Tag: getting older

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TMI Friday – Grandma – International Women’s Day

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Good Morning Sunshines! “She made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible. She walked with the Universe on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of wings.”  ―Ariana Dancu

It’s TMI Friday! Yesterday was International Women’s Day so I wanted to talk about the most amazing woman I’ve ever known, my grandma. My grandma was/is my hero. She taught me so much. Grandma was a godly woman who always made time for the word. She started and ended each day in prayer. She never raised her voice. If she got mad she would start talking really low so you had to concentrate on what she was saying. It was worse than someone yelling.  I could never get anything past her. If I called “just to say hi”, she always knew exactly what was going on before I even told her. My grandma was a farmer’s wife, she had six kids, and many grandkids. Grandma never had favorites. I would joke and tell her “it’s ok to say I’m your favorite.” She would let me know her favorite was whoever needed her most at that time. She always made you feel like you were the most important person when she talked to you. She really listened.

My grandma had gotten a job out of the house for a few years and worked in an arcade. Yes, a video game arcade! If you would have met her at first you would have thought this was strange. However, after 5 minutes of watching her around all the young people who came through you would know she was right where she was supposed to be. They loved her! Grandma would call kids out on their baggy pants, wild looks, bad attitudes, and always get to the root of the issues. I remember one day going to work with her and a group of kids came in being loud and disrespectful. Grandma walked up to them and told them to watch their language, and pull up their pants because she had no desire to see their behinds. One of the kids got mouthy and grandma started talking real low. I’m not sure what she said, but the next thing I know, their pants are pulled up and they are saying “Yes Mama.” She walked back up to her seat, grabbed some quarters, gave them each a few, and went and played Lady Bug, her favorite game. Everyone loved Grandma.

Grandma passed away a few years ago on, February 14, 2011. This seemed so fitting for her. I was so sad and just wanted to lay in bed all day and cry. However, I could hear my grandma saying “How long are you going to cry?’ (Read my post,  Finding the Good, to understand that a little better) I cried for a while and then knew it was going to be ok. For me, knowing she was spending Valentines with her first love was so fitting. I miss her every day. When my time comes I hope I am half as loved and respected as she was. Grandma was such an amazing example of love, never judging. She met you where you were at. I am so thankful for her and the amazing woman she was. I hope you have an amazing woman in your life who can help you Find The Good.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

TMI Friday-Birthday

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IMG_0480Good Morning Sunshines! While I was on my hiatus of writing and planning my daughter’s wedding, I received a few DM’s (direct messages) from random people letting me know they missed me writing and really liked my TMI Fridays. Thank you to those who reached out to check on me and letting me know you enjoy my almost daily post.

Happy TMI Friday! Today’s post is all about why I love my birthday. March 18 is my birthday and this year I will be 47. I am very ok with my age and love to celebrate. Think about it, what is the alternative? If you don’t have a birthday you are no longer here.  I have always loved my birthday and other people’s birthdays. I love to celebrate people. For me, birthdays mean breakfast in bed, gifts, and being loved on by your friends and family. That happens for anyone in my family and close friends, not just me. My hubby knows I love my birthday and has let me turn it into a birthday month. However, I have tried to do something different this year and that’s celebrate every day.

I really want to celebrate life and not take advantage of it. Every day so far this year I have done something small just to celebrate me/life. I found that the days were running together, then the weeks, months, and even years. I needed to slow things down. A lot of the times my moment of just me is sitting outside with the dogs, feeling the sun and listening to music that makes me feel happy to be alive. The other day I listened to a whole album. I have no idea the last time I did that. For me, celebrating me/life isn’t about a party, it’s about being thankful that I am still here and enjoying every moment of it. Feeling the aches and pains of my muscles from my workout makes me happy. Things that use to bother me, now make me happy. Getting a phone call from a family member or friend makes me smile. I used to wish people would just text, but slowing down to talk to someone is so much better. One day we wont be able to talk anymore and I never want to miss that chance. Starting today, I hope you can start celebrating you/life daily and Find The Good In It.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Mask

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IMG_0464Good Morning Sunshines! “How long will it take before people stop being polite and start getting real?” – Real World

What kind of mask do you wear? We all have them; sometimes we have several, depending on who we are with. For years I wore a mask of a happy marriage. We would fight, a lot of the time it was physical. So, when I told people I was getting a divorce, no one understood. I was lying to people for years to protect myself and him. I wore a mask as a teen to hide myself from almost everyone. My mom had walked out on me when I was 15 because she needed to get help for her drug addiction, leaving me to live on my own. The only person who knew was my boyfriend and eventually his mom. It wasn’t till I was 17, almost 18, that the state found out and sent me to go live with my dad. It’s crazy the life we can live behind these masks.

As I was talking to a group of people the other day about the masks we wear, someone said something that struck a nerve with me. “What am I doing that people aren’t comfortable enough to take down their mask?” I really try not to wear a mask anymore and be transparent with people. I want people to know who I am. I also want to be able to pour into people and love on them so they feel comfortable taking down their mask. I challenge you to look at your mask and the people you surround yourself with and see who and where you can take down your mask around. Find people who will except you and help you Find The Good In Your Life.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Who Are You?

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986471BF-BB1D-430F-BAA3-B1F96073FA84Good Morning Sunshines! I’m back! My daughter is married! The wedding was amazing and I have recovered. I’m looking forward to talking with all of you again.

We are all created to be individuals. So why do we compare ourselves to others? How boring would the world be if we all looked and acted the same? In my 20’s and early 30’s I really did compare myself a lot to my friends, the women I’d pass on the street, and even people I saw in the movies. I was never satisfied with my clothing size, the “things” I could do (because I wanted to be gifted or talented like others) even my personality. I wished I was different. I have a loud laugh and I’m very animated. I tried not to overdo it around most people, worried they won’t accept me for who I really am.

I’m not sure when the mindset change was, but I do remember reading…..

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” ~ Dr. Seuss

Such wise words! I was about 35 when I decided I would live my life out loud. I have a lot to say. I really have gone through a lot and I believe our tests are our testimonies, so I decided I would start liking those things I wanted to change. I started caring less and less about other people’s opinion about what I was doing in my life. I remember the first time I put down a book I had started reading and said to my self, “I am not enjoying this, I’m not going to read it.” That was huge for me. I have walked out of movies, left restaurants and even stopped hanging around people who were no longer bringing happiness to my life. I no longer had the need for everyone’s approval because I now had my own. I know for some this can be hard in a world of “likes” and “friends”. My hope for you today is that you will, Find The Good In You.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Mondays!

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Good Morning Sunshines! “Mondays are tough for those people who don’t know how to spend them cheerfully. Get up and have fun today!” ~ unanimous

Have you ever woken up grumpy and not known why and said, “No one better mess with me today.”? I think we have all had those days. I know Mondays were the worst days for my employees. I’ve had a case of the Mondays before myself. It would usually start on Sunday night. I would start thinking about the week ahead and everything I needed to get done. It was only 3 pm on Sunday but I was already in the next week and no longer enjoying my weekend, my family time. Then come Monday I was moody and did not want to be there. UGH!!! Something needed to change.

I had read a  book where the person said to challenge yourself to not have a bad day. Keep telling yourself it’s not a bad day, and to be positive. This took some training but I really did learn how to do this. I would start to get in a “Monday Funk” and I would have to stop myself and think of positive things. I would literally make myself say three positive things right there and then. When you are thinking of the blessings in your life it’s hard to think about the negative.

These days, Mondays are my favorite day of the week. I try to have it as a day I look forward to by meeting a girlfriend for coffee, going to the gym, and prepping for the rest of the week. I very rarely have bad days anymore. I will stop and realize I am not having a bad day, I am having a bad moment. That moment in my day will not be my full day, it is just something that’s happening right now that I will need to move past. Don’t let the bad moments dictate your day. Find The Good In Your Day.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Banner Blindness

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IMG_0241Hello Sunshines! “It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” ~Henry David Thoreau

How many of us ignore the ads that are on our social media these days? Crazy how we talk about something or look up something, but then we quickly start to ignore them again. This is banner blindness. But what about in our everyday life? Do we start to go blind too? Maybe not blind, but just don’t notice the change that’s happening. A friend gets a haircut, you don’t notice. The gas station you always go to changes names but you don’t notice. We get so caught up in our everyday life that we don’t stop and look around us and notice the changes that are happening in the world around us.

I have rose bushes outside my front door. Every day when I leave the house I will literally stop and smell the roses. I do that because when I was working 12 hour plus days I got so caught up in my work I forgot there was a world going on outside. One day I was going into work late, when I walked outside and noticed these beautiful roses. These rose bushes had been there as long as we had lived in the house, but I didn’t notice them because I would leave so early and come home late, my sights focused on my next task. But now when I leave my house and smell these roses, it reminds me to stop and notice the world around me. I don’t want to be blind to the world around me anymore. I want to notice not just the simple beautiful roses, but the people in need on the corner. I want to help others Find The Good In Their Life.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

It’s Not In The Budget

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372D684A-5852-460C-B974-815D7AD432DB-40788-00000A7ED3A9B2F0Good Afternoon Sunshines! “The budget is not just a collection of numbers, but an expression of our values and aspirations.” ~ Jacob Lew

Have you ever said “It’s not in my budget,” or “I don’t have time for that?” I found out it’s never in my budget or I don’t have time for it if it’s not a priority to me. Our daughter’s wedding is coming up and the money we could have used a million other ways is being used to pay for a wedding because it is what is important to us. I pay for a gym membership because my health is important to me. I spend time reading books and listening to podcasts every day because growing and learning is important to me. However, I have had people tell me, “You should really watch this new show. It’s amazing!” The next time I see them they would ask, “What did you think?” To be honest, I haven’t had the time to watch it. Why didn’t I have I have the time? It’s because it wasn’t important to me. Not that my friend wasn’t important, it was that my time was important and I didn’t want to spend it on something that I was not sure I would enjoy.

Our time and resource are precious, and we need to be careful how we spend them. You will very rarely ever catch me doing something I really just don’t want to do; and if I am, it’s because the person I am with means more to me than that thing I am doing. When my kids were teenagers I stopped saying “It’s not in our budget,” and started telling them the truth, “That is not a priority.” As as example, they asked “Why don’t we have a tv and cable like my friends?” This truly was not, and still is not, a priority for us. Explaining to a teenager (and some adults) why we don’t have these things may be annoying, but I believe in being transparent about my life, so we would explain, “We don’t have time to sit in front of the tv, so why would we spend money on something we don’t use?” When I have asked my boss for a raise for an employee and he would say, “It’s not in the budget”, what I really wish he would have said was, “It’s not a priority,” because I would see money being spent in other places that to me was not a priority. I say ALL that to say this…. before you say it’s not in the budget or you don’t have time, be honest with yourself and others. Is this just not a priority? When you’re making the decision to spend your time or resources on something, make sure you ask yourself is it’s helping you Find The Good In Your Life.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Finding Balance

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Good Morning Sunshines! “Never get so busy making a living, that you forget to make a life.” ~ Dolly Parton

A few years ago I had two strokes due to stress. I was so focused on my job and didn’t understand balance that I worked myself almost to death. I had a co-worker who, when she would travel to different offices, she would enjoy it by going out and having dinner, met the people in the area, made friends and still got her work done. On the other hand, I would be in the office for 12 hours a day, eat at my desk, and then go back to the hotel and work some more. I felt guilty if I enjoyed myself too much when traveling for work. I was there to work. This was my chance to get ahead and get extra done without being interrupted. I wished I could be like my co-worker, but I had a job to do and wasn’t there for fun.

This was not healthy. I burnt myself out. I took a break from work for a while and came back ready to have balance. I would fly out on Monday, back on Friday, making myself go out to eat at least once while I was traveling. Still not able to find the balance I needed because I wasn’t putting my health first and at least working out in the morning, I gained 20 pounds. My only exercise was walking through the airport. Even with me trying to find the balance by going out to eat once became a task and not something I was enjoying. I loved my job and traveling was fun. I enjoyed the people I worked with. Even on the weeks I wasn’t traveling I was still in the office for 12 hours and working when I got home. I had another health scare in March when I had my yearly. We thought the breast cancer was back. Nothing like a health scare to make you reevaluate what is most important to you.

As much as I loved my job, I love my family more, and I knew something had to change. I gave my notice to my job and decided it was time to find balance. As I was searching for balance I had to decide what was most important. For me it was my health, my family, my church, the community, and helping others. I started working out almost every day and my hubby tries to go with me when he can. We will sit and eat breakfast together and talk in the morning. I volunteer full-time at my church, and I get to spend time with people by going to lunch and being there for people who need me or just need someone.  I lead a bible study and we go into the community and give back, feeding the homeless or thanking the firefighters by bringing them goodies. I decided that writing was one way (there are other ways too) I would help others and hope they would learn from my past challenges and be able to Find The Good In Their Life.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Happy Birthday!

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IMG_0047Good Morning Sunshines! A daughter is just a little girl who grows up to be your best friend.

Today is my daughter’s birthday! (I told her I would write about her today) I call her “My Pretty”. She is truly a blessing in my life. I think about the day she was born and remember how she looked like a little doll. She was so perfect. I would dress her up in little pink dresses. She would love when I would sing to her, “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey. You’ll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.” As she grew up she realized I really couldn’t sing. The teenage years weren’t too bad except for age 14, when I loved her but didn’t like her (I’ll tell y’all about that another day). She tested me in so many different ways. Looking back and hearing other people’s stories, she wasn’t really that bad. Both of my children told me everything… sometimes too much. However, I always knew where they were. The lines of communication have always been open and they were always allowed to express their feelings. Ciara got married in August to a nice young man, Deon. It was a very small wedding. Just us, his parents and our pastors. We are having a big ceremony in February because I told her she might regret not having the big wedding if she didn’t. Planning has been a lot of work, but she is worth it. We had her bridal shower this past weekend and then she went with friends to Vegas to the bachelorette party. I love hearing the stories of her and her friends. Oh, to be that young again.  There are days I get sad because both of my kids are married and I feel like they don’t need me any more. But there is nothing like your daughter asking you, “Can we go get lunch and go shopping?” I love the relationship we have now. I don’t have to fuss at her any more. She has become my friend. We sit and talk about so many things. It’s hard to believe that little angel I held in my arms grew up to be my best friend. She truly is A Good In My Life.

Inspirational · Uncategorized

Friday Fun Day

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Good Morning Sunshines! Fairytailes can come true. They can happen to you…..

I was asked by a few readers to share a little bit more about me, so I thought that Fridays would be that day that I share a fun, personal story about me or my family.

I wanted to tell you one of my favorite stories. My son and his wife just celebrated their 3rd wedding anniversary. I want to share how they met. On the first day of kindergarten my son, who was 5 years old at the time, walked into his classroom and went to his cubby to put away his things when the little girl next to him said, “Hi, my name is Gabrielle, but you can call me Gabby.” He said, “My name is Caleb. Call me Caleb.” She asked him to be friends and they walked away together. I was in awe and said, “That was my son.” The lady next to me said, “That was my daughter.” That lady and I became friends, and we would do everything together with our kids. School had started in August and in October Caleb and I went on a mommy and son date. We were at dinner and he asked me, “How do you know when you found your rib?” I was a little confused, but he explained, “Like Adam and Eve, she was his rib.” I let him know he would date lots of people and one day he would find her when he was all grown up. He said, “No, I think I already found her. It’s Gabby, and I want to take her on a date.” I spoke to her parents and they agreed we could take them “on a date.” We went to the Rugrats movie. Caleb and Gabby were inseparable until her parents became traveling missionaries. Gabby’s mom and I stayed in touch and always tried to be there for each other’s families when there were big events, anniversaries, birthdays, graduations, and weddings. Gabby’s sister was getting married and we all couldn’t go because we had just moved across the country, so we asked Caleb to go. Caleb and Gabby started talking and realized that they were both looking for the same things in life. They had graduated from high school and gone to college and trying to find their way in life. They decided to start dating in September. A few months later they had gone to a friend’s wedding, and when he returned home he let us know he was going to ask Gabby to marry him when she came out for Christmas. On Christmas morning we got to witness these two, who knew at 5 years old they would grow up and get married, get engaged. A few days later when we took Gabby to the airport she just couldn’t leave. She said something at that moment that I have always loved. She said, “I have loved him my whole life, and when you know what you have wanted your whole life is about to come true, you want it to start right away.”

Caleb and Gabby have been married for three years and blessed us with a granddaughter this year. I know this will be very few people’s stories in life, and most people will look for that person for a long time. However, no matter if it’s a person or a dream you’ve been waiting for, it’s time for it to start. We had planned the wedding for 6 months out, but Gabby wanted her dream to start now, so in five days we planned a wedding and they started their lives together. Today is that day that you say, “I am done waiting. It’s time for my dream to start right now!” Start your dream. Find The Good In Your Life.

Inspirational · Uncategorized

Letting Go

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BC12CF28-D50A-4B10-B257-CCC41B166BDD-8482-0000022D0640346EI had a little challenge getting the post out this morning due to a sinus issue and a Benadryl…..But, it’s never too late to have a good day.

Good Morning Sunshines! “Why should you live in the past when the present already has everything that you need to start a new beginning?” ~ Edmond Mbiaka

Growing up in the 70’s and 80’s is much different than it is now. I remember the night a door-to-door salesman knocked on our door and told us about cassette tapes. He came in and my mom made coffee and got out a snack and we all sat in the living room playing with this new thing. He showed us how we could record and play it back. We talked into it and played it back. Hearing our own voices being played back was very strange. We bought a tape player and a six-pack of cassette tapes. I remember my step-brothers playing tricks on each other with it, whispering things into the recorder and hiding it under beds or in closets. In the 80’s my friends and I would sit and wait for that new song to come out so we could record it and make the perfect mixed tape. Who didn’t love getting a mixed tape? These days my kids make playlists and don’t have to hope the DJ doesn’t talk through the first part of the song.

There are so many memories that shape us into who we are today, good or bad. Sometimes we hold onto these things so much it will paralyze us in our present. It won’t allow us to move forward into what we are meant to be doing. I know it can be hard to let go of the past. Whether it’s living in the “glory days” of our youth or the pain that haunts our dreams/nightmares. There are days where I have to remind myself that I am not that little girl who was abandoned and not everyone will leave me. That I am loved. Yes, even I have insecurities, but I look at them differently now. I was once told, “You can never have a better past, but you can make a better future.” That is what I did with all the pain and hurt of the past. I decided to Find The Good In My Life. What do you need to let go of so you can have the future you deserve?

Inspirational · Uncategorized

Where Did The Time Go

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Good Morning Sunshines! “Know the true value of time; snatch, seize and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination: never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.” ~ Philip Stanhope 4th Earl of Chesterfield

We all get the same amount of time each day, how we spend it is different. There are 24 hours in a day, 1,440 minutes in a day, and 86,400 seconds in that day. I have waisted a lot of these seconds, minutes, and hours not doing things I said I would. I have not gone and visited loved ones and/or called thinking I would still have tomorrow. But tomorrow didn’t come. I didn’t work out because I thought tomorrow will be a better day, but tomorrow was busier than the day before. Somehow, slowly, day after day turned into a week, month and then years. Sometimes I look in the mirror and see where time has gone. My hair is greying, and I have little lines around my eyes. But I never really notice it till I see my mom. She lives in Puerto Rico and it’s been 2 years since I last saw her. Yesterday she was finally able to send me a picture and I noticed how much older she looked from the last time I saw her. She’s been through a lot in her life, but the last few months after hurricane Maria has really put a lot on her. I cried seeing her. She is 4 feet 8 inches and 90 pounds. She looks tiny and frail, but she is a tough cookie. But as I looked at the picture I thought about how over the last several months, as Puerto Rico has been going through the aftermath of Hurricane Maria, our lives kept going.

I love quality time with my family and friends. I love just sitting and talking, not looking at our phones, but rather engaging in conversation. I have a friend I meet with on Mondays for a few hours and time always seems to go so fast. There never seems to be enough when we want it most, but seems to go slow when we are waiting for something to happen. I look at time a little differently these days. I am semi-retired and I get to do most things on my time. But I found that I don’t spend it in front of the tv anymore like I used to when I got off work. (Also it broke and we never got a new one.) I spend it doing the things I wish I could have before. I also realized I could have done those things before, but I just didn’t make them a priority. I am making my life and my time a priority now because I know I can never get it back. I don’t want you to look back like I did and wonder where the time has gone. Make those calls to your bestie, go visit grandma, date your significant other and Find The Good in every second of every day.