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The Queen of New Beginnings

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Hello Beautiful People! “Each new beginning asks the same question: who will you choose to become now?” — Maria Hagberg

As most of you know, I am an author. I write early reader chapter books for elementary students, I have written and am currently writing a novel, and I’m working on my first — and probably only — non-fiction book. I love writing my blog (non-fiction), so I guess technically I enjoy non-fiction the best… hmmm, food for thought for myself.

My actual point to this was to share the kinds of books I like, because as an author I actually spend a lot of time reading. I love books about second chances. I read a book a few weeks back called The Queen of New Beginnings. That sent me down a rabbit hole of second-chance books. I actually love when the second chances are about themselves — not about finding a new love or job, but when people find themselves.

One of my favorite “things” about people is when they know who they are. Like they went through something but came out not harder, but stronger. Most of the time not because they wanted to be, but because that’s what happened — they had no choice in the matter. I always love a new beginning, a new chapter in someone’s life. I like to think of life as chapters. I’m still working out if each year is a new chapter or if every day is. I just know that for me, I like to be the best version of me, and every day I try to be better than the day before.

I won’t say I related to the book The Queen of New Beginnings — some crazy things happened in that story — but I do relate to the title. I think that’s the beautiful part: we can always start over, as many times as we need to. Believe me, I am the Queen of new beginnings. Thankfully, I always find the good in my life, and I hope that no matter what chapter you are in, you too can Find The Good In Your Life.

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Lessons From A Broken Mug

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Good Morning Beautiful People

“It’s okay to break. What matters is what you do with the pieces.” — Maria Hagberg

I broke a mug this morning. To say I was upset is an understatement. It was one of my favorites. I have several mugs—somewhere around a hundred (we don’t judge here). Most of them are Disney-themed, as was this one. But this one also had plants on it and said, “I be-leaf in you.”

I love a good pun. And plants. This was a top-ten mug. Could I get a new one? Sure. But that’s not the point of this story.

As I stood there with ceramic scattered across the countertop, I heard Matt call out, “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I said.
He paused and replied, “But you’re sad.”

He was right. I was.

Then he said something that stopped me in my tracks: “It’s okay. What’s important is you’re okay.”

In that moment, I had flashes of all the times in my life when hearing those exact words would have saved me from years of fear and self-criticism. I remember hearing, “You’re so clumsy,” or “Why don’t you watch what you’re doing?” And I know, somewhere along the way, I probably said those same words to my kids before I realized—it’s okay. We all make mistakes.

Now, I would never get upset with my grandkids for spilling or breaking something. I’d smile, tell them it’s okay, and help them clean it up.

As I’ve entered my healing—my soft-girl era, if you will—I’ve learned a few things. I can’t live in the “I wish I would have” moments because they wreck me every time. You know the ones:

“I wish I would have spoken to my kids with more patience.” “I wish I would have been more present.”

I can’t change the past. But I can do better now—with my grandkids, with my family, and with myself.

It only took me 54 years to learn this: it’s okay to break. What matters is what you do with the pieces.

Have you ever seen a mosaic table? It’s made of hundreds of broken pieces—each one unique, each one essential. Together, they form something beautiful.

Maybe that’s the metaphor for my life. All the broken pieces I’ve gathered and put back together have helped me find the good in my life.

And I hope that as you clean up your own shattered pieces, you too can Find the Good in Your Life.

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Eggshells

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“The ground only feels fragile when you’re not standing in your truth.” ~ Maria Hagberg

Hello Beautiful People. Did I ever tell you I have a magical gift? I learned to read a room before I learned to read a book. When you have parental units that are walking time bombs you learn at an early age what not to say or do to set them off. Unfortunately this “gift” followed me into adulthood. My daughter got mad at me one day because I would, and still do, wait to share things until the “time is right.” I would try never to ruin my kids’ mornings before school, even if that meant I was the one making the sacrifice because I didn’t want their day to be bad. She said, “Why do you do that? If you have something to say, just say it.” If only it was that easy. You would think at 54 I would have let this go, but there are days I still feel the crunch of egg shells beneath my feet.

In my adult life this “gift” followed me into relationships. I had gone to therapy and at one time became very bold with my words, just saying whatever came to mind, not caring about the other person’s feelings, just wanting my truth to be heard. I was then told I was too harsh and I needed to really watch what I say, because once words are spoken they could be forgiven but never forgotten. This thought almost paralyzed me. I never wanted to hurt people, I just wanted to be heard. Back to therapy I went. Unfortunately not wanting to hurt others meant I wasn’t living my life. I hid my happiness because I didn’t want others to feel bad for not being as happy. I sometimes would let it slip how happy I was and someone would make the comment that, “no one is really that happy” or “no one’s marriage is really that good.” It was easier for me to hide my truth then to be authentic. I was once again feeling the crumble around me.

Wanting to find the happy medium of being able to speak my truth and live my life without worrying about hurting others, back to therapy I went. This time I felt like I had finally understood what my therapists were saying. Trying really hard to allow that frightened child, the young married girl, and the grown woman I had become to speak her truth and live her happy life, I was finally able to sweep up the egg shells from the floor. Unfortunately, I do still find remnants of those shells on the floor now and again as I wait for the “perfect” time to say something, but I no longer fear the bombs that were in my life, nor am I worried about showing the love that surrounds me. I hope if you are walking on egg shells that you too can sweep them away and learn to live out loud and always Find the Good In Your Life.

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UNICORN

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Hello beautiful people! “Always be yourself, unless you can be a Unicorn. Then be a Unicorn.” ~Unknown

Have I ever told you I saw a real Unicorn once? I have loved Unicorns as long as I could remember. I remember reading about them and how magical they were. There was just something I found so fascinating about them, from their magic to being unique in their own way. For my granddaughters, their first favorite animals were also Unicorns… I had nothing to do with that. For my 50th birthday I had a Lisa Frank Unicorn birthday cake. Oh the choke hold she had on me, and still does.

It was the 80’s so don’t come for me, but The Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus was coming to town with a “REAL” Unicorn. I had to go! I remember every fiber in my body believed this was real. When I got there and saw what everyone else said was just a goat with a horn growing out of it’s head, it crushed me because I wanted to believe it was real. I choose to believe it was. (As an adult who has lost some of her whimsy I may have to concede to it being a goat.) My best friend had a Unicorn ring that she would let me wear whenever I went to her house and it made me feel so special. When I told her I was moving she gave me the ring so I could remember her. I have worn that ring for almost 40 years now. It is one of my favorite things. She remains my best friend to this day, and that ring remains magical.

So why do you think so many of us love Unicorns? Do you think it’s the fact that they represent all that’s good? Unicorns, rainbows and sparkle? Do they give us an out when others seem to be all alike but we feel like an outsider so we become an individual, a Unicorn? Playing make believe and knowing our Unicorn could save us because they were also strong. They could take on the biggest of giants with their horns. For me, I like to think of myself as a Unicorn. I still carry the magic/imagination, the strength, the individuality, and the joy that comes from believing. I hope you can find your inner Unicorn and everything that comes when you Find The Good In Your Life.

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Don’t Yuck My Yum!

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Hello beautiful people. “Do your thing. And don’t care if they like it.” — Tina Fey

Have you ever been sharing something with someone and they roll their eyes, or say “I don’t like that”? It’s not just when I’m sharing something that I don’t like, but when someone sees or hears about something someone else has and says, “Yuck, I don’t like that.” That’s ok Becky (made up name) it wasn’t for you. I’ve taught myself over the years, when someone asks me directly if I like something and I don’t, to usually say, “I like it for you, it’s not for me.” And now that I’m thinking about it, I could probably leave out the last part. Seriously, I never want to take away from someone else’s joy of something they like. I do not like candy (love chocolate) but you’ll never catch me yucking my daughter’s yum as she eats jelly beans or Sour Patch Kids.

In this age of keyboard warriors, everyone seems ready to share their opinion — whether you asked for it or not. But here’s the truth: you can hear something or read something and simply… not reply. I’ve caught myself wanting to chime in on things that were none of my business, ready to toss in my two cents. But really, why? If you like pickles and peanut butter, or if you’d rather hike the mountains than sit on the beach, what does that have to do with me? The same goes for parenting choices — co-sleeping, crib sleeping, or anything else. Unless it’s your child, maybe it’s not your say. Why do we feel so entitled to weigh in on other people’s lives?

I don’t know about you, but people seem to want to speak into my life often. I’ve learned not to let it get to me, and when it does, I ask myself two questions: Do they pay my bills? and Do they live in a way I’d want to model my own life after? If not, their opinion doesn’t deserve my energy. We should allow people to enjoy their yums, as long as it does no harm to them or anyone else. So tell me , what’s one of your yums, that thing you love even if others don’t? Life is too short to waste on yucking someone else’s yum. Celebrate your joys, honor theirs, and always, Find the Good in Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming · Uncategorized

How Do You Take Your Mornings?

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Hello Beautiful People! “There are morning people and there people who can’t speak for 2 hours upon waking up and they marry each other.” ~ A Meme I Read

Sorry for the M.I.A. I have been down for the count the past few weeks (it was a month). I do not know what I had but it had me sleeping when I could because I was up coughing my lungs out the other part of the day. My energy was zapped and my focus was gone. However, I am feeling so much better now and I am feeling like writing again. I have homework to catch up on and a book to get in to my publisher, like yesterday, but I felt like blogging first because I saw that meme the other day and thought how true it was.

How do you wake up? Matt is a jump out of bed, brush his teeth, wash his face, get dressed, and let the dogs out, all in the first 15 minutes of opening his eyes. I, on the other hand, wake up, stare out the window watching the sun rise from bed (pictured) as Matt does his thing. I sit up when he’s downstairs to adjust myself because while he’s downstairs letting the dogs out he’s making me a warm beverage (usually tea but sometimes just warm water with lemon). Matt will bring me my drink and I will then just sit and drink it. Don’t get me wrong, I am a morning person. I love mornings. I even enjoy conversations. I just like to move slow. After I am done with my tea, I read, journal, then meditate, look over my planner, all before leaving my bed (except to go the bathroom). I know once I get out of bed I am fair game for the world. Matt will have already finished his morning trades, started work with his clients on the East Coast or England or somewhere else in the world and made breakfast for him and the dogs all before I am ready to get out of bed. When I had a corporate job I still made time for me in the morning. Maybe not as long, but if I don’t take things slow in the morning, then I feel rushed all day long, and nothing is that serious in my life that I need to rush.

There are mornings where I just feel so inspired to write that I will go into the office and just start working and not stop for hours. There are mornings where I will wake up and the house is still, and I will take the dogs down with me (they will be confused) and I will just sit in my living room as the sun rises over the mountain and wonder why I am out of bed. But most days are more like the first, and then once I am up, I go into the office to do work for a few hours before Matt and I go to the gym at 11:30 for a break in the morning. Then once home, lunch is made, then a few more hours of work before we call it a day. There is something about a slow morning/wake-up that sets the day for me. Matt said he needs to be productive as soon as he wakes up to set the day for him. I can see his point, having those mornings every now and again, but my creative juices are still sleeping till at least 8 am. But I am curious, how do you take your mornings? Whatever your mornings are like, I hope you have a good one, and always Find The Good In Your Life.

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Happy Valentines Day

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Hello Beautiful People! “Love her but leave her wild” ~Atticus

How do you celebrate today? Are you someone who likes the big box of chocolate with the big teddy bear and flowers with all the “romantic” stuff there is, or are you the more low key, just a card and a nice dinner at home? I don’t really “celebrate” today. Don’t get me wrong, Matt has in the past, and including today, has gotten me something that I love, but it’s never expected. Just because someone said that today you must show the people you love that you love them. Why would I want to be in a relationship with anyone and wait all year for them to show love? I’ve been in that relationship where the grand gestures were to hold me over till the next big day that they “showed” me they cared. I always felt like it was more for other people to see than for me. I rather have the daily love than the over the top. Don’t get me wrong, I love when Matt surprises me with a BIG gift. Yes, get me a new jeep again, or a trip to Hawaii. I will not complain, but it’s not expected, at least not today.

I have thought about love a lot. How do people show love and do they know that I love them? As you know, I am in Bible College and Pastor Rob said for us to read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, and instead of where it says ‘love’ say ‘I.’ We have heard this so many times at weddings, 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. But it takes on a new meaning when you read it with I.

I am patient, I am kind, I do not envy, I do not boast, I am not proud, I will not dishonor others, I am not self-seeking, I am not easily angered, I will keep no record of wrong, I do not delight in evil but rejoice with truth, I will always protect, I will always trust, I will always persevere. I want to be love and try to live in love, but I am human and some days I fall short. But if today can be about love, let it be the day you choose to be love. Let it be the day you Find The Good In Your Life.

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Groundhog Day

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Hello Beautiful People! “We do not remember days, we remember moments.” ~Unknown

Did you hear that the Kentucky Groundhog passed away? He saw his shadow and then passed. Actually, he didn’t see his shadow this year, so early spring. But how sad for him. Do you remember the movie Groundhog Day with Bill Murray? He had to relive the same day over and over again. Then one day, he was finally out of the loop. In the mean time he did they same thing over and over trying to figure out what would get him out of it. Then he found some moments that he liked and relived them. I’ve thought about that movie and others like it. The Map of Tiny Perfect Things was a good one. In that movie there is a boy and a girl who find out they aren’t the only ones going through the day over and over, and they go through it together. They thought if they could find all the good things in the day, they would get out of the loop. Spoiler alert, it wasn’t until the girl was actually ready to say goodbye to her dying mom that they could move on.

I have asked people if you could relive a day over what would it be? I’ve gotten so many different answers, but most of the time it actually comes down to moments that people would want to relive over and over. One of my husband’s favorite moments is when we were in Hawaii. It was after dinner and we sat at our table that had an amazing view, we were listening to the band sing Somewhere Over the Rainbow, looking out at the water watching the sunset. Matt said he felt so much peace at that moment. He lived in Hawaii growing up so he always feels at home when we are there. I too am an island girl and always feel at home near the ocean. I think most of us, when we think about reliving something, it’s wanting to capture a feeling. I know for me there are so many memories I wish I could hold on to because of those feelings I had in that moment. I love thinking about them because they will put a smile on my face, but I have never been one to want to relive something over again, because I am always waiting for the next moment. I love thinking about that moment Matt and I first kissed and how electric it felt. One of my favorite stories I’ll share another day. But there are so many amazing memories in life, like holding my children or grandchildren for the first time. Staying up all night with my best friends at sleep overs and laughing till we can’t breath. The smile on my high school boyfriend’s face when I told his grandmother I was his girlfriend. Up to that moment we had only been friends. It still makes me laugh to this day. I think about the nights Michelle and I had in DC, eating 7-11 hot dogs at the feet of the Abraham Lincoln Memorial, or riding the carousel over and over. Her and I walking through the museums, sometimes laughing about everything we saw, to sitting in silence as we looked at a Monet painting wondering how they could make us both feel something different. We both always wondered why all of O’Keefe’s pictures looked like vaginas. But I think those memories, even though they were great, all come down to a feeling. The feeling of love, friendship, joy, peace, true happiness, something that can’t be captured, but only felt.

I love pictures. My bestie Bean is an amazing photographer and is always taking pictures. She told me once, “take lots of pictures, because one day that may be all you have left.” She is right. I wish I would have taken more pictures or didn’t throw them away because of a heartache, because there was a memory attached to them. If you have read my blogs for a while you know my grandma had Alzheimer’s and her memory went, but we would look at pictures with her and see if something would trigger a memory. The funny thing is, a smell or a sound would sometimes bring her memory around. When she would talk I could hear her reliving that moment with feeling. Just like when you tell someone a story that made you laugh, they may never understand it like you did because they don’t have the same feeling you do. It’s one of those ‘you had to be there’ things, but they can see how it made you feel. Though we can’t ever go back and recapture those moments in time, we can remember the way that moment made you feel. Matt and I go to Hawaii often, and though we never had that same exact experience again that he recalls as one of his best days, we still make amazing memories there. We still feel peace and happiness there. Though I love remembering the past and sometimes can still conjure up those feelings when I think of that moment, I would never want to relive that moment over and over again. I personally am always looking forward to making new memories. Going some place new or reading a new book is so magical to me. Why would you want to relive one day over and over when there are so many beautiful days ahead. I hope that you can always find those beautiful feelings and memories that make you smile and in every day you can Find The Good In Your Life.

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Thoughts on a rainy day

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Hello Beautiful People! “When life gives you a rainy day, watch Harry Potter” ~ Wise People

I have so many things I always want to write and I have 20 blogs saved that will probably never see the light of day. Sometimes I just write to get out my feelings. I have one that was due to come out earlier in the day but cancelled the auto posting because I wasn’t sure if I was ready to share that story yet. So now I’m sitting in my bed with my laptop, gazing out my balcony window at the rain wondering what I can write about… I guess I’ll talk about writing.

I often get asked how I come up with my stories or blogs. If I tell you I honestly have no idea, you may not believe me, but it’s true. I have a new novel I’m working on, and it all started with one sentence I heard someone say. Literally that is how it works for me. I have been sitting in my favorite coffee shop (shout out to Daily Brew for being a safe haven for my creative mind) and I overhear a conversation, and the next thing I know I am just typing away at a thought or outlining a book. There are days I will go to Disneyland to just sit and people watch to get ideas. I love watching people’s mannerisms to create a character. I have a friend that, whenever you ask him a question, he will stroke his beard as he thinks through the question. I love asking him things, having real conversations, because I noticed how different topics will cause a different motion. I have a spy book I’m working on, and this is part of one of the people’s mannerisms. I have a group of friends I play poker with, and people watching comes in handy with them. Let’s just say I rarely lose. As I write my children’s books I really pay attention to how kids speak to make sure I am relatable to the age group. Before 2020 I was going into schools and speaking to kids about reading and the importance of it, and I always loved when I got to answer questions, because listening to them speak and how they would form their questions became a big part of how I write Luna and Sol. Now I have grandkids, so they are the voices I listen to.

Did I always know I wanted to be a writer? Hmmm… I knew I had stories in me, but because I was dyslexic and writing was hard for me I didn’t think I would ever live my Carrie Bradshaw dreams. When I watched Sex In The City I got excited about watching Carrie write. The thought of writing for a magazine was so amazing to me. She would turn this article in weekly and everyone would read her thoughts and get excited to hear what she had to say next. Who knew that 25 years later writing a blog would be the same as writing an article for a magazine. I also find it “funny” that I like to write my blog on my laptop and my books on my computer. I don’t know if that’s because I saw Carrie writing on her laptop and always thought I, too, would be a girl on the go with my laptop writing for the world. But just know, 9 times out of 10, I have left my office and come into my room to look out the patio door, or I am sitting in a coffee shop hoping to get inspired. I know some of you had questions about getting published and becoming a best seller. When I tell you being a 3-time best seller gives me imposter syndrome… And being published is the craziest feeling when you see your words in your hands. Also very humbling, because now you are out there for the world to criticize, and believe me they do. But if you too want to write, go for it. Do not worry about the nay sayers because they are just jealous that you Found The Good In Your Life.

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Nicknames

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Hello Beautiful People! “Nicknames are fond names, we do not give them to people we dislike.” ~Edna Ferber

I’ve had many nicknames in my life. I’ve loved most of them. I love when someone knows you well enough to call you something that may be an inside joke between you two or a group of friends. That thing that brings you closer because of something you did or something that reminds you of them. My stepdad called me Tinker… it was short for Tinkerbell. I loved watching the Sunday night Disney movies, and when Tinkerbell would come out I would pretend to be her. I, to this day, relate to that little fairy in so many ways, and when I see her I think of him. My best friends called me Ree, and they still do. I got that name in the 7th grade. There was Bean, Bon Bon, Goober, and me, Ree (picture made by Goober). However, Goober, to me, was Fish. Since the day I met her, everything she saw and disliked she would say, “Ew Fish,” so when it was just us I would call her Fish. My best friend’s mom called me Lady Bug. That’s what she called her girls. I loved that she made me one of her girls too. In High School my nickname was Peaches. That nickname has stuck with my West Coast friends. Even now, I’m not sure anyone really remembers my real name. If I see anyone from that time they still call me Peaches, and I love it. My husband has a few nicknames for me. First thing in the morning I’m usually awoken by, “Good morning my beautiful Bride,” but through life I am “Babe.” I loved when these people would say my nickname. To me it means we were close, we had connection, we have history.

Not all nicknames have been things I wanted to be called. I was very thin when I was younger, and very self conscious about it, so if someone called me String Bean or Olive Oil, my heart would hurt. I would always laugh it off and pretend to be fine. I hated any time I would hear my actual name. I always felt like I was in trouble. My mom’s side of the family mostly call me Angela, my middle name. If I heard María from anyone as a child, a knot would form in my stomach because I knew I was in trouble. Heaven forbid If I got the María Angela, I was really in trouble. (Don’t worry, I’ve worked through that in therapy.) I personally would never call someone a nickname they didn’t like. When meeting someone for the first time, if I introduced to them as, “This is Bill but we all call him Tiny,” I’m going to ask if it’s ok that I call them Tiny or do they prefer Bill.

There was no real reason for this topic except I was thinking about names I’ve given people. I love a good last name that can be a nickname. I have friend I only call by her last name. I have nicknames for my children and grandchildren. Any nickname to me is in love. I love the memories that flood back when I hear someone use that name. I remember the laughs we had and the tears we cried, the “thank you for being there,” because nicknames come with history. Do you have a nickname that brings a smile to your face? Please let me know. To those who will ask what I call Matt… Well my response to his good morning is, “Good morning my handsome Hubby.” I have a few nicknames for him, but he is usually Babe also. I do call him Baby Cakes a lot, and Hagberg (our last name) if I am trying to get his attention. I think my favorite name I have ever been called is mom. that was until I was called Gigi. Matt would say his favorite name is Pop. Thinking about all these names has put a smile on my face. I hope that whatever name you go by it will put a smile on your face as you think about it and it always leads you back to Finding The Good In Your Life.

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Time Marches On…

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Hello Beautiful People! “Sometimes it’s the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination.” ~Drake

It’s funny how time goes on no matter what happens. Through a pandemic, through the loss of loved ones, through our happiest to darkest moments, time does not stand still. I, just like many of you, went through many things the past few years, and I grew and changed. I was not sure if I would ever write Find The Good In Your Life again, not because I did not have good in my life, but because my life and way of thinking and writing had changed. I am not the same entrepreneur out to change the world anymore, but just a person wanting to share her life with others through words of her life experiences. If I touch someone’s life through my writing here or with one of my books, I will have made a difference. Here, I guess I want to give a “blueprint” if you will, to help others through their life’s journey as I share my experiences and wisdom that others have given to me.

One of my favorite influencers always says, “Don’t stop until you’re insanley f*cking proud of yourself.” Thanks Gary V. Funny enough I have a Dove candy wrapper that I saved many years ago (pictured) that says “Don’t stop until you are proud” that I have pinned to my cork board that sits in front of me. I choose a new thing to do every year to challenge myself. I have written children’s books, a novel, went skydiving, trained, entered, and won a bikini contest at 52, and this year I am back in school to get a Bachelor’s degree. I don’t know if I do these things every year trying to find something that will make me proud of myself, or just to say I did it. People often say, “You must be so proud of yourself.” I think, “Am I?” I don’t know if I am or if I just expect it from myself. I am not sure what it will look like when I am or is this what I just do and when I’m a 100 I will look back and say, “I had a great life and did many things,” and I will recount the way I lived my life and be proud and close my eyes and pass away. Well, that took a turn I wasn’t expecting. As my therapist says any time I ramble, “You’re just working it out.” Glad I could share my rambling with you.

Well all that to say, time continues to march on and so do we. I am looking forward to sharing life with you and all the things that go with it. I’d like to think that I’ll write daily but that might be expecting too much from myself with the goals I have this year of writing a new Luna and Sol book almost monthly, writing a new novel, and graduating in May. However, I would just like you to know that we make time for the things that are important to us and we can always find the time. Plus, nothing makes me happier than talking to people and asking them if they too can Find The Good In Your Life.

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Holding My Keys

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Hello Sunshines! I remember in my 20’s into my early 30’s I would ache with depression and sadness. I went to the Dr. and was put on Zoloft. I couldn’t figure out why I was so sad all the time. Why the people around me weren’t making me happy. I would cry myself to sleep just wanting to find happiness in my life. I loved my kids but they didn’t make me happy. My husband at the time worked a lot and so I thought it was because he was always gone and we would fight when he was home, so I just knew that was causing my sadness. I ended up getting off medication due to having cancer. Now I felt like I was on my own, nothing to help numb the pain. Fast forward a few years and I went through my divorce. I was alone many nights. I literally had a panic attack in Target because I didn’t know how to be alone. One night something shifted, I took a bath with candles, listening to music, had a glass of wine, read a book instead of turning on the TV, these were things that brought me joy. I realized I had been living for others, my family, my church family, my friends that I stopped living for myself. When I finally took the keys back to my happiness and figured out who I was and things that brought me joy life got better. It took a moment but when I realized I am the one responsible for me and my happiness I never looked for it in others. I create my own happiness and I try daily even when life is busy to slow down long enough to do something that helps me find the good in my life and I hope you slow down long enough to Find The Good In Your Life and take back your keys.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Healthy Eating · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Overcoming · Uncategorized

Hello Again

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Hello Sunshines, it’s been a moment. Let’s just say 2020 happened, twice. I’ll talk about that a little later, but right now, it’s good to be back. How are you? Like many people, I dealt with depression, weight gain, sickness, loss of family and friends, and just the lack of get up and go. I really do celebrate those who took the last 2 years to better themself, get in shape and show up for themselves. I found myself watching and getting inspiration by people on TikTok (not sure how to post, but trying to figure it out). Besides Youtube it’s my favorite thing to watch. (Don’t judge me, this is a judgement free zone). I have written so many blogs, but they all remained in draft because “I just didn’t feel it” once I was done writing. However, something happened that made me realize it was time to be me again and get out of that shell I was in.

My ex-husband died from Covid. That slapped me in my face and in my heart. One of the last conversations he and I had was about time and family. He hoped he had more of it and wished he hadn’t spent so many years being angry because he realized he was angry at people he and I no longer were. We had a family dinner a month before he got sick and talked a few times after that trying to catch up on lost time. We were making plans for when he was going to come out next and we were going to celebrate our granddaughters birthday. We talked about doing another family dinner and just surprising the kids that we were all there and showing them that we really did move past all the anger we had towards one another. When he got sick, I really thought he would be ok, we all did. Unfortunately, I guess it was his time. I grieved so hard, and still have bad moments where I wish he could see the kids being amazing adults and parents. I was asked by someone “why are you so effected by your ex-husbands death?” I realized they had no clue because they had never been married or had children. They didn’t realize just because things didn’t workout between you and that person doesn’t mean that you didn’t still care for them. He was the father of my children, and their pain is also my pain. Plus, I lost someone I had just became friends with after many years of hurt and anger. I know you are thinking, “Aren’t you married?” Yes I am. To the most amazing man who held me for days/months as I cried and mourned the loss of Rohn. Matt is sitting across from me as I write this and smiles every time I wipe a tear because he knows that my words will help someone else one day. If I have taken anything from Rohn’s passing, it really is to not wait to live. He said when he got out of the hospital he was going to spend more time in California with the family and take care of himself better. So to that…

I have a friend who made a life change, he lost over 100 pounds. He said something in one of his posts that has stuck with me, he said “Commit to yourself“. I realized I was showing up for others and making commitments to others once again, and I had gotten into the past habit of not showing up for myself. I know back in the “old days” women put themselves last and our husbands and children came first. Thank God we figured out that we can’t show up for them at 100% if we don’t show up for ourselves first. It’s so important to make time for us, to commit to yourself first. We all know we are stuck with ourselves forever, so we might as well be the best us we can be, mentally, physically, and emotionally. So, I did it, I committed to myself. I decided that I would show up daily as my best self. I will work out and eat better, I will continue to grow as a person and I will heal from the things that once broke me.

I do not believe in New Years resolutions, but I do believe in change. Anyone can change if they want to. We usually change when there is a life changing event that happens. This time for me it was Rohn’s passing. I do not want to wish I would have done anything. I want to say “remember that time I did____.” I have always been the one who sees the good in everything and everyone, and for a moment I forgot who I was. My motto has always been, “if it’s not positive, uplifting and encouraging, it doesn’t need to be said.” I still believe that for myself. Any how, as I said, I’m back, and I hope you will enjoy reading my blogs, that I WILL post, because they are good enough (self talk is important). I hope you commit to yourself and Find The Good In Your Life, even in those dark moments, even if it takes a little time.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Overcoming · Uncategorized

Are You Happy?

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Good Morning Sunshines, it’s been a while . I have so much to catch you up on, but that won’t be today. Can you believe it’s 2020? I seriously had an OMG 😱 moment a few months ago when I realized that it was 2020 and how long ago 2000 was and what was I doing when we all thought the world would stop spinning that night. Any who, that’s not why I decided to blog today. I wanted to talk about happiness.

Are you happy? I am. But what is happiness? What makes you happy? This last 5 months I did a training with some people, and for everyone else there was a 4 week open invitation for everyone to watch on Find The Good In Your Life (Facebook and Insta). One of the things we focused on was Finding The Good In Your Life and finding happiness in all situations. Here are the top 5 questions my clients and people in general ask me about happiness. “Why is it so hard to be happy?” “What does happiness look like?” “Is joy and happiness the same thing?” “Is happiness different for everyone?” “Why are some people just always happy?”

Well, I’m happy to answer those for you ….

“Why is it so hard to be happy?” Most of the time it’s hard to be happy because we find ourselves either thinking about the past, wishing things could have been different or worrying about the the future. I have found when I live in the now I can find things to be thankful for, and when you are being thankful it’s hard to focus on the negative. (You will hear/read me saying this a lot.)

“What does happiness look like?” I truly believe it’s different for every person. Happiness does not mean all rainbows, unicorns and sunshine for everyone. For many people, happiness can just look and feel like contentment. What do I mean by contentment? It does not mean that you are not striving for more but that you are happy (content) at that moment.

“Is joy and happiness the same thing?” No. Joy is a peace that you have when you are good with you. Being able to accept yourself for who you are and where you are. It doesn’t mean you aren’t still trying to become a better version of you, it just means you have peace with where you are right now. Happiness is usually based on the situation, memory, “feeling” you have.

“Is happiness different for everyone?” Happiness is different for everyone based on life experience, and science also says some are born with more of the gene that causes happiness. Don’t use that as an excuse to why you’re not happy. They have found that even those who have less of this gene can still change their DNA in a way that they cannot tell you are lacking, but you must work on it. I do understand that there are people who have medical conditions that can cause depression that may need medication, but even those people can find happiness with work, maybe therapy or someone who has been studying happiness and the brain for years. (That’s why I am here. I have been doing this for years.)

“Why are some people just always happy?” Are you ready for the hard truth…? They choose to be. Yup, it all comes down to a choice . It doesn’t mean you won’t have bad days or things won’t go wrong, but when you decide you want to be happy and that you actually want to find joy and peace, you will work toward it like you never have before. You will learn what things bring you happiness. What you won’t settle for anymore. Maybe it means removing negative people and situations out of your life.

How are you feeling right now after reading that? I hope you feel hopeful. I want you to be happy, but more than anything I want you to have joy and to be able to Find The Good In Your Life in every situation. I’m here if you want/need to talk.

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · Uncategorized

“You can still smell the roses and be on a mission” ~ India Arie (Beautiful Day)

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Hello Sunshines! Have you ever been so busy that you forget to have a life? I love the quote I used today from India because it’s a reminder that you can take a break and rest. I sometimes feel like people get so caught up in doing things that they never just sit and enjoy the moment. I am so guilty of this. My life was so full of stuff to do but I never felt like I was accomplishing anything, I was just repeating the same thing day after day. I was like a hamster on his wheel, going round and around. I’d get up go to work, come home, work some more, maybe watch tv, go to bed, repeat. I lived for the weekend, when I didn’t have to go into the office to work but instead could work from home, you know, and “spend time with the family.”

One day I realized this was happening and I decided I was done with that life. I didn’t get paid extra to work as hard as I was and I wasn’t going to move up any further in the company, I had hit my cap. I had to reevaluate what I was doing with my life. I had to take serious look at my life and what I wanted. I wanted to be a writer, I wanted to help people, and the job I was in was not getting me there. You know the story if you read my other blogs or follow me. I quit my job and wrote two best sellers. I just wrote book three of the series and am now working on a novel.

However, I found myself getting back in that rut even doing what I love. I love Find The Good In Your Life (Insta and FaceBook) doing videos and doing one on one coaching. I love writing. Seriously, I wish my brain would let me do more of it. But I found myself being so “busy” making sure I was being productive every day with every minute that I needed to stop for a moment, smell the roses and realize that this life is a journey, not the destination, and that I will get everything done that I’m supposed to get done, or it wasn’t meant to be. I had a talk with my hubby this morning about needing to take a step back from something I was planning on doing because I needed/wanted to focus on my novel more. It doesn’t mean the other thing won’t happen, it just means I will wait to accomplish that goal at a later date. I don’t know about you but I don’t want to be too busy that I forget to live. I want to Find The Good In My Life every day, not just after I hit the goal.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Healthy Eating · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

80 Days To Slay

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Positive, uplifting, encouraging, entrepreneurs, goals, setting goals, mindset, family, life,

“Nothing stops the man who desires to achieve. Every obstacle is simply a course to develop his achievement muscle. It’s a strengthening of his powers of accomplishment.” ~ Thomas Carlyle

Hello Sunshines! Long time no talk. There is only 80 more days till January 1, 2020. How are you going to end 2019? Not just 2019 but the end to this decade. I didn’t give it a lot of thought going from 1999 to 2000 or from 2010 to 2011. I take that back going from 1999 to 2000 everyone was worried about how computers would handle everything at midnight and would the world come to an end. I laugh at these things now, but back then, it was serious. We didn’t go out to celebrate, we stayed with family, you know “just in case”. Everything seems so different in my life from 2000 to now. When someone says 10 years ago, I still think the 90’s, 20 years ago I think the 80’s, boy am I off. So what has changed?

My Life almost feels like a blur for the past 40 plus years. No, I never did drugs. Why does it all seem to be coming into focus now? Is it because I can see my goals more clearly now than ever before? I almost feel like everything before now was just a “wish” with very little action. Then one day I woke up and realized how to actually put action behind those wishes and make them a reality. Tomorrow will be one year that I released my first book, and went #1. I have written 3 books (chapter books for elementary kids) this year and I’m now working on a novel to come out May of 2020. I’ve traveled, done some public speaking (not as much as I’d like to do) for Find The Good In Your Life, and have become healthier than I was before (not where I want to be).

But really, what changed? Why are those “wishes” becoming a reality? I seriously took action. I know what I want, and how I want it. I/We have 80 days left till 2020 and I am going to finish strong. I have some goals to still reach this year and I will accomplish them. One thing I have seriously wrestled with this year is discipline. The next 80 days will be me being disciplined with the things I need to do, to move forward. I said 2019 was all about “Expecting” 2020 will be the year of “Receiving” but I set my self and my family up to succeed by laying down a foundation to make those “wishes” a reality. It’s not too late. Right now, you can stop “wishing” and start doing. I want you to ask your self a serious question, “Am I only wishing things will get better or am I doing something to make it better?” Whatever, “IT” is, you can change it. Your health, your marriage, relationships, self discipline, work, whatever it is, let’s work together to Find The Good In Your Life. 

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It’s My Birthday

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Sunshine, Rainbows, and Cotton Candy

Hello Sunshines! “Count your life by smiles, not tears. Count your age by friends, not years.” – Unknown

Today I am 48 ( I know I look great) and because I choose to surround myself with things that bring me joy I decided to write 48 things that bring me joy (in no particular order), I could have gone longer but it was my birthday number.

1. Waking up next to my hubby

2. Watching the sunrise from my bed

3. The smell of jasmine, honeysuckles, and orange blossom

4. Matcha Rose Latte

5. Pinterest 

6. Driving with the windows down listening to music

7. Brunch

8. 82° weather

9. Our granddaughter (her laugh, when she says “Nummy,” the way she dances, the way she loves her kitty, how smart she is. I could go on)

10. My dogs playing

11. Holding Matt’s hand

12. Holding Matt’s hand while we pray

13. Keto Coffee 

14. Laughing with friends

15. A good book

16. Sunsets

17. Cruises

18. Room service

19. Good music (I like all kinds of music)

20. Flowers

21. Easter

22. Hiking

23. Star gazing 

24. The color orange

25. Baseball

26. Writing

27. A clean house

28. How I feel after I workout (not usually the workout)

29. Traveling

30. Salted Caramel hot chocolate from Ghirardelli

31. Toasted marshmallows

32. Fire pits

33. Matt’s kisses

34. Seeing my kids being adult and doing well

35. Public speaking 

36. Pod casts

37. Facetime

38. Game night with family

39. Mini golf

40. True friendships

41. Hugs

42. Kitty Perry snuggles

43. NCIS (all of them) and Hawaii 5-0

44. Tacos from Sancho’s

45. Dream Building

46. Disneyland

47. A fresh cut and color

48. You who is reading this

I hope you find joy every day and continue to Find The Good In Your Life

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It’s A New Year!!!

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55479477-7292-4317-85FA-6DB6C9E0DD14-6410-000005A7893504A3Hello Sunshines! “Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.” ~Oprah Winfrey

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! did you get everything accomplished you wanted to do in 2018? Me neither. Let me share where I fell short

  1. I didn’t work out 5 times a week ( I averaged 3)
  2. I didn’t complete my second book before the new year (waiting on illustrator)
  3. I didn’t write every day

So, what did I accomplish this year?

  1. I became a best-selling children’s author
  2. I wrote a blog
  3. Started a YouTube thing (Story Time With Gigi). Is that a Vlog?
  4. I fought depression and won (some days it was so bad I couldn’t get out of bed)
  5. I found out I am stronger and more capable than I thought
  6. Found out there are people out there rooting for me that I didn’t even know (and people I thought would be there, who have yet to show up)
  7. I lost 16 of the 50 pounds I want/need to lose
  8. Danced at my daughter’s wedding
  9. Celebrated my granddaughter’s 1st birthday
  10. Traveled for a month with my hubby

Just to name a few things. I’m excited for 2019 and all it will have in store. I believe this will be an incredible year. Be on the lookout for amazing opportunities, because I believe all we have to do is be open to them and they will come. I am expecting great things for 2019 (I think I just found my word for 2019… expecting).

This is what my 2019 looks like:

  1. Start a marriage YouTube with my Hubby (look for it on Saturdays and Tuesdays) Morning Coffee, starts January 5, 2019
  2. Write and publish 3 more books this year
  3. Do public speaking/reading
  4. Travel
  5. Continue to get healthy (I want to lose at least 33 more pounds)
  6. Write more blogs (I miss writing on here)
  7. Spend more time with friends
  8. Read at least 1 book a week (not just “self-help” but fun books too)
  9. Give my all to everything I do
  10. Have fun

Those are my top 10. How about you? Tell me about it.  I’m looking forward to hearing how you will be Finding The Good In Your Life.

family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

Red Sparkly Shoes

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IMG_3375-1Good Morning Sunshines! “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” Mark Twain

I have these beautiful butterfly plates that I love to use but my husband only wants me to use on “special occasions.” This is where we differ. When my daughter was little she had these red sparkly shoes that she loved to wear. She had family members that when she went with them would ask that I not allow her to wear those shoes because they did not match what she was wearing. Trust me, this was hard for me because I was a parent that always had to make sure my kids were clean, clothes ironed, and hair done before they left the house. My kids had to be the “put together” kids. However, when it came to these red shoes I always made an exception. These shoes brought her so much joy. I would ask her, “Why do you ‘need’ to wear those shoes, when you have so many other shoes?” Her answer was always the same, “They are special shoes, they make me feel so pretty.” How was I going to argue with that. Explaining to a three year old that you are pretty no matter what you wear just wasn’t cutting it. (A little side note, my nickname for my daughter is also Pretty… she is My Pretty.)

I had an Aunt Marie. One summer I was sent to go stay there after my Uncle Al had passed away. I always thought she was odd with the way she did certain things, until I got older. Aunt Marie had this beautiful china we would eat on, and we used linen napkins. She had her friends come over to play cards and they were always dressed up. We would go to the store dressed in a nice dress. I remember sitting in the living room reading a book and hearing her friends talk about how nice it was to get dressed up when they would come over because it wasn’t something people did anymore. I asked my Aunt why she enjoyed getting dressed up. She said every day was special and she didn’t want to wait for a special occasion to get dressed up or to eat on her china when she could do it every day. I asked her then how will you know when it’s a really special occasion. She just smiled and said, “Don’t worry about that, people will tell you.” I never really understood that until lately.

We all have those friends that do something and we’ll say, “They are so extra.” I am sure people say that about me often, but that is ok. See, I want to be the person who uses her china (if I had any) for every day plates, or wear my sparkly shoes because they make me feel pretty. (I do have some but mine are pink) I want to be the person who makes you stop and think, like my Aunt Marie did for me. I have said this a 100 times and so has so many other people in your lives, “Tomorrow is not promised.” I do not live my life in a fear of “what if I die tomorrow,” but in the place of “I did everything I could today.” I enjoyed today. Today I lived my best life. I may have to work, maybe even at a job I don’t really like, but before work, after work, on my lunch break, I did something that bettered my today. I am pursuing the life I want. So, I will eat toast off of my butterfly plates. I will take a bath almost every night and use my Lush bath bombs, and if I have a not so good day, I may even use a whole bath bomb and bubbles and dip down to my nose as the bubbles consume me like I would when I was a kid. I want to be “extra.” I want to live my extra best life every day. I also want you to live your extra best life. Today is the day you Find The Good In Your Life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · over coming · Uncategorized

I Did Something Scary

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IMG_2835Good Morning Sunshines! “When is the last time you did something that scared you, but in a good way. Scared you like butterflies in your stomach, kind of want to throw up a little bit, I will stretch myself and rise to the occasion, kind of scary?!” ~Janelle Espling

I’ve just done something that scares me. Scares me in a good way, but it still scares me. Let me tell you why. When I was 12 years old I had a best friend who I would pass notes back and forth with in the halls at school. Sometimes she would return my notes to me with red ink on them to correct my spelling. She did this thinking it was being helpful and I shrugged it off. I had no idea how much this affected me until years later.

I have always wanted to write. I love to write, share stories, help others grow, improve their lives, and make people happy. However, because of what happened when I was 12, it kept stopping me. I would write and put things away. I would get excited but never wanted to share. Every time I failed to hit my goal of doing something it didn’t surprise me. I would get knocked down and wonder how I got back up. Well this last time when I fell, I landed on my back and when I did, I saw the way up, and there was a hand reaching down to pull me up.

There is a saying, “A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you forget the words.” When I married my hubby, he was my best friend first. He knew my dreams and he would remind me all the time. Finally, as I laid on my back looking up, feeling defeated, my Hubby reached his hand down and lifted me up. He told me to write and he would read it all and check my spelling, grammar, punctuations, etc. So, I did it. It took me several months (ok, maybe a year or so) but I finally wrote my first of many children’s books. So, if you’re feeling like you got knocked down, I am reaching down to you and ready to help pull you up and help you. What is it you have been wanting to do but put away? Let’s talk about it. I want to help you Find The Good In Your Life.

 

 

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Healthy Eating · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

September Is The New January

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NPP Delta II LaunchHello Sunshines! “Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.” Meister Eckhart

Happy New Year!!! I know you’re thinking I’ve lost my mind. It’s been 9 months since you made your 2018 New Years resolution….How’s it going? I know I fell off track some. I said I would write daily and post weekly. Well, y’all know that didn’t happen. I was going to start Vlogging… ummm, I’m scared of the camera. I wanted to work out at least 5 times a week and lose 20 pounds. LOL, now I only need to lose 25 pounds. I wanted to finish my book by May… well, I didn’t finish it till July.

What were your goals in January? How did you get off track? Was it the holidays, spring break, summer, vacations, the kids? This is why I said September is the new January. The kids are all back in school tomorrow. The next big holiday is 2 1/2 months away. Think of all the things you can do if you truly focus for the next 2 months. You’ll also be ahead of all those people who don’t start till January. Why do we wait to start? I know so many people feel like Monday is the best time to start because it’s the start to a new week. However, I’m going to challenge you to just start or pick back up where you left off. Don’t wait till next Monday, start tomorrow. Heck, start today! Whatever the goal is that you had in mind for this year it can still be accomplished, this year.

Tonight I want you to write down your to do list for tomorrow. Make sure to include those things you wanted for yourself. You may have to get up earlier. I promise you if you get up before everyone else to do what you want to do, it will set the mood in a positive way for you. Tomorrow morning when your alarm goes off, do not hit the snooze. I want you to count backwards… 5,4,3,2,1 and then get up like a rocket ship (listen to Mel Robbins- Outsmart Your Brain to fully understand why this works) You have a 5 second window to make decisions to change your life. Tomorrow morning will you decide today is the day or will you continue to let your dreams not come to life in 2018?

September is my January! I am writing again. My first children’s book is done. The second will be complete by the end of the year and I have other things in the works too. What is it that you said you were going to do but got sidetracked? Really, I want to know! That business you wanted to start, DO IT! I’m waiting to hear how you decided that this 4th quarter was going to be the best part of your year. I believe in you and I believe that this September you will Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

Adjusting To The Dark

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dark

Good Morning Sunshines! “Just like our eyes, our hearts have a way of adjusting to the dark.” – Adam Stanley

It’s been a few weeks since I last wrote but I have been thinking about this for a while. I was telling my hubby one night as I was walking upstairs in the dark that I realized I closed my eyes until I got to the light switch in our room. I asked him if he did the same. He said no, that he can see in the dark. You can see in the dark? Then I started leaving my eyes open in the dark and my eyes would adjust after a few minutes. I knew this was a thing, but all of a sudden I had a revelation to other things in life.

Being in the dark and letting our eyes adjust is a metaphor for so many things. I was having coffee one morning with a young lady who said, “When you’ve been in the dark for so long, your eyes start to adjust.” I almost fell out of my seat. She had no idea I had been thinking about this blog, not even sure she reads my blogs. But here it was again, our eyes adjusting to the dark. I realized it was “US” lying to ourselves. It could be the smallest thing but we soon adjust. My morning routine got thrown out the window the last few weeks while I planned an event. I would still read my bible and pray but it was kind of rushed. I even missed a few days. I didn’t work out, I didn’t write, and it was becoming ok because I was doing “something important.” The truth is, I was adjusting. I had lied to myself saying I will get back my “normal” when the crazy is over, where in reality I should have kept my “normal” and adjusted everything else to go with my lifestyle. However, my eyes were adjusting to the dark, my new “normal,” and I didn’t even notice til now. How did I notice I was living in the dark and had just adjusted my eyes?

On the morning of the event I knew it was going to be a crazy day so I grabbed my journal, and as I read my Bible that morning I went to write down what I was reading and feeling and saw it had been 3 weeks that I hadn’t journaled. WHAT!?!? How did that happen? I knew right then I needed to throw on the light switch and get back to what I knew to be true and what my “normal” was. I still had crazy going on for a few more days and because I had let myself adjust to the dark, it was taking me a minute to adjust to the light. Think about it; when you have been in a movie and walk outside, your eyes had gotten so used to the dark, you throw your hand up to protect your eyes, you squint, you have to get used to what was your norm all over again. So this week, little by little, I have been readjusting to the light and getting back to my norm.

Have you started to accept things in your life as “normal” because you let your eyes adjust to the dark? It could be as simple as mine, or it could be like my past of an abusive marriage where I thought “normal” was the words that were spoken to me, or the addiction of my mother. Those things were my “normal” until someone showed me that I had been living in the dark and had adjusted my eyes to see what I wanted in the dark. I hope today you can readjust your eyes and start seeing in the light again and Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

Where Did You Go?

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img_3385Good Morning Sunshines! “Do not allow negative people to turn you into one of them” ~ Anonymous

Have you ever woken up one morning and wondered what happened to you? How did I get here? I just had that morning. I woke up wondering how I allowed someone to speak into my life so much that they made me negative. Let me stop right there. They didn’t make me negative, how I responded to them made me negative. They drive me crazy but I still put myself in a position to allow them to speak into me in a way that is bothersome. I’ve never had this challenge before. I have always been able to remove negative out of my life. This is the first time I’m choosing to stay for the sake of the bigger picture, but now I have to figure out how to deal with what is happening and how I will respond. So I go to what I teach other people.

Use the grocery store method. When you go to the grocery store you only take what you need. You never need everything in the store, so leave those things there. I’m sure there is some positive I can walk away with, so that’s what I’ll do. Remember, everyone is in different places in their walks of life. Just because they aren’t where you are doesn’t mean they aren’t growing. View this as an opportunity for you to grow also. You may be stretched out of your comfort zone right now, and that’s ok. What can you learn while you are going through this? Do not complain to others! Trust me, I know this one is hard. If you have one person you counsel with or a spouse you can talk to, talk to them. However, the last thing you want to do is be known as the person who is always complaining. Especially if you know this someone (boss, co-worker, friend, family member) is bothering everyone else too, it can be hard not to entertain the venting conversations with others. However, if things get too bad and it starts to affect your health and mental well being, it may be time to break ties, find a new job, and/or cut people off.

So, I’m walking away with this today. I will not allow anyone to cause me to lose me. I am a positive, uplifting and encouraging person. That’s what I love to do. And who I love to be. I want to be that person that people enjoy to be around because I uplift their day. I never want anyone to run away from me because I am negative. As I continue to read, listen to podcast and learn from others who have walked where I am going, I am thankful for those who continue to help me Find The Good In My Life.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

It’s Not Too Late

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Good Morning Sunshines! “It’s never too late to be what you might have been.” George Elliot

Imagine you are 100 years old and you are laying in bed taking your last breaths and standing around your bed was not your family and friends but instead, it was all of your hopes, dreams, visions and talents you were given but never used. The books you never wrote because you were too worried about what others would think. The business you didn’t start because no one else could understand your vision, so they talked you out of your dream. The trip you never took because it was “never the right time.” The family you never had because you needed everything to be “just right” before you could do that. How would you feel knowing these things were going to die with you? I know this might sound a bit morbid, but the truth is that no one can do what you can do.

I lived in limbo for years of the things I wanted to do for myself. I would use my kids as an excuse. I would tell myself, “When they are grown up I will do the things I want to do.” Well they grew up, got married, and I still waited. What was I was waiting for? A few years ago when I had my strokes and was working way too much I knew, this is not the life I want to be living. What was going to change and how was I going to do it? I quit my job and started writing my first of many children’s books, but just couldn’t finish them. I have been doing other things too. Started a new company with my hubby, but he does most of the work for that. I help when I can. Very active at church. I spend most of my time there. However, knowing what my “calling” is and not fulfilling it was really getting to me.

So, what was I going to do? I had to think what made me come alive? What did I want to be when I grew up? I know this might sound funny to some, but I loved the show Sex and the City. To me it was a great show about friendships, and anyone who knows me knows I love, love and friendship. I’ll watch anything about friendships (including cartoons). So, while watching this show I would love watching Sarah Jessica Parker’s character Carrie Bradshaw. She would write an article for a newspaper and every time she did it made something in me stir. I knew I wanted/needed to write. Yes, every time I write my blog I think of Carrie Bradshaw. My articles will probably never be like hers, but I love the writing. I also knew I needed to write the children’s books because my kids would tell me when they were little they couldn’t find my stories in the library and they needed to know what happened next. So, I did it. I started writing my blog, channeling my inner Carrie Bradshaw. But, the most exciting thing, I finished my first book. Doing some rewrites right now, but it’s done. The moral to this story, it’s never too late, unless you are laying on your death-bed, to follow your dreams and live out the life you always believed you should have. What makes you come alive? What do you want to be when you grow up? Now it’s your turn to start living for you and Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Healthy Eating · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

Discipline

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Good Morning Sunshines! “Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments.” ~Jim Rohn

I have been writing a piece called being a crockpot in a microwave world. I hated it! I deleted it! I also cleared out the other 12 that I haven’t published because they just weren’t good enough. Have you ever just been working on something and said “NO!” I have in the past, been working on a project for months and trashed it and started over when It was due in the next few days. Seriously I have no idea where this is going today…

Discipline, I am not a fan of the definition that is given in the dictionary, they all sound so harsh (the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience😧). I think of discipline as practicing a specific desired behavior.

I had to have mind shift the last few days. I had a “belly ache” last weekend. You may think that’s not a big deal. Well, when you have the GI challenges like I do, you know, this is a big deal. I did it to myself. I won’t tell you how many doughnuts I ate, but it was just wrong. After being hospitalized for this almost a year ago you would think I had learned. But apparently I needed one more reminder before getting it. I would try to start eating healthy, but then I would say “I lack discipline” to give up the sugar, cake, donuts, sweets in general. I was listening to a podcast and, what was it on, but discipline. As I was listening to this I realized, I didn’t lack discipline. I am disciplined. I get up every morning at about the same time, with no alarm clock needed, I read, I journal, I have a To Do List, I know my Why, I workout several times a week, I get my work done in a timely manner. So what the heck!?!? I have literally spoken to groups of people about being disciplined but never when it came to this… eating healthy.

So, what happened you asked? I had a wake-up call. After listening to the podcast on discipline, I listened to Warren Buffet in one of his podcasts. He was asking the kids, “If I told you I would buy you any car you wanted and when you left today it would be outside waiting on you when you left, you would ask me what the catch is. The catch is, it’s the only car you get for the rest of your life. How would you take care of it?” The kids were saying they would take great care of it, getting regular oil changes, putting the best gas in it, and take the best care of it. Then Warren Buffet had a drop the mic moment, he said, “Well, I’m here to tell you this is the only body you get, take care of it!”  I realized it wasn’t that I wasn’t disciplined, it was I was lacking my WHY. I have always had a why when I do anything. Yes, I knew this was my only body I would get, but hearing it like that was a smack in the face. What was going to happen when I had grandkids who lived here and were over every day and they wanted me to run around with them? I know that when I eat sugar the inflammation that happens in my body is serious. So, I found my why and I decided to make a change. I know I can be disciplined in all areas of my life, including food. Yup, it’s hard just like it was waking up every morning and following my morning routine. But I found when you want something bad enough, you will find a way. I want to be healthy and be an example for my family and others. It’s why I do anything I do, to help others. I always want to help you Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

T.M.I. Friday – Me

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Image-1-3Good Morning Sunshines! “I’m a big believer that your life is basically a sum of all the choices you make. The better your choices, the better the opportunity to lead a happy life.” ~Karen Salmansohn

T.M.I. Friday – Me. So the blog I wrote yesterday is not what I decided to publish today. In my “to be published” are 9 things that I’ve written lately and then changed my mind for whatever reason, deciding not hit the publish button. So, what am I going to talk about if it wasn’t that bit from yesterday…..

Three rules I try to live by….One: At an early age I remember my grandma telling me, “If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.” Little did I know she was quoting Thumper from Bambi. However, this rule has stuck with me most of my life. Did you know it’s possible to see something on social media and not reply to it? It is! You can scroll right on by. Trust me, I have written out my fair share of “I can’t believe you just said that” responses and then deleted them. Mainly because I can still hear my grandma asking me “Was that nice?”

Two: Never Mess With Anyone’s Family or Money. In one of our business ventures we weren’t making a profit. We made enough to make sure our employees could get paid but not really us. This was a struggle. Knowing that one day this wouldn’t be a challenge we continued to push forward. We also knew if you treated people the way you would like to be treated, most of them would do the same, so we were great to our employees. Needing to leave the store early one night, we asked one of our people if she could close up for us. “Sure, no problem,” she said. Well the next day we get to the store and find out she had sex in our back room and cleaned our petty cash to order food. We left her alone for what should have been 15 minutes and she was there for hours doing us wrong. Needless to say, she was fired. We didn’t really have the money to pay her to stay longer, but we sacrificed and took from our family to make sure she had what she needed, only to have her “screw” us over. All I could think was, “You took from my family.” I had to refer to rule one in order to not call her out of her name and stick to the facts.

Three: Always be Positive, Uplifting and Encouraging. I guess this kind of goes with rule one, but I think it deserves its own rule. We never know what someone is going through, so to say something positive, uplifting or encouraging to them could really change their day. But not only to others, but also ourselves. When my kids were little, and probably still now, if they said anything mean about themselves or their sibling I would make them say 3 nice things. I know for all the negative that we hear it takes a lot more positive to undo the negative. So if you are like I was, saying things are negative about yourself, you need to say at least 3 positives about yourself to overcome that. What you say to yourself can be even more damaging than what that bully in your life would say. It’s ok to say you are amazing, you are an overcomer, you are going to kick butt in this new business (even if others say you can’t, show them you can). You do not need to believe what others, or even you, have said in the past. You can rewrite your own story. I have! (I’ll save that soap box for another day) However, today as you get to know me a little better, I hope I help you Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · technoligy · Uncategorized

What Are You Doing With Your Time?

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clockGood Morning Sunshines! “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” ~ Steve Jobs

Time is no respecter of person. It doesn’t matter if you are rich or poor, you get the same amount. You can’t buy more time. You can’t borrow from tomorrow’s and you can’t take back what you “waisted” yesterday. No matter what happens or what family you are born into, you get the same 24 hours as everyone else. How are you using it?

This morning when Elon Musk or Warren Buffett woke up they were not granted more hours in their day because of how productive they were in the past. I do not know them, but something tells me they probably didn’t binge watch something on Netflix yesterday.

While I was researching how different people use their time I found a common denominator for those who are most productive and wealthy. It’s how they were using their time that really mattered. I don’t know about you, but I had always heard, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” or “Sleep is for broke people.” Actually, that is quite opposite of what I was reading and the podcast I watched. “They” (those who are where I want to be) said sleep was important. You can only make so many good decisions a day and without a good 6 to 8 hours of sleep a night you may make a costly mistake. Going to bed early so you can wake up early was actually recommended. The most productive hours in the day are first thing in the morning, if you use them right. So I listened to what they said and started using my morning time more wisely. I know I’ve talked about this before but I think it’s worth repeating. First thing in the morning, give to you. For me that looks like, reading my bible, praying, journaling, reading, writing my blog or working on my book and then working out. That is my first few hours of my day. I was feeling pretty good about how I was spending my mornings and my routine. Then things got a little trickier.

What did they do with the rest of their day? It looked like a lot of research, meetings, making decisions, returning emails (but only twice a day, that is important because you can get caught up answering emails every 5 minutes depending on what you do) giving back to the community, investing in people, teaching, learning. I got excited! Investing in people, that’s what I do! How were they doing that? One of the things that all these people said and had in common was they are always reading and learning from others so they can pour into others. Yes! They all spent at least an hour a day reading and learning from others. Even Warren Buffett said he still learns something new every day. The other thing that these people had in common was not only had they established a morning routine, they had a night routine. For some it was tuning out the world and reading and writing things they were thankful for that day. One thing they all said was before bed they would journal down their goals, and make a “To Do” list for the next day. This always kept their why in front of them and helped keep their dream alive.

For some people being a millionaire may not be your thing. I have a friend whose goal right now is to be the best mom and wife she can be. As she and I talked about all this for the past few weeks, she set goals on how she would do this and she saw a change in her house and family. She found there was less stress in the house. What had changed? She was taking the first and last part of the day for her and not feeling guilty that she needed a moment. She said becoming a morning person was a huge change for her, but she found that it made a difference when she started they day off right. Setting a routine for her kids and herself helped make things run smoother. She says she is able to be a better wife because she isn’t feeling so stressed, and when her husband comes home she is able to enjoy that time with him and not feel like she needs to be rescued from the chaos that was her life.

My point, time is precious. How are you using it? Do you need help on how to manage your time? I’m here to help you, if you need it. We are all given the same amount. Are you going to use it to help you Find The Good In Your Life?

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Inspirational · Uncategorized

T.M.I. Friday – My Hubby

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Good Morning Sunshines! “Let a wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.” ~ Martin Luther

T.M.I. Friday….Let me tell ya about my Hubby! He is my best friend and one of the strongest men I’ve ever known. We fell in love because of the common goals we had in life and our love for poker. It amazes me how he will say “I’m going to do ______”, and do it. His will power is amazing. I will get jealous because he has no problem giving up food or starting something new and sticking to it. Discipline is not something he lacks. I’m very attracted to his mind. I have been told that this is called sapiosexual. (A sapiosexual is someone who finds sexual stimulation from the way a person’s mind works. It means you literally are attracted to intelligence.) Yup, I find it very sexy!

One of the things I love most is his heart. He says he lacks empathy and there has been times where this has been shown, but with strangers. However when it comes to family and close friends I have seen him love unconditionally. One of my favorite things he does is, when I’m having a moment because I have given out so much he will speak words of affirmation over me. We call this “Good Stuff”. There are times when I will come up to him and say, “Babe, I need good stuff,” and he will speak back life into me. He will say things like, “You are an amazing wife, friend and mother. I love how you love on people.” Things like that. I am thankful that I have someone who will speak love into me, because the world does not always do that.

I still get butterflies when I know he’s on his way home, like when I knew he was on his way over to pick me up for a date. I still see fireworks every time we kiss and my knees go weak. When he holds my hand it calms me like nothing and no one could. We call our bed our island. When we are there nothing and no one can get to us. This is our safe place where we can have conversations, “pillow talk,” that might be hard to have, but in this safe place we have made life changing decisions. I am so thankful that I have my best friend to walk through life with. I get excited thinking about all the places we will go together and all the things we get to do together. I plan to live to be 101 and when we are looking back at our lives and still holding hands I will forever be grateful that I did it all with him. My hubby is some of the best Good In My Life.

 

family · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

I Am Thankful

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Good Morning Sunshines! “When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” ~ Willie Nelson

I am so thankful for another day. I have started writing this at least 5 times and deleted it because all I can think is I am so thankful for another day. Why am I so thankful? I am thankful for another day to try again. I am thankful for my family. I am thankful that I get to go spend some time with some amazing ladies today. I am thankful that I get to do laundry today. I am thankful that I can call my mom later and check on her. I am thankful that I learned from my mistakes of yesterday. I am thankful I woke up next my hubby. I am thankful for friendships that have turned into “family”. I am thankful I have a place to call home. I am thankful I live in Cali. I am thankful for my animals. I am thankful for social media. I am thankful that I have time for others. I am thankful for those quiet moments when I can just sit and appreciate all that I am thankful for. I am thankful for my daughters laugh. I am thankful when I get a call or text from my son. I am thankful for my granddaughter. I am thankful I have my husbands hand to hold. I am thankful I get to go workout today. I am thankful for my marriage. I am thankful for pillow talk with my hubby.

I could go on but I won’t. Most of the times we count our blessings when we just had something major happen, good or bad. I had neither of those things happen, I just woke up feeling so thankful. I couldn’t hold it in. Whatever happens today I will remember, I am thankful. I am thankful for you who is reading this. I am most thankful for all of us who are walking this walk together to Find The Good In Our Lives.

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

Don’t Wish It Away

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dancing in the rainGood Morning Sunshines! “The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn the past, worry about the future or to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” ~ Buddha

Have you ever found yourself wishing for the next thing? When I was a child, I couldn’t wait to be a teenager . When I was a teen, I couldn’t wait to be out of high school. When I was single, I couldn’t wait to be married. When I had one child, I couldn’t wait for more. When I had to get up in the middle of the night to feed them, I couldn’t wait for them to sleep through the night. Now that I can look back on it, I believe I couldn’t wait for them to get older too. My heart sinks at the thought of how much time I waisted on wishing for the next thing and not enjoying the now.

I look at my family as they are growing up and are married, one with a baby, and wish I had that time back to sit on the floor and play with them instead of wishing they were older and could help me clean. I think about my friends who I don’t get to spend time with because we all have our own lives and some of us don’t live close by. I remember my grandma telling me to enjoy the moment because they will go by so fast. It is now that I truly understand this.

What am I trying to say? I challenge you to stop wishing away the day but instead embrace it. Take every part of your day and remember you will not get this day back. Go outside today and feel the sunshine on your face. If it’s raining, go outside and dance in the rain. Don’t worry about tomorrow or even the next hour, just be in the moment. Today, sit a little longer with a friend, hold your baby while they nap, call someone you miss. For those of you who enjoy your work, (that’s awesome) remember that. When it’s getting you frustrated and you want to throw in the towel, remember why you started doing what you are doing. Remind yourself of your why! Tomorrow is a new day and you may fail today at these things and wish you could be doing something else, and that’s ok. Keep trying every day till you can Find The Good In Your Life and in every moment.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

Petrified In Fear

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hands-in-chainsGood Morning Sunshines! “Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real.” ~ Unknown

Have you ever been petrified in fear? Have you ever felt like it didn’t matter what you did it was going to be wrong, so you decided doing nothing would be better? Have you ever woken up and known that you were failing everyone around you by not doing what you were called to do, but it was easier to do the safe thing, because failing again was something you didn’t want to risk? Have you ever thought, “No one will notice if I give up?” Have you ever thought, “It’s just not worth it?” I have! It was literally so bad I did nothing. When I say I did nothing, I mean I did nothing. I laid in bed all day being the most unproductive self I could be. It got to the point that I couldn’t even look myself in the mirror and ask, “What are you doing?” because I didn’t want to face the truth. I wanted to give up because I was scared.

The second day of “feeling” this way I knew I had to do something because this was not me. I got up and showed up, but didn’t post. I knew I had to go through the motions even if I didn’t “feel” like it. I did this for 8 days. “What the heck Maria!?!? Seriously, this is your soap box. You are everyone’s cheerleader for their dreams, you speak life into them when they have doubt and fear, do it for yourself.”  I had always told people to be careful of your “feelings” because some days you will “feel” love and another dislike, just remember why you started. Have you ever found it easier to root for someone else than yourself? Ya, me too. I knew this is not where I wanted to stay. I had to find my way out of this “feeling”.  But how?

I had to remind myself of my why. I went back and reread my personal journals of why I must not quit. I listened to more podcasts than ever before. I read more than I ever have before. I talked to a friend I trusted who I knew would understand but push me forward. I started speaking life back into myself and writing my goals back down. Going through the process I knew worked for me and had gotten me to where I was. I became thankful for where I was, but knew that is not where I wanted to stay. It’s ok if you fail. It means you’re doing something. I have to remind myself its a stepping stone to where I am going. So once again, I got up, showed up, and reminded myself to go Find The Good In My Life.

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Are You The CEO Of Your Own Life?

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Good Morning Sunshines! “The pen that writes your life story must be held in your own hand.” ~ Irene C Kassorla

Are you the CEO of your own life? One of my favorite movies is The Holiday. In this movie one of the actresses is going through some things and someone asked her, “Why are you not being the leading lady in your own life?” This struck a chord with me. I was not the lead in my own life. I allowed everyone and everything else to take precedence over me. I knew something had to change. There were so many things I wanted to do for myself but I made everyone else the priority. I knew I had to find a way to change it.

Change, UGH! I swear it should be a four letter word. I wanted it, I needed it. I had to have it. How was I going to get it? Every morning I had to fight a war against myself to get up and show up. If I could do this for a job, why couldn’t I do it for me? Every day I fight against procrastination, laziness, fear, doubt, so I can become the person I want to be. I get up earlier so I can do the things I want for me, before I do for others. I needed to take control of my life and the only way I could was first thing in the morning before the rest of the world demanded from me. It’s ok if you’re working for someone else, the question is, did you do for you before you did for them?

Every night before I go to bed, I look in the mirror and ask myself, “Were you the CEO of your own life today?” Most days I say “Yes!” I am proud of who I am becoming because I chose to take control of my life. I decided that making healthy habits for myself and not allowing others to dictate my life and happiness made me a better person not just for me but for everyone I encountered. Today I want you to ask yourself, “Am I the CEO of my own life?” If the answer is no, let’s find a way to change it so you can get The Good In Your Life.

 

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Don’t Let Your Mind Whisper Fear Into Your Heart

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determination-to-succeed.jpgGood Morning Sunshines! “Stay focused, go after your dreams and keep moving toward your goals.” ~ LL Cool J

I can talk my self out of anything. I’ll put something in my cart but by the time I get to the checkout I have decided not to get it, even though my husband will tell me to buy it. I am the queen at rationalizing why I don’t need something. Have you ever been so excited about something you want to do, a new goal, but then you start to find ways why it won’t work instead of why it will work? In the past I have been so excited about a project that I’m about to take on and the next thing I know I’m no longer excited about it. I will tell myself, “I’m going to work out at least 3 to 5 times a week. Everyone knows you never miss a Monday. Well, actually, I can’t on Mondays because I’m so tired from Sunday, and I can’t go Tuesdays because I have an early meeting…” Next thing you know you’re paying for a gym membership you don’t actually use. My favorite thing I have talked myself out of in the past is eating healthy. “Well it’s the holidays, it’s this person’s birthday, got to eat cake. I don’t want to answer questions about why I decided to become a vegetarian so I’ll just eat meat to keep everyone off my back from telling me why it’s a bad idea, even though I feel it’s best for me.” I would talk myself out of things out of fear of failing.

I decided not to talk myself out of things anymore. How was  I going to do this, when I am the Queen of it? In the beginning, I found that if I wrote out a Pro and Con list, that helped. If I found someone to be accountable to, that helped me. Sometimes it also helped that other person because you don’t want to let them down. However, my friends knew I was a pushover when it came to working out so I had to pay a trainer. You don’t mess with my money, I’ll be there! But when it came to my writing or a new business opportunity, I found talking to that one person I knew who could help me remember even when I’m not “feeling it” was the best thing for me. I’m thankful that for me that’s my hubby. He helps me remember the excitement I had about something. However, the one thing that I found that works 100% of the time is this… just to do it. When it comes down to it, I am only responsible for myself, and if I want something bad enough, nothing and nobody can talk me out of it, including myself. I have to remind myself, “Don’t let your mind whisper fear into your heart.” When I want something bad enough, nothing will stop me. The next time you start to hear “you can’t do that” or “it’ll never work,” ask yourself, “Is that your heart or your mind?” Listen to your heart. Stop being rational about everything and get passionate about YOU! Let’s start having passion about our life. I promise this will help you to Find The Good In Your Life.

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Walking Past Abundance

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Good Morning Sunshines! “I have a lot to be thankful for. I am healthy, happy and I am loved.” ~Reba McEntire

Where are you looking? When things are not going the way you wish they were, are you focusing on the lack? I remember being a single mom, living in a one bedroom make-shift apartment with my kids. Our “sofa” was two twin mattresses stacked on top of each other that we would pull apart at night for them to sleep on in the living room floor. To the outside world this probably looked like lack. To us, this was true happiness. There was peace in the house. We would sit at the table and eat dinner together and laugh and not worry about things that had happened before.

When you focus on your lack, you have to walk past your abundance to get to your lack. When you keep focusing on what you don’t have you aren’t being grateful for what you do have. Don’t get me wrong, there were days in that little apartment when all I could do was pray that one day soon I would be able to afford a bigger place where my kids actually have their own rooms. However, I found that when I changed my mindset about where I was in life and was grateful for what I DID have, it made life a lot easier. There are things in my life I am still working toward every single day, but I do not let it steal my joy from today. I refuse to walk past my abundance to look for the lack. Can you share with me three things you are grateful for right now? I hope you can look at your abundant blessings in your life right now and Find The Good In Your Life .

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T.M.I. Friday – Just Be Here

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Good Morning Sunshines! “It is hard to love yourself if you never spend time with yourself. Alone time is necessary.” ~ Izey Victoria Odiase

My heart is so full with the love from the response I received for “No More Hurt”. The part that touched my heart the most was how I got to hear from all of you. I received so many comments and private messages. I loved talking with you. That is why I write and want to help people. It was an opportunity to hear about the things you are going through and what you would like me to talk about. I really would like this to be an open dialog. One of the things that a few people mentioned was they loved TMI Fridays because they felt like they got to know me a little bit more so here is todays TMI….

I told y’all that my hubby and I are on an East Coast tour. One of the things we are doing while we are away is going to a conference. Well, from all the traveling we have been doing I became so swollen. I retain water like a camel. So today I stayed at our Air BnB while he went to the confrence and took a water pill. This was amazing. It’s not my house so I didn’t have to clean. We did the laundry yesterday. So the only thing I could do was relax. I drank tea, I read, I listened to podcasts, I wrote and I watched 3 romantic comedies all while laying/sitting in bed. Seriously, awesome. I loved doing this so much but felt like I should be doing something else.

Seriously, why is it so hard to enjoy “Me Time”? These are all my favorite things to do (just missing working out and baths). I made myself be in the moment. Every time I would start to think about two weeks from now when I’m back home and what needs to be done, I would stop myself and say “Be here now.” Learning to be in the moment is still something I struggle with but I am learning. Yes, we need to plan for tomorrow, but not worry about it. I decided that I needed some more practice so I’m taking another “Me day”, this time I’ll hit the gym and get some one-on-one time with the sunshine. What is your favorite way to take a “Me Day”? Whatever it is, I hope it helps you Find The Good In Your Life.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

No More Hurt

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Good Morning Sunshines! Today’s blog was very hard for me to write. There is only a handful of people in my life who know the things I am about to share with you. It is taking a lot for me to open up and be this transparent with you because I hope this part of my story can help someone out there. Please remember the things that happened to you do not define who you are.

How do you talk about the darkest moments in your life? I really don’t know. I remember the first time I talked to anyone about what my life was like and they said “Wow! That sounds like a movie! It doesn’t seem real!” It was real, and I never felt like I could escape it, so I thought I had to find a way out, the only way I knew how, suicide.

My life at eleven and twelve was a total nightmare. My mom was a full-blown alcoholic and drug user. She was married to my step-dad and all they did was fight. Not his fault, it was my moms drinking and drugs. In the 70’s and early 80’s, I’m not sure we knew about drug addiction like we do now. The night things went from bad to nightmare was when my step-dad and step-brother were gone for the weekend and just my mom was home. She had gone to her local bar and brought someone home with her. I turned my music on because I could hear them in the living room. They were listening to music and drinking and Lord knows what else. The next thing I knew a man I never met was in my room. He got into my bed and started touching me. I started crying and yelling for my mom. He laughed and said she was knocked out and that she had said he could come into my room. The things that happened to me should never happen to any child. Unfortunately this was the first of many. I remember telling my mom the next day and being so mad at her. She told me that I needed to “grow up and keep my mouth shut.” Whenever she needed a fix and no one was home she would allow these people to come into my room. I remember the day I said no more. I sat in my bathroom up against the door. I saw the razor on the counter. It was a blade from a shaving razor. Back then you would have to open it up and put a new blade in to shave. Well, someone left it out and all I could do was think about not hurting anymore. If I die, she (my mom) would know just what she did to me. I wanted her to hurt as bad as I did. I just wanted to die. As I slit my wrist and started screaming my mom burst into the bathroom. She asked me what the hell I was doing. I yelled “I want to die!” She grabbed a pair of scissors and started to attack me. I raised my hands up to protect myself as she yelled “You want to die, here I’ll kill you!” The scissors puncturing my hands and arms over and over. Finally, something in her snapped and she realized what she was doing. She got up and ran out of the room. I remember hearing her vomiting as I sat in the bathroom with blood all over me. I had grabbed a towel and wrapped my wrist. I was so scared. I had no idea what would happen to me. She called a friend over to look at my hands. We didn’t talk for a few days and I missed school. My mom told me to call my dad and see if I could visit for the summer and that’s what I did. However, things were not sunshine and roses there.

My dad was a very stern man. I didn’t really know him… still don’t. What I knew was he was a Marine, police officer, correctional officer and does not handle weakness well. I had a friend’s brother commit suicide and asked him if I could go to the funeral and he told me only weak people kill themselves and I could not go. I could never tell my dad the nightmare I lived through because he would think I was weak and look down on me more than he already did. My heart was broken. Not feeling safe with either parent and not knowing who I could ever trust with this secret that kept me feeling dirty every day of my life.

I look at my hands and wrist now and can barely see the scars. I remember the day I told my youth pastors wife some of the things I had gone through, testing the waters to see if she was a safe adult. She was! She hugged me and said she was so sorry that I had to go through this. She found a counselor for me to talk to. She found a doctor who made sure I was physically ok. I wish this was all in a short amount of time, but it took me three years to tell anyone what happened. I was fifteen, living back with my mom and just worried that things might repeat them selves, so I needed to find a safe place. Things didn’t repeat, but repercussions effected everything else that happened (that’s for another day).

Where is the good in this story? I wish someone would have told me things will get better. I wish someone would have told me suicide is not the answer. I wish someone could have walked with me through that nightmare. I wish I would have spoken up when it all started. There are so many young people out there today who are dealing with nightmares of their own from bullies at school, or maybe even the ones at home. There are people in your life right now who think that suicide is the only answer. We need to make sure they know things will get better. It’s ok to feel like your whole life is falling apart and not know how to deal with it. BUT somehow we need to let people know we really are here for them and then be there for them. I’ve had this hopeless feeling several times, but I reminded myself how things did get better. I now look at the scars on my hands and wrists as a reminder that things will get better, just don’t stop fighting. I hope that you make yourself available to others so that they know you are a safe place. If right now you need someone to talk to, talk to me. I want you and everyone to once again Find The Good In Your Lives.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255
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Yoga Is Not Relaxing (but I enjoy it)

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Good Morning Sunshines! My hubby and I have been on a tour of the East Coast visiting friends and family. It snowed everywhere we went! Thankfully we are now in warm Florida for a week. While we have been traveling, I had my birthday, and got to celebrate our granddaughters first birthday. I am now 47, so I thought I would share 47 things that I have learned…

  1. It’s ok to put myself first
  2. Tomorrow isn’t promised
  3. Giving your time is the best gift you can give
  4. Real friends are few and far between
  5. Real love is amazing
  6. Marrying my best friend was the best thing I ever did
  7. Traveling with my hubby is a lot of fun
  8. Sitting outside in the sun energizes me
  9. I really like baseball. Love the Dodgers!!!
  10. Family time is my favorite
  11. I enjoy working out
  12. The hard times will get better
  13. Learning to love myself was harder than I thought it would be
  14. Learning to accept my flaws is still a struggle
  15. Even the people I love and look up to will let me down sometimes
  16. Having a mentor will stretch you
  17. Daily improvement makes me feel good about myself (reading, podcasts, conferences)
  18. Some people don’t want to change and I have to accept that
  19. Good music speaks to my soul like nothing else can
  20. I can choose to be happy even when things aren’t going right
  21. Yoga is not relaxing (but I enjoy it)
  22. Meditation is harder than I thought, but worth it
  23. A good bed is a must
  24. So is a good pillow
  25. I love just sitting around a fire pit with friends and family more than going out
  26. I am great at time management
  27. I am a great friend
  28. It’s ok to say “No” with no explanation
  29. I like sushi
  30. I can’t swim and not sure I’ll ever learn
  31. I can read people rather well and can spot a fake a mile away
  32. I don’t have to be friends with everyone
  33. Not everyone is going to like me
  34. I have a very creative mind and need to use it more
  35. I enjoy reading (I read the first chapter and last chapter first)
  36. Baths are my favorite way to end a day
  37. Use moisturizer daily
  38. Enjoy what you do or stop doing it
  39. Tell those you love that you love them as often as can
  40. Travel as much as you can
  41. I enjoy being around people, but recharge by having quiet time
  42. I love going above and beyond for those I love
  43. Missing my grandma doesn’t get easier
  44. Being a grandparent is wonderful
  45. Riding with the top off my jeep and music blaring makes me happy
  46. I don’t enjoy cooking
  47. Having adult kids is the best because you have new best friends you have so many amazing memories with

I hope you are having a great week. I will be back to my normal writing soon. I have a few things I have written but they are kind of heavy and wasn’t sure when I would be ready to open up like that. I truly enjoy sharing my life with you and helping others Find The Good In Theirs.

 

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

TMI Friday – Grandma – International Women’s Day

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Good Morning Sunshines! “She made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible. She walked with the Universe on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of wings.”  ―Ariana Dancu

It’s TMI Friday! Yesterday was International Women’s Day so I wanted to talk about the most amazing woman I’ve ever known, my grandma. My grandma was/is my hero. She taught me so much. Grandma was a godly woman who always made time for the word. She started and ended each day in prayer. She never raised her voice. If she got mad she would start talking really low so you had to concentrate on what she was saying. It was worse than someone yelling.  I could never get anything past her. If I called “just to say hi”, she always knew exactly what was going on before I even told her. My grandma was a farmer’s wife, she had six kids, and many grandkids. Grandma never had favorites. I would joke and tell her “it’s ok to say I’m your favorite.” She would let me know her favorite was whoever needed her most at that time. She always made you feel like you were the most important person when she talked to you. She really listened.

My grandma had gotten a job out of the house for a few years and worked in an arcade. Yes, a video game arcade! If you would have met her at first you would have thought this was strange. However, after 5 minutes of watching her around all the young people who came through you would know she was right where she was supposed to be. They loved her! Grandma would call kids out on their baggy pants, wild looks, bad attitudes, and always get to the root of the issues. I remember one day going to work with her and a group of kids came in being loud and disrespectful. Grandma walked up to them and told them to watch their language, and pull up their pants because she had no desire to see their behinds. One of the kids got mouthy and grandma started talking real low. I’m not sure what she said, but the next thing I know, their pants are pulled up and they are saying “Yes Mama.” She walked back up to her seat, grabbed some quarters, gave them each a few, and went and played Lady Bug, her favorite game. Everyone loved Grandma.

Grandma passed away a few years ago on, February 14, 2011. This seemed so fitting for her. I was so sad and just wanted to lay in bed all day and cry. However, I could hear my grandma saying “How long are you going to cry?’ (Read my post,  Finding the Good, to understand that a little better) I cried for a while and then knew it was going to be ok. For me, knowing she was spending Valentines with her first love was so fitting. I miss her every day. When my time comes I hope I am half as loved and respected as she was. Grandma was such an amazing example of love, never judging. She met you where you were at. I am so thankful for her and the amazing woman she was. I hope you have an amazing woman in your life who can help you Find The Good.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

I Choose Today

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person-598191_960_720Good Morning Sunshines! “Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.” ~ Author Unknown

The choices you make today will determine where you are tomorrow. I can not stress enough how today needs to be the day you make those changes. Think about the day you first thought about making a change. Where would you be now if you would have followed through?

Today is the day! Today is the day you take charge of your own life. Today is the day you stop believing the lies that were spoken over you. Today is the day you say no more! Today is the day you stop being a victim and start becoming victorious. Today is the day you choose happiness and joy. Today is the day you start believing in your self. Today is the day you start appreciating every day as a gift and stop taking life for granted. Today is the day you start working toward your goals and dreams.

Today I am making some changes that I wish I would have made a few years ago. For me, I have taken my health for granted and I can’t do it anymore. What is it that you need to take hold of today and say, “No More!”. I challenge you today to look at your life and say, “I’m ready to make a change and I will Find The Good In My Choices!”

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Put it down!

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Group of friends at a restaurant with all people on the table ocGood Morning Sunshines! “So that’s the telephone? They ring, and you run.” ~Edgar Degas

Microwave Society ~The mindset of wanting (and nearly getting) everything “RIGHT NOW”. Technology has made gathering or sending information extremely fast and we’ve begun to think that everything in life should be available on demand.

One night my hubby and I were out to dinner and at the table across the way we saw a couple sitting together. He was reading a paper, she was sitting waiting for conversation. I told Matt, “I never want to be like that.” Let’s fast forward 12 years…. I’m sitting at table with a friend yesterday and as we are talking they get a text. I am literally in the middle of game planning with them about something we are working on and they pick up their phone and start to read their text. A few things hit me in my gut at this time….

  1. Am I not worthy of your time?
  2. Is there something else you’d rather be doing?
  3. You are so rude because it was a group text, I got it too but didn’t stop to read it!
  4. Maybe we should talk business at another time when you can focus on our conversation.
  5. Would you do this if you were talking to someone else?

I know I have been guilty of this myself from time to time when sitting with a friend, but I vowed right then to never do that again. I never carry a purse so the phone does end up on the table and I do let people know if I am expecting an important call or something that is time sensitive that I will need to address as soon as it comes in. However, I have never in the middle of a meeting picked up my phone. I say all that to say, where did our manners go? Giving someone our full attention should not be that hard. I feel that we have gotten so comfortable with being a microwave society that we don’t even realize how rude we have become. I am going to make it a point to not do this anymore. We went years without cell phones and the world did not fall apart because we didn’t answer a phone call, text, email, right away. I think we would be less stressed out if we start setting boundaries to our phones/life. We need to put more focus on human interaction and less into technology, at least when we are sitting with people. I know I want to make that person who is speaking to me feel like they are important and I value their time. I challenge you to put down the phone, talk to someone and Find The Good In Genuine Interaction.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Boss vs Leader

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Good Morning Sunshines! “People ask the difference between a leader and a boss. The leader leads, and the boss drives.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt

I was at a local coffee shop the other day and was listening to the conversation at the next table as they complained about their new boss. One of the girls was a manager at the company and the other was being trained for another store. However, the training wasn’t going well because “the boss” didn’t know how to train/teach, she was a micromanager. Instead of equipping these young ladies with the skills they needed to learn in order to lead, she preferred to give them tasks that she needed to make sure were being completed. This made me cringe. I know people like this. At one point I may have even been that boss. It usually comes from a place of not wanting others to succeed, or worried they will take your place, when actually what will happen is people will see your ability to have people follow you and learn from you and you will be given praise for that.

Through the years I have learned that teaching someone to take your job opens you up for promotion. Let’s break it down even more simply, we teach our kids how to do laundry, do dishes, vacuum the house, etc. Yes, we will continue to make sure for some time they are doing these properly, but one day you no longer have to micromanage them. They have learned this skill and one day will be able to pass the knowledge on. As a boss/leader it is the same thing. Once you can let go and allow others to take ownership of their job/responsibilities, it then opens you up to do other things. If you are in any type of leadership role, I challenge you to teach people instead of just being a micromanager. Allow for mistakes and use those as teachable moments. I know the people you work with will then Find The Good In You.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

TMI Friday-Birthday

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IMG_0480Good Morning Sunshines! While I was on my hiatus of writing and planning my daughter’s wedding, I received a few DM’s (direct messages) from random people letting me know they missed me writing and really liked my TMI Fridays. Thank you to those who reached out to check on me and letting me know you enjoy my almost daily post.

Happy TMI Friday! Today’s post is all about why I love my birthday. March 18 is my birthday and this year I will be 47. I am very ok with my age and love to celebrate. Think about it, what is the alternative? If you don’t have a birthday you are no longer here.  I have always loved my birthday and other people’s birthdays. I love to celebrate people. For me, birthdays mean breakfast in bed, gifts, and being loved on by your friends and family. That happens for anyone in my family and close friends, not just me. My hubby knows I love my birthday and has let me turn it into a birthday month. However, I have tried to do something different this year and that’s celebrate every day.

I really want to celebrate life and not take advantage of it. Every day so far this year I have done something small just to celebrate me/life. I found that the days were running together, then the weeks, months, and even years. I needed to slow things down. A lot of the times my moment of just me is sitting outside with the dogs, feeling the sun and listening to music that makes me feel happy to be alive. The other day I listened to a whole album. I have no idea the last time I did that. For me, celebrating me/life isn’t about a party, it’s about being thankful that I am still here and enjoying every moment of it. Feeling the aches and pains of my muscles from my workout makes me happy. Things that use to bother me, now make me happy. Getting a phone call from a family member or friend makes me smile. I used to wish people would just text, but slowing down to talk to someone is so much better. One day we wont be able to talk anymore and I never want to miss that chance. Starting today, I hope you can start celebrating you/life daily and Find The Good In It.

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Mask

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IMG_0464Good Morning Sunshines! “How long will it take before people stop being polite and start getting real?” – Real World

What kind of mask do you wear? We all have them; sometimes we have several, depending on who we are with. For years I wore a mask of a happy marriage. We would fight, a lot of the time it was physical. So, when I told people I was getting a divorce, no one understood. I was lying to people for years to protect myself and him. I wore a mask as a teen to hide myself from almost everyone. My mom had walked out on me when I was 15 because she needed to get help for her drug addiction, leaving me to live on my own. The only person who knew was my boyfriend and eventually his mom. It wasn’t till I was 17, almost 18, that the state found out and sent me to go live with my dad. It’s crazy the life we can live behind these masks.

As I was talking to a group of people the other day about the masks we wear, someone said something that struck a nerve with me. “What am I doing that people aren’t comfortable enough to take down their mask?” I really try not to wear a mask anymore and be transparent with people. I want people to know who I am. I also want to be able to pour into people and love on them so they feel comfortable taking down their mask. I challenge you to look at your mask and the people you surround yourself with and see who and where you can take down your mask around. Find people who will except you and help you Find The Good In Your Life.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Who Are You?

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986471BF-BB1D-430F-BAA3-B1F96073FA84Good Morning Sunshines! I’m back! My daughter is married! The wedding was amazing and I have recovered. I’m looking forward to talking with all of you again.

We are all created to be individuals. So why do we compare ourselves to others? How boring would the world be if we all looked and acted the same? In my 20’s and early 30’s I really did compare myself a lot to my friends, the women I’d pass on the street, and even people I saw in the movies. I was never satisfied with my clothing size, the “things” I could do (because I wanted to be gifted or talented like others) even my personality. I wished I was different. I have a loud laugh and I’m very animated. I tried not to overdo it around most people, worried they won’t accept me for who I really am.

I’m not sure when the mindset change was, but I do remember reading…..

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” ~ Dr. Seuss

Such wise words! I was about 35 when I decided I would live my life out loud. I have a lot to say. I really have gone through a lot and I believe our tests are our testimonies, so I decided I would start liking those things I wanted to change. I started caring less and less about other people’s opinion about what I was doing in my life. I remember the first time I put down a book I had started reading and said to my self, “I am not enjoying this, I’m not going to read it.” That was huge for me. I have walked out of movies, left restaurants and even stopped hanging around people who were no longer bringing happiness to my life. I no longer had the need for everyone’s approval because I now had my own. I know for some this can be hard in a world of “likes” and “friends”. My hope for you today is that you will, Find The Good In You.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Rare and Beautiful Treasures

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Books-You-Can-Read-in-an-AfternoonGood Morning Sunshine! “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” ~Mignon McLaughlin

Yesterday was my husband and my half-year anniversary. Everyday it amazes me how much more I really do love him. Yesterday was a busy day. He worked all day, I did wedding stuff for my daughter, and then we had an appointment. We came home ate and just sat around the table talking. When the kids got home they joined us. We sat around the table just talking and laughing and it truly filled my heart with so much joy. It reminded me of something I had read earlier. I had journaled something after reading my devotional and this is what it said…..

This morning in my devotional I was reading something I’ve read so many times before but until today I never realized how it applies to me and my marriage. I always wonder if others laugh like our family does? Are they as excited as we are to see each other? Do they sit and talk just to know and understand what is happening in their lives and how they feel? I read…

Proverbs 24:3-4; By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.

Our treasures are those moments of laughter and tears as we sit and talk and understand each other. Communication. It’s so important in all relationships. Today, I’d like to challenge you to Find The Good In Your Home.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

T.M.I.Friday

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diary-968603_960_720Good Morning Sunshines! “When you start to do the things that you truly love, it wouldn’t matter whether it is Monday or Friday; you would be so excited to wake up each morning to work on your passions.” ― Edmond Mbiaka

It’s Friday!!! The day where I just let you into too much information about my life. This will probably read more like a diary entry than my normal positive blogs, but here you go….

We have made it through another week and through a month of 2018. January is gone and February is here. Our daughter’s wedding is in 15 days. I haven’t been posting every day because the wedding has taken over. Not in a bad way, but it has defiantly helped me step up my gym time. I also bought a dress that was a half size too small because the size up was too big.

So, let me tell you about this week. We have finalized so much stuff this week for the wedding, we started two Bible studies at our home, been trying to help my mom with stuff in Puerto Rico, trying to finish writing my book, starting a new website, on top of trying to do our “normal” everyday things. I never feel like I really do a lot till I speak to other people. It’s then that people will say, “Wow, you are busy.” To me that’s normal. Today I am getting my hair cut and colored. If you know me I like “fun” colors. With my daughter’s wedding coming up I went “normal” but she has decided she wanted a fun color because it’s more me. I’m excited to have “me hair” for the wedding too. Speaking of the wedding, our son and daughter-in-law will be here in 13 days. That means our amazing granddaughter will be here. My hubby and I are so excited to have her here and love on her.

Well, it’s time to get up and get this day started. Sorry it’s not my normal get up and slay today post but I hope whatever you do today, you will Find The Good In Your Life.

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Mondays!

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Good Morning Sunshines! “Mondays are tough for those people who don’t know how to spend them cheerfully. Get up and have fun today!” ~ unanimous

Have you ever woken up grumpy and not known why and said, “No one better mess with me today.”? I think we have all had those days. I know Mondays were the worst days for my employees. I’ve had a case of the Mondays before myself. It would usually start on Sunday night. I would start thinking about the week ahead and everything I needed to get done. It was only 3 pm on Sunday but I was already in the next week and no longer enjoying my weekend, my family time. Then come Monday I was moody and did not want to be there. UGH!!! Something needed to change.

I had read a  book where the person said to challenge yourself to not have a bad day. Keep telling yourself it’s not a bad day, and to be positive. This took some training but I really did learn how to do this. I would start to get in a “Monday Funk” and I would have to stop myself and think of positive things. I would literally make myself say three positive things right there and then. When you are thinking of the blessings in your life it’s hard to think about the negative.

These days, Mondays are my favorite day of the week. I try to have it as a day I look forward to by meeting a girlfriend for coffee, going to the gym, and prepping for the rest of the week. I very rarely have bad days anymore. I will stop and realize I am not having a bad day, I am having a bad moment. That moment in my day will not be my full day, it is just something that’s happening right now that I will need to move past. Don’t let the bad moments dictate your day. Find The Good In Your Day.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

Banner Blindness

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IMG_0241Hello Sunshines! “It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” ~Henry David Thoreau

How many of us ignore the ads that are on our social media these days? Crazy how we talk about something or look up something, but then we quickly start to ignore them again. This is banner blindness. But what about in our everyday life? Do we start to go blind too? Maybe not blind, but just don’t notice the change that’s happening. A friend gets a haircut, you don’t notice. The gas station you always go to changes names but you don’t notice. We get so caught up in our everyday life that we don’t stop and look around us and notice the changes that are happening in the world around us.

I have rose bushes outside my front door. Every day when I leave the house I will literally stop and smell the roses. I do that because when I was working 12 hour plus days I got so caught up in my work I forgot there was a world going on outside. One day I was going into work late, when I walked outside and noticed these beautiful roses. These rose bushes had been there as long as we had lived in the house, but I didn’t notice them because I would leave so early and come home late, my sights focused on my next task. But now when I leave my house and smell these roses, it reminds me to stop and notice the world around me. I don’t want to be blind to the world around me anymore. I want to notice not just the simple beautiful roses, but the people in need on the corner. I want to help others Find The Good In Their Life.

family · Inspirational · Uncategorized

It’s Not In The Budget

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372D684A-5852-460C-B974-815D7AD432DB-40788-00000A7ED3A9B2F0Good Afternoon Sunshines! “The budget is not just a collection of numbers, but an expression of our values and aspirations.” ~ Jacob Lew

Have you ever said “It’s not in my budget,” or “I don’t have time for that?” I found out it’s never in my budget or I don’t have time for it if it’s not a priority to me. Our daughter’s wedding is coming up and the money we could have used a million other ways is being used to pay for a wedding because it is what is important to us. I pay for a gym membership because my health is important to me. I spend time reading books and listening to podcasts every day because growing and learning is important to me. However, I have had people tell me, “You should really watch this new show. It’s amazing!” The next time I see them they would ask, “What did you think?” To be honest, I haven’t had the time to watch it. Why didn’t I have I have the time? It’s because it wasn’t important to me. Not that my friend wasn’t important, it was that my time was important and I didn’t want to spend it on something that I was not sure I would enjoy.

Our time and resource are precious, and we need to be careful how we spend them. You will very rarely ever catch me doing something I really just don’t want to do; and if I am, it’s because the person I am with means more to me than that thing I am doing. When my kids were teenagers I stopped saying “It’s not in our budget,” and started telling them the truth, “That is not a priority.” As as example, they asked “Why don’t we have a tv and cable like my friends?” This truly was not, and still is not, a priority for us. Explaining to a teenager (and some adults) why we don’t have these things may be annoying, but I believe in being transparent about my life, so we would explain, “We don’t have time to sit in front of the tv, so why would we spend money on something we don’t use?” When I have asked my boss for a raise for an employee and he would say, “It’s not in the budget”, what I really wish he would have said was, “It’s not a priority,” because I would see money being spent in other places that to me was not a priority. I say ALL that to say this…. before you say it’s not in the budget or you don’t have time, be honest with yourself and others. Is this just not a priority? When you’re making the decision to spend your time or resources on something, make sure you ask yourself is it’s helping you Find The Good In Your Life.

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Making Memories

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IMG_0080Good Morning Sunshines! “Children have neither past nor future; they enjoy the present, which very few of us do.” ~ Jean de la Bruyere

This year for Christmas my daughter decided to turn my family movies into DVD from VHS (best gift this year). We were watching a home movie of when they were little and we were visiting my mom and family in Puerto Rico. As I was watching this video, besides thinking my kids were the cutest, I couldn’t stop thinking I was a jerk. My son kept asking if he could look through the video camera and I kept telling him no because I didn’t want it to break. It really wouldn’t have hurt anything if I allowed him to look through it, but I didn’t want to risk it. Then I started thinking about how, as my kids were growing up, I was always worried about keeping a clean house and being worried about what others would say if they stopped by. I remember my kids asking me to play with them but I didn’t have the time because I always had something to do. If you’re a parent you can probably look back and remember these moments as well. I know I will never get those moments back, but I can learn from them.

Thankfully I am a grandparent now, also a godmother, and aunt. I almost get a do-over because I realized the blessing is in the journey. Being worried about a clean house and other people’s opinions aren’t what matter, but rather making memories. When a friend calls I answer because, most likely, I’m going to laugh with that person on the other end. I’m no longer worried about what others will say if they come over and see the lived-in house I have, but more worried about the memories I will make with people and Finding The Good In Life.

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Me, Myself and I

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Good Morning Sunshines! “Music was my refuge. I would crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.” ~ Maya Angelou

Have you ever played a song on repeat because it was speaking to you like nothing and nobody could. I have had a few moments like that, but the one I remember most that changed me was Friday night at home by myself while going through a divorce. My kids were with their dad that weekend. I had some co-workers who throughout the year would challenge me to go out to lunch or dinner by myself, go shopping by myself, and I had accomplished these things. But this Friday night I was having a “get real” with myself moment, letting go of some hurt. The radio was on and a song came on that made me stop and just listen, “Private Party” by India Arie. After the song went off I YouTubed it and played it over and over. I was learning how to love me. I danced around the house listening to this song. I really looked in the mirror and saw me again. I had lost me. I became who everyone else wanted me to be. Yes, I was a positive person, but I didn’t know who else I was. If you have ever seen Runaway Bride you’ll understand this next question I asked myself, “How do you like your eggs? Over medium.” I started asking myself questions I would ask someone while trying to get to know them. I needed to get to know me again. While listening to this song on repeat, dancing around the house, laughing, crying, I realized I am going to be ok. I had just gone through one of the hardest years of my life but everything was working out. I realized I loved me, and more importantly I liked me.

There are days I will play that song and just look in the mirror at all of me and do a check in. We will call our moms, grandparents, kids and friends to check on them, but when is the last time you checked in on you? Seriously, look at yourself and remind yourself who you are. This isn’t just for women, but men too. We get so lost in the everyday and thinking about everything we have to do for everyone else that we forget to stop and remember me, myself and I and Find The Good In Our Life.

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Finding Balance

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Good Morning Sunshines! “Never get so busy making a living, that you forget to make a life.” ~ Dolly Parton

A few years ago I had two strokes due to stress. I was so focused on my job and didn’t understand balance that I worked myself almost to death. I had a co-worker who, when she would travel to different offices, she would enjoy it by going out and having dinner, met the people in the area, made friends and still got her work done. On the other hand, I would be in the office for 12 hours a day, eat at my desk, and then go back to the hotel and work some more. I felt guilty if I enjoyed myself too much when traveling for work. I was there to work. This was my chance to get ahead and get extra done without being interrupted. I wished I could be like my co-worker, but I had a job to do and wasn’t there for fun.

This was not healthy. I burnt myself out. I took a break from work for a while and came back ready to have balance. I would fly out on Monday, back on Friday, making myself go out to eat at least once while I was traveling. Still not able to find the balance I needed because I wasn’t putting my health first and at least working out in the morning, I gained 20 pounds. My only exercise was walking through the airport. Even with me trying to find the balance by going out to eat once became a task and not something I was enjoying. I loved my job and traveling was fun. I enjoyed the people I worked with. Even on the weeks I wasn’t traveling I was still in the office for 12 hours and working when I got home. I had another health scare in March when I had my yearly. We thought the breast cancer was back. Nothing like a health scare to make you reevaluate what is most important to you.

As much as I loved my job, I love my family more, and I knew something had to change. I gave my notice to my job and decided it was time to find balance. As I was searching for balance I had to decide what was most important. For me it was my health, my family, my church, the community, and helping others. I started working out almost every day and my hubby tries to go with me when he can. We will sit and eat breakfast together and talk in the morning. I volunteer full-time at my church, and I get to spend time with people by going to lunch and being there for people who need me or just need someone.  I lead a bible study and we go into the community and give back, feeding the homeless or thanking the firefighters by bringing them goodies. I decided that writing was one way (there are other ways too) I would help others and hope they would learn from my past challenges and be able to Find The Good In Their Life.

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Happy Birthday!

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IMG_0047Good Morning Sunshines! A daughter is just a little girl who grows up to be your best friend.

Today is my daughter’s birthday! (I told her I would write about her today) I call her “My Pretty”. She is truly a blessing in my life. I think about the day she was born and remember how she looked like a little doll. She was so perfect. I would dress her up in little pink dresses. She would love when I would sing to her, “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey. You’ll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.” As she grew up she realized I really couldn’t sing. The teenage years weren’t too bad except for age 14, when I loved her but didn’t like her (I’ll tell y’all about that another day). She tested me in so many different ways. Looking back and hearing other people’s stories, she wasn’t really that bad. Both of my children told me everything… sometimes too much. However, I always knew where they were. The lines of communication have always been open and they were always allowed to express their feelings. Ciara got married in August to a nice young man, Deon. It was a very small wedding. Just us, his parents and our pastors. We are having a big ceremony in February because I told her she might regret not having the big wedding if she didn’t. Planning has been a lot of work, but she is worth it. We had her bridal shower this past weekend and then she went with friends to Vegas to the bachelorette party. I love hearing the stories of her and her friends. Oh, to be that young again.  There are days I get sad because both of my kids are married and I feel like they don’t need me any more. But there is nothing like your daughter asking you, “Can we go get lunch and go shopping?” I love the relationship we have now. I don’t have to fuss at her any more. She has become my friend. We sit and talk about so many things. It’s hard to believe that little angel I held in my arms grew up to be my best friend. She truly is A Good In My Life.

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The Blessing Is In The Journey

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Good Morning Sunshines! “Dance. Smile. Giggle. Marvel. TRUST. HOPE. LOVE. WISH. BELIEVE. Most of all, enjoy every moment of the journey, and appreciate where you are at this moment instead of always focusing on how far you have to go.” ~ Mandy Hale

Do you remember your wedding day? Matt and I were standing at the unity candle and our pastor was singing a song and I said to Matt, “We should stop and really remember this moment because it’s all going so fast.” There were few other times that day that we took each others hands and said let’s stop and remember. I was told that your wedding day will be such a blur you won’t remember anything. I didn’t want that to happen. We have now been married for 11 1/2 years and can still remember those moments. There are days we will stop and just sit with each other and talk about where we are and what is going on. Our marriage is a journey we are on together, but the blessings are in the everyday life we are making together. I love when I’m cooking or doing something in the kitchen and Matt will come in and grab me and start dancing with me, even when I have my big yellow rubber gloves on from washing dishes. I love being in his arms and enjoying that memory we are making. We don’t do a lot of family dinners anymore because the kids are grown, but when we do get a moment to sit around the table together we are always laughing. I love that we can just sit and enjoy each other knowing that we may not do this for a few more weeks or months, but we know that this moment is a blessing.

 

I wasn’t always like this. I was once very task driven, and I will talk about that another day. But right now, today, I want you to stop and think about the blessings you have in your life. You may not enjoy your job, but if you lost your job and couldn’t get work for 6 months to a year and got the same job back, you’d probably feel very thankful for it. We have the tools to make every day a blessing, and if we just stop long enough to think about it, you can Find The Good In Your Life.

 

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Friday Fun Day

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Good Morning Sunshines! Fairytailes can come true. They can happen to you…..

I was asked by a few readers to share a little bit more about me, so I thought that Fridays would be that day that I share a fun, personal story about me or my family.

I wanted to tell you one of my favorite stories. My son and his wife just celebrated their 3rd wedding anniversary. I want to share how they met. On the first day of kindergarten my son, who was 5 years old at the time, walked into his classroom and went to his cubby to put away his things when the little girl next to him said, “Hi, my name is Gabrielle, but you can call me Gabby.” He said, “My name is Caleb. Call me Caleb.” She asked him to be friends and they walked away together. I was in awe and said, “That was my son.” The lady next to me said, “That was my daughter.” That lady and I became friends, and we would do everything together with our kids. School had started in August and in October Caleb and I went on a mommy and son date. We were at dinner and he asked me, “How do you know when you found your rib?” I was a little confused, but he explained, “Like Adam and Eve, she was his rib.” I let him know he would date lots of people and one day he would find her when he was all grown up. He said, “No, I think I already found her. It’s Gabby, and I want to take her on a date.” I spoke to her parents and they agreed we could take them “on a date.” We went to the Rugrats movie. Caleb and Gabby were inseparable until her parents became traveling missionaries. Gabby’s mom and I stayed in touch and always tried to be there for each other’s families when there were big events, anniversaries, birthdays, graduations, and weddings. Gabby’s sister was getting married and we all couldn’t go because we had just moved across the country, so we asked Caleb to go. Caleb and Gabby started talking and realized that they were both looking for the same things in life. They had graduated from high school and gone to college and trying to find their way in life. They decided to start dating in September. A few months later they had gone to a friend’s wedding, and when he returned home he let us know he was going to ask Gabby to marry him when she came out for Christmas. On Christmas morning we got to witness these two, who knew at 5 years old they would grow up and get married, get engaged. A few days later when we took Gabby to the airport she just couldn’t leave. She said something at that moment that I have always loved. She said, “I have loved him my whole life, and when you know what you have wanted your whole life is about to come true, you want it to start right away.”

Caleb and Gabby have been married for three years and blessed us with a granddaughter this year. I know this will be very few people’s stories in life, and most people will look for that person for a long time. However, no matter if it’s a person or a dream you’ve been waiting for, it’s time for it to start. We had planned the wedding for 6 months out, but Gabby wanted her dream to start now, so in five days we planned a wedding and they started their lives together. Today is that day that you say, “I am done waiting. It’s time for my dream to start right now!” Start your dream. Find The Good In Your Life.

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Letting Go

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BC12CF28-D50A-4B10-B257-CCC41B166BDD-8482-0000022D0640346EI had a little challenge getting the post out this morning due to a sinus issue and a Benadryl…..But, it’s never too late to have a good day.

Good Morning Sunshines! “Why should you live in the past when the present already has everything that you need to start a new beginning?” ~ Edmond Mbiaka

Growing up in the 70’s and 80’s is much different than it is now. I remember the night a door-to-door salesman knocked on our door and told us about cassette tapes. He came in and my mom made coffee and got out a snack and we all sat in the living room playing with this new thing. He showed us how we could record and play it back. We talked into it and played it back. Hearing our own voices being played back was very strange. We bought a tape player and a six-pack of cassette tapes. I remember my step-brothers playing tricks on each other with it, whispering things into the recorder and hiding it under beds or in closets. In the 80’s my friends and I would sit and wait for that new song to come out so we could record it and make the perfect mixed tape. Who didn’t love getting a mixed tape? These days my kids make playlists and don’t have to hope the DJ doesn’t talk through the first part of the song.

There are so many memories that shape us into who we are today, good or bad. Sometimes we hold onto these things so much it will paralyze us in our present. It won’t allow us to move forward into what we are meant to be doing. I know it can be hard to let go of the past. Whether it’s living in the “glory days” of our youth or the pain that haunts our dreams/nightmares. There are days where I have to remind myself that I am not that little girl who was abandoned and not everyone will leave me. That I am loved. Yes, even I have insecurities, but I look at them differently now. I was once told, “You can never have a better past, but you can make a better future.” That is what I did with all the pain and hurt of the past. I decided to Find The Good In My Life. What do you need to let go of so you can have the future you deserve?

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Where Did The Time Go

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Good Morning Sunshines! “Know the true value of time; snatch, seize and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination: never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.” ~ Philip Stanhope 4th Earl of Chesterfield

We all get the same amount of time each day, how we spend it is different. There are 24 hours in a day, 1,440 minutes in a day, and 86,400 seconds in that day. I have waisted a lot of these seconds, minutes, and hours not doing things I said I would. I have not gone and visited loved ones and/or called thinking I would still have tomorrow. But tomorrow didn’t come. I didn’t work out because I thought tomorrow will be a better day, but tomorrow was busier than the day before. Somehow, slowly, day after day turned into a week, month and then years. Sometimes I look in the mirror and see where time has gone. My hair is greying, and I have little lines around my eyes. But I never really notice it till I see my mom. She lives in Puerto Rico and it’s been 2 years since I last saw her. Yesterday she was finally able to send me a picture and I noticed how much older she looked from the last time I saw her. She’s been through a lot in her life, but the last few months after hurricane Maria has really put a lot on her. I cried seeing her. She is 4 feet 8 inches and 90 pounds. She looks tiny and frail, but she is a tough cookie. But as I looked at the picture I thought about how over the last several months, as Puerto Rico has been going through the aftermath of Hurricane Maria, our lives kept going.

I love quality time with my family and friends. I love just sitting and talking, not looking at our phones, but rather engaging in conversation. I have a friend I meet with on Mondays for a few hours and time always seems to go so fast. There never seems to be enough when we want it most, but seems to go slow when we are waiting for something to happen. I look at time a little differently these days. I am semi-retired and I get to do most things on my time. But I found that I don’t spend it in front of the tv anymore like I used to when I got off work. (Also it broke and we never got a new one.) I spend it doing the things I wish I could have before. I also realized I could have done those things before, but I just didn’t make them a priority. I am making my life and my time a priority now because I know I can never get it back. I don’t want you to look back like I did and wonder where the time has gone. Make those calls to your bestie, go visit grandma, date your significant other and Find The Good in every second of every day.

 

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No Rainbows Without Rain

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IMG_4095Good Morning Sunshines! “Everybody wants happiness. Nobody wants pain. But you can’t have a rainbow without the rain.” I read this once and remember it every now and again when it’s raining, like today. I think back on my life and some of the most painful things I ever went through and how, afterward, I was able to appreciate life just a little more. We rarely ever think about what positive will come from an event when we are going through something like a cancer or the loss of a loved one.

I am a breast cancer survivor and so thankful every day. I wasn’t always like that. I remember the day my thinking shifted. I was 29 about to turn 30 in a few days when I was told that I would have surgery a few weeks later. I called my best friends and they came and rallied around me. Saying all the things they are supposed to say, “You’ll be ok”, “We are here for you”, “We are praying for you”, “We love you.” I was so glad they were there. For my 30th birthday we got a hotel room at the beach (my happy place) and spent the weekend together talking about all the shenanigans we got into as teenagers and looking at old pictures and reading some of the notes we had that we passed to each other in the hall ways. The morning of my 30th I woke up early and one of my besties and I slipped out of the room to go watch the sun rise. We sat on the bench holding hands not saying a word. I remember praying and just wanting everything to be ok, when I felt a peace come over me that I will never be able to explain. It was at that moment I knew I must speak life into myself. No more negative “What If” stuff but “I will be ok”. I remembered looking at my friend and telling her, “Everything really will be ok.” She agreed with me but I don’t know that she fully understood what I meant at that moment. As the months followed, if anyone would say anything negative around me, I would shut them down, and that’s when she found out exactly what I meant. I am about to go on 16 years cancer free in a few months and that moment of rain changed my life. I still had bad moments, but how I chose to handle them were all different from the past. Even the darkest day I would try my best to find good. I want to ask you, if you are going through some rain right now, try and Find The Good In Your Life.

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It’s Ok To Fail

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29D5AE28-5086-4D2B-B3D9-9BFE2B908452-19288-000004F87E8EAFFDGood Morning Sunshines! “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”~ Henry Ford. “You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your time, or any of your space.” ~ Johnny Cash. “I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.” ~ Michael Jordan. “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” ~ Thomas Edison. These are some of my favorite quotes about failing.

We all fail at something in life. For some, like me, it’s been more than a few. As my granddaughter was learning to walk, we were all cheering her on as she learned to stand, then take the first step, then another and another till she was cruising around the room. But what if she decided it was too hard and when she fell she didn’t get back up to try again? What if we did that? Their would be grown folk crawling around the world instead of walking because we gave up. How many things in life are you still crawling around because you are afraid to try walking again? That dream you put down because it seemed too big. The goals you set in 2017 that didn’t happen but you know are still calling your name. For my granddaughter she had people cheering her on, even when she fell down. Do you have people ready to cheer you on even when you fall? In 2018, find the people who are going to cheer you on and help you Find The Good In Your Life.

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The Hard Sell

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IMG_4069Good Morning Sunshines! A positive mind finds opportunity in everything, while a negative mind finds fault in everything. Do you have those people in your life who like to poke holes in your excitement? They find fault and tell you why something won’t work when you are really excited about something? These people, the “Dream Stealers”, make me sad. Mostly because they once had a dream and they allowed someone to steal their dream. Most of the time I stay away from these people. However, when I need them most in my life is when I need to sell something. What do I mean by that? If I have a new business idea or just a pitch I need to make and I need to make sure I can sell this idea to the bank, a corporation, or just pitching a new idea to my hubby, I call on these people. I have my whole idea laid out including the comebacks I think they may come with. I am ready for them to find fault so that I can make my pitch to people who will hopefully be excited about my next idea. Sometimes we need the hard sell.

While I am one to tell you to guard yourself from negative people and “Dream Stealers”, you can always Find The Good, even in these types of people.

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The Flooded Kitchen

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FullSizeRenderGood Morning Sunshines! It’s Saturday! I was lazy this morning and stayed in bed watching the sunrise above the mountains not wanting to get up, but thinking about my “To Do” list. Next week I am throwing my daughter a bridal shower, and in a few weeks she will be getting married. It’s funny how happy occasions can cause stress. I’ve always enjoyed throwing parties and having people over for dinner but it used to stress me out. I had to take a step back and think about what is causing the stress? Is it not having everything planned out? The people who didn’t RSVP? Will I have enough food? Then I realized it was me, I was stressing me out because I wanted everything perfect. LOL!!!! It’ll never happen. Seriously, every year I throw a big Christmas party and right before people are due to arrive something happens. One year my kitchen flooded and we had just finished cleaning up the floor and throwing the towels in the washing machine when the first guest arrived. We laughed, opened the door and went on with the party. No one had any idea what had happened. We ended up sharing later with some that stayed late and they said they would have never known, and if it was them, they would have put a sign on the front door saying “Party Canceled”.

So I decided that I will enjoy planning, and for the most part I have. I have my moments of “What If’s?” We can always plan, just like in everyday life we make plans, but we need to learn to be flexible when things happen and make changes. I planned on being at the gym this morning before the sun was up but decided to be flexible and watch the sunrise and enjoy being able to take things slow today. That extra bed time will definitely help me Find The Good In My Life today.

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Successful Day, Successful Life

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Good Morning Sunshines! “Instead of trying to live a successful life, aim to live a successful day.” – Jessica O Matthews. WOW! I heard her say this on a podcast and it stopped me in my tracks. That is so true. Yes, of course we want to have a successful life, but if we focused on making each day what it could be we wouldn’t have to worry so much about the end result… it would work itself out.

My grandparents were farmers and toward the end of my grandpa’s life I asked him if he would do anything different. He said that every day he did his job and he did it well. At night he made peace with the man upstairs, just in case he didn’t wake back up. He went to bed knowing he did all he could have done for that day. He gave every day everything he had.

That’s what I want to do. I want to make sure every day is a successful day so I can have a successful life. We don’t have to be millionaires or Mother Teresa to make a difference. We can change things in our every day life. Find The Good In Your Life one day at a time.

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Influencing The Why

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IMG_4019Good Morning! Growing up I remember my mom and dad would tell me to watch out for who I was hanging out with. Onlookers would assume I was like them even if I wasn’t. I was lucky to make amazing friends at 12 and keep them for over 30 years. However, as I had kids, I would tell them the same thing. It wasn’t until I was an adult and going into business that I understood why hanging around the right people mattered. Though I still have these life long friends, I got married, had kids before they did, and moved away. My circle of influence changed as my career and goals changed. Just a few months ago my family and I were sitting at a table with people I never thought I would be in the same room with. My son-in-law tweeted that evening that his life was so weird from where he thought he would be. If he only knew I was feeling the same way. The conversations for these multi millionaires wasn’t just about cars and houses it was about “The Why”. Why they do what they do and who they were looking to help in the new year and how they could help others do the same. My dreams and goals were expanded that night. As I sat at the table I realized that I would never have had this conversation with my best friends. Not because we didn’t want to help others, but because our lives had gone in different directions and these goals were not theirs. My husband stretches me every day with his vision and what he/we will do next. One of my favorite quotes is by Mark Twain, “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that,but the really great make you feel that you too can become great. When you are seeking to bring big plans to fruition it is important with whom you regularly associate. Hang out with friends who are like-minded and who are also designing purpose filled lives. Similarly be that kind of friend for your friends. ”

I have decided that in 2018 I want to be that friend to others. I want to help them/you achieve their/your dreams and visions. I want to talk about your why, because without a why the results don’t last. I’m excited to hear from you so we can Find The Good In Your Life.

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Why Wait?

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new-years-day-2660925_960_720Good Morning Sunshine! Today is January 3, 2018. How are you doing with all those goals you set for yourself? Did you miss the gym already and say, “Never mind”? Did you eat something you said you weren’t going to have? Did you not get up and read or write like you said you would? Guess what! It’s ok! Today will be that day that you do that thing you said you would. I don’t understand why we continue to beat ourselves up when we are given a new opportunity every moment of the day. Right here, right now, you can decide that things are going to be different. You will pack your gym clothes so you can go right after work. You will pack your lunch so you can eat healthy, and save money, bonus! You will bring that book and read during your break. Today is the day you stand up for yourself and no longer allow others to make you feel less than, because you are amazing. You don’t need a date or time to make a change. You just say “Right here, right now, things are going to be different.” Just like that, they can be. Don’t listen to those who tell you that you aren’t going to change. Those who would say, “That’s just who you are.” No one knows you like you. I believe in you.

In August, 2017 I had just gotten out of the hospital for some health issues and decided it was time for a change. I said, “Today is the day!” I did not wait until January to start going to the gym, or eating healthier. I drew that line and made that choice. I found the good out of that bad situation. We can decide to Find The Good In Our Lives today!

Finding The Good
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Finding The Good

findthegoodinyourlife2 Comments

Mr. Rogers said when he was little and saw something bad his mom would tell him to find the good. That’s what I do. I find the good in everyday life. Not just my life but everyone’s. I am their/your cheerleader. My kids and some friends have found this annoying at times but it’s one of the reasons my hubby fell in love with me and also why they always come and ask me for advice or help. I know there are times we need to be just in that moment and feel the pain, hurt and disappointment of what is going on. I understand this all too well. When I was younger my grandma would ask me how long I was going to be sad, hurt, mad whatever it may have been. She taught me to give myself a deadline, a day, a few hours, whatever it was, and truly grieve, feel the pain and then I was able to move forward. When I moved forward I was able to see what it was I learned in that lesson. It may not have been right away, but I did see it later on.

With my blogs, and one day soon podcast, I want to inspire you to find the good in your life. I really hope everyone can learn to see who they are, who they are meant to be and how they too can make a difference in this world. I want you to live your best life. I want you to be able to Find The Good.