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gratitude · Inspirational · Life · music · Overcoming

Music

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“Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.” ~ Maya Angelou

Music touches us all in different ways. It can move us to tears, it can make us dance, it can calm a moment and bring us back to a place in time. Music has always been a big part of my life. I cannot sing to save my life, but have always enjoyed screeching out lyrics nonetheless. I was in chorus for years, and there was brave soul who I was next to for a few of those years because I could copy (sometimes) her pitch. Laura Griggs, you saint. I think of you often over the years as my daughter (who is an amazing singer), when younger, would ask, “Does that sound good to you?” Knowing I can’t carry a tune in a bucket, I will still sing to the top of my lungs and I wondered, did Laura ever feel the same way? My husband (who sings very well) when we are in the car singing will just smile and say, “you’re cute.” I’m sure that’s another way of saying, “Does that sound good to you?” I will also get the lyrics wrong and do not wish to know the real ones because mine are just fine.

I’ve had a song stuck in my head for a long time, and I could hear the tune and even knew a few of the words. Something about not being there and “I’ll be home soon.” I knew it was a “talking” song, if you will. I knew where this song was from, but thought there was no way my dad still had his old 8-tracks, but sure enough he did. I asked him to send me a picture of them and I would try to find the song. I sat for hours going through the songs on YouTube trying to find the right song. I heard a song and thought, “this sounds familiar” in my spirit, but it wasn’t THE song (Johnny Paychecks, Outlaw’s Prayer). I heard old songs that brought me back to being 8 years old in my bedroom on a Saturday morning when the clock radio would click on and I could feel everything about that moment. From the smell of the jasmine to the birds singing outside. If you would have asked me who could bring up those feelings, never in a million years would I have said Anne Murray. Seriously, I didn’t even know this name, but apparently she was a part of my love of music journey, because I listened to every song and knew them all as I sang along wondering, who was I so in love with at that age that the song I Just Fall In Love Again made me feel the feels? Needless to say, she will be on my playlist now. As Matt came in the room and let me know it was getting late and we should get ready for bed, I decided to listen to one more tape. I looked at the picture and put the name in YouTube. I had been playing the first 30 seconds of songs and knew if it was something I wanted to listen to or not, and then would go to the next or play the whole thing. The first song was ok, and I listened to most of it, but knowing it was almost time for bed I went to the next. As the next song started to play, it didn’t even play for 3 seconds when I knew this was THE song. The tears started to flow. I was 12 years old laying on my dad’s floor, away from my mom for the first time that I could remember, feeling so lost hearing this song for the first time (Tammy Wynette, Dear Daughters). I remember crying for her for months because she was my person, good or bad. I would play this song on repeat and think of her, until one day I no longer did.

Yesterday was Mother’s Day, and that’s when I heard the song. It made me miss her, but not enough to pick up the phone. Life is weird and complicated and so is love and boundaries. I have played the song a few times now, and I think it’s healing something inside me. I’m able to connect with that broken 12 year old and really start to heal her. Music is amazing. Where I needed to find this song because it was an earworm, to being able to lay that moment in time to rest. I will find peace and forgiveness for myself. I will be thankful for all the other songs I found and how the good memories will outweigh the bad. In therapy when I talk about “healing,” it all centers around that time in my life, what happened before it that lead to that moment, to how I responded to everything after. I’m 53 now, and you would think I should be “over it,” but when you go years just shoving things down, hoping they’ll go away, you can’t get over it. I never blame my parents now for anything, because if I do i have to also give them credit for the good. I take responsibility for my life. I have found that everyone will have challenges in life and you can only hope there will be great people along the way to help you. For me I had some amazing people who showed kindness in the day-to-day who may not ever know, but when I hear a song it brings me back, and sometimes it will bring a smile, and sometimes it will bring a tear, but they have all helped me along the way. I hope when you listen to music it moves you the same way and you feel it all, the good, the bad, and the ugly, because at least you feel. I also hope you always have people in your life that will help you, Find The Good In Your Life.

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Thoughts on a rainy day

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Hello Beautiful People! “When life gives you a rainy day, watch Harry Potter” ~ Wise People

I have so many things I always want to write and I have 20 blogs saved that will probably never see the light of day. Sometimes I just write to get out my feelings. I have one that was due to come out earlier in the day but cancelled the auto posting because I wasn’t sure if I was ready to share that story yet. So now I’m sitting in my bed with my laptop, gazing out my balcony window at the rain wondering what I can write about… I guess I’ll talk about writing.

I often get asked how I come up with my stories or blogs. If I tell you I honestly have no idea, you may not believe me, but it’s true. I have a new novel I’m working on, and it all started with one sentence I heard someone say. Literally that is how it works for me. I have been sitting in my favorite coffee shop (shout out to Daily Brew for being a safe haven for my creative mind) and I overhear a conversation, and the next thing I know I am just typing away at a thought or outlining a book. There are days I will go to Disneyland to just sit and people watch to get ideas. I love watching people’s mannerisms to create a character. I have a friend that, whenever you ask him a question, he will stroke his beard as he thinks through the question. I love asking him things, having real conversations, because I noticed how different topics will cause a different motion. I have a spy book I’m working on, and this is part of one of the people’s mannerisms. I have a group of friends I play poker with, and people watching comes in handy with them. Let’s just say I rarely lose. As I write my children’s books I really pay attention to how kids speak to make sure I am relatable to the age group. Before 2020 I was going into schools and speaking to kids about reading and the importance of it, and I always loved when I got to answer questions, because listening to them speak and how they would form their questions became a big part of how I write Luna and Sol. Now I have grandkids, so they are the voices I listen to.

Did I always know I wanted to be a writer? Hmmm… I knew I had stories in me, but because I was dyslexic and writing was hard for me I didn’t think I would ever live my Carrie Bradshaw dreams. When I watched Sex In The City I got excited about watching Carrie write. The thought of writing for a magazine was so amazing to me. She would turn this article in weekly and everyone would read her thoughts and get excited to hear what she had to say next. Who knew that 25 years later writing a blog would be the same as writing an article for a magazine. I also find it “funny” that I like to write my blog on my laptop and my books on my computer. I don’t know if that’s because I saw Carrie writing on her laptop and always thought I, too, would be a girl on the go with my laptop writing for the world. But just know, 9 times out of 10, I have left my office and come into my room to look out the patio door, or I am sitting in a coffee shop hoping to get inspired. I know some of you had questions about getting published and becoming a best seller. When I tell you being a 3-time best seller gives me imposter syndrome… And being published is the craziest feeling when you see your words in your hands. Also very humbling, because now you are out there for the world to criticize, and believe me they do. But if you too want to write, go for it. Do not worry about the nay sayers because they are just jealous that you Found The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming

Worth the Struggle

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Hello Beautiful People! “Our struggles can be strengths.” ~ Jim Kwik

Growing up I definitely was not the smartest girl in school… probably even in the bottom. I was in speech class, was/am dyslexic, but they called it stupid or slow, couldn’t spell to save my life and would get punished for not doing well, all because I couldn’t comprehend what was being taught. I dropped out of high school once I was 18 because it was too much for me. I worked my butt off at any job I had, because once I understood the job I could work circles around people. But I had a passion for reading and writing, even though both of those things did not come easy for me.

When my kids were little I would tell them stories before bed. Rarely did I ever read to them, because unless I pre-read something, it’s hard for me. One day my son asked me what was the name of the story because he wanted to go to the library and get the book so he could read the story again. I told him it was a mommy story and that they weren’t in libraries. Fast forward many years later, I am working in corporate America. I had worked my way up the ladder because, once again, my work ethic will out work anyone if I want it bad enough. I was not happy because I was not living my purpose. What was my purpose? I still am not completely sure, but I did know it had to do with writing and speaking, so I did it. My family encouraged me and would always ask when was I going to write my books. Finally, I quit that job and wrote my first children’s book. It took me a moment because of the research that went into it. The writing was hard for me at time. Thankfully I have an amazing husband who said, “You write and I will help you with the grammar.” He still does that to this day with every blog, every book I have written, and sometimes before I post a long post. (Thanks Babe you’re the best!)

I think about that young girl who people doubted, and at times doubted herself. I never get upset with those people. Honestly, I’m not sure we knew what dyslexia was until after I was out of school. I feel bad for all the kids that were just called “lazy” but we actually loved things like English, but the thought of having to read out loud would send us into a complete panic attack. Now that I am a 3-time Best Selling Author and I speak on stages in front of thousands of people, I am thankful that I get to share my journey with so many and give them hope that they can turn their struggles into strengths, and I hope you too can Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · Overcoming · Uncategorized

Time Marches On…

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Hello Beautiful People! “Sometimes it’s the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination.” ~Drake

It’s funny how time goes on no matter what happens. Through a pandemic, through the loss of loved ones, through our happiest to darkest moments, time does not stand still. I, just like many of you, went through many things the past few years, and I grew and changed. I was not sure if I would ever write Find The Good In Your Life again, not because I did not have good in my life, but because my life and way of thinking and writing had changed. I am not the same entrepreneur out to change the world anymore, but just a person wanting to share her life with others through words of her life experiences. If I touch someone’s life through my writing here or with one of my books, I will have made a difference. Here, I guess I want to give a “blueprint” if you will, to help others through their life’s journey as I share my experiences and wisdom that others have given to me.

One of my favorite influencers always says, “Don’t stop until you’re insanley f*cking proud of yourself.” Thanks Gary V. Funny enough I have a Dove candy wrapper that I saved many years ago (pictured) that says “Don’t stop until you are proud” that I have pinned to my cork board that sits in front of me. I choose a new thing to do every year to challenge myself. I have written children’s books, a novel, went skydiving, trained, entered, and won a bikini contest at 52, and this year I am back in school to get a Bachelor’s degree. I don’t know if I do these things every year trying to find something that will make me proud of myself, or just to say I did it. People often say, “You must be so proud of yourself.” I think, “Am I?” I don’t know if I am or if I just expect it from myself. I am not sure what it will look like when I am or is this what I just do and when I’m a 100 I will look back and say, “I had a great life and did many things,” and I will recount the way I lived my life and be proud and close my eyes and pass away. Well, that took a turn I wasn’t expecting. As my therapist says any time I ramble, “You’re just working it out.” Glad I could share my rambling with you.

Well all that to say, time continues to march on and so do we. I am looking forward to sharing life with you and all the things that go with it. I’d like to think that I’ll write daily but that might be expecting too much from myself with the goals I have this year of writing a new Luna and Sol book almost monthly, writing a new novel, and graduating in May. However, I would just like you to know that we make time for the things that are important to us and we can always find the time. Plus, nothing makes me happier than talking to people and asking them if they too can Find The Good In Your Life.