Category: over coming

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Hello Again

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Hello Sunshines, it’s been a moment. Let’s just say 2020 happened, twice. I’ll talk about that a little later, but right now, it’s good to be back. How are you? Like many people, I dealt with depression, weight gain, sickness, loss of family and friends, and just the lack of get up and go. I really do celebrate those who took the last 2 years to better themself, get in shape and show up for themselves. I found myself watching and getting inspiration by people on TikTok (not sure how to post, but trying to figure it out). Besides Youtube it’s my favorite thing to watch. (Don’t judge me, this is a judgement free zone). I have written so many blogs, but they all remained in draft because “I just didn’t feel it” once I was done writing. However, something happened that made me realize it was time to be me again and get out of that shell I was in.

My ex-husband died from Covid. That slapped me in my face and in my heart. One of the last conversations he and I had was about time and family. He hoped he had more of it and wished he hadn’t spent so many years being angry because he realized he was angry at people he and I no longer were. We had a family dinner a month before he got sick and talked a few times after that trying to catch up on lost time. We were making plans for when he was going to come out next and we were going to celebrate our granddaughters birthday. We talked about doing another family dinner and just surprising the kids that we were all there and showing them that we really did move past all the anger we had towards one another. When he got sick, I really thought he would be ok, we all did. Unfortunately, I guess it was his time. I grieved so hard, and still have bad moments where I wish he could see the kids being amazing adults and parents. I was asked by someone “why are you so effected by your ex-husbands death?” I realized they had no clue because they had never been married or had children. They didn’t realize just because things didn’t workout between you and that person doesn’t mean that you didn’t still care for them. He was the father of my children, and their pain is also my pain. Plus, I lost someone I had just became friends with after many years of hurt and anger. I know you are thinking, “Aren’t you married?” Yes I am. To the most amazing man who held me for days/months as I cried and mourned the loss of Rohn. Matt is sitting across from me as I write this and smiles every time I wipe a tear because he knows that my words will help someone else one day. If I have taken anything from Rohn’s passing, it really is to not wait to live. He said when he got out of the hospital he was going to spend more time in California with the family and take care of himself better. So to that…

I have a friend who made a life change, he lost over 100 pounds. He said something in one of his posts that has stuck with me, he said “Commit to yourself“. I realized I was showing up for others and making commitments to others once again, and I had gotten into the past habit of not showing up for myself. I know back in the “old days” women put themselves last and our husbands and children came first. Thank God we figured out that we can’t show up for them at 100% if we don’t show up for ourselves first. It’s so important to make time for us, to commit to yourself first. We all know we are stuck with ourselves forever, so we might as well be the best us we can be, mentally, physically, and emotionally. So, I did it, I committed to myself. I decided that I would show up daily as my best self. I will work out and eat better, I will continue to grow as a person and I will heal from the things that once broke me.

I do not believe in New Years resolutions, but I do believe in change. Anyone can change if they want to. We usually change when there is a life changing event that happens. This time for me it was Rohn’s passing. I do not want to wish I would have done anything. I want to say “remember that time I did____.” I have always been the one who sees the good in everything and everyone, and for a moment I forgot who I was. My motto has always been, “if it’s not positive, uplifting and encouraging, it doesn’t need to be said.” I still believe that for myself. Any how, as I said, I’m back, and I hope you will enjoy reading my blogs, that I WILL post, because they are good enough (self talk is important). I hope you commit to yourself and Find The Good In Your Life, even in those dark moments, even if it takes a little time.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Overcoming · Uncategorized

Are You Happy?

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Good Morning Sunshines, it’s been a while . I have so much to catch you up on, but that won’t be today. Can you believe it’s 2020? I seriously had an OMG 😱 moment a few months ago when I realized that it was 2020 and how long ago 2000 was and what was I doing when we all thought the world would stop spinning that night. Any who, that’s not why I decided to blog today. I wanted to talk about happiness.

Are you happy? I am. But what is happiness? What makes you happy? This last 5 months I did a training with some people, and for everyone else there was a 4 week open invitation for everyone to watch on Find The Good In Your Life (Facebook and Insta). One of the things we focused on was Finding The Good In Your Life and finding happiness in all situations. Here are the top 5 questions my clients and people in general ask me about happiness. “Why is it so hard to be happy?” “What does happiness look like?” “Is joy and happiness the same thing?” “Is happiness different for everyone?” “Why are some people just always happy?”

Well, I’m happy to answer those for you ….

“Why is it so hard to be happy?” Most of the time it’s hard to be happy because we find ourselves either thinking about the past, wishing things could have been different or worrying about the the future. I have found when I live in the now I can find things to be thankful for, and when you are being thankful it’s hard to focus on the negative. (You will hear/read me saying this a lot.)

“What does happiness look like?” I truly believe it’s different for every person. Happiness does not mean all rainbows, unicorns and sunshine for everyone. For many people, happiness can just look and feel like contentment. What do I mean by contentment? It does not mean that you are not striving for more but that you are happy (content) at that moment.

“Is joy and happiness the same thing?” No. Joy is a peace that you have when you are good with you. Being able to accept yourself for who you are and where you are. It doesn’t mean you aren’t still trying to become a better version of you, it just means you have peace with where you are right now. Happiness is usually based on the situation, memory, “feeling” you have.

“Is happiness different for everyone?” Happiness is different for everyone based on life experience, and science also says some are born with more of the gene that causes happiness. Don’t use that as an excuse to why you’re not happy. They have found that even those who have less of this gene can still change their DNA in a way that they cannot tell you are lacking, but you must work on it. I do understand that there are people who have medical conditions that can cause depression that may need medication, but even those people can find happiness with work, maybe therapy or someone who has been studying happiness and the brain for years. (That’s why I am here. I have been doing this for years.)

“Why are some people just always happy?” Are you ready for the hard truth…? They choose to be. Yup, it all comes down to a choice . It doesn’t mean you won’t have bad days or things won’t go wrong, but when you decide you want to be happy and that you actually want to find joy and peace, you will work toward it like you never have before. You will learn what things bring you happiness. What you won’t settle for anymore. Maybe it means removing negative people and situations out of your life.

How are you feeling right now after reading that? I hope you feel hopeful. I want you to be happy, but more than anything I want you to have joy and to be able to Find The Good In Your Life in every situation. I’m here if you want/need to talk.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Healthy Eating · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

80 Days To Slay

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“Nothing stops the man who desires to achieve. Every obstacle is simply a course to develop his achievement muscle. It’s a strengthening of his powers of accomplishment.” ~ Thomas Carlyle

Hello Sunshines! Long time no talk. There is only 80 more days till January 1, 2020. How are you going to end 2019? Not just 2019 but the end to this decade. I didn’t give it a lot of thought going from 1999 to 2000 or from 2010 to 2011. I take that back going from 1999 to 2000 everyone was worried about how computers would handle everything at midnight and would the world come to an end. I laugh at these things now, but back then, it was serious. We didn’t go out to celebrate, we stayed with family, you know “just in case”. Everything seems so different in my life from 2000 to now. When someone says 10 years ago, I still think the 90’s, 20 years ago I think the 80’s, boy am I off. So what has changed?

My Life almost feels like a blur for the past 40 plus years. No, I never did drugs. Why does it all seem to be coming into focus now? Is it because I can see my goals more clearly now than ever before? I almost feel like everything before now was just a “wish” with very little action. Then one day I woke up and realized how to actually put action behind those wishes and make them a reality. Tomorrow will be one year that I released my first book, and went #1. I have written 3 books (chapter books for elementary kids) this year and I’m now working on a novel to come out May of 2020. I’ve traveled, done some public speaking (not as much as I’d like to do) for Find The Good In Your Life, and have become healthier than I was before (not where I want to be).

But really, what changed? Why are those “wishes” becoming a reality? I seriously took action. I know what I want, and how I want it. I/We have 80 days left till 2020 and I am going to finish strong. I have some goals to still reach this year and I will accomplish them. One thing I have seriously wrestled with this year is discipline. The next 80 days will be me being disciplined with the things I need to do, to move forward. I said 2019 was all about “Expecting” 2020 will be the year of “Receiving” but I set my self and my family up to succeed by laying down a foundation to make those “wishes” a reality. It’s not too late. Right now, you can stop “wishing” and start doing. I want you to ask your self a serious question, “Am I only wishing things will get better or am I doing something to make it better?” Whatever, “IT” is, you can change it. Your health, your marriage, relationships, self discipline, work, whatever it is, let’s work together to Find The Good In Your Life. 

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming

I Said F*@# It! But Like, The Real Word.

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Hello Sunshines! “Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out?” – Ian Wallace

 

Have you ever felt like you had to hide who you are? I have, and because of it I dimmed my own light. I swore years ago I would not allow others to make me feel less than, but somewhere along the way I did. I felt like I had to dim my light as to not take away from some others or to upset others. When you walk into a new space and there is already a “flow” going, you try to slip into others’ flow so you don’t disrupt things. I’m a bit of a “boulder,” not a pebble, but because I didn’t want to change things I shrank myself. Do you know how much you take away from a boulder when you become a pebble? Too much! As a matter of fact, you may not even recognize yourself anymore by doing so. Another thing I did by shrinking myself was not share my joy because I was worried about hurting others’ feelings. Let me explain them both.

Let me start with what I mean by hiding my joy. I have told you I was married before. Well, we still have mutual “friends,” and any time I said or did anything it would get back to my ex. This became hard on me, so I almost felt like I had to live my life in secret. I also never wanted to cause my ex any more stress or (not sure of the best word here) anything bad, but it seemed that the memories of me hurt him so I dimmed my light/happiness and things I wanted to share because of it. Why? Because I don’t like hurting people (a.k.a people pleaser). I did this with friends who had bad marriages. I wouldn’t talk about how awesome and amazing my marriage is because I didn’t want to make them feel bad. But inside all I wanted to do was share with everyone that I had an amazing life, great husband, amazing kids, and I am happy. But people would make comments like “no one is really that happy, that’s just your instagram life, why do you always brag?” Seriously, I am that happy. We are that much in love. And my kids really are that awesome and they are our best friends now and I’m proud of that…ok I digress….

So, becoming a pebble when you are a boulder. I am thankful I have been able to work in Corporate America. I was also one of the only women sitting at a table full of men. When it came to the pissing contest, I had to “sit down” (pun intended). It did not matter that I came in with more experience than most people at the table or room, it was going to be their way because “this is the way it has always been done.” When sharing new ideas of how to change things or make them more efficient you are told you are confrontational because you give push back. My favorite is “you are so passionate, but can you bring it down some.” And even better, being told you are “too corporate” in every day life when you try to bring order. So I gave up, shrank myself, sit in quietness because I get tired of trying until I no longer have any passion because I have become a grain of sand or my light is about to go out. So what do you do….What did I do?

I said F*@# it! No seriously I did. I think I said the real word as a matter of fact. I let the things I was once passionate about go because I wasn’t able to be me. I have always known you can be a leader without having the title of a leader. You can influence people more by just being you. I tried so hard to fit in because I didn’t see other people like me, until I did. I asked them, “How do you not dull your shine?” They let me know it’s because they get around others who are like-minded. They don’t always have the same vision, but they cheer them on none the less. YES! “Where do I get some of these people?” I thought. They let me know they would show themselves. Boy did they! There were people I thought for sure would be in my corner rooting me on but they were like ghost. I have barely heard “boo” from them and I see them weekly. Then there were people I hadn’t talked to in years who were cheering for me harder than my own family. Seriously, my heart couldn’t handle the love. Slowly, I started to see the old me again. I had to let go of some past hurts and disappointments before I fully saw who I am and what I should be doing. (Yes, I’m about to plug my stuff right here with no apologies). I finished that book, and book two is almost done. I decided it was time that I didn’t hide the fact that I have been so blessed and started a Vlog with my husband. We are far from perfect but we have a pretty incredible marriage and how we got here I feel like a lot of people could learn from it. Also, I’m happy. Why should I hide that? I’m sorry (not sorry) that my happiness makes you uncomfortable. I don’t feel I should have to apologize for it. I know what you are thinking, “This has been you dulled?” YES! And if you have dulled your light, I’m here to help you like I was helped. I found it (again) and it’s time you also Find The Good In Your Life! Shine on!

family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

Red Sparkly Shoes

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IMG_3375-1Good Morning Sunshines! “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” Mark Twain

I have these beautiful butterfly plates that I love to use but my husband only wants me to use on “special occasions.” This is where we differ. When my daughter was little she had these red sparkly shoes that she loved to wear. She had family members that when she went with them would ask that I not allow her to wear those shoes because they did not match what she was wearing. Trust me, this was hard for me because I was a parent that always had to make sure my kids were clean, clothes ironed, and hair done before they left the house. My kids had to be the “put together” kids. However, when it came to these red shoes I always made an exception. These shoes brought her so much joy. I would ask her, “Why do you ‘need’ to wear those shoes, when you have so many other shoes?” Her answer was always the same, “They are special shoes, they make me feel so pretty.” How was I going to argue with that. Explaining to a three year old that you are pretty no matter what you wear just wasn’t cutting it. (A little side note, my nickname for my daughter is also Pretty… she is My Pretty.)

I had an Aunt Marie. One summer I was sent to go stay there after my Uncle Al had passed away. I always thought she was odd with the way she did certain things, until I got older. Aunt Marie had this beautiful china we would eat on, and we used linen napkins. She had her friends come over to play cards and they were always dressed up. We would go to the store dressed in a nice dress. I remember sitting in the living room reading a book and hearing her friends talk about how nice it was to get dressed up when they would come over because it wasn’t something people did anymore. I asked my Aunt why she enjoyed getting dressed up. She said every day was special and she didn’t want to wait for a special occasion to get dressed up or to eat on her china when she could do it every day. I asked her then how will you know when it’s a really special occasion. She just smiled and said, “Don’t worry about that, people will tell you.” I never really understood that until lately.

We all have those friends that do something and we’ll say, “They are so extra.” I am sure people say that about me often, but that is ok. See, I want to be the person who uses her china (if I had any) for every day plates, or wear my sparkly shoes because they make me feel pretty. (I do have some but mine are pink) I want to be the person who makes you stop and think, like my Aunt Marie did for me. I have said this a 100 times and so has so many other people in your lives, “Tomorrow is not promised.” I do not live my life in a fear of “what if I die tomorrow,” but in the place of “I did everything I could today.” I enjoyed today. Today I lived my best life. I may have to work, maybe even at a job I don’t really like, but before work, after work, on my lunch break, I did something that bettered my today. I am pursuing the life I want. So, I will eat toast off of my butterfly plates. I will take a bath almost every night and use my Lush bath bombs, and if I have a not so good day, I may even use a whole bath bomb and bubbles and dip down to my nose as the bubbles consume me like I would when I was a kid. I want to be “extra.” I want to live my extra best life every day. I also want you to live your extra best life. Today is the day you Find The Good In Your Life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming

This Is Not A Dress Rehearsal

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steve jobs

Good Morning Sunshines! “Know the true value of time; snatch, seize, and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination: never put off till tomorrow what you can do today. ” – Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

We have all said it, “I’ll do it tomorrow.” Somehow tomorrow never comes. I’ve told you about my best friends growing up. There were 5 of us, until there wasn’t. Mel was coming home from a Halloween party when a drunk driver hit her and took her life away too early… she was only 18. She had her whole life ahead of her and it was taken. She didn’t get the chance to do the things we all get to do and take for granted, including me. I don’t tell you that to be a downer, I tell you that because I want you to realize we are not promised tomorrow. There are no do-overs. There are things we can’t get back. We can’t get back time or words. Be careful with them both.

I have told y’all before I listen to a lot of podcasts and try to read a lot, so there are two things that Steve Jobs has said that rings over and over in my head. The first, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” And the second, “Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.”

I am not telling you to go to work next week and put in your notice. However, I will tell you to figure out what that passion is and start doing it. It may be part time for now until you can make it your full time thing. It may never become a full time, pay the bills thing you get to do, but how much happier are you that you get to do something that brings you joy. Most people will come home, eat, and then sit in front of the tv. That is probably not bringing you the joy you are looking for. If you are one of the few who actually get paid to do what you love, congratulations, that’s awesome. But if you aren’t, then I want you to be honest with yourself. What are you waiting for? Buy the camera and take the pictures. Take the art classes. Try out for the play. Sing in your church choir. Write the book. Bake the cookies/cupcakes. Take a dance class. Start the business. We don’t get a do-over. This life is not a dress rehearsal. We get one chance to do it right. I know I felt like I had to put my dreams on hold while my kids were growing up. I wish someone had told me it’s ok to not put your dreams on hold. I think my kids would have had a better childhood if they had a parent who was living her best life. They would have seen a joy in me because I had an outlet instead of a parent who was stressed because I felt the need to live up to other peoples’ standards. I am thankful that I stopped waiting. Now it’s your turn. Go for it! You can do anything you want! Live your best life and Find The Good In Your Life.

 

family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · over coming · Uncategorized

I Did Something Scary

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IMG_2835Good Morning Sunshines! “When is the last time you did something that scared you, but in a good way. Scared you like butterflies in your stomach, kind of want to throw up a little bit, I will stretch myself and rise to the occasion, kind of scary?!” ~Janelle Espling

I’ve just done something that scares me. Scares me in a good way, but it still scares me. Let me tell you why. When I was 12 years old I had a best friend who I would pass notes back and forth with in the halls at school. Sometimes she would return my notes to me with red ink on them to correct my spelling. She did this thinking it was being helpful and I shrugged it off. I had no idea how much this affected me until years later.

I have always wanted to write. I love to write, share stories, help others grow, improve their lives, and make people happy. However, because of what happened when I was 12, it kept stopping me. I would write and put things away. I would get excited but never wanted to share. Every time I failed to hit my goal of doing something it didn’t surprise me. I would get knocked down and wonder how I got back up. Well this last time when I fell, I landed on my back and when I did, I saw the way up, and there was a hand reaching down to pull me up.

There is a saying, “A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you forget the words.” When I married my hubby, he was my best friend first. He knew my dreams and he would remind me all the time. Finally, as I laid on my back looking up, feeling defeated, my Hubby reached his hand down and lifted me up. He told me to write and he would read it all and check my spelling, grammar, punctuations, etc. So, I did it. It took me several months (ok, maybe a year or so) but I finally wrote my first of many children’s books. So, if you’re feeling like you got knocked down, I am reaching down to you and ready to help pull you up and help you. What is it you have been wanting to do but put away? Let’s talk about it. I want to help you Find The Good In Your Life.

 

 

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Healthy Eating · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

September Is The New January

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NPP Delta II LaunchHello Sunshines! “Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.” Meister Eckhart

Happy New Year!!! I know you’re thinking I’ve lost my mind. It’s been 9 months since you made your 2018 New Years resolution….How’s it going? I know I fell off track some. I said I would write daily and post weekly. Well, y’all know that didn’t happen. I was going to start Vlogging… ummm, I’m scared of the camera. I wanted to work out at least 5 times a week and lose 20 pounds. LOL, now I only need to lose 25 pounds. I wanted to finish my book by May… well, I didn’t finish it till July.

What were your goals in January? How did you get off track? Was it the holidays, spring break, summer, vacations, the kids? This is why I said September is the new January. The kids are all back in school tomorrow. The next big holiday is 2 1/2 months away. Think of all the things you can do if you truly focus for the next 2 months. You’ll also be ahead of all those people who don’t start till January. Why do we wait to start? I know so many people feel like Monday is the best time to start because it’s the start to a new week. However, I’m going to challenge you to just start or pick back up where you left off. Don’t wait till next Monday, start tomorrow. Heck, start today! Whatever the goal is that you had in mind for this year it can still be accomplished, this year.

Tonight I want you to write down your to do list for tomorrow. Make sure to include those things you wanted for yourself. You may have to get up earlier. I promise you if you get up before everyone else to do what you want to do, it will set the mood in a positive way for you. Tomorrow morning when your alarm goes off, do not hit the snooze. I want you to count backwards… 5,4,3,2,1 and then get up like a rocket ship (listen to Mel Robbins- Outsmart Your Brain to fully understand why this works) You have a 5 second window to make decisions to change your life. Tomorrow morning will you decide today is the day or will you continue to let your dreams not come to life in 2018?

September is my January! I am writing again. My first children’s book is done. The second will be complete by the end of the year and I have other things in the works too. What is it that you said you were going to do but got sidetracked? Really, I want to know! That business you wanted to start, DO IT! I’m waiting to hear how you decided that this 4th quarter was going to be the best part of your year. I believe in you and I believe that this September you will Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

Adjusting To The Dark

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Good Morning Sunshines! “Just like our eyes, our hearts have a way of adjusting to the dark.” – Adam Stanley

It’s been a few weeks since I last wrote but I have been thinking about this for a while. I was telling my hubby one night as I was walking upstairs in the dark that I realized I closed my eyes until I got to the light switch in our room. I asked him if he did the same. He said no, that he can see in the dark. You can see in the dark? Then I started leaving my eyes open in the dark and my eyes would adjust after a few minutes. I knew this was a thing, but all of a sudden I had a revelation to other things in life.

Being in the dark and letting our eyes adjust is a metaphor for so many things. I was having coffee one morning with a young lady who said, “When you’ve been in the dark for so long, your eyes start to adjust.” I almost fell out of my seat. She had no idea I had been thinking about this blog, not even sure she reads my blogs. But here it was again, our eyes adjusting to the dark. I realized it was “US” lying to ourselves. It could be the smallest thing but we soon adjust. My morning routine got thrown out the window the last few weeks while I planned an event. I would still read my bible and pray but it was kind of rushed. I even missed a few days. I didn’t work out, I didn’t write, and it was becoming ok because I was doing “something important.” The truth is, I was adjusting. I had lied to myself saying I will get back my “normal” when the crazy is over, where in reality I should have kept my “normal” and adjusted everything else to go with my lifestyle. However, my eyes were adjusting to the dark, my new “normal,” and I didn’t even notice til now. How did I notice I was living in the dark and had just adjusted my eyes?

On the morning of the event I knew it was going to be a crazy day so I grabbed my journal, and as I read my Bible that morning I went to write down what I was reading and feeling and saw it had been 3 weeks that I hadn’t journaled. WHAT!?!? How did that happen? I knew right then I needed to throw on the light switch and get back to what I knew to be true and what my “normal” was. I still had crazy going on for a few more days and because I had let myself adjust to the dark, it was taking me a minute to adjust to the light. Think about it; when you have been in a movie and walk outside, your eyes had gotten so used to the dark, you throw your hand up to protect your eyes, you squint, you have to get used to what was your norm all over again. So this week, little by little, I have been readjusting to the light and getting back to my norm.

Have you started to accept things in your life as “normal” because you let your eyes adjust to the dark? It could be as simple as mine, or it could be like my past of an abusive marriage where I thought “normal” was the words that were spoken to me, or the addiction of my mother. Those things were my “normal” until someone showed me that I had been living in the dark and had adjusted my eyes to see what I wanted in the dark. I hope today you can readjust your eyes and start seeing in the light again and Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

Where Did You Go?

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img_3385Good Morning Sunshines! “Do not allow negative people to turn you into one of them” ~ Anonymous

Have you ever woken up one morning and wondered what happened to you? How did I get here? I just had that morning. I woke up wondering how I allowed someone to speak into my life so much that they made me negative. Let me stop right there. They didn’t make me negative, how I responded to them made me negative. They drive me crazy but I still put myself in a position to allow them to speak into me in a way that is bothersome. I’ve never had this challenge before. I have always been able to remove negative out of my life. This is the first time I’m choosing to stay for the sake of the bigger picture, but now I have to figure out how to deal with what is happening and how I will respond. So I go to what I teach other people.

Use the grocery store method. When you go to the grocery store you only take what you need. You never need everything in the store, so leave those things there. I’m sure there is some positive I can walk away with, so that’s what I’ll do. Remember, everyone is in different places in their walks of life. Just because they aren’t where you are doesn’t mean they aren’t growing. View this as an opportunity for you to grow also. You may be stretched out of your comfort zone right now, and that’s ok. What can you learn while you are going through this? Do not complain to others! Trust me, I know this one is hard. If you have one person you counsel with or a spouse you can talk to, talk to them. However, the last thing you want to do is be known as the person who is always complaining. Especially if you know this someone (boss, co-worker, friend, family member) is bothering everyone else too, it can be hard not to entertain the venting conversations with others. However, if things get too bad and it starts to affect your health and mental well being, it may be time to break ties, find a new job, and/or cut people off.

So, I’m walking away with this today. I will not allow anyone to cause me to lose me. I am a positive, uplifting and encouraging person. That’s what I love to do. And who I love to be. I want to be that person that people enjoy to be around because I uplift their day. I never want anyone to run away from me because I am negative. As I continue to read, listen to podcast and learn from others who have walked where I am going, I am thankful for those who continue to help me Find The Good In My Life.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

It’s Not Too Late

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Good Morning Sunshines! “It’s never too late to be what you might have been.” George Elliot

Imagine you are 100 years old and you are laying in bed taking your last breaths and standing around your bed was not your family and friends but instead, it was all of your hopes, dreams, visions and talents you were given but never used. The books you never wrote because you were too worried about what others would think. The business you didn’t start because no one else could understand your vision, so they talked you out of your dream. The trip you never took because it was “never the right time.” The family you never had because you needed everything to be “just right” before you could do that. How would you feel knowing these things were going to die with you? I know this might sound a bit morbid, but the truth is that no one can do what you can do.

I lived in limbo for years of the things I wanted to do for myself. I would use my kids as an excuse. I would tell myself, “When they are grown up I will do the things I want to do.” Well they grew up, got married, and I still waited. What was I was waiting for? A few years ago when I had my strokes and was working way too much I knew, this is not the life I want to be living. What was going to change and how was I going to do it? I quit my job and started writing my first of many children’s books, but just couldn’t finish them. I have been doing other things too. Started a new company with my hubby, but he does most of the work for that. I help when I can. Very active at church. I spend most of my time there. However, knowing what my “calling” is and not fulfilling it was really getting to me.

So, what was I going to do? I had to think what made me come alive? What did I want to be when I grew up? I know this might sound funny to some, but I loved the show Sex and the City. To me it was a great show about friendships, and anyone who knows me knows I love, love and friendship. I’ll watch anything about friendships (including cartoons). So, while watching this show I would love watching Sarah Jessica Parker’s character Carrie Bradshaw. She would write an article for a newspaper and every time she did it made something in me stir. I knew I wanted/needed to write. Yes, every time I write my blog I think of Carrie Bradshaw. My articles will probably never be like hers, but I love the writing. I also knew I needed to write the children’s books because my kids would tell me when they were little they couldn’t find my stories in the library and they needed to know what happened next. So, I did it. I started writing my blog, channeling my inner Carrie Bradshaw. But, the most exciting thing, I finished my first book. Doing some rewrites right now, but it’s done. The moral to this story, it’s never too late, unless you are laying on your death-bed, to follow your dreams and live out the life you always believed you should have. What makes you come alive? What do you want to be when you grow up? Now it’s your turn to start living for you and Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Healthy Eating · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

Discipline

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Good Morning Sunshines! “Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments.” ~Jim Rohn

I have been writing a piece called being a crockpot in a microwave world. I hated it! I deleted it! I also cleared out the other 12 that I haven’t published because they just weren’t good enough. Have you ever just been working on something and said “NO!” I have in the past, been working on a project for months and trashed it and started over when It was due in the next few days. Seriously I have no idea where this is going today…

Discipline, I am not a fan of the definition that is given in the dictionary, they all sound so harsh (the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience😧). I think of discipline as practicing a specific desired behavior.

I had to have mind shift the last few days. I had a “belly ache” last weekend. You may think that’s not a big deal. Well, when you have the GI challenges like I do, you know, this is a big deal. I did it to myself. I won’t tell you how many doughnuts I ate, but it was just wrong. After being hospitalized for this almost a year ago you would think I had learned. But apparently I needed one more reminder before getting it. I would try to start eating healthy, but then I would say “I lack discipline” to give up the sugar, cake, donuts, sweets in general. I was listening to a podcast and, what was it on, but discipline. As I was listening to this I realized, I didn’t lack discipline. I am disciplined. I get up every morning at about the same time, with no alarm clock needed, I read, I journal, I have a To Do List, I know my Why, I workout several times a week, I get my work done in a timely manner. So what the heck!?!? I have literally spoken to groups of people about being disciplined but never when it came to this… eating healthy.

So, what happened you asked? I had a wake-up call. After listening to the podcast on discipline, I listened to Warren Buffet in one of his podcasts. He was asking the kids, “If I told you I would buy you any car you wanted and when you left today it would be outside waiting on you when you left, you would ask me what the catch is. The catch is, it’s the only car you get for the rest of your life. How would you take care of it?” The kids were saying they would take great care of it, getting regular oil changes, putting the best gas in it, and take the best care of it. Then Warren Buffet had a drop the mic moment, he said, “Well, I’m here to tell you this is the only body you get, take care of it!”  I realized it wasn’t that I wasn’t disciplined, it was I was lacking my WHY. I have always had a why when I do anything. Yes, I knew this was my only body I would get, but hearing it like that was a smack in the face. What was going to happen when I had grandkids who lived here and were over every day and they wanted me to run around with them? I know that when I eat sugar the inflammation that happens in my body is serious. So, I found my why and I decided to make a change. I know I can be disciplined in all areas of my life, including food. Yup, it’s hard just like it was waking up every morning and following my morning routine. But I found when you want something bad enough, you will find a way. I want to be healthy and be an example for my family and others. It’s why I do anything I do, to help others. I always want to help you Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

T.M.I. Friday – Me

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Image-1-3Good Morning Sunshines! “I’m a big believer that your life is basically a sum of all the choices you make. The better your choices, the better the opportunity to lead a happy life.” ~Karen Salmansohn

T.M.I. Friday – Me. So the blog I wrote yesterday is not what I decided to publish today. In my “to be published” are 9 things that I’ve written lately and then changed my mind for whatever reason, deciding not hit the publish button. So, what am I going to talk about if it wasn’t that bit from yesterday…..

Three rules I try to live by….One: At an early age I remember my grandma telling me, “If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.” Little did I know she was quoting Thumper from Bambi. However, this rule has stuck with me most of my life. Did you know it’s possible to see something on social media and not reply to it? It is! You can scroll right on by. Trust me, I have written out my fair share of “I can’t believe you just said that” responses and then deleted them. Mainly because I can still hear my grandma asking me “Was that nice?”

Two: Never Mess With Anyone’s Family or Money. In one of our business ventures we weren’t making a profit. We made enough to make sure our employees could get paid but not really us. This was a struggle. Knowing that one day this wouldn’t be a challenge we continued to push forward. We also knew if you treated people the way you would like to be treated, most of them would do the same, so we were great to our employees. Needing to leave the store early one night, we asked one of our people if she could close up for us. “Sure, no problem,” she said. Well the next day we get to the store and find out she had sex in our back room and cleaned our petty cash to order food. We left her alone for what should have been 15 minutes and she was there for hours doing us wrong. Needless to say, she was fired. We didn’t really have the money to pay her to stay longer, but we sacrificed and took from our family to make sure she had what she needed, only to have her “screw” us over. All I could think was, “You took from my family.” I had to refer to rule one in order to not call her out of her name and stick to the facts.

Three: Always be Positive, Uplifting and Encouraging. I guess this kind of goes with rule one, but I think it deserves its own rule. We never know what someone is going through, so to say something positive, uplifting or encouraging to them could really change their day. But not only to others, but also ourselves. When my kids were little, and probably still now, if they said anything mean about themselves or their sibling I would make them say 3 nice things. I know for all the negative that we hear it takes a lot more positive to undo the negative. So if you are like I was, saying things are negative about yourself, you need to say at least 3 positives about yourself to overcome that. What you say to yourself can be even more damaging than what that bully in your life would say. It’s ok to say you are amazing, you are an overcomer, you are going to kick butt in this new business (even if others say you can’t, show them you can). You do not need to believe what others, or even you, have said in the past. You can rewrite your own story. I have! (I’ll save that soap box for another day) However, today as you get to know me a little better, I hope I help you Find The Good In Your Life.

family · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

I Am Thankful

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Good Morning Sunshines! “When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” ~ Willie Nelson

I am so thankful for another day. I have started writing this at least 5 times and deleted it because all I can think is I am so thankful for another day. Why am I so thankful? I am thankful for another day to try again. I am thankful for my family. I am thankful that I get to go spend some time with some amazing ladies today. I am thankful that I get to do laundry today. I am thankful that I can call my mom later and check on her. I am thankful that I learned from my mistakes of yesterday. I am thankful I woke up next my hubby. I am thankful for friendships that have turned into “family”. I am thankful I have a place to call home. I am thankful I live in Cali. I am thankful for my animals. I am thankful for social media. I am thankful that I have time for others. I am thankful for those quiet moments when I can just sit and appreciate all that I am thankful for. I am thankful for my daughters laugh. I am thankful when I get a call or text from my son. I am thankful for my granddaughter. I am thankful I have my husbands hand to hold. I am thankful I get to go workout today. I am thankful for my marriage. I am thankful for pillow talk with my hubby.

I could go on but I won’t. Most of the times we count our blessings when we just had something major happen, good or bad. I had neither of those things happen, I just woke up feeling so thankful. I couldn’t hold it in. Whatever happens today I will remember, I am thankful. I am thankful for you who is reading this. I am most thankful for all of us who are walking this walk together to Find The Good In Our Lives.

Entrepreneur · family · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

Don’t Wish It Away

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dancing in the rainGood Morning Sunshines! “The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn the past, worry about the future or to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” ~ Buddha

Have you ever found yourself wishing for the next thing? When I was a child, I couldn’t wait to be a teenager . When I was a teen, I couldn’t wait to be out of high school. When I was single, I couldn’t wait to be married. When I had one child, I couldn’t wait for more. When I had to get up in the middle of the night to feed them, I couldn’t wait for them to sleep through the night. Now that I can look back on it, I believe I couldn’t wait for them to get older too. My heart sinks at the thought of how much time I waisted on wishing for the next thing and not enjoying the now.

I look at my family as they are growing up and are married, one with a baby, and wish I had that time back to sit on the floor and play with them instead of wishing they were older and could help me clean. I think about my friends who I don’t get to spend time with because we all have our own lives and some of us don’t live close by. I remember my grandma telling me to enjoy the moment because they will go by so fast. It is now that I truly understand this.

What am I trying to say? I challenge you to stop wishing away the day but instead embrace it. Take every part of your day and remember you will not get this day back. Go outside today and feel the sunshine on your face. If it’s raining, go outside and dance in the rain. Don’t worry about tomorrow or even the next hour, just be in the moment. Today, sit a little longer with a friend, hold your baby while they nap, call someone you miss. For those of you who enjoy your work, (that’s awesome) remember that. When it’s getting you frustrated and you want to throw in the towel, remember why you started doing what you are doing. Remind yourself of your why! Tomorrow is a new day and you may fail today at these things and wish you could be doing something else, and that’s ok. Keep trying every day till you can Find The Good In Your Life and in every moment.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

Petrified In Fear

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hands-in-chainsGood Morning Sunshines! “Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real.” ~ Unknown

Have you ever been petrified in fear? Have you ever felt like it didn’t matter what you did it was going to be wrong, so you decided doing nothing would be better? Have you ever woken up and known that you were failing everyone around you by not doing what you were called to do, but it was easier to do the safe thing, because failing again was something you didn’t want to risk? Have you ever thought, “No one will notice if I give up?” Have you ever thought, “It’s just not worth it?” I have! It was literally so bad I did nothing. When I say I did nothing, I mean I did nothing. I laid in bed all day being the most unproductive self I could be. It got to the point that I couldn’t even look myself in the mirror and ask, “What are you doing?” because I didn’t want to face the truth. I wanted to give up because I was scared.

The second day of “feeling” this way I knew I had to do something because this was not me. I got up and showed up, but didn’t post. I knew I had to go through the motions even if I didn’t “feel” like it. I did this for 8 days. “What the heck Maria!?!? Seriously, this is your soap box. You are everyone’s cheerleader for their dreams, you speak life into them when they have doubt and fear, do it for yourself.”  I had always told people to be careful of your “feelings” because some days you will “feel” love and another dislike, just remember why you started. Have you ever found it easier to root for someone else than yourself? Ya, me too. I knew this is not where I wanted to stay. I had to find my way out of this “feeling”.  But how?

I had to remind myself of my why. I went back and reread my personal journals of why I must not quit. I listened to more podcasts than ever before. I read more than I ever have before. I talked to a friend I trusted who I knew would understand but push me forward. I started speaking life back into myself and writing my goals back down. Going through the process I knew worked for me and had gotten me to where I was. I became thankful for where I was, but knew that is not where I wanted to stay. It’s ok if you fail. It means you’re doing something. I have to remind myself its a stepping stone to where I am going. So once again, I got up, showed up, and reminded myself to go Find The Good In My Life.