Category: Overcoming

family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · mind set · Overcoming · Uncategorized

The Queen of New Beginnings

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Hello Beautiful People! “Each new beginning asks the same question: who will you choose to become now?” — Maria Hagberg

As most of you know, I am an author. I write early reader chapter books for elementary students, I have written and am currently writing a novel, and I’m working on my first — and probably only — non-fiction book. I love writing my blog (non-fiction), so I guess technically I enjoy non-fiction the best… hmmm, food for thought for myself.

My actual point to this was to share the kinds of books I like, because as an author I actually spend a lot of time reading. I love books about second chances. I read a book a few weeks back called The Queen of New Beginnings. That sent me down a rabbit hole of second-chance books. I actually love when the second chances are about themselves — not about finding a new love or job, but when people find themselves.

One of my favorite “things” about people is when they know who they are. Like they went through something but came out not harder, but stronger. Most of the time not because they wanted to be, but because that’s what happened — they had no choice in the matter. I always love a new beginning, a new chapter in someone’s life. I like to think of life as chapters. I’m still working out if each year is a new chapter or if every day is. I just know that for me, I like to be the best version of me, and every day I try to be better than the day before.

I won’t say I related to the book The Queen of New Beginnings — some crazy things happened in that story — but I do relate to the title. I think that’s the beautiful part: we can always start over, as many times as we need to. Believe me, I am the Queen of new beginnings. Thankfully, I always find the good in my life, and I hope that no matter what chapter you are in, you too can Find The Good In Your Life.

family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming · Uncategorized

Lessons From A Broken Mug

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Good Morning Beautiful People

“It’s okay to break. What matters is what you do with the pieces.” — Maria Hagberg

I broke a mug this morning. To say I was upset is an understatement. It was one of my favorites. I have several mugs—somewhere around a hundred (we don’t judge here). Most of them are Disney-themed, as was this one. But this one also had plants on it and said, “I be-leaf in you.”

I love a good pun. And plants. This was a top-ten mug. Could I get a new one? Sure. But that’s not the point of this story.

As I stood there with ceramic scattered across the countertop, I heard Matt call out, “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I said.
He paused and replied, “But you’re sad.”

He was right. I was.

Then he said something that stopped me in my tracks: “It’s okay. What’s important is you’re okay.”

In that moment, I had flashes of all the times in my life when hearing those exact words would have saved me from years of fear and self-criticism. I remember hearing, “You’re so clumsy,” or “Why don’t you watch what you’re doing?” And I know, somewhere along the way, I probably said those same words to my kids before I realized—it’s okay. We all make mistakes.

Now, I would never get upset with my grandkids for spilling or breaking something. I’d smile, tell them it’s okay, and help them clean it up.

As I’ve entered my healing—my soft-girl era, if you will—I’ve learned a few things. I can’t live in the “I wish I would have” moments because they wreck me every time. You know the ones:

“I wish I would have spoken to my kids with more patience.” “I wish I would have been more present.”

I can’t change the past. But I can do better now—with my grandkids, with my family, and with myself.

It only took me 54 years to learn this: it’s okay to break. What matters is what you do with the pieces.

Have you ever seen a mosaic table? It’s made of hundreds of broken pieces—each one unique, each one essential. Together, they form something beautiful.

Maybe that’s the metaphor for my life. All the broken pieces I’ve gathered and put back together have helped me find the good in my life.

And I hope that as you clean up your own shattered pieces, you too can Find the Good in Your Life.

family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming · Uncategorized

Eggshells

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“The ground only feels fragile when you’re not standing in your truth.” ~ Maria Hagberg

Hello Beautiful People. Did I ever tell you I have a magical gift? I learned to read a room before I learned to read a book. When you have parental units that are walking time bombs you learn at an early age what not to say or do to set them off. Unfortunately this “gift” followed me into adulthood. My daughter got mad at me one day because I would, and still do, wait to share things until the “time is right.” I would try never to ruin my kids’ mornings before school, even if that meant I was the one making the sacrifice because I didn’t want their day to be bad. She said, “Why do you do that? If you have something to say, just say it.” If only it was that easy. You would think at 54 I would have let this go, but there are days I still feel the crunch of egg shells beneath my feet.

In my adult life this “gift” followed me into relationships. I had gone to therapy and at one time became very bold with my words, just saying whatever came to mind, not caring about the other person’s feelings, just wanting my truth to be heard. I was then told I was too harsh and I needed to really watch what I say, because once words are spoken they could be forgiven but never forgotten. This thought almost paralyzed me. I never wanted to hurt people, I just wanted to be heard. Back to therapy I went. Unfortunately not wanting to hurt others meant I wasn’t living my life. I hid my happiness because I didn’t want others to feel bad for not being as happy. I sometimes would let it slip how happy I was and someone would make the comment that, “no one is really that happy” or “no one’s marriage is really that good.” It was easier for me to hide my truth then to be authentic. I was once again feeling the crumble around me.

Wanting to find the happy medium of being able to speak my truth and live my life without worrying about hurting others, back to therapy I went. This time I felt like I had finally understood what my therapists were saying. Trying really hard to allow that frightened child, the young married girl, and the grown woman I had become to speak her truth and live her happy life, I was finally able to sweep up the egg shells from the floor. Unfortunately, I do still find remnants of those shells on the floor now and again as I wait for the “perfect” time to say something, but I no longer fear the bombs that were in my life, nor am I worried about showing the love that surrounds me. I hope if you are walking on egg shells that you too can sweep them away and learn to live out loud and always Find the Good In Your Life.

family · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming · Uncategorized

UNICORN

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Hello beautiful people! “Always be yourself, unless you can be a Unicorn. Then be a Unicorn.” ~Unknown

Have I ever told you I saw a real Unicorn once? I have loved Unicorns as long as I could remember. I remember reading about them and how magical they were. There was just something I found so fascinating about them, from their magic to being unique in their own way. For my granddaughters, their first favorite animals were also Unicorns… I had nothing to do with that. For my 50th birthday I had a Lisa Frank Unicorn birthday cake. Oh the choke hold she had on me, and still does.

It was the 80’s so don’t come for me, but The Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus was coming to town with a “REAL” Unicorn. I had to go! I remember every fiber in my body believed this was real. When I got there and saw what everyone else said was just a goat with a horn growing out of it’s head, it crushed me because I wanted to believe it was real. I choose to believe it was. (As an adult who has lost some of her whimsy I may have to concede to it being a goat.) My best friend had a Unicorn ring that she would let me wear whenever I went to her house and it made me feel so special. When I told her I was moving she gave me the ring so I could remember her. I have worn that ring for almost 40 years now. It is one of my favorite things. She remains my best friend to this day, and that ring remains magical.

So why do you think so many of us love Unicorns? Do you think it’s the fact that they represent all that’s good? Unicorns, rainbows and sparkle? Do they give us an out when others seem to be all alike but we feel like an outsider so we become an individual, a Unicorn? Playing make believe and knowing our Unicorn could save us because they were also strong. They could take on the biggest of giants with their horns. For me, I like to think of myself as a Unicorn. I still carry the magic/imagination, the strength, the individuality, and the joy that comes from believing. I hope you can find your inner Unicorn and everything that comes when you Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming · Uncategorized

Don’t Yuck My Yum!

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Hello beautiful people. “Do your thing. And don’t care if they like it.” — Tina Fey

Have you ever been sharing something with someone and they roll their eyes, or say “I don’t like that”? It’s not just when I’m sharing something that I don’t like, but when someone sees or hears about something someone else has and says, “Yuck, I don’t like that.” That’s ok Becky (made up name) it wasn’t for you. I’ve taught myself over the years, when someone asks me directly if I like something and I don’t, to usually say, “I like it for you, it’s not for me.” And now that I’m thinking about it, I could probably leave out the last part. Seriously, I never want to take away from someone else’s joy of something they like. I do not like candy (love chocolate) but you’ll never catch me yucking my daughter’s yum as she eats jelly beans or Sour Patch Kids.

In this age of keyboard warriors, everyone seems ready to share their opinion — whether you asked for it or not. But here’s the truth: you can hear something or read something and simply… not reply. I’ve caught myself wanting to chime in on things that were none of my business, ready to toss in my two cents. But really, why? If you like pickles and peanut butter, or if you’d rather hike the mountains than sit on the beach, what does that have to do with me? The same goes for parenting choices — co-sleeping, crib sleeping, or anything else. Unless it’s your child, maybe it’s not your say. Why do we feel so entitled to weigh in on other people’s lives?

I don’t know about you, but people seem to want to speak into my life often. I’ve learned not to let it get to me, and when it does, I ask myself two questions: Do they pay my bills? and Do they live in a way I’d want to model my own life after? If not, their opinion doesn’t deserve my energy. We should allow people to enjoy their yums, as long as it does no harm to them or anyone else. So tell me , what’s one of your yums, that thing you love even if others don’t? Life is too short to waste on yucking someone else’s yum. Celebrate your joys, honor theirs, and always, Find the Good in Your Life.

family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · mind set · Overcoming

It Felt Like Magic

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“Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens, Brown paper packages tied up with strings, These are a few of my favorite things” ~ Lyrics, My Favorite Things. Sound of Music.

Hello Beautiful People! I don’t know about you, but there has been many days lately that I am not singing happy songs about Christmas, but it’s more like…

“Where are you Christmas, Why can’t I find you, Why have you gone away, Where is the laughter, You used to bring me, Why can’t I hear music play?” (Lyrics Faith Hill or Cindy Lou Who).

As my children grew up and started their own families and started their own traditions, Christmas just didn’t “feel” the same. I think it’s because I wasn’t “needed” to make the magic anymore. I love seeing my kids do things for their kids, but something was missing.

Now, something tells me if you know me you won’t be surprised by this next sentence. I was at Disneyland, and I found the Christmas magic. I know you are thinking, “Of course you did, it’s the happiest place on earth.” But listen, it isn’t what you’re thinking. I love parades and fireworks. I love fireworks so much that when I die I want part of my ashes put into fireworks so people can say, “She went out with a bang,” and/or “She really sparkled.”

Anyhow, back to what I was saying. Matt took me the other night just to watch the Christmas parade and see the fireworks. As we are standing there, I am not really watching the parade. I have seen it a few dozen times. I love it each time, but instead I am doing my favorite thing to do at Disney, and that is people watch. I am watching a mom who is there with her daughter who looks to be about 18 months. She is smiling so big at her daughter who is waving at all the characters. She’s jumping up and down in her mom’s arms to the music and the mom is fighting back tears watching her daughter. Now that baby will never remember that moment, but that mom will never forget.

Oh, but it got even better. Then the fireworks and light show started. It really is beautiful. At the end of the fireworks, it started to “snow.” As I was looking out at everyone, there was a couple dancing under the snow. She was crying, he was giving her forehead kisses. There was a dad wiping away tears because his little girl hugged him and said, “Thank you, this is the best,” as she twirled in the snow. There were 3 ladies standing beside Matt and I who were giggling and one of them said, “I needed this. It really helped me not feel so alone.” Needless to say, as I stood there in Matt’s arms, crying, I felt the magic of Christmas. Maybe, it’s just the magic of Disney, but I was able to bring that feeling home and let it carry me over.

I’ve realized as I was feeling the Christmas magic, I saw more of it in everyday things. Life is made up of unique moments that feel like magic, if we stop long enough to take our eyes off of us and look around. Maybe that’s just for me. Whether you have felt the Christmas magic every day this season, or if you are still looking for it and hoping to just get past the 25th, please know I understand it all. I hope next year will be different, and I will be ringing my jingle bells all season long. But no matter what day it is, or what season, we can always Find The Good In Our Lives.

Inspirational · Life · Overcoming

Find Your People

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Hello Beautiful People! “A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be.” — Winnie the Pooh

Have you ever sat in a room of people and felt so alone but yet sat with one person and felt so seen? I’ve stood on stages and been cheered by thousands and yet looked out only looking for my one. I’ve been congratulated by strangers and waited for the same congratulations by those I thought were my people. Looking for a place to fit in and finding “Your People” is sometimes a long and stressful thing. I have found as we go through the different seasons of our life, sometimes the people change too. I’ve been very blessed with the same, never changing, no matter the season of life, Besties since I was 12, but we live on different coasts and, though we cheer each other on and share our lives in text, phone calls, and pictures, something is missing. I need connection, we all need connection.

I think we live in a world that had become used to doing so much life through text and social media that when 2020 happened and turned into two years of social distancing, we became very comfortable with being alone. Then followed by two years of justifying why we still weren’t ready to connect. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with spending time by yourself. As a matter of fact, it’s healthy to be able to sit alone, but that’s a topic for another day. Though alone time is good, doing life alone is not. We are meant to do life together. What does that look like? Well in the book “Find Your People” by Jennie Allen, she explains that we have layers of relationships. The outer most are your Acquaintances, which are all the people you know. Then you have your Village, that’s around 50 people, and are the ones you do a lot of life with and would invite to a party if you were having one; you enjoy their company. Then there is the Inner Circle, the 2 to 5 that are closest with you, the ones you would call if you were having an emergency. I’ve definitely had the Village so many times. You share life and talk about things and start to go deep. I remember sitting around my table doing life with my “Small Group” (there was 20 of us) and we shared our hurts and our pains and cried together, went to doctor appointments together and waited for results together. We didn’t all go to the doctor together, but we asked who can go with me. We weren’t afraid of being a “burden” to one another. As a matter of fact, we picked up each others’ burdens and carried them, together. But 2020 happened, and doing life together changed. My group tried to stay together. We did Facetimes and texted, but life took a toll on so many of us, and the way the world looked and behaved, changed.

Now, I long for those conversations around a table or fire-pit, but this time I’m looking to go deeper. I love the Village life, and I want that too, but I want that Inner Circle. I want that feeling I had with my 12 year old besties of laughing till we almost pee (unfortunately today I probably would pee… if you know, you know). That closeness of, “I’m coming over.” I don’t want to settle for just doing Village life, I want to go deeper. That I actually am holding your hand and looking you in the eyes when I say, “everything will be ok,” not just texting it. I want to hold your hand and pray for you and not just text “praying.” I want those 2 to 5 people that I don’t feel scared to ask for help. You see, with my village I was the leader, and I felt alone so much because I was the one making sure everyone else was healthy and ok that I forgot to seek out my inner circle. I even, at times, became resentful of the Village because they didn’t check on me, but how could they when I didn’t let them know that I needed help. I thought the bread crumbs I was dropping would be the clue, but I never just said, “I’m having a hard time,” or whatever it may be. Finding your inner circle also means there will be hard conversations sometimes. Am I ready for those conversations should they arise? I hope so. I want to have the friends that turn to family. That I know that even if we have a disagreement we will get past it and be stronger.

I just started a new Bible Study group, and as we start to form the Village, I look around the table and wonder will any of them be my inner circle? It’s great if they are, but ok if they aren’t. I like knowing I a have Village of women praying for me. Yes, we all know Matt is my best friend, and, after God, Matt is as close to the inner of inner circles as it gets. But there is something about a girlfriend. Matt has his guy friends, and I watch as he giggles at his phone as they text each other and make plans to meet up. I’m a little envious. I love that for him, but I need that for me. In the book we are reading it explains about Finding Your People and how to go about it. I text a friend the other day and said, “Apparently you are one of my best friends.” She laughed and agreed I was one of hers too. For the sake of the book we won’t include Matt into that inner circle, or my daughter, who I love to think is my friend, not just my daughter, and knows me better than most. So now I have one inner circle friend… this is a little scary. As I come out of the fog of what was the 2020 vortex and go into an new season looking for and ready for those connections that I believe so many of us really are, I open myself up ready to do life with people again. Ready for cookouts with couple friends. Ready for coffee talks with girlfriends. Ready to hold myself accountable for allowing love and friendship back into my life that go deeper and not closing myself off because of past hurts. I would love to know, do you have your Village? Do you have your Inner Circle? I would really suggest everyone seeking to make new connections to read this book. I don’t agree with all of it, but the one thing I know for sure, I want to share the good in my life, and I hope you always Find The Good In Your Life.

gratitude · Inspirational · Life · music · Overcoming

Music

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“Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.” ~ Maya Angelou

Music touches us all in different ways. It can move us to tears, it can make us dance, it can calm a moment and bring us back to a place in time. Music has always been a big part of my life. I cannot sing to save my life, but have always enjoyed screeching out lyrics nonetheless. I was in chorus for years, and there was brave soul who I was next to for a few of those years because I could copy (sometimes) her pitch. Laura Griggs, you saint. I think of you often over the years as my daughter (who is an amazing singer), when younger, would ask, “Does that sound good to you?” Knowing I can’t carry a tune in a bucket, I will still sing to the top of my lungs and I wondered, did Laura ever feel the same way? My husband (who sings very well) when we are in the car singing will just smile and say, “you’re cute.” I’m sure that’s another way of saying, “Does that sound good to you?” I will also get the lyrics wrong and do not wish to know the real ones because mine are just fine.

I’ve had a song stuck in my head for a long time, and I could hear the tune and even knew a few of the words. Something about not being there and “I’ll be home soon.” I knew it was a “talking” song, if you will. I knew where this song was from, but thought there was no way my dad still had his old 8-tracks, but sure enough he did. I asked him to send me a picture of them and I would try to find the song. I sat for hours going through the songs on YouTube trying to find the right song. I heard a song and thought, “this sounds familiar” in my spirit, but it wasn’t THE song (Johnny Paychecks, Outlaw’s Prayer). I heard old songs that brought me back to being 8 years old in my bedroom on a Saturday morning when the clock radio would click on and I could feel everything about that moment. From the smell of the jasmine to the birds singing outside. If you would have asked me who could bring up those feelings, never in a million years would I have said Anne Murray. Seriously, I didn’t even know this name, but apparently she was a part of my love of music journey, because I listened to every song and knew them all as I sang along wondering, who was I so in love with at that age that the song I Just Fall In Love Again made me feel the feels? Needless to say, she will be on my playlist now. As Matt came in the room and let me know it was getting late and we should get ready for bed, I decided to listen to one more tape. I looked at the picture and put the name in YouTube. I had been playing the first 30 seconds of songs and knew if it was something I wanted to listen to or not, and then would go to the next or play the whole thing. The first song was ok, and I listened to most of it, but knowing it was almost time for bed I went to the next. As the next song started to play, it didn’t even play for 3 seconds when I knew this was THE song. The tears started to flow. I was 12 years old laying on my dad’s floor, away from my mom for the first time that I could remember, feeling so lost hearing this song for the first time (Tammy Wynette, Dear Daughters). I remember crying for her for months because she was my person, good or bad. I would play this song on repeat and think of her, until one day I no longer did.

Yesterday was Mother’s Day, and that’s when I heard the song. It made me miss her, but not enough to pick up the phone. Life is weird and complicated and so is love and boundaries. I have played the song a few times now, and I think it’s healing something inside me. I’m able to connect with that broken 12 year old and really start to heal her. Music is amazing. Where I needed to find this song because it was an earworm, to being able to lay that moment in time to rest. I will find peace and forgiveness for myself. I will be thankful for all the other songs I found and how the good memories will outweigh the bad. In therapy when I talk about “healing,” it all centers around that time in my life, what happened before it that lead to that moment, to how I responded to everything after. I’m 53 now, and you would think I should be “over it,” but when you go years just shoving things down, hoping they’ll go away, you can’t get over it. I never blame my parents now for anything, because if I do i have to also give them credit for the good. I take responsibility for my life. I have found that everyone will have challenges in life and you can only hope there will be great people along the way to help you. For me I had some amazing people who showed kindness in the day-to-day who may not ever know, but when I hear a song it brings me back, and sometimes it will bring a smile, and sometimes it will bring a tear, but they have all helped me along the way. I hope when you listen to music it moves you the same way and you feel it all, the good, the bad, and the ugly, because at least you feel. I also hope you always have people in your life that will help you, Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming · Uncategorized

How Do You Take Your Mornings?

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Hello Beautiful People! “There are morning people and there people who can’t speak for 2 hours upon waking up and they marry each other.” ~ A Meme I Read

Sorry for the M.I.A. I have been down for the count the past few weeks (it was a month). I do not know what I had but it had me sleeping when I could because I was up coughing my lungs out the other part of the day. My energy was zapped and my focus was gone. However, I am feeling so much better now and I am feeling like writing again. I have homework to catch up on and a book to get in to my publisher, like yesterday, but I felt like blogging first because I saw that meme the other day and thought how true it was.

How do you wake up? Matt is a jump out of bed, brush his teeth, wash his face, get dressed, and let the dogs out, all in the first 15 minutes of opening his eyes. I, on the other hand, wake up, stare out the window watching the sun rise from bed (pictured) as Matt does his thing. I sit up when he’s downstairs to adjust myself because while he’s downstairs letting the dogs out he’s making me a warm beverage (usually tea but sometimes just warm water with lemon). Matt will bring me my drink and I will then just sit and drink it. Don’t get me wrong, I am a morning person. I love mornings. I even enjoy conversations. I just like to move slow. After I am done with my tea, I read, journal, then meditate, look over my planner, all before leaving my bed (except to go the bathroom). I know once I get out of bed I am fair game for the world. Matt will have already finished his morning trades, started work with his clients on the East Coast or England or somewhere else in the world and made breakfast for him and the dogs all before I am ready to get out of bed. When I had a corporate job I still made time for me in the morning. Maybe not as long, but if I don’t take things slow in the morning, then I feel rushed all day long, and nothing is that serious in my life that I need to rush.

There are mornings where I just feel so inspired to write that I will go into the office and just start working and not stop for hours. There are mornings where I will wake up and the house is still, and I will take the dogs down with me (they will be confused) and I will just sit in my living room as the sun rises over the mountain and wonder why I am out of bed. But most days are more like the first, and then once I am up, I go into the office to do work for a few hours before Matt and I go to the gym at 11:30 for a break in the morning. Then once home, lunch is made, then a few more hours of work before we call it a day. There is something about a slow morning/wake-up that sets the day for me. Matt said he needs to be productive as soon as he wakes up to set the day for him. I can see his point, having those mornings every now and again, but my creative juices are still sleeping till at least 8 am. But I am curious, how do you take your mornings? Whatever your mornings are like, I hope you have a good one, and always Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming · Uncategorized

Happy Valentines Day

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Hello Beautiful People! “Love her but leave her wild” ~Atticus

How do you celebrate today? Are you someone who likes the big box of chocolate with the big teddy bear and flowers with all the “romantic” stuff there is, or are you the more low key, just a card and a nice dinner at home? I don’t really “celebrate” today. Don’t get me wrong, Matt has in the past, and including today, has gotten me something that I love, but it’s never expected. Just because someone said that today you must show the people you love that you love them. Why would I want to be in a relationship with anyone and wait all year for them to show love? I’ve been in that relationship where the grand gestures were to hold me over till the next big day that they “showed” me they cared. I always felt like it was more for other people to see than for me. I rather have the daily love than the over the top. Don’t get me wrong, I love when Matt surprises me with a BIG gift. Yes, get me a new jeep again, or a trip to Hawaii. I will not complain, but it’s not expected, at least not today.

I have thought about love a lot. How do people show love and do they know that I love them? As you know, I am in Bible College and Pastor Rob said for us to read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, and instead of where it says ‘love’ say ‘I.’ We have heard this so many times at weddings, 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. But it takes on a new meaning when you read it with I.

I am patient, I am kind, I do not envy, I do not boast, I am not proud, I will not dishonor others, I am not self-seeking, I am not easily angered, I will keep no record of wrong, I do not delight in evil but rejoice with truth, I will always protect, I will always trust, I will always persevere. I want to be love and try to live in love, but I am human and some days I fall short. But if today can be about love, let it be the day you choose to be love. Let it be the day you Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming · Uncategorized

Groundhog Day

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Hello Beautiful People! “We do not remember days, we remember moments.” ~Unknown

Did you hear that the Kentucky Groundhog passed away? He saw his shadow and then passed. Actually, he didn’t see his shadow this year, so early spring. But how sad for him. Do you remember the movie Groundhog Day with Bill Murray? He had to relive the same day over and over again. Then one day, he was finally out of the loop. In the mean time he did they same thing over and over trying to figure out what would get him out of it. Then he found some moments that he liked and relived them. I’ve thought about that movie and others like it. The Map of Tiny Perfect Things was a good one. In that movie there is a boy and a girl who find out they aren’t the only ones going through the day over and over, and they go through it together. They thought if they could find all the good things in the day, they would get out of the loop. Spoiler alert, it wasn’t until the girl was actually ready to say goodbye to her dying mom that they could move on.

I have asked people if you could relive a day over what would it be? I’ve gotten so many different answers, but most of the time it actually comes down to moments that people would want to relive over and over. One of my husband’s favorite moments is when we were in Hawaii. It was after dinner and we sat at our table that had an amazing view, we were listening to the band sing Somewhere Over the Rainbow, looking out at the water watching the sunset. Matt said he felt so much peace at that moment. He lived in Hawaii growing up so he always feels at home when we are there. I too am an island girl and always feel at home near the ocean. I think most of us, when we think about reliving something, it’s wanting to capture a feeling. I know for me there are so many memories I wish I could hold on to because of those feelings I had in that moment. I love thinking about them because they will put a smile on my face, but I have never been one to want to relive something over again, because I am always waiting for the next moment. I love thinking about that moment Matt and I first kissed and how electric it felt. One of my favorite stories I’ll share another day. But there are so many amazing memories in life, like holding my children or grandchildren for the first time. Staying up all night with my best friends at sleep overs and laughing till we can’t breath. The smile on my high school boyfriend’s face when I told his grandmother I was his girlfriend. Up to that moment we had only been friends. It still makes me laugh to this day. I think about the nights Michelle and I had in DC, eating 7-11 hot dogs at the feet of the Abraham Lincoln Memorial, or riding the carousel over and over. Her and I walking through the museums, sometimes laughing about everything we saw, to sitting in silence as we looked at a Monet painting wondering how they could make us both feel something different. We both always wondered why all of O’Keefe’s pictures looked like vaginas. But I think those memories, even though they were great, all come down to a feeling. The feeling of love, friendship, joy, peace, true happiness, something that can’t be captured, but only felt.

I love pictures. My bestie Bean is an amazing photographer and is always taking pictures. She told me once, “take lots of pictures, because one day that may be all you have left.” She is right. I wish I would have taken more pictures or didn’t throw them away because of a heartache, because there was a memory attached to them. If you have read my blogs for a while you know my grandma had Alzheimer’s and her memory went, but we would look at pictures with her and see if something would trigger a memory. The funny thing is, a smell or a sound would sometimes bring her memory around. When she would talk I could hear her reliving that moment with feeling. Just like when you tell someone a story that made you laugh, they may never understand it like you did because they don’t have the same feeling you do. It’s one of those ‘you had to be there’ things, but they can see how it made you feel. Though we can’t ever go back and recapture those moments in time, we can remember the way that moment made you feel. Matt and I go to Hawaii often, and though we never had that same exact experience again that he recalls as one of his best days, we still make amazing memories there. We still feel peace and happiness there. Though I love remembering the past and sometimes can still conjure up those feelings when I think of that moment, I would never want to relive that moment over and over again. I personally am always looking forward to making new memories. Going some place new or reading a new book is so magical to me. Why would you want to relive one day over and over when there are so many beautiful days ahead. I hope that you can always find those beautiful feelings and memories that make you smile and in every day you can Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · music · Overcoming

I Wrote This

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Hello Beautiful People! “The scariest moment is always just before we start” ~ Stephen King

‘I often get asked what it’s like being a writer. Honestly, I’m not sure how to answer that. I love writing a lot. I feel it’s something I’m good at. However, writing my first novel was so scary. We are getting ready to do some re-writes on it, some corrections that were missed in the first editing process. As I reread my book, I have thought, “This is really good. If I didn’t write this, I would want to read it.” Yes, by all means, let me toot my own horn. I think I will talk more about the writing process another day, but for today, here is a snippet of my book, Daydreams. I hope you enjoy it.

“Hi everyone. I am Sophia Angel-Day Love. At exactly 10:23 a.m. on May 25th five years ago my life changed forever. So, in the next 20 minutes I may break down crying. It was Memorial Day weekend and my husband Bryan had the weekend off. He was a firefighter. However, he was on call that weekend for our friend Greg, because his wife was due at any time. The family was all packed up and ready to head to the beach for the day when he got the call from Greg that his wife was going into labor. I understood that he had to go, but our girls were so disappointed. Our oldest, Layla, was five, about to turn six, and Lola was three. Layla threw such a big fit, and Lola just liked to copy her sister, so she did the same. Bryan sat them on the sofa and explained why he had to go and reminded them why what he did was so important. He reminded them how he was a helper and how being a helper was an important job. Bryan hugged them and kissed them both and said, ‘I love you, to heaven and back.’ That was a saying Bryan started with the girls and myself because we had to have the hard talks sometimes about death and what could happen. Layla had asked Bryan if he would still love her even if he was in heaven. He told her he would love her from heaven and he would feel her love from there too, so it became our thing, ‘I’ll love you to heaven and back.’ 

“The girls and I went to the beach while Bryan went to work. We called to tell him good night when we got home and he had said it was a pretty quiet night so far and he would be home in the morning. The next morning my sister-in-law, Mia, called and said she wanted to come get the girls for the day and she would be over around 8 to pick them up. I tried calling Bryan but I didn’t get an answer. I figured he must be on a call, no big deal. Mia came and got the girls and we made plans for us to come over that afternoon for a cookout once Bryan was home and rested. After they left, I puttered around the house keeping busy, waiting for Bryan. I went out to the rose garden that he had planted for me, sat on the butterfly bench he had just gotten me so I could sit there and enjoy the view. I loved it so much. He had planted what we called a butterfly garden around it. You know, all the flowers that butterflies enjoy. He said I reminded him of butterflies because I was always going from one thing to the next, always fluttering around. As I walked into the house I heard a knock at the door. My stomach turned into a knot. I didn’t know what was on the other side of the door, but I knew something was wrong. 

“As I answered the door I saw Jack, the Fire Chief, and several others from the department standing there. I remember shaking my head and asking, ‘Where is Bryan?’ As Jack got closer I heard him say, ‘Sophia, we are so sorry.’ I don’t remember this, but I was told by a few of the guys that I just started screaming, ‘NO!’ over and over, but in my head everything had gone numb and silent. I collapsed onto the floor crying and screaming. I felt like my whole world had come to an end in that moment. Every dream, every future plan, everything, died in that moment. I barely remember the next few days. I know I have amazing friends who took turns staying with me till I could function again.

“‘Function again.’ That’s a funny saying. You see, I wake up every day and go through motions, but I don’t know if I am functioning. I am told it’s ok to move on, that Bryan would want me to. I’m told it’s ok to be happy, but my happiness died with Bryan. I don’t know who this was supposed to help today, because I don’t feel helpful. I have a job that I enjoy, and two amazing girls and the best friends anyone could ask for, but yet, I am not happy. I keep all the sadness and anger inside. As people try to be helpful I stay polite, but inside I say things like, ‘Shut up, you have no idea. You tell me how it feels to relive your worst nightmare every night when you try to go to sleep.’ I have not slept one full night in 5 years. I wake crying almost every night if I do fall asleep. I spray his cologne on his pillow so I can smell him. I ask God ‘Why?’ all the time, and I still don’t have an answer. 

“Oh, you might wonder how this happened. There was a house fire, and the little boy who started the fire was scared so he hid. The rest of the family got out, and when they realized he was still in there Bryan went running in to find him. As Bryan found the little boy, Bryan got him out the window in time but the ceiling collapsed trapping Bryan. Everyone tried getting to Bryan but it was too late. I am not angry at Bryan or his brothers. I knew the dangers of the job and so did he. I’m angry that I have to go through life without the one person who swore he would always be there with me. The person who could calm my fears. The person who I dreamt with, made plans with. I am mad, because even though we talked about this being a possibility, he never told me how it would feel and how to continue breathing without him. I have to literally tell myself to breath sometimes. I am 36 years old and by now we were going to have made a difference in so many people’s lives. We had plans. But instead, I walk around in anger and pain trying my best to be a mom, friend, employee, daughter, and any other hat people expect me to wear. I get to wear all these hats except one… the wife hat. That hat is gone. I’m sorry. I feel like I’m just rambling now. I really don’t know why I was asked to share today. I hope this helped someone.” 

As Sophia looked into the faces of everyone sitting there she didn’t see a dry eye. A lady from the back of the room stood up. She was young looking. She wore her blond hair in two braids and was very pregnant….

I hope you enjoyed that and want to read more. You can find your copy here. You need to read to find out if Sophia learned to find the good in her life, but I hope you can always Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · music · Overcoming

Dolly Parton

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Hello Beautiful People! ”Storms make trees take deeper roots.” ~ Dolly Parton

There has been a “joke” between me and my friends for years. If they asked me about an actor or singer, I would shrug and say, “If it isn’t Dolly Parton or Kenny Rogers, I don’t know their name.” Not really a joke, but pretty much the truth. I have loved Dolly as long as I could remember. She was a comfort to me for many years and still is. I met her when I was in Children’s Hospital having my first back surgery. She and Kenny Rogers came in and sang songs to the kids. They were practicing songs for “A Christmas to Remember” that would come out a year or so later. I’m not sure if that’s when it was recorded or not, but I do remember laying in my bed not able to move because I was strapped to a bed that would need to flipped (like Jonny was on in The Outsiders after he got burned). They walked in and she said, “Well hello sugar. How are you doing today?” Her and Kenny stood and talked to me for what seemed like forever, but I’m sure it was only about 3 minutes. I was the happiest girl in the world.

As most Hispanics growing up on Saturday mornings, the music would turn on and you knew it was time to clean. My mom loved Kenny Rogers. I can’t tell you how many times she played the song “Lady” in a row on the record player the night she got that album. She liked Dolly too, but not like she loved Kenny. Most Saturday mornings our house was filled with Kenny, Dolly, The Bee Gee’s, Diana Ross and Tina Turner. By the time Tina came on the house was almost completely clean and a dance party was going on. But back to Dolly. For me, when Dolly would come on it was like she was singing to a part of me I didn’t know was there until I heard her voice. She would tell stories in her songs that would make me feel. I had no idea that music could move a person like that. I was a child crying over songs. There was one song, my go-to song that I needed to hear when I was going through it, “Me and Little Andy.” My best friend knew I loved Dolly and I remember the day she played “Me and Little Andy” for me.

How could a song make you feel so much? I was no longer living with my mom at this time (read No More Hurt in my blogs for that story), and was living with my birth father who I didn’t really know and could tell he didn’t want me there. I understood this song. I had been Little Andy, knocking on a neighbors door because my mom hadn’t come home and I was scared. I didn’t understand these feelings that were welling up inside me, but I knew I felt this song like no song I ever felt before. I laid in my best friend’s aunt’s back room listening to this song on repeat. I cried a cry I never knew I could cry. This song became the song that would help me feel again. I had no idea that I was carrying stress around. I was a child, what did I have to be stressed out about? So many things! There has been many times in my life when I start to go numb from life and I know a part of me is needing to heal. I can turn on this song and feel feelings and heal feelings that I allowed to be buried. For me, Dolly has helped me heal because she helped me feel. I still listen to this song and cry because I am still healing that little girl. I have grown up stronger than I believe any person should have to be, but I am thankful for a blond wigged lady who called me sugar because she helped me find the good in my life, and I hope you too can Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming

SHOOB

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Hello Beautiful People! Shoob – To turn back, but not all the way back to the starting point. To break down and build again.

If you read my other blog you know I am back in school to get my Bachelors of Science in Biblical Studies. This means I do a lot of Jesus time and Greek and Hebrew are being studied. If you only knew how I shake my fist in frustration every time I think I have a word down, but I don’t. Doing great on the Bible stuff, getting in the 90’s on those test. When it comes to the Greek and Hebrew words, I’m getting 70-something. As Ciara told me because I was frustrated, “C’s get degrees.” However, I digress. The other day while studying I came across this word Shoob and I loved it. I was studying about the Potter’s House in Jeremiah. I promise to not get preachy, but for me I got excited about this word, so I need to talk about it.

I have felt at times in my life that I am having to start over in life. I have felt so down on myself for a failed marriage, not completing school, jobs that ended, financial problems, the list could go on. Always feeling like I was having to start over, a two step forward one step back kind of feel. Then I came across this word I have read about the Potter’s House so many times over the years. But there is something that happens when you read it in the context in which it was meant, understanding what the words means (look at me learning things). I promise I am not going to get preachy, just go with me, because if this is for no one else but me, then fine, let me make sure I understand this so I never feel like I’m starting over again.

Jeremiah 18:3-4,“So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.”

If you have ever worked with clay when it’s spoiled, marred if you will, (meaning spoiled, not perfect, could have been dried out, hard to work with) you would need to start over with fresh clay. BUT (you got to love a but in the Bible) in the Potter’s hand, he was able to reshape it. He was able to “Shoob,” break it down and build it again. What!? When you are broken down, felt like you were back at the beginning, just know, you didn’t go all the way back to the starting point (me getting excited). No, He just took you back to where He could start reshaping you. See, in order to reshape the marred clay, he had to pour water over to revive it. Those tears I’ve cried when I was feeling down (to me it was the water because when I cry I am finally surrendering… that’s a me thing), feeling like I was starting over, and over, and over again, I wasn’t. I was being reshaped. See, He never took me back to the starting point, for real ( I know where I started from). He just started me back to where I was moldable, pliable, teachable. He was/is reforming me into what He sees best. (I’ll just stop right there!) Thank you for allowing me to get this out for myself. I needed that word. If that was a word for you too, great. If not, that’s ok. But whatever you are going through, I hope you always Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Healthy Eating · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming

Dear Future Self

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Hello Beautiful People! “That sounds like a problem for future me.” ~ Too many people

I use to be one of those people who would say, “That sounds like a problem for future María.” Then one day I was listening to a podcast, I do not remember who it was by, but they said something that really gut checked me. They said something like, “You say you want to leave a legacy, something for your children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, but yet you say, ‘That sounds like a problem for future you.’ But when that future comes will you be ready to handle those things? Have they been dealt with?” I am completely paraphrasing, but you get the gist. As a person whose family means everything to her, I really had to sit with this. The 20-year-old me (pictured) was so scared of the future and life. I remember the feelings I had in this picture. I remember every detail from this night. If only she knew, everything would be ok.

There are things in my past that I wish I would have handled differently, but such is life. I decided that I need to do things now to make future María proud. I wanted to be a friend to her. How do you be a friend? You keep your word, you show up when you say you are going to do something, you listen to them and offer help when you can. You spend time with them and learn likes and dislikes. I am a great friend….to others. Showing up for myself has been hard. Keeping my word to myself, hard. The “I will do it tomorrow” was so easy for me to say to myself. I would never do that to others. Then one day something clicked. Not only do I need to do this for me, future me, but this will effect my family. Not dealing with the past will cause challenges not just for me, but my family. Going to therapy was eye opening. Learning to show up for myself, physically and mentally… game changer. I wanted to be the best me for me. I wanted future me to like who I had become because I took the time to do the work. So here I am, still soul searching and learning, wanting future me to know I am going to continue on being the best friend to you that I would want for me.

Dear future me… My friend, I hope you laughed more than you cried. I hope you danced in the rain. I hope you traveled and had adventures that make you smile. I hope you lived a life of love. I hope you are happy, truly, genuinely happy. Happy with your life, your friends, family, happy with yourself. I hope you are successful in accomplishing your yearly goals. I hope you wrote books that made people fall in love with reading. I hope you took risks and still end up happy. No matter what happened in the end, I hope you always Find The Good In Your Life.

Birthday · family · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming

Happy Birthday Ciara

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Dear Ciara, they say, “A daughter is the sunshine of her mother’s life.” I completely agree.

In mom terms you are 366 months, or 1461 weeks, or 10,227 days old. It’s hard to believe this, but I have loved you longer than that. From the moment you became a thought you have been loved. I could not imagine what an amazing person you would become. You have tested me almost all your life, but in a good way. You have taught me so much as a mother and as a person. You never cease to amaze me with your strength, love and compassion. I love telling stories about you… “Did I tell you Ciara did…”

As a child you were always so loving. We would dance around the living room as I would sing, “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.” You would ask me to spin you around and around until I became so dizzy I couldn’t see straight. I loved that you wore dresses with your purple Doc Martins and carried a purse full of rocks. You had a phase where you only wanted to wear your red sparkly shoes with everything. It did not matter if they matched or not, they were princess shoes so they had to be worn. I loved your imagination as you would play in your room by yourself and seemed ok with your alone time.

As a teenager we had moments of not so good, but overall you were great. I loved your confidence and that you told me most things. Now that you are an adult, some of the stories you have told me make me shake my head and thank God I didn’t know it all, but thankful I kept you covered in prayer. One of my favorite things you ever told me was, “I am not Caleb. I will go to parties and probably drink. I will not get in the car with someone who’s been drinking and I will always let you know where I am.” You were very strong in who you were. I always appreciated the times you would text and tell me what was going on, from sneaking out to walk around the lake, to going to someone else’s house instead of where you were planning to go. I never worried that I couldn’t find you.

As an adult I think I had more challenges with you in college than any other time. I guess it was more worry than challenges. You were grown-ish and I needed to trust you would do the right things. Not going to lie, I loved that you hated your roommate so you moved back home. I felt we grew closer at that time. I know moving to California was hard on you and making friends was a challenge, but I loved the time I got with you.

Watching you become a wife and mother does things to my heart that I cannot explain. You were the most beautiful bride I have ever seen. I will always be grateful that I was there when DJ was born. I was nervous at times watching you in so much pain, wishing I could take it away. I’m thankful you did a home birth so that you had your things around you that gave you comfort. Also thankful in knowing you come from a long line of strong, stubborn women who will set their minds to things and make it happen.

I wish I could sit here and tell all the Ciara stories, but I can’t. Maybe one day. For now, I will hold you in my heart, pray for you always and wish one of the funniest, kindest, loving , loyal, compassionate, beautiful, inside and out people I know Happy Birthday. If I wasn’t your mom, I would want to be your friend. But lucky me, I get to be both. Here is to an amazing year of love, laughter and always Finding The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming

I really like Sundays… I know it’s Monday

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Hello Beautiful People! “Sunday, a day to count our blessings, be grateful for the journey so far, and anticipate the beauty that the coming week holds.” ~ Unknown

I really like Sundays. I love songs about Sunday, “I  want a Sunday kind of love, A love to last past Saturday night,
And I’d like to know it’s more than love at first sight, And I want a Sunday kind of love.” Thank you Etta James for that classic. There are so many different songs written about Sunday or give you that Sunday feel. That Sunday feel for me is feeling the sun as it comes through the window as you lay in your person’s arms listening to music, you can hear their heart beat that seems to go to the rhythm of the music. It’s also making pancakes together as you dance around the kitchen, and they must be banana pancakes because that ‘s how Jack Johnson made the weekend feel. I love Craig Morgan’s song about Sundays as he sings about new believers being baptized or sweet Ms. Betty singing off key. I love the way my husband’s hand holds mine every time we go to pray. I know when we hear those words, “let us pray,” he will grab my hand. I look down at our hands and see them tangled together, sometimes not able to tell his fingers from my own. On the way home from church, there is nothing like a Brett Eldredge Sunday drive home, “Cause we were watching the world through an open window, trees lined up like dominoes…” Do yourself a favor and listen to these songs if you haven’t heard them.

I deleted the last half of this blog because it turned into a get yourself ready for the week “Rah Rah” blog and I wasn’t feeling it. I want to stay in my happy Sunday feels, even though it’s Monday. Mondays are great, they are our weekly “New Years” because we get a do-over. However, every day we wake up, is a do-over. I hope you have the best week. Listen to some great music, make pancakes for dinner and dance around your kitchen. It’s ok to do those things by yourself too. Because everyday is a great day to Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming

Worth the Struggle

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Hello Beautiful People! “Our struggles can be strengths.” ~ Jim Kwik

Growing up I definitely was not the smartest girl in school… probably even in the bottom. I was in speech class, was/am dyslexic, but they called it stupid or slow, couldn’t spell to save my life and would get punished for not doing well, all because I couldn’t comprehend what was being taught. I dropped out of high school once I was 18 because it was too much for me. I worked my butt off at any job I had, because once I understood the job I could work circles around people. But I had a passion for reading and writing, even though both of those things did not come easy for me.

When my kids were little I would tell them stories before bed. Rarely did I ever read to them, because unless I pre-read something, it’s hard for me. One day my son asked me what was the name of the story because he wanted to go to the library and get the book so he could read the story again. I told him it was a mommy story and that they weren’t in libraries. Fast forward many years later, I am working in corporate America. I had worked my way up the ladder because, once again, my work ethic will out work anyone if I want it bad enough. I was not happy because I was not living my purpose. What was my purpose? I still am not completely sure, but I did know it had to do with writing and speaking, so I did it. My family encouraged me and would always ask when was I going to write my books. Finally, I quit that job and wrote my first children’s book. It took me a moment because of the research that went into it. The writing was hard for me at time. Thankfully I have an amazing husband who said, “You write and I will help you with the grammar.” He still does that to this day with every blog, every book I have written, and sometimes before I post a long post. (Thanks Babe you’re the best!)

I think about that young girl who people doubted, and at times doubted herself. I never get upset with those people. Honestly, I’m not sure we knew what dyslexia was until after I was out of school. I feel bad for all the kids that were just called “lazy” but we actually loved things like English, but the thought of having to read out loud would send us into a complete panic attack. Now that I am a 3-time Best Selling Author and I speak on stages in front of thousands of people, I am thankful that I get to share my journey with so many and give them hope that they can turn their struggles into strengths, and I hope you too can Find The Good In Your Life.

family · gratitude · Life · Overcoming

Lessons From Grandma

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Hello Beautiful People! “Grandchildren give us a second chance to do things better because they bring out the best in us.” ~ Unknown

I have been blessed with 3 amazing grandchildren, and I never take for granted the time I get to spend with them. Every Wednesday is “Grandbaby Day” where Pop (Matt) and I go to our daughter’s house (usually) and bring at least one of our granddaughters to play with our grandson while our daughter does things she needs to do. Most Wednesdays are just playing at the house with dance parties and lunch with some outside play. But then there are days where we go to Disneyland and we eat ice cream and popcorn and watch parades. We wave “hi” to Mickey Mouse and ride Merry-Go-Rounds and then rewatch the videos on my phone for the next few months till we go again. Once a month we do a sleepover at our house where we to crafts, watch movies and eat popcorn. I love every moment of these days.

My Grandma was my favorite person. She was my confidant. She was the person I knew I could trust to tell me the truth even if the truth would hurt. But she would always say it with love, never harsh. When I was young I lived with her for a while until I moved back with my mom. Later in life she was where I would go for a few weeks during the summer, and then when I had my kids, her house was where I would bring them with me for the weekend. I loved sitting in Grandma’s kitchen. We would talk about everything. Nothing was ever off the table. I would call throughout the week and she always had time for me. I knew she was busy, but she never said, “not now.” I always felt calm at Grandma’s house. I know her house was covered in prayer, because her love for the Lord was one of the things I admired about her. I would often ask her who her favorite was, and her answer was always, “Jesus.” I was ok with that answer. It wasn’t until I became a grandparent that I understood her more.

As a parent I was always rushing to get things done. I had to make sure the house was clean, the kids were fed, homework was completed, on top of every other responsibility I deemed necessary. I liked Grandma’s house because it was calm, while my life, for so many reasons, seemed out of control. I was overloaded and didn’t understand why. I didn’t have memes then telling me that “it’s ok to not be ok” or that all moms are feeling like this. I didn’t know I would one day wish for the toys to be all over the house or to have my children crawl into my lap and ask for another story. I admired that parent who seemed to like playing tea party, or made time do puzzles, or had their child help them cook. I wanted to be that parent, but I didn’t have that example of a parent, so I didn’t know not everything had to get done. Thankfully I had the best example of a grandparent. I will sit and make time for each grandchild. I will allow the Christmas tree to be decorated any way they want and for Play-Doe and slime in the house (story for another day). I will sit and play tea party when asked and listen about their games they are into with excitement, even though I have no clue what they are talking about. I will always try to be that calm for them, the trusted voice when they come to me because they are The Good In My Life.

Entrepreneur · family · Overcoming · Uncategorized

Time Marches On…

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Hello Beautiful People! “Sometimes it’s the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination.” ~Drake

It’s funny how time goes on no matter what happens. Through a pandemic, through the loss of loved ones, through our happiest to darkest moments, time does not stand still. I, just like many of you, went through many things the past few years, and I grew and changed. I was not sure if I would ever write Find The Good In Your Life again, not because I did not have good in my life, but because my life and way of thinking and writing had changed. I am not the same entrepreneur out to change the world anymore, but just a person wanting to share her life with others through words of her life experiences. If I touch someone’s life through my writing here or with one of my books, I will have made a difference. Here, I guess I want to give a “blueprint” if you will, to help others through their life’s journey as I share my experiences and wisdom that others have given to me.

One of my favorite influencers always says, “Don’t stop until you’re insanley f*cking proud of yourself.” Thanks Gary V. Funny enough I have a Dove candy wrapper that I saved many years ago (pictured) that says “Don’t stop until you are proud” that I have pinned to my cork board that sits in front of me. I choose a new thing to do every year to challenge myself. I have written children’s books, a novel, went skydiving, trained, entered, and won a bikini contest at 52, and this year I am back in school to get a Bachelor’s degree. I don’t know if I do these things every year trying to find something that will make me proud of myself, or just to say I did it. People often say, “You must be so proud of yourself.” I think, “Am I?” I don’t know if I am or if I just expect it from myself. I am not sure what it will look like when I am or is this what I just do and when I’m a 100 I will look back and say, “I had a great life and did many things,” and I will recount the way I lived my life and be proud and close my eyes and pass away. Well, that took a turn I wasn’t expecting. As my therapist says any time I ramble, “You’re just working it out.” Glad I could share my rambling with you.

Well all that to say, time continues to march on and so do we. I am looking forward to sharing life with you and all the things that go with it. I’d like to think that I’ll write daily but that might be expecting too much from myself with the goals I have this year of writing a new Luna and Sol book almost monthly, writing a new novel, and graduating in May. However, I would just like you to know that we make time for the things that are important to us and we can always find the time. Plus, nothing makes me happier than talking to people and asking them if they too can Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · music · Overcoming · Uncategorized

Holding My Keys

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Hello Sunshines! I remember in my 20’s into my early 30’s I would ache with depression and sadness. I went to the Dr. and was put on Zoloft. I couldn’t figure out why I was so sad all the time. Why the people around me weren’t making me happy. I would cry myself to sleep just wanting to find happiness in my life. I loved my kids but they didn’t make me happy. My husband at the time worked a lot and so I thought it was because he was always gone and we would fight when he was home, so I just knew that was causing my sadness. I ended up getting off medication due to having cancer. Now I felt like I was on my own, nothing to help numb the pain. Fast forward a few years and I went through my divorce. I was alone many nights. I literally had a panic attack in Target because I didn’t know how to be alone. One night something shifted, I took a bath with candles, listening to music, had a glass of wine, read a book instead of turning on the TV, these were things that brought me joy. I realized I had been living for others, my family, my church family, my friends that I stopped living for myself. When I finally took the keys back to my happiness and figured out who I was and things that brought me joy life got better. It took a moment but when I realized I am the one responsible for me and my happiness I never looked for it in others. I create my own happiness and I try daily even when life is busy to slow down long enough to do something that helps me find the good in my life and I hope you slow down long enough to Find The Good In Your Life and take back your keys.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Healthy Eating · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Overcoming · Uncategorized

Hello Again

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Hello Sunshines, it’s been a moment. Let’s just say 2020 happened, twice. I’ll talk about that a little later, but right now, it’s good to be back. How are you? Like many people, I dealt with depression, weight gain, sickness, loss of family and friends, and just the lack of get up and go. I really do celebrate those who took the last 2 years to better themself, get in shape and show up for themselves. I found myself watching and getting inspiration by people on TikTok (not sure how to post, but trying to figure it out). Besides Youtube it’s my favorite thing to watch. (Don’t judge me, this is a judgement free zone). I have written so many blogs, but they all remained in draft because “I just didn’t feel it” once I was done writing. However, something happened that made me realize it was time to be me again and get out of that shell I was in.

My ex-husband died from Covid. That slapped me in my face and in my heart. One of the last conversations he and I had was about time and family. He hoped he had more of it and wished he hadn’t spent so many years being angry because he realized he was angry at people he and I no longer were. We had a family dinner a month before he got sick and talked a few times after that trying to catch up on lost time. We were making plans for when he was going to come out next and we were going to celebrate our granddaughters birthday. We talked about doing another family dinner and just surprising the kids that we were all there and showing them that we really did move past all the anger we had towards one another. When he got sick, I really thought he would be ok, we all did. Unfortunately, I guess it was his time. I grieved so hard, and still have bad moments where I wish he could see the kids being amazing adults and parents. I was asked by someone “why are you so effected by your ex-husbands death?” I realized they had no clue because they had never been married or had children. They didn’t realize just because things didn’t workout between you and that person doesn’t mean that you didn’t still care for them. He was the father of my children, and their pain is also my pain. Plus, I lost someone I had just became friends with after many years of hurt and anger. I know you are thinking, “Aren’t you married?” Yes I am. To the most amazing man who held me for days/months as I cried and mourned the loss of Rohn. Matt is sitting across from me as I write this and smiles every time I wipe a tear because he knows that my words will help someone else one day. If I have taken anything from Rohn’s passing, it really is to not wait to live. He said when he got out of the hospital he was going to spend more time in California with the family and take care of himself better. So to that…

I have a friend who made a life change, he lost over 100 pounds. He said something in one of his posts that has stuck with me, he said “Commit to yourself“. I realized I was showing up for others and making commitments to others once again, and I had gotten into the past habit of not showing up for myself. I know back in the “old days” women put themselves last and our husbands and children came first. Thank God we figured out that we can’t show up for them at 100% if we don’t show up for ourselves first. It’s so important to make time for us, to commit to yourself first. We all know we are stuck with ourselves forever, so we might as well be the best us we can be, mentally, physically, and emotionally. So, I did it, I committed to myself. I decided that I would show up daily as my best self. I will work out and eat better, I will continue to grow as a person and I will heal from the things that once broke me.

I do not believe in New Years resolutions, but I do believe in change. Anyone can change if they want to. We usually change when there is a life changing event that happens. This time for me it was Rohn’s passing. I do not want to wish I would have done anything. I want to say “remember that time I did____.” I have always been the one who sees the good in everything and everyone, and for a moment I forgot who I was. My motto has always been, “if it’s not positive, uplifting and encouraging, it doesn’t need to be said.” I still believe that for myself. Any how, as I said, I’m back, and I hope you will enjoy reading my blogs, that I WILL post, because they are good enough (self talk is important). I hope you commit to yourself and Find The Good In Your Life, even in those dark moments, even if it takes a little time.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Overcoming · Uncategorized

Are You Happy?

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Good Morning Sunshines, it’s been a while . I have so much to catch you up on, but that won’t be today. Can you believe it’s 2020? I seriously had an OMG 😱 moment a few months ago when I realized that it was 2020 and how long ago 2000 was and what was I doing when we all thought the world would stop spinning that night. Any who, that’s not why I decided to blog today. I wanted to talk about happiness.

Are you happy? I am. But what is happiness? What makes you happy? This last 5 months I did a training with some people, and for everyone else there was a 4 week open invitation for everyone to watch on Find The Good In Your Life (Facebook and Insta). One of the things we focused on was Finding The Good In Your Life and finding happiness in all situations. Here are the top 5 questions my clients and people in general ask me about happiness. “Why is it so hard to be happy?” “What does happiness look like?” “Is joy and happiness the same thing?” “Is happiness different for everyone?” “Why are some people just always happy?”

Well, I’m happy to answer those for you ….

“Why is it so hard to be happy?” Most of the time it’s hard to be happy because we find ourselves either thinking about the past, wishing things could have been different or worrying about the the future. I have found when I live in the now I can find things to be thankful for, and when you are being thankful it’s hard to focus on the negative. (You will hear/read me saying this a lot.)

“What does happiness look like?” I truly believe it’s different for every person. Happiness does not mean all rainbows, unicorns and sunshine for everyone. For many people, happiness can just look and feel like contentment. What do I mean by contentment? It does not mean that you are not striving for more but that you are happy (content) at that moment.

“Is joy and happiness the same thing?” No. Joy is a peace that you have when you are good with you. Being able to accept yourself for who you are and where you are. It doesn’t mean you aren’t still trying to become a better version of you, it just means you have peace with where you are right now. Happiness is usually based on the situation, memory, “feeling” you have.

“Is happiness different for everyone?” Happiness is different for everyone based on life experience, and science also says some are born with more of the gene that causes happiness. Don’t use that as an excuse to why you’re not happy. They have found that even those who have less of this gene can still change their DNA in a way that they cannot tell you are lacking, but you must work on it. I do understand that there are people who have medical conditions that can cause depression that may need medication, but even those people can find happiness with work, maybe therapy or someone who has been studying happiness and the brain for years. (That’s why I am here. I have been doing this for years.)

“Why are some people just always happy?” Are you ready for the hard truth…? They choose to be. Yup, it all comes down to a choice . It doesn’t mean you won’t have bad days or things won’t go wrong, but when you decide you want to be happy and that you actually want to find joy and peace, you will work toward it like you never have before. You will learn what things bring you happiness. What you won’t settle for anymore. Maybe it means removing negative people and situations out of your life.

How are you feeling right now after reading that? I hope you feel hopeful. I want you to be happy, but more than anything I want you to have joy and to be able to Find The Good In Your Life in every situation. I’m here if you want/need to talk.