.

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

Don’t Wish It Away

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dancing in the rainGood Morning Sunshines! “The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn the past, worry about the future or to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” ~ Buddha

Have you ever found yourself wishing for the next thing? When I was a child, I couldn’t wait to be a teenager . When I was a teen, I couldn’t wait to be out of high school. When I was single, I couldn’t wait to be married. When I had one child, I couldn’t wait for more. When I had to get up in the middle of the night to feed them, I couldn’t wait for them to sleep through the night. Now that I can look back on it, I believe I couldn’t wait for them to get older too. My heart sinks at the thought of how much time I waisted on wishing for the next thing and not enjoying the now.

I look at my family as they are growing up and are married, one with a baby, and wish I had that time back to sit on the floor and play with them instead of wishing they were older and could help me clean. I think about my friends who I don’t get to spend time with because we all have our own lives and some of us don’t live close by. I remember my grandma telling me to enjoy the moment because they will go by so fast. It is now that I truly understand this.

What am I trying to say? I challenge you to stop wishing away the day but instead embrace it. Take every part of your day and remember you will not get this day back. Go outside today and feel the sunshine on your face. If it’s raining, go outside and dance in the rain. Don’t worry about tomorrow or even the next hour, just be in the moment. Today, sit a little longer with a friend, hold your baby while they nap, call someone you miss. For those of you who enjoy your work, (that’s awesome) remember that. When it’s getting you frustrated and you want to throw in the towel, remember why you started doing what you are doing. Remind yourself of your why! Tomorrow is a new day and you may fail today at these things and wish you could be doing something else, and that’s ok. Keep trying every day till you can Find The Good In Your Life and in every moment.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

No More Hurt

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Good Morning Sunshines! Today’s blog was very hard for me to write. There is only a handful of people in my life who know the things I am about to share with you. It is taking a lot for me to open up and be this transparent with you because I hope this part of my story can help someone out there. Please remember the things that happened to you do not define who you are.

How do you talk about the darkest moments in your life? I really don’t know. I remember the first time I talked to anyone about what my life was like and they said “Wow! That sounds like a movie! It doesn’t seem real!” It was real, and I never felt like I could escape it, so I thought I had to find a way out, the only way I knew how, suicide.

My life at eleven and twelve was a total nightmare. My mom was a full-blown alcoholic and drug user. She was married to my step-dad and all they did was fight. Not his fault, it was my moms drinking and drugs. In the 70’s and early 80’s, I’m not sure we knew about drug addiction like we do now. The night things went from bad to nightmare was when my step-dad and step-brother were gone for the weekend and just my mom was home. She had gone to her local bar and brought someone home with her. I turned my music on because I could hear them in the living room. They were listening to music and drinking and Lord knows what else. The next thing I knew a man I never met was in my room. He got into my bed and started touching me. I started crying and yelling for my mom. He laughed and said she was knocked out and that she had said he could come into my room. The things that happened to me should never happen to any child. Unfortunately this was the first of many. I remember telling my mom the next day and being so mad at her. She told me that I needed to “grow up and keep my mouth shut.” Whenever she needed a fix and no one was home she would allow these people to come into my room. I remember the day I said no more. I sat in my bathroom up against the door. I saw the razor on the counter. It was a blade from a shaving razor. Back then you would have to open it up and put a new blade in to shave. Well, someone left it out and all I could do was think about not hurting anymore. If I die, she (my mom) would know just what she did to me. I wanted her to hurt as bad as I did. I just wanted to die. As I slit my wrist and started screaming my mom burst into the bathroom. She asked me what the hell I was doing. I yelled “I want to die!” She grabbed a pair of scissors and started to attack me. I raised my hands up to protect myself as she yelled “You want to die, here I’ll kill you!” The scissors puncturing my hands and arms over and over. Finally, something in her snapped and she realized what she was doing. She got up and ran out of the room. I remember hearing her vomiting as I sat in the bathroom with blood all over me. I had grabbed a towel and wrapped my wrist. I was so scared. I had no idea what would happen to me. She called a friend over to look at my hands. We didn’t talk for a few days and I missed school. My mom told me to call my dad and see if I could visit for the summer and that’s what I did. However, things were not sunshine and roses there.

My dad was a very stern man. I didn’t really know him… still don’t. What I knew was he was a Marine, police officer, correctional officer and does not handle weakness well. I had a friend’s brother commit suicide and asked him if I could go to the funeral and he told me only weak people kill themselves and I could not go. I could never tell my dad the nightmare I lived through because he would think I was weak and look down on me more than he already did. My heart was broken. Not feeling safe with either parent and not knowing who I could ever trust with this secret that kept me feeling dirty every day of my life.

I look at my hands and wrist now and can barely see the scars. I remember the day I told my youth pastors wife some of the things I had gone through, testing the waters to see if she was a safe adult. She was! She hugged me and said she was so sorry that I had to go through this. She found a counselor for me to talk to. She found a doctor who made sure I was physically ok. I wish this was all in a short amount of time, but it took me three years to tell anyone what happened. I was fifteen, living back with my mom and just worried that things might repeat them selves, so I needed to find a safe place. Things didn’t repeat, but repercussions effected everything else that happened (that’s for another day).

Where is the good in this story? I wish someone would have told me things will get better. I wish someone would have told me suicide is not the answer. I wish someone could have walked with me through that nightmare. I wish I would have spoken up when it all started. There are so many young people out there today who are dealing with nightmares of their own from bullies at school, or maybe even the ones at home. There are people in your life right now who think that suicide is the only answer. We need to make sure they know things will get better. It’s ok to feel like your whole life is falling apart and not know how to deal with it. BUT somehow we need to let people know we really are here for them and then be there for them. I’ve had this hopeless feeling several times, but I reminded myself how things did get better. I now look at the scars on my hands and wrists as a reminder that things will get better, just don’t stop fighting. I hope that you make yourself available to others so that they know you are a safe place. If right now you need someone to talk to, talk to me. I want you and everyone to once again Find The Good In Your Lives.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255
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Yoga Is Not Relaxing (but I enjoy it)

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Good Morning Sunshines! My hubby and I have been on a tour of the East Coast visiting friends and family. It snowed everywhere we went! Thankfully we are now in warm Florida for a week. While we have been traveling, I had my birthday, and got to celebrate our granddaughters first birthday. I am now 47, so I thought I would share 47 things that I have learned…

  1. It’s ok to put myself first
  2. Tomorrow isn’t promised
  3. Giving your time is the best gift you can give
  4. Real friends are few and far between
  5. Real love is amazing
  6. Marrying my best friend was the best thing I ever did
  7. Traveling with my hubby is a lot of fun
  8. Sitting outside in the sun energizes me
  9. I really like baseball. Love the Dodgers!!!
  10. Family time is my favorite
  11. I enjoy working out
  12. The hard times will get better
  13. Learning to love myself was harder than I thought it would be
  14. Learning to accept my flaws is still a struggle
  15. Even the people I love and look up to will let me down sometimes
  16. Having a mentor will stretch you
  17. Daily improvement makes me feel good about myself (reading, podcasts, conferences)
  18. Some people don’t want to change and I have to accept that
  19. Good music speaks to my soul like nothing else can
  20. I can choose to be happy even when things aren’t going right
  21. Yoga is not relaxing (but I enjoy it)
  22. Meditation is harder than I thought, but worth it
  23. A good bed is a must
  24. So is a good pillow
  25. I love just sitting around a fire pit with friends and family more than going out
  26. I am great at time management
  27. I am a great friend
  28. It’s ok to say “No” with no explanation
  29. I like sushi
  30. I can’t swim and not sure I’ll ever learn
  31. I can read people rather well and can spot a fake a mile away
  32. I don’t have to be friends with everyone
  33. Not everyone is going to like me
  34. I have a very creative mind and need to use it more
  35. I enjoy reading (I read the first chapter and last chapter first)
  36. Baths are my favorite way to end a day
  37. Use moisturizer daily
  38. Enjoy what you do or stop doing it
  39. Tell those you love that you love them as often as can
  40. Travel as much as you can
  41. I enjoy being around people, but recharge by having quiet time
  42. I love going above and beyond for those I love
  43. Missing my grandma doesn’t get easier
  44. Being a grandparent is wonderful
  45. Riding with the top off my jeep and music blaring makes me happy
  46. I don’t enjoy cooking
  47. Having adult kids is the best because you have new best friends you have so many amazing memories with

I hope you are having a great week. I will be back to my normal writing soon. I have a few things I have written but they are kind of heavy and wasn’t sure when I would be ready to open up like that. I truly enjoy sharing my life with you and helping others Find The Good In Theirs.

 

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

TMI Friday-Birthday

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IMG_0480Good Morning Sunshines! While I was on my hiatus of writing and planning my daughter’s wedding, I received a few DM’s (direct messages) from random people letting me know they missed me writing and really liked my TMI Fridays. Thank you to those who reached out to check on me and letting me know you enjoy my almost daily post.

Happy TMI Friday! Today’s post is all about why I love my birthday. March 18 is my birthday and this year I will be 47. I am very ok with my age and love to celebrate. Think about it, what is the alternative? If you don’t have a birthday you are no longer here.  I have always loved my birthday and other people’s birthdays. I love to celebrate people. For me, birthdays mean breakfast in bed, gifts, and being loved on by your friends and family. That happens for anyone in my family and close friends, not just me. My hubby knows I love my birthday and has let me turn it into a birthday month. However, I have tried to do something different this year and that’s celebrate every day.

I really want to celebrate life and not take advantage of it. Every day so far this year I have done something small just to celebrate me/life. I found that the days were running together, then the weeks, months, and even years. I needed to slow things down. A lot of the times my moment of just me is sitting outside with the dogs, feeling the sun and listening to music that makes me feel happy to be alive. The other day I listened to a whole album. I have no idea the last time I did that. For me, celebrating me/life isn’t about a party, it’s about being thankful that I am still here and enjoying every moment of it. Feeling the aches and pains of my muscles from my workout makes me happy. Things that use to bother me, now make me happy. Getting a phone call from a family member or friend makes me smile. I used to wish people would just text, but slowing down to talk to someone is so much better. One day we wont be able to talk anymore and I never want to miss that chance. Starting today, I hope you can start celebrating you/life daily and Find The Good In It.

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Mask

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IMG_0464Good Morning Sunshines! “How long will it take before people stop being polite and start getting real?” – Real World

What kind of mask do you wear? We all have them; sometimes we have several, depending on who we are with. For years I wore a mask of a happy marriage. We would fight, a lot of the time it was physical. So, when I told people I was getting a divorce, no one understood. I was lying to people for years to protect myself and him. I wore a mask as a teen to hide myself from almost everyone. My mom had walked out on me when I was 15 because she needed to get help for her drug addiction, leaving me to live on my own. The only person who knew was my boyfriend and eventually his mom. It wasn’t till I was 17, almost 18, that the state found out and sent me to go live with my dad. It’s crazy the life we can live behind these masks.

As I was talking to a group of people the other day about the masks we wear, someone said something that struck a nerve with me. “What am I doing that people aren’t comfortable enough to take down their mask?” I really try not to wear a mask anymore and be transparent with people. I want people to know who I am. I also want to be able to pour into people and love on them so they feel comfortable taking down their mask. I challenge you to look at your mask and the people you surround yourself with and see who and where you can take down your mask around. Find people who will except you and help you Find The Good In Your Life.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Who Are You?

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986471BF-BB1D-430F-BAA3-B1F96073FA84Good Morning Sunshines! I’m back! My daughter is married! The wedding was amazing and I have recovered. I’m looking forward to talking with all of you again.

We are all created to be individuals. So why do we compare ourselves to others? How boring would the world be if we all looked and acted the same? In my 20’s and early 30’s I really did compare myself a lot to my friends, the women I’d pass on the street, and even people I saw in the movies. I was never satisfied with my clothing size, the “things” I could do (because I wanted to be gifted or talented like others) even my personality. I wished I was different. I have a loud laugh and I’m very animated. I tried not to overdo it around most people, worried they won’t accept me for who I really am.

I’m not sure when the mindset change was, but I do remember reading…..

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” ~ Dr. Seuss

Such wise words! I was about 35 when I decided I would live my life out loud. I have a lot to say. I really have gone through a lot and I believe our tests are our testimonies, so I decided I would start liking those things I wanted to change. I started caring less and less about other people’s opinion about what I was doing in my life. I remember the first time I put down a book I had started reading and said to my self, “I am not enjoying this, I’m not going to read it.” That was huge for me. I have walked out of movies, left restaurants and even stopped hanging around people who were no longer bringing happiness to my life. I no longer had the need for everyone’s approval because I now had my own. I know for some this can be hard in a world of “likes” and “friends”. My hope for you today is that you will, Find The Good In You.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

T.M.I.Friday

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diary-968603_960_720Good Morning Sunshines! “When you start to do the things that you truly love, it wouldn’t matter whether it is Monday or Friday; you would be so excited to wake up each morning to work on your passions.” ― Edmond Mbiaka

It’s Friday!!! The day where I just let you into too much information about my life. This will probably read more like a diary entry than my normal positive blogs, but here you go….

We have made it through another week and through a month of 2018. January is gone and February is here. Our daughter’s wedding is in 15 days. I haven’t been posting every day because the wedding has taken over. Not in a bad way, but it has defiantly helped me step up my gym time. I also bought a dress that was a half size too small because the size up was too big.

So, let me tell you about this week. We have finalized so much stuff this week for the wedding, we started two Bible studies at our home, been trying to help my mom with stuff in Puerto Rico, trying to finish writing my book, starting a new website, on top of trying to do our “normal” everyday things. I never feel like I really do a lot till I speak to other people. It’s then that people will say, “Wow, you are busy.” To me that’s normal. Today I am getting my hair cut and colored. If you know me I like “fun” colors. With my daughter’s wedding coming up I went “normal” but she has decided she wanted a fun color because it’s more me. I’m excited to have “me hair” for the wedding too. Speaking of the wedding, our son and daughter-in-law will be here in 13 days. That means our amazing granddaughter will be here. My hubby and I are so excited to have her here and love on her.

Well, it’s time to get up and get this day started. Sorry it’s not my normal get up and slay today post but I hope whatever you do today, you will Find The Good In Your Life.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

It’s Not In The Budget

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372D684A-5852-460C-B974-815D7AD432DB-40788-00000A7ED3A9B2F0Good Afternoon Sunshines! “The budget is not just a collection of numbers, but an expression of our values and aspirations.” ~ Jacob Lew

Have you ever said “It’s not in my budget,” or “I don’t have time for that?” I found out it’s never in my budget or I don’t have time for it if it’s not a priority to me. Our daughter’s wedding is coming up and the money we could have used a million other ways is being used to pay for a wedding because it is what is important to us. I pay for a gym membership because my health is important to me. I spend time reading books and listening to podcasts every day because growing and learning is important to me. However, I have had people tell me, “You should really watch this new show. It’s amazing!” The next time I see them they would ask, “What did you think?” To be honest, I haven’t had the time to watch it. Why didn’t I have I have the time? It’s because it wasn’t important to me. Not that my friend wasn’t important, it was that my time was important and I didn’t want to spend it on something that I was not sure I would enjoy.

Our time and resource are precious, and we need to be careful how we spend them. You will very rarely ever catch me doing something I really just don’t want to do; and if I am, it’s because the person I am with means more to me than that thing I am doing. When my kids were teenagers I stopped saying “It’s not in our budget,” and started telling them the truth, “That is not a priority.” As as example, they asked “Why don’t we have a tv and cable like my friends?” This truly was not, and still is not, a priority for us. Explaining to a teenager (and some adults) why we don’t have these things may be annoying, but I believe in being transparent about my life, so we would explain, “We don’t have time to sit in front of the tv, so why would we spend money on something we don’t use?” When I have asked my boss for a raise for an employee and he would say, “It’s not in the budget”, what I really wish he would have said was, “It’s not a priority,” because I would see money being spent in other places that to me was not a priority. I say ALL that to say this…. before you say it’s not in the budget or you don’t have time, be honest with yourself and others. Is this just not a priority? When you’re making the decision to spend your time or resources on something, make sure you ask yourself is it’s helping you Find The Good In Your Life.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Making Memories

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IMG_0080Good Morning Sunshines! “Children have neither past nor future; they enjoy the present, which very few of us do.” ~ Jean de la Bruyere

This year for Christmas my daughter decided to turn my family movies into DVD from VHS (best gift this year). We were watching a home movie of when they were little and we were visiting my mom and family in Puerto Rico. As I was watching this video, besides thinking my kids were the cutest, I couldn’t stop thinking I was a jerk. My son kept asking if he could look through the video camera and I kept telling him no because I didn’t want it to break. It really wouldn’t have hurt anything if I allowed him to look through it, but I didn’t want to risk it. Then I started thinking about how, as my kids were growing up, I was always worried about keeping a clean house and being worried about what others would say if they stopped by. I remember my kids asking me to play with them but I didn’t have the time because I always had something to do. If you’re a parent you can probably look back and remember these moments as well. I know I will never get those moments back, but I can learn from them.

Thankfully I am a grandparent now, also a godmother, and aunt. I almost get a do-over because I realized the blessing is in the journey. Being worried about a clean house and other people’s opinions aren’t what matter, but rather making memories. When a friend calls I answer because, most likely, I’m going to laugh with that person on the other end. I’m no longer worried about what others will say if they come over and see the lived-in house I have, but more worried about the memories I will make with people and Finding The Good In Life.

family · Inspirational · music · Uncategorized

Me, Myself and I

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Good Morning Sunshines! “Music was my refuge. I would crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.” ~ Maya Angelou

Have you ever played a song on repeat because it was speaking to you like nothing and nobody could. I have had a few moments like that, but the one I remember most that changed me was Friday night at home by myself while going through a divorce. My kids were with their dad that weekend. I had some co-workers who throughout the year would challenge me to go out to lunch or dinner by myself, go shopping by myself, and I had accomplished these things. But this Friday night I was having a “get real” with myself moment, letting go of some hurt. The radio was on and a song came on that made me stop and just listen, “Private Party” by India Arie. After the song went off I YouTubed it and played it over and over. I was learning how to love me. I danced around the house listening to this song. I really looked in the mirror and saw me again. I had lost me. I became who everyone else wanted me to be. Yes, I was a positive person, but I didn’t know who else I was. If you have ever seen Runaway Bride you’ll understand this next question I asked myself, “How do you like your eggs? Over medium.” I started asking myself questions I would ask someone while trying to get to know them. I needed to get to know me again. While listening to this song on repeat, dancing around the house, laughing, crying, I realized I am going to be ok. I had just gone through one of the hardest years of my life but everything was working out. I realized I loved me, and more importantly I liked me.

There are days I will play that song and just look in the mirror at all of me and do a check in. We will call our moms, grandparents, kids and friends to check on them, but when is the last time you checked in on you? Seriously, look at yourself and remind yourself who you are. This isn’t just for women, but men too. We get so lost in the everyday and thinking about everything we have to do for everyone else that we forget to stop and remember me, myself and I and Find The Good In Our Life.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Happy Birthday!

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IMG_0047Good Morning Sunshines! A daughter is just a little girl who grows up to be your best friend.

Today is my daughter’s birthday! (I told her I would write about her today) I call her “My Pretty”. She is truly a blessing in my life. I think about the day she was born and remember how she looked like a little doll. She was so perfect. I would dress her up in little pink dresses. She would love when I would sing to her, “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey. You’ll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.” As she grew up she realized I really couldn’t sing. The teenage years weren’t too bad except for age 14, when I loved her but didn’t like her (I’ll tell y’all about that another day). She tested me in so many different ways. Looking back and hearing other people’s stories, she wasn’t really that bad. Both of my children told me everything… sometimes too much. However, I always knew where they were. The lines of communication have always been open and they were always allowed to express their feelings. Ciara got married in August to a nice young man, Deon. It was a very small wedding. Just us, his parents and our pastors. We are having a big ceremony in February because I told her she might regret not having the big wedding if she didn’t. Planning has been a lot of work, but she is worth it. We had her bridal shower this past weekend and then she went with friends to Vegas to the bachelorette party. I love hearing the stories of her and her friends. Oh, to be that young again.  There are days I get sad because both of my kids are married and I feel like they don’t need me any more. But there is nothing like your daughter asking you, “Can we go get lunch and go shopping?” I love the relationship we have now. I don’t have to fuss at her any more. She has become my friend. We sit and talk about so many things. It’s hard to believe that little angel I held in my arms grew up to be my best friend. She truly is A Good In My Life.

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The Blessing Is In The Journey

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Good Morning Sunshines! “Dance. Smile. Giggle. Marvel. TRUST. HOPE. LOVE. WISH. BELIEVE. Most of all, enjoy every moment of the journey, and appreciate where you are at this moment instead of always focusing on how far you have to go.” ~ Mandy Hale

Do you remember your wedding day? Matt and I were standing at the unity candle and our pastor was singing a song and I said to Matt, “We should stop and really remember this moment because it’s all going so fast.” There were few other times that day that we took each others hands and said let’s stop and remember. I was told that your wedding day will be such a blur you won’t remember anything. I didn’t want that to happen. We have now been married for 11 1/2 years and can still remember those moments. There are days we will stop and just sit with each other and talk about where we are and what is going on. Our marriage is a journey we are on together, but the blessings are in the everyday life we are making together. I love when I’m cooking or doing something in the kitchen and Matt will come in and grab me and start dancing with me, even when I have my big yellow rubber gloves on from washing dishes. I love being in his arms and enjoying that memory we are making. We don’t do a lot of family dinners anymore because the kids are grown, but when we do get a moment to sit around the table together we are always laughing. I love that we can just sit and enjoy each other knowing that we may not do this for a few more weeks or months, but we know that this moment is a blessing.

 

I wasn’t always like this. I was once very task driven, and I will talk about that another day. But right now, today, I want you to stop and think about the blessings you have in your life. You may not enjoy your job, but if you lost your job and couldn’t get work for 6 months to a year and got the same job back, you’d probably feel very thankful for it. We have the tools to make every day a blessing, and if we just stop long enough to think about it, you can Find The Good In Your Life.

 

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Friday Fun Day

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Good Morning Sunshines! Fairytailes can come true. They can happen to you…..

I was asked by a few readers to share a little bit more about me, so I thought that Fridays would be that day that I share a fun, personal story about me or my family.

I wanted to tell you one of my favorite stories. My son and his wife just celebrated their 3rd wedding anniversary. I want to share how they met. On the first day of kindergarten my son, who was 5 years old at the time, walked into his classroom and went to his cubby to put away his things when the little girl next to him said, “Hi, my name is Gabrielle, but you can call me Gabby.” He said, “My name is Caleb. Call me Caleb.” She asked him to be friends and they walked away together. I was in awe and said, “That was my son.” The lady next to me said, “That was my daughter.” That lady and I became friends, and we would do everything together with our kids. School had started in August and in October Caleb and I went on a mommy and son date. We were at dinner and he asked me, “How do you know when you found your rib?” I was a little confused, but he explained, “Like Adam and Eve, she was his rib.” I let him know he would date lots of people and one day he would find her when he was all grown up. He said, “No, I think I already found her. It’s Gabby, and I want to take her on a date.” I spoke to her parents and they agreed we could take them “on a date.” We went to the Rugrats movie. Caleb and Gabby were inseparable until her parents became traveling missionaries. Gabby’s mom and I stayed in touch and always tried to be there for each other’s families when there were big events, anniversaries, birthdays, graduations, and weddings. Gabby’s sister was getting married and we all couldn’t go because we had just moved across the country, so we asked Caleb to go. Caleb and Gabby started talking and realized that they were both looking for the same things in life. They had graduated from high school and gone to college and trying to find their way in life. They decided to start dating in September. A few months later they had gone to a friend’s wedding, and when he returned home he let us know he was going to ask Gabby to marry him when she came out for Christmas. On Christmas morning we got to witness these two, who knew at 5 years old they would grow up and get married, get engaged. A few days later when we took Gabby to the airport she just couldn’t leave. She said something at that moment that I have always loved. She said, “I have loved him my whole life, and when you know what you have wanted your whole life is about to come true, you want it to start right away.”

Caleb and Gabby have been married for three years and blessed us with a granddaughter this year. I know this will be very few people’s stories in life, and most people will look for that person for a long time. However, no matter if it’s a person or a dream you’ve been waiting for, it’s time for it to start. We had planned the wedding for 6 months out, but Gabby wanted her dream to start now, so in five days we planned a wedding and they started their lives together. Today is that day that you say, “I am done waiting. It’s time for my dream to start right now!” Start your dream. Find The Good In Your Life.