Category: fear

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The Queen of New Beginnings

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Hello Beautiful People! “Each new beginning asks the same question: who will you choose to become now?” — Maria Hagberg

As most of you know, I am an author. I write early reader chapter books for elementary students, I have written and am currently writing a novel, and I’m working on my first — and probably only — non-fiction book. I love writing my blog (non-fiction), so I guess technically I enjoy non-fiction the best… hmmm, food for thought for myself.

My actual point to this was to share the kinds of books I like, because as an author I actually spend a lot of time reading. I love books about second chances. I read a book a few weeks back called The Queen of New Beginnings. That sent me down a rabbit hole of second-chance books. I actually love when the second chances are about themselves — not about finding a new love or job, but when people find themselves.

One of my favorite “things” about people is when they know who they are. Like they went through something but came out not harder, but stronger. Most of the time not because they wanted to be, but because that’s what happened — they had no choice in the matter. I always love a new beginning, a new chapter in someone’s life. I like to think of life as chapters. I’m still working out if each year is a new chapter or if every day is. I just know that for me, I like to be the best version of me, and every day I try to be better than the day before.

I won’t say I related to the book The Queen of New Beginnings — some crazy things happened in that story — but I do relate to the title. I think that’s the beautiful part: we can always start over, as many times as we need to. Believe me, I am the Queen of new beginnings. Thankfully, I always find the good in my life, and I hope that no matter what chapter you are in, you too can Find The Good In Your Life.

family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming · Uncategorized

Lessons From A Broken Mug

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Good Morning Beautiful People

“It’s okay to break. What matters is what you do with the pieces.” — Maria Hagberg

I broke a mug this morning. To say I was upset is an understatement. It was one of my favorites. I have several mugs—somewhere around a hundred (we don’t judge here). Most of them are Disney-themed, as was this one. But this one also had plants on it and said, “I be-leaf in you.”

I love a good pun. And plants. This was a top-ten mug. Could I get a new one? Sure. But that’s not the point of this story.

As I stood there with ceramic scattered across the countertop, I heard Matt call out, “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I said.
He paused and replied, “But you’re sad.”

He was right. I was.

Then he said something that stopped me in my tracks: “It’s okay. What’s important is you’re okay.”

In that moment, I had flashes of all the times in my life when hearing those exact words would have saved me from years of fear and self-criticism. I remember hearing, “You’re so clumsy,” or “Why don’t you watch what you’re doing?” And I know, somewhere along the way, I probably said those same words to my kids before I realized—it’s okay. We all make mistakes.

Now, I would never get upset with my grandkids for spilling or breaking something. I’d smile, tell them it’s okay, and help them clean it up.

As I’ve entered my healing—my soft-girl era, if you will—I’ve learned a few things. I can’t live in the “I wish I would have” moments because they wreck me every time. You know the ones:

“I wish I would have spoken to my kids with more patience.” “I wish I would have been more present.”

I can’t change the past. But I can do better now—with my grandkids, with my family, and with myself.

It only took me 54 years to learn this: it’s okay to break. What matters is what you do with the pieces.

Have you ever seen a mosaic table? It’s made of hundreds of broken pieces—each one unique, each one essential. Together, they form something beautiful.

Maybe that’s the metaphor for my life. All the broken pieces I’ve gathered and put back together have helped me find the good in my life.

And I hope that as you clean up your own shattered pieces, you too can Find the Good in Your Life.

family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming · Uncategorized

Eggshells

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“The ground only feels fragile when you’re not standing in your truth.” ~ Maria Hagberg

Hello Beautiful People. Did I ever tell you I have a magical gift? I learned to read a room before I learned to read a book. When you have parental units that are walking time bombs you learn at an early age what not to say or do to set them off. Unfortunately this “gift” followed me into adulthood. My daughter got mad at me one day because I would, and still do, wait to share things until the “time is right.” I would try never to ruin my kids’ mornings before school, even if that meant I was the one making the sacrifice because I didn’t want their day to be bad. She said, “Why do you do that? If you have something to say, just say it.” If only it was that easy. You would think at 54 I would have let this go, but there are days I still feel the crunch of egg shells beneath my feet.

In my adult life this “gift” followed me into relationships. I had gone to therapy and at one time became very bold with my words, just saying whatever came to mind, not caring about the other person’s feelings, just wanting my truth to be heard. I was then told I was too harsh and I needed to really watch what I say, because once words are spoken they could be forgiven but never forgotten. This thought almost paralyzed me. I never wanted to hurt people, I just wanted to be heard. Back to therapy I went. Unfortunately not wanting to hurt others meant I wasn’t living my life. I hid my happiness because I didn’t want others to feel bad for not being as happy. I sometimes would let it slip how happy I was and someone would make the comment that, “no one is really that happy” or “no one’s marriage is really that good.” It was easier for me to hide my truth then to be authentic. I was once again feeling the crumble around me.

Wanting to find the happy medium of being able to speak my truth and live my life without worrying about hurting others, back to therapy I went. This time I felt like I had finally understood what my therapists were saying. Trying really hard to allow that frightened child, the young married girl, and the grown woman I had become to speak her truth and live her happy life, I was finally able to sweep up the egg shells from the floor. Unfortunately, I do still find remnants of those shells on the floor now and again as I wait for the “perfect” time to say something, but I no longer fear the bombs that were in my life, nor am I worried about showing the love that surrounds me. I hope if you are walking on egg shells that you too can sweep them away and learn to live out loud and always Find the Good In Your Life.

family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · mind set · Overcoming

It Felt Like Magic

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“Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens, Brown paper packages tied up with strings, These are a few of my favorite things” ~ Lyrics, My Favorite Things. Sound of Music.

Hello Beautiful People! I don’t know about you, but there has been many days lately that I am not singing happy songs about Christmas, but it’s more like…

“Where are you Christmas, Why can’t I find you, Why have you gone away, Where is the laughter, You used to bring me, Why can’t I hear music play?” (Lyrics Faith Hill or Cindy Lou Who).

As my children grew up and started their own families and started their own traditions, Christmas just didn’t “feel” the same. I think it’s because I wasn’t “needed” to make the magic anymore. I love seeing my kids do things for their kids, but something was missing.

Now, something tells me if you know me you won’t be surprised by this next sentence. I was at Disneyland, and I found the Christmas magic. I know you are thinking, “Of course you did, it’s the happiest place on earth.” But listen, it isn’t what you’re thinking. I love parades and fireworks. I love fireworks so much that when I die I want part of my ashes put into fireworks so people can say, “She went out with a bang,” and/or “She really sparkled.”

Anyhow, back to what I was saying. Matt took me the other night just to watch the Christmas parade and see the fireworks. As we are standing there, I am not really watching the parade. I have seen it a few dozen times. I love it each time, but instead I am doing my favorite thing to do at Disney, and that is people watch. I am watching a mom who is there with her daughter who looks to be about 18 months. She is smiling so big at her daughter who is waving at all the characters. She’s jumping up and down in her mom’s arms to the music and the mom is fighting back tears watching her daughter. Now that baby will never remember that moment, but that mom will never forget.

Oh, but it got even better. Then the fireworks and light show started. It really is beautiful. At the end of the fireworks, it started to “snow.” As I was looking out at everyone, there was a couple dancing under the snow. She was crying, he was giving her forehead kisses. There was a dad wiping away tears because his little girl hugged him and said, “Thank you, this is the best,” as she twirled in the snow. There were 3 ladies standing beside Matt and I who were giggling and one of them said, “I needed this. It really helped me not feel so alone.” Needless to say, as I stood there in Matt’s arms, crying, I felt the magic of Christmas. Maybe, it’s just the magic of Disney, but I was able to bring that feeling home and let it carry me over.

I’ve realized as I was feeling the Christmas magic, I saw more of it in everyday things. Life is made up of unique moments that feel like magic, if we stop long enough to take our eyes off of us and look around. Maybe that’s just for me. Whether you have felt the Christmas magic every day this season, or if you are still looking for it and hoping to just get past the 25th, please know I understand it all. I hope next year will be different, and I will be ringing my jingle bells all season long. But no matter what day it is, or what season, we can always Find The Good In Our Lives.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming · Uncategorized

Groundhog Day

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Hello Beautiful People! “We do not remember days, we remember moments.” ~Unknown

Did you hear that the Kentucky Groundhog passed away? He saw his shadow and then passed. Actually, he didn’t see his shadow this year, so early spring. But how sad for him. Do you remember the movie Groundhog Day with Bill Murray? He had to relive the same day over and over again. Then one day, he was finally out of the loop. In the mean time he did they same thing over and over trying to figure out what would get him out of it. Then he found some moments that he liked and relived them. I’ve thought about that movie and others like it. The Map of Tiny Perfect Things was a good one. In that movie there is a boy and a girl who find out they aren’t the only ones going through the day over and over, and they go through it together. They thought if they could find all the good things in the day, they would get out of the loop. Spoiler alert, it wasn’t until the girl was actually ready to say goodbye to her dying mom that they could move on.

I have asked people if you could relive a day over what would it be? I’ve gotten so many different answers, but most of the time it actually comes down to moments that people would want to relive over and over. One of my husband’s favorite moments is when we were in Hawaii. It was after dinner and we sat at our table that had an amazing view, we were listening to the band sing Somewhere Over the Rainbow, looking out at the water watching the sunset. Matt said he felt so much peace at that moment. He lived in Hawaii growing up so he always feels at home when we are there. I too am an island girl and always feel at home near the ocean. I think most of us, when we think about reliving something, it’s wanting to capture a feeling. I know for me there are so many memories I wish I could hold on to because of those feelings I had in that moment. I love thinking about them because they will put a smile on my face, but I have never been one to want to relive something over again, because I am always waiting for the next moment. I love thinking about that moment Matt and I first kissed and how electric it felt. One of my favorite stories I’ll share another day. But there are so many amazing memories in life, like holding my children or grandchildren for the first time. Staying up all night with my best friends at sleep overs and laughing till we can’t breath. The smile on my high school boyfriend’s face when I told his grandmother I was his girlfriend. Up to that moment we had only been friends. It still makes me laugh to this day. I think about the nights Michelle and I had in DC, eating 7-11 hot dogs at the feet of the Abraham Lincoln Memorial, or riding the carousel over and over. Her and I walking through the museums, sometimes laughing about everything we saw, to sitting in silence as we looked at a Monet painting wondering how they could make us both feel something different. We both always wondered why all of O’Keefe’s pictures looked like vaginas. But I think those memories, even though they were great, all come down to a feeling. The feeling of love, friendship, joy, peace, true happiness, something that can’t be captured, but only felt.

I love pictures. My bestie Bean is an amazing photographer and is always taking pictures. She told me once, “take lots of pictures, because one day that may be all you have left.” She is right. I wish I would have taken more pictures or didn’t throw them away because of a heartache, because there was a memory attached to them. If you have read my blogs for a while you know my grandma had Alzheimer’s and her memory went, but we would look at pictures with her and see if something would trigger a memory. The funny thing is, a smell or a sound would sometimes bring her memory around. When she would talk I could hear her reliving that moment with feeling. Just like when you tell someone a story that made you laugh, they may never understand it like you did because they don’t have the same feeling you do. It’s one of those ‘you had to be there’ things, but they can see how it made you feel. Though we can’t ever go back and recapture those moments in time, we can remember the way that moment made you feel. Matt and I go to Hawaii often, and though we never had that same exact experience again that he recalls as one of his best days, we still make amazing memories there. We still feel peace and happiness there. Though I love remembering the past and sometimes can still conjure up those feelings when I think of that moment, I would never want to relive that moment over and over again. I personally am always looking forward to making new memories. Going some place new or reading a new book is so magical to me. Why would you want to relive one day over and over when there are so many beautiful days ahead. I hope that you can always find those beautiful feelings and memories that make you smile and in every day you can Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · music · Overcoming

I Wrote This

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Hello Beautiful People! “The scariest moment is always just before we start” ~ Stephen King

‘I often get asked what it’s like being a writer. Honestly, I’m not sure how to answer that. I love writing a lot. I feel it’s something I’m good at. However, writing my first novel was so scary. We are getting ready to do some re-writes on it, some corrections that were missed in the first editing process. As I reread my book, I have thought, “This is really good. If I didn’t write this, I would want to read it.” Yes, by all means, let me toot my own horn. I think I will talk more about the writing process another day, but for today, here is a snippet of my book, Daydreams. I hope you enjoy it.

“Hi everyone. I am Sophia Angel-Day Love. At exactly 10:23 a.m. on May 25th five years ago my life changed forever. So, in the next 20 minutes I may break down crying. It was Memorial Day weekend and my husband Bryan had the weekend off. He was a firefighter. However, he was on call that weekend for our friend Greg, because his wife was due at any time. The family was all packed up and ready to head to the beach for the day when he got the call from Greg that his wife was going into labor. I understood that he had to go, but our girls were so disappointed. Our oldest, Layla, was five, about to turn six, and Lola was three. Layla threw such a big fit, and Lola just liked to copy her sister, so she did the same. Bryan sat them on the sofa and explained why he had to go and reminded them why what he did was so important. He reminded them how he was a helper and how being a helper was an important job. Bryan hugged them and kissed them both and said, ‘I love you, to heaven and back.’ That was a saying Bryan started with the girls and myself because we had to have the hard talks sometimes about death and what could happen. Layla had asked Bryan if he would still love her even if he was in heaven. He told her he would love her from heaven and he would feel her love from there too, so it became our thing, ‘I’ll love you to heaven and back.’ 

“The girls and I went to the beach while Bryan went to work. We called to tell him good night when we got home and he had said it was a pretty quiet night so far and he would be home in the morning. The next morning my sister-in-law, Mia, called and said she wanted to come get the girls for the day and she would be over around 8 to pick them up. I tried calling Bryan but I didn’t get an answer. I figured he must be on a call, no big deal. Mia came and got the girls and we made plans for us to come over that afternoon for a cookout once Bryan was home and rested. After they left, I puttered around the house keeping busy, waiting for Bryan. I went out to the rose garden that he had planted for me, sat on the butterfly bench he had just gotten me so I could sit there and enjoy the view. I loved it so much. He had planted what we called a butterfly garden around it. You know, all the flowers that butterflies enjoy. He said I reminded him of butterflies because I was always going from one thing to the next, always fluttering around. As I walked into the house I heard a knock at the door. My stomach turned into a knot. I didn’t know what was on the other side of the door, but I knew something was wrong. 

“As I answered the door I saw Jack, the Fire Chief, and several others from the department standing there. I remember shaking my head and asking, ‘Where is Bryan?’ As Jack got closer I heard him say, ‘Sophia, we are so sorry.’ I don’t remember this, but I was told by a few of the guys that I just started screaming, ‘NO!’ over and over, but in my head everything had gone numb and silent. I collapsed onto the floor crying and screaming. I felt like my whole world had come to an end in that moment. Every dream, every future plan, everything, died in that moment. I barely remember the next few days. I know I have amazing friends who took turns staying with me till I could function again.

“‘Function again.’ That’s a funny saying. You see, I wake up every day and go through motions, but I don’t know if I am functioning. I am told it’s ok to move on, that Bryan would want me to. I’m told it’s ok to be happy, but my happiness died with Bryan. I don’t know who this was supposed to help today, because I don’t feel helpful. I have a job that I enjoy, and two amazing girls and the best friends anyone could ask for, but yet, I am not happy. I keep all the sadness and anger inside. As people try to be helpful I stay polite, but inside I say things like, ‘Shut up, you have no idea. You tell me how it feels to relive your worst nightmare every night when you try to go to sleep.’ I have not slept one full night in 5 years. I wake crying almost every night if I do fall asleep. I spray his cologne on his pillow so I can smell him. I ask God ‘Why?’ all the time, and I still don’t have an answer. 

“Oh, you might wonder how this happened. There was a house fire, and the little boy who started the fire was scared so he hid. The rest of the family got out, and when they realized he was still in there Bryan went running in to find him. As Bryan found the little boy, Bryan got him out the window in time but the ceiling collapsed trapping Bryan. Everyone tried getting to Bryan but it was too late. I am not angry at Bryan or his brothers. I knew the dangers of the job and so did he. I’m angry that I have to go through life without the one person who swore he would always be there with me. The person who could calm my fears. The person who I dreamt with, made plans with. I am mad, because even though we talked about this being a possibility, he never told me how it would feel and how to continue breathing without him. I have to literally tell myself to breath sometimes. I am 36 years old and by now we were going to have made a difference in so many people’s lives. We had plans. But instead, I walk around in anger and pain trying my best to be a mom, friend, employee, daughter, and any other hat people expect me to wear. I get to wear all these hats except one… the wife hat. That hat is gone. I’m sorry. I feel like I’m just rambling now. I really don’t know why I was asked to share today. I hope this helped someone.” 

As Sophia looked into the faces of everyone sitting there she didn’t see a dry eye. A lady from the back of the room stood up. She was young looking. She wore her blond hair in two braids and was very pregnant….

I hope you enjoyed that and want to read more. You can find your copy here. You need to read to find out if Sophia learned to find the good in her life, but I hope you can always Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · music · Overcoming

Dolly Parton

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Hello Beautiful People! ”Storms make trees take deeper roots.” ~ Dolly Parton

There has been a “joke” between me and my friends for years. If they asked me about an actor or singer, I would shrug and say, “If it isn’t Dolly Parton or Kenny Rogers, I don’t know their name.” Not really a joke, but pretty much the truth. I have loved Dolly as long as I could remember. She was a comfort to me for many years and still is. I met her when I was in Children’s Hospital having my first back surgery. She and Kenny Rogers came in and sang songs to the kids. They were practicing songs for “A Christmas to Remember” that would come out a year or so later. I’m not sure if that’s when it was recorded or not, but I do remember laying in my bed not able to move because I was strapped to a bed that would need to flipped (like Jonny was on in The Outsiders after he got burned). They walked in and she said, “Well hello sugar. How are you doing today?” Her and Kenny stood and talked to me for what seemed like forever, but I’m sure it was only about 3 minutes. I was the happiest girl in the world.

As most Hispanics growing up on Saturday mornings, the music would turn on and you knew it was time to clean. My mom loved Kenny Rogers. I can’t tell you how many times she played the song “Lady” in a row on the record player the night she got that album. She liked Dolly too, but not like she loved Kenny. Most Saturday mornings our house was filled with Kenny, Dolly, The Bee Gee’s, Diana Ross and Tina Turner. By the time Tina came on the house was almost completely clean and a dance party was going on. But back to Dolly. For me, when Dolly would come on it was like she was singing to a part of me I didn’t know was there until I heard her voice. She would tell stories in her songs that would make me feel. I had no idea that music could move a person like that. I was a child crying over songs. There was one song, my go-to song that I needed to hear when I was going through it, “Me and Little Andy.” My best friend knew I loved Dolly and I remember the day she played “Me and Little Andy” for me.

How could a song make you feel so much? I was no longer living with my mom at this time (read No More Hurt in my blogs for that story), and was living with my birth father who I didn’t really know and could tell he didn’t want me there. I understood this song. I had been Little Andy, knocking on a neighbors door because my mom hadn’t come home and I was scared. I didn’t understand these feelings that were welling up inside me, but I knew I felt this song like no song I ever felt before. I laid in my best friend’s aunt’s back room listening to this song on repeat. I cried a cry I never knew I could cry. This song became the song that would help me feel again. I had no idea that I was carrying stress around. I was a child, what did I have to be stressed out about? So many things! There has been many times in my life when I start to go numb from life and I know a part of me is needing to heal. I can turn on this song and feel feelings and heal feelings that I allowed to be buried. For me, Dolly has helped me heal because she helped me feel. I still listen to this song and cry because I am still healing that little girl. I have grown up stronger than I believe any person should have to be, but I am thankful for a blond wigged lady who called me sugar because she helped me find the good in my life, and I hope you too can Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Healthy Eating · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming

Dear Future Self

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Hello Beautiful People! “That sounds like a problem for future me.” ~ Too many people

I use to be one of those people who would say, “That sounds like a problem for future María.” Then one day I was listening to a podcast, I do not remember who it was by, but they said something that really gut checked me. They said something like, “You say you want to leave a legacy, something for your children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, but yet you say, ‘That sounds like a problem for future you.’ But when that future comes will you be ready to handle those things? Have they been dealt with?” I am completely paraphrasing, but you get the gist. As a person whose family means everything to her, I really had to sit with this. The 20-year-old me (pictured) was so scared of the future and life. I remember the feelings I had in this picture. I remember every detail from this night. If only she knew, everything would be ok.

There are things in my past that I wish I would have handled differently, but such is life. I decided that I need to do things now to make future María proud. I wanted to be a friend to her. How do you be a friend? You keep your word, you show up when you say you are going to do something, you listen to them and offer help when you can. You spend time with them and learn likes and dislikes. I am a great friend….to others. Showing up for myself has been hard. Keeping my word to myself, hard. The “I will do it tomorrow” was so easy for me to say to myself. I would never do that to others. Then one day something clicked. Not only do I need to do this for me, future me, but this will effect my family. Not dealing with the past will cause challenges not just for me, but my family. Going to therapy was eye opening. Learning to show up for myself, physically and mentally… game changer. I wanted to be the best me for me. I wanted future me to like who I had become because I took the time to do the work. So here I am, still soul searching and learning, wanting future me to know I am going to continue on being the best friend to you that I would want for me.

Dear future me… My friend, I hope you laughed more than you cried. I hope you danced in the rain. I hope you traveled and had adventures that make you smile. I hope you lived a life of love. I hope you are happy, truly, genuinely happy. Happy with your life, your friends, family, happy with yourself. I hope you are successful in accomplishing your yearly goals. I hope you wrote books that made people fall in love with reading. I hope you took risks and still end up happy. No matter what happened in the end, I hope you always Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · Life · Overcoming

Worth the Struggle

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Hello Beautiful People! “Our struggles can be strengths.” ~ Jim Kwik

Growing up I definitely was not the smartest girl in school… probably even in the bottom. I was in speech class, was/am dyslexic, but they called it stupid or slow, couldn’t spell to save my life and would get punished for not doing well, all because I couldn’t comprehend what was being taught. I dropped out of high school once I was 18 because it was too much for me. I worked my butt off at any job I had, because once I understood the job I could work circles around people. But I had a passion for reading and writing, even though both of those things did not come easy for me.

When my kids were little I would tell them stories before bed. Rarely did I ever read to them, because unless I pre-read something, it’s hard for me. One day my son asked me what was the name of the story because he wanted to go to the library and get the book so he could read the story again. I told him it was a mommy story and that they weren’t in libraries. Fast forward many years later, I am working in corporate America. I had worked my way up the ladder because, once again, my work ethic will out work anyone if I want it bad enough. I was not happy because I was not living my purpose. What was my purpose? I still am not completely sure, but I did know it had to do with writing and speaking, so I did it. My family encouraged me and would always ask when was I going to write my books. Finally, I quit that job and wrote my first children’s book. It took me a moment because of the research that went into it. The writing was hard for me at time. Thankfully I have an amazing husband who said, “You write and I will help you with the grammar.” He still does that to this day with every blog, every book I have written, and sometimes before I post a long post. (Thanks Babe you’re the best!)

I think about that young girl who people doubted, and at times doubted herself. I never get upset with those people. Honestly, I’m not sure we knew what dyslexia was until after I was out of school. I feel bad for all the kids that were just called “lazy” but we actually loved things like English, but the thought of having to read out loud would send us into a complete panic attack. Now that I am a 3-time Best Selling Author and I speak on stages in front of thousands of people, I am thankful that I get to share my journey with so many and give them hope that they can turn their struggles into strengths, and I hope you too can Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · music · Overcoming · Uncategorized

Holding My Keys

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Hello Sunshines! I remember in my 20’s into my early 30’s I would ache with depression and sadness. I went to the Dr. and was put on Zoloft. I couldn’t figure out why I was so sad all the time. Why the people around me weren’t making me happy. I would cry myself to sleep just wanting to find happiness in my life. I loved my kids but they didn’t make me happy. My husband at the time worked a lot and so I thought it was because he was always gone and we would fight when he was home, so I just knew that was causing my sadness. I ended up getting off medication due to having cancer. Now I felt like I was on my own, nothing to help numb the pain. Fast forward a few years and I went through my divorce. I was alone many nights. I literally had a panic attack in Target because I didn’t know how to be alone. One night something shifted, I took a bath with candles, listening to music, had a glass of wine, read a book instead of turning on the TV, these were things that brought me joy. I realized I had been living for others, my family, my church family, my friends that I stopped living for myself. When I finally took the keys back to my happiness and figured out who I was and things that brought me joy life got better. It took a moment but when I realized I am the one responsible for me and my happiness I never looked for it in others. I create my own happiness and I try daily even when life is busy to slow down long enough to do something that helps me find the good in my life and I hope you slow down long enough to Find The Good In Your Life and take back your keys.

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Hello Again

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Hello Sunshines, it’s been a moment. Let’s just say 2020 happened, twice. I’ll talk about that a little later, but right now, it’s good to be back. How are you? Like many people, I dealt with depression, weight gain, sickness, loss of family and friends, and just the lack of get up and go. I really do celebrate those who took the last 2 years to better themself, get in shape and show up for themselves. I found myself watching and getting inspiration by people on TikTok (not sure how to post, but trying to figure it out). Besides Youtube it’s my favorite thing to watch. (Don’t judge me, this is a judgement free zone). I have written so many blogs, but they all remained in draft because “I just didn’t feel it” once I was done writing. However, something happened that made me realize it was time to be me again and get out of that shell I was in.

My ex-husband died from Covid. That slapped me in my face and in my heart. One of the last conversations he and I had was about time and family. He hoped he had more of it and wished he hadn’t spent so many years being angry because he realized he was angry at people he and I no longer were. We had a family dinner a month before he got sick and talked a few times after that trying to catch up on lost time. We were making plans for when he was going to come out next and we were going to celebrate our granddaughters birthday. We talked about doing another family dinner and just surprising the kids that we were all there and showing them that we really did move past all the anger we had towards one another. When he got sick, I really thought he would be ok, we all did. Unfortunately, I guess it was his time. I grieved so hard, and still have bad moments where I wish he could see the kids being amazing adults and parents. I was asked by someone “why are you so effected by your ex-husbands death?” I realized they had no clue because they had never been married or had children. They didn’t realize just because things didn’t workout between you and that person doesn’t mean that you didn’t still care for them. He was the father of my children, and their pain is also my pain. Plus, I lost someone I had just became friends with after many years of hurt and anger. I know you are thinking, “Aren’t you married?” Yes I am. To the most amazing man who held me for days/months as I cried and mourned the loss of Rohn. Matt is sitting across from me as I write this and smiles every time I wipe a tear because he knows that my words will help someone else one day. If I have taken anything from Rohn’s passing, it really is to not wait to live. He said when he got out of the hospital he was going to spend more time in California with the family and take care of himself better. So to that…

I have a friend who made a life change, he lost over 100 pounds. He said something in one of his posts that has stuck with me, he said “Commit to yourself“. I realized I was showing up for others and making commitments to others once again, and I had gotten into the past habit of not showing up for myself. I know back in the “old days” women put themselves last and our husbands and children came first. Thank God we figured out that we can’t show up for them at 100% if we don’t show up for ourselves first. It’s so important to make time for us, to commit to yourself first. We all know we are stuck with ourselves forever, so we might as well be the best us we can be, mentally, physically, and emotionally. So, I did it, I committed to myself. I decided that I would show up daily as my best self. I will work out and eat better, I will continue to grow as a person and I will heal from the things that once broke me.

I do not believe in New Years resolutions, but I do believe in change. Anyone can change if they want to. We usually change when there is a life changing event that happens. This time for me it was Rohn’s passing. I do not want to wish I would have done anything. I want to say “remember that time I did____.” I have always been the one who sees the good in everything and everyone, and for a moment I forgot who I was. My motto has always been, “if it’s not positive, uplifting and encouraging, it doesn’t need to be said.” I still believe that for myself. Any how, as I said, I’m back, and I hope you will enjoy reading my blogs, that I WILL post, because they are good enough (self talk is important). I hope you commit to yourself and Find The Good In Your Life, even in those dark moments, even if it takes a little time.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Overcoming · Uncategorized

Are You Happy?

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Good Morning Sunshines, it’s been a while . I have so much to catch you up on, but that won’t be today. Can you believe it’s 2020? I seriously had an OMG 😱 moment a few months ago when I realized that it was 2020 and how long ago 2000 was and what was I doing when we all thought the world would stop spinning that night. Any who, that’s not why I decided to blog today. I wanted to talk about happiness.

Are you happy? I am. But what is happiness? What makes you happy? This last 5 months I did a training with some people, and for everyone else there was a 4 week open invitation for everyone to watch on Find The Good In Your Life (Facebook and Insta). One of the things we focused on was Finding The Good In Your Life and finding happiness in all situations. Here are the top 5 questions my clients and people in general ask me about happiness. “Why is it so hard to be happy?” “What does happiness look like?” “Is joy and happiness the same thing?” “Is happiness different for everyone?” “Why are some people just always happy?”

Well, I’m happy to answer those for you ….

“Why is it so hard to be happy?” Most of the time it’s hard to be happy because we find ourselves either thinking about the past, wishing things could have been different or worrying about the the future. I have found when I live in the now I can find things to be thankful for, and when you are being thankful it’s hard to focus on the negative. (You will hear/read me saying this a lot.)

“What does happiness look like?” I truly believe it’s different for every person. Happiness does not mean all rainbows, unicorns and sunshine for everyone. For many people, happiness can just look and feel like contentment. What do I mean by contentment? It does not mean that you are not striving for more but that you are happy (content) at that moment.

“Is joy and happiness the same thing?” No. Joy is a peace that you have when you are good with you. Being able to accept yourself for who you are and where you are. It doesn’t mean you aren’t still trying to become a better version of you, it just means you have peace with where you are right now. Happiness is usually based on the situation, memory, “feeling” you have.

“Is happiness different for everyone?” Happiness is different for everyone based on life experience, and science also says some are born with more of the gene that causes happiness. Don’t use that as an excuse to why you’re not happy. They have found that even those who have less of this gene can still change their DNA in a way that they cannot tell you are lacking, but you must work on it. I do understand that there are people who have medical conditions that can cause depression that may need medication, but even those people can find happiness with work, maybe therapy or someone who has been studying happiness and the brain for years. (That’s why I am here. I have been doing this for years.)

“Why are some people just always happy?” Are you ready for the hard truth…? They choose to be. Yup, it all comes down to a choice . It doesn’t mean you won’t have bad days or things won’t go wrong, but when you decide you want to be happy and that you actually want to find joy and peace, you will work toward it like you never have before. You will learn what things bring you happiness. What you won’t settle for anymore. Maybe it means removing negative people and situations out of your life.

How are you feeling right now after reading that? I hope you feel hopeful. I want you to be happy, but more than anything I want you to have joy and to be able to Find The Good In Your Life in every situation. I’m here if you want/need to talk.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Healthy Eating · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

80 Days To Slay

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“Nothing stops the man who desires to achieve. Every obstacle is simply a course to develop his achievement muscle. It’s a strengthening of his powers of accomplishment.” ~ Thomas Carlyle

Hello Sunshines! Long time no talk. There is only 80 more days till January 1, 2020. How are you going to end 2019? Not just 2019 but the end to this decade. I didn’t give it a lot of thought going from 1999 to 2000 or from 2010 to 2011. I take that back going from 1999 to 2000 everyone was worried about how computers would handle everything at midnight and would the world come to an end. I laugh at these things now, but back then, it was serious. We didn’t go out to celebrate, we stayed with family, you know “just in case”. Everything seems so different in my life from 2000 to now. When someone says 10 years ago, I still think the 90’s, 20 years ago I think the 80’s, boy am I off. So what has changed?

My Life almost feels like a blur for the past 40 plus years. No, I never did drugs. Why does it all seem to be coming into focus now? Is it because I can see my goals more clearly now than ever before? I almost feel like everything before now was just a “wish” with very little action. Then one day I woke up and realized how to actually put action behind those wishes and make them a reality. Tomorrow will be one year that I released my first book, and went #1. I have written 3 books (chapter books for elementary kids) this year and I’m now working on a novel to come out May of 2020. I’ve traveled, done some public speaking (not as much as I’d like to do) for Find The Good In Your Life, and have become healthier than I was before (not where I want to be).

But really, what changed? Why are those “wishes” becoming a reality? I seriously took action. I know what I want, and how I want it. I/We have 80 days left till 2020 and I am going to finish strong. I have some goals to still reach this year and I will accomplish them. One thing I have seriously wrestled with this year is discipline. The next 80 days will be me being disciplined with the things I need to do, to move forward. I said 2019 was all about “Expecting” 2020 will be the year of “Receiving” but I set my self and my family up to succeed by laying down a foundation to make those “wishes” a reality. It’s not too late. Right now, you can stop “wishing” and start doing. I want you to ask your self a serious question, “Am I only wishing things will get better or am I doing something to make it better?” Whatever, “IT” is, you can change it. Your health, your marriage, relationships, self discipline, work, whatever it is, let’s work together to Find The Good In Your Life. 

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming

I Said F*@# It! But Like, The Real Word.

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Hello Sunshines! “Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out?” – Ian Wallace

 

Have you ever felt like you had to hide who you are? I have, and because of it I dimmed my own light. I swore years ago I would not allow others to make me feel less than, but somewhere along the way I did. I felt like I had to dim my light as to not take away from some others or to upset others. When you walk into a new space and there is already a “flow” going, you try to slip into others’ flow so you don’t disrupt things. I’m a bit of a “boulder,” not a pebble, but because I didn’t want to change things I shrank myself. Do you know how much you take away from a boulder when you become a pebble? Too much! As a matter of fact, you may not even recognize yourself anymore by doing so. Another thing I did by shrinking myself was not share my joy because I was worried about hurting others’ feelings. Let me explain them both.

Let me start with what I mean by hiding my joy. I have told you I was married before. Well, we still have mutual “friends,” and any time I said or did anything it would get back to my ex. This became hard on me, so I almost felt like I had to live my life in secret. I also never wanted to cause my ex any more stress or (not sure of the best word here) anything bad, but it seemed that the memories of me hurt him so I dimmed my light/happiness and things I wanted to share because of it. Why? Because I don’t like hurting people (a.k.a people pleaser). I did this with friends who had bad marriages. I wouldn’t talk about how awesome and amazing my marriage is because I didn’t want to make them feel bad. But inside all I wanted to do was share with everyone that I had an amazing life, great husband, amazing kids, and I am happy. But people would make comments like “no one is really that happy, that’s just your instagram life, why do you always brag?” Seriously, I am that happy. We are that much in love. And my kids really are that awesome and they are our best friends now and I’m proud of that…ok I digress….

So, becoming a pebble when you are a boulder. I am thankful I have been able to work in Corporate America. I was also one of the only women sitting at a table full of men. When it came to the pissing contest, I had to “sit down” (pun intended). It did not matter that I came in with more experience than most people at the table or room, it was going to be their way because “this is the way it has always been done.” When sharing new ideas of how to change things or make them more efficient you are told you are confrontational because you give push back. My favorite is “you are so passionate, but can you bring it down some.” And even better, being told you are “too corporate” in every day life when you try to bring order. So I gave up, shrank myself, sit in quietness because I get tired of trying until I no longer have any passion because I have become a grain of sand or my light is about to go out. So what do you do….What did I do?

I said F*@# it! No seriously I did. I think I said the real word as a matter of fact. I let the things I was once passionate about go because I wasn’t able to be me. I have always known you can be a leader without having the title of a leader. You can influence people more by just being you. I tried so hard to fit in because I didn’t see other people like me, until I did. I asked them, “How do you not dull your shine?” They let me know it’s because they get around others who are like-minded. They don’t always have the same vision, but they cheer them on none the less. YES! “Where do I get some of these people?” I thought. They let me know they would show themselves. Boy did they! There were people I thought for sure would be in my corner rooting me on but they were like ghost. I have barely heard “boo” from them and I see them weekly. Then there were people I hadn’t talked to in years who were cheering for me harder than my own family. Seriously, my heart couldn’t handle the love. Slowly, I started to see the old me again. I had to let go of some past hurts and disappointments before I fully saw who I am and what I should be doing. (Yes, I’m about to plug my stuff right here with no apologies). I finished that book, and book two is almost done. I decided it was time that I didn’t hide the fact that I have been so blessed and started a Vlog with my husband. We are far from perfect but we have a pretty incredible marriage and how we got here I feel like a lot of people could learn from it. Also, I’m happy. Why should I hide that? I’m sorry (not sorry) that my happiness makes you uncomfortable. I don’t feel I should have to apologize for it. I know what you are thinking, “This has been you dulled?” YES! And if you have dulled your light, I’m here to help you like I was helped. I found it (again) and it’s time you also Find The Good In Your Life! Shine on!

family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

Red Sparkly Shoes

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IMG_3375-1Good Morning Sunshines! “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” Mark Twain

I have these beautiful butterfly plates that I love to use but my husband only wants me to use on “special occasions.” This is where we differ. When my daughter was little she had these red sparkly shoes that she loved to wear. She had family members that when she went with them would ask that I not allow her to wear those shoes because they did not match what she was wearing. Trust me, this was hard for me because I was a parent that always had to make sure my kids were clean, clothes ironed, and hair done before they left the house. My kids had to be the “put together” kids. However, when it came to these red shoes I always made an exception. These shoes brought her so much joy. I would ask her, “Why do you ‘need’ to wear those shoes, when you have so many other shoes?” Her answer was always the same, “They are special shoes, they make me feel so pretty.” How was I going to argue with that. Explaining to a three year old that you are pretty no matter what you wear just wasn’t cutting it. (A little side note, my nickname for my daughter is also Pretty… she is My Pretty.)

I had an Aunt Marie. One summer I was sent to go stay there after my Uncle Al had passed away. I always thought she was odd with the way she did certain things, until I got older. Aunt Marie had this beautiful china we would eat on, and we used linen napkins. She had her friends come over to play cards and they were always dressed up. We would go to the store dressed in a nice dress. I remember sitting in the living room reading a book and hearing her friends talk about how nice it was to get dressed up when they would come over because it wasn’t something people did anymore. I asked my Aunt why she enjoyed getting dressed up. She said every day was special and she didn’t want to wait for a special occasion to get dressed up or to eat on her china when she could do it every day. I asked her then how will you know when it’s a really special occasion. She just smiled and said, “Don’t worry about that, people will tell you.” I never really understood that until lately.

We all have those friends that do something and we’ll say, “They are so extra.” I am sure people say that about me often, but that is ok. See, I want to be the person who uses her china (if I had any) for every day plates, or wear my sparkly shoes because they make me feel pretty. (I do have some but mine are pink) I want to be the person who makes you stop and think, like my Aunt Marie did for me. I have said this a 100 times and so has so many other people in your lives, “Tomorrow is not promised.” I do not live my life in a fear of “what if I die tomorrow,” but in the place of “I did everything I could today.” I enjoyed today. Today I lived my best life. I may have to work, maybe even at a job I don’t really like, but before work, after work, on my lunch break, I did something that bettered my today. I am pursuing the life I want. So, I will eat toast off of my butterfly plates. I will take a bath almost every night and use my Lush bath bombs, and if I have a not so good day, I may even use a whole bath bomb and bubbles and dip down to my nose as the bubbles consume me like I would when I was a kid. I want to be “extra.” I want to live my extra best life every day. I also want you to live your extra best life. Today is the day you Find The Good In Your Life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming

This Is Not A Dress Rehearsal

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Good Morning Sunshines! “Know the true value of time; snatch, seize, and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination: never put off till tomorrow what you can do today. ” – Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

We have all said it, “I’ll do it tomorrow.” Somehow tomorrow never comes. I’ve told you about my best friends growing up. There were 5 of us, until there wasn’t. Mel was coming home from a Halloween party when a drunk driver hit her and took her life away too early… she was only 18. She had her whole life ahead of her and it was taken. She didn’t get the chance to do the things we all get to do and take for granted, including me. I don’t tell you that to be a downer, I tell you that because I want you to realize we are not promised tomorrow. There are no do-overs. There are things we can’t get back. We can’t get back time or words. Be careful with them both.

I have told y’all before I listen to a lot of podcasts and try to read a lot, so there are two things that Steve Jobs has said that rings over and over in my head. The first, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” And the second, “Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.”

I am not telling you to go to work next week and put in your notice. However, I will tell you to figure out what that passion is and start doing it. It may be part time for now until you can make it your full time thing. It may never become a full time, pay the bills thing you get to do, but how much happier are you that you get to do something that brings you joy. Most people will come home, eat, and then sit in front of the tv. That is probably not bringing you the joy you are looking for. If you are one of the few who actually get paid to do what you love, congratulations, that’s awesome. But if you aren’t, then I want you to be honest with yourself. What are you waiting for? Buy the camera and take the pictures. Take the art classes. Try out for the play. Sing in your church choir. Write the book. Bake the cookies/cupcakes. Take a dance class. Start the business. We don’t get a do-over. This life is not a dress rehearsal. We get one chance to do it right. I know I felt like I had to put my dreams on hold while my kids were growing up. I wish someone had told me it’s ok to not put your dreams on hold. I think my kids would have had a better childhood if they had a parent who was living her best life. They would have seen a joy in me because I had an outlet instead of a parent who was stressed because I felt the need to live up to other peoples’ standards. I am thankful that I stopped waiting. Now it’s your turn. Go for it! You can do anything you want! Live your best life and Find The Good In Your Life.

 

family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · over coming · Uncategorized

I Did Something Scary

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IMG_2835Good Morning Sunshines! “When is the last time you did something that scared you, but in a good way. Scared you like butterflies in your stomach, kind of want to throw up a little bit, I will stretch myself and rise to the occasion, kind of scary?!” ~Janelle Espling

I’ve just done something that scares me. Scares me in a good way, but it still scares me. Let me tell you why. When I was 12 years old I had a best friend who I would pass notes back and forth with in the halls at school. Sometimes she would return my notes to me with red ink on them to correct my spelling. She did this thinking it was being helpful and I shrugged it off. I had no idea how much this affected me until years later.

I have always wanted to write. I love to write, share stories, help others grow, improve their lives, and make people happy. However, because of what happened when I was 12, it kept stopping me. I would write and put things away. I would get excited but never wanted to share. Every time I failed to hit my goal of doing something it didn’t surprise me. I would get knocked down and wonder how I got back up. Well this last time when I fell, I landed on my back and when I did, I saw the way up, and there was a hand reaching down to pull me up.

There is a saying, “A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you forget the words.” When I married my hubby, he was my best friend first. He knew my dreams and he would remind me all the time. Finally, as I laid on my back looking up, feeling defeated, my Hubby reached his hand down and lifted me up. He told me to write and he would read it all and check my spelling, grammar, punctuations, etc. So, I did it. It took me several months (ok, maybe a year or so) but I finally wrote my first of many children’s books. So, if you’re feeling like you got knocked down, I am reaching down to you and ready to help pull you up and help you. What is it you have been wanting to do but put away? Let’s talk about it. I want to help you Find The Good In Your Life.

 

 

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Healthy Eating · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

September Is The New January

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NPP Delta II LaunchHello Sunshines! “Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.” Meister Eckhart

Happy New Year!!! I know you’re thinking I’ve lost my mind. It’s been 9 months since you made your 2018 New Years resolution….How’s it going? I know I fell off track some. I said I would write daily and post weekly. Well, y’all know that didn’t happen. I was going to start Vlogging… ummm, I’m scared of the camera. I wanted to work out at least 5 times a week and lose 20 pounds. LOL, now I only need to lose 25 pounds. I wanted to finish my book by May… well, I didn’t finish it till July.

What were your goals in January? How did you get off track? Was it the holidays, spring break, summer, vacations, the kids? This is why I said September is the new January. The kids are all back in school tomorrow. The next big holiday is 2 1/2 months away. Think of all the things you can do if you truly focus for the next 2 months. You’ll also be ahead of all those people who don’t start till January. Why do we wait to start? I know so many people feel like Monday is the best time to start because it’s the start to a new week. However, I’m going to challenge you to just start or pick back up where you left off. Don’t wait till next Monday, start tomorrow. Heck, start today! Whatever the goal is that you had in mind for this year it can still be accomplished, this year.

Tonight I want you to write down your to do list for tomorrow. Make sure to include those things you wanted for yourself. You may have to get up earlier. I promise you if you get up before everyone else to do what you want to do, it will set the mood in a positive way for you. Tomorrow morning when your alarm goes off, do not hit the snooze. I want you to count backwards… 5,4,3,2,1 and then get up like a rocket ship (listen to Mel Robbins- Outsmart Your Brain to fully understand why this works) You have a 5 second window to make decisions to change your life. Tomorrow morning will you decide today is the day or will you continue to let your dreams not come to life in 2018?

September is my January! I am writing again. My first children’s book is done. The second will be complete by the end of the year and I have other things in the works too. What is it that you said you were going to do but got sidetracked? Really, I want to know! That business you wanted to start, DO IT! I’m waiting to hear how you decided that this 4th quarter was going to be the best part of your year. I believe in you and I believe that this September you will Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

Adjusting To The Dark

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Good Morning Sunshines! “Just like our eyes, our hearts have a way of adjusting to the dark.” – Adam Stanley

It’s been a few weeks since I last wrote but I have been thinking about this for a while. I was telling my hubby one night as I was walking upstairs in the dark that I realized I closed my eyes until I got to the light switch in our room. I asked him if he did the same. He said no, that he can see in the dark. You can see in the dark? Then I started leaving my eyes open in the dark and my eyes would adjust after a few minutes. I knew this was a thing, but all of a sudden I had a revelation to other things in life.

Being in the dark and letting our eyes adjust is a metaphor for so many things. I was having coffee one morning with a young lady who said, “When you’ve been in the dark for so long, your eyes start to adjust.” I almost fell out of my seat. She had no idea I had been thinking about this blog, not even sure she reads my blogs. But here it was again, our eyes adjusting to the dark. I realized it was “US” lying to ourselves. It could be the smallest thing but we soon adjust. My morning routine got thrown out the window the last few weeks while I planned an event. I would still read my bible and pray but it was kind of rushed. I even missed a few days. I didn’t work out, I didn’t write, and it was becoming ok because I was doing “something important.” The truth is, I was adjusting. I had lied to myself saying I will get back my “normal” when the crazy is over, where in reality I should have kept my “normal” and adjusted everything else to go with my lifestyle. However, my eyes were adjusting to the dark, my new “normal,” and I didn’t even notice til now. How did I notice I was living in the dark and had just adjusted my eyes?

On the morning of the event I knew it was going to be a crazy day so I grabbed my journal, and as I read my Bible that morning I went to write down what I was reading and feeling and saw it had been 3 weeks that I hadn’t journaled. WHAT!?!? How did that happen? I knew right then I needed to throw on the light switch and get back to what I knew to be true and what my “normal” was. I still had crazy going on for a few more days and because I had let myself adjust to the dark, it was taking me a minute to adjust to the light. Think about it; when you have been in a movie and walk outside, your eyes had gotten so used to the dark, you throw your hand up to protect your eyes, you squint, you have to get used to what was your norm all over again. So this week, little by little, I have been readjusting to the light and getting back to my norm.

Have you started to accept things in your life as “normal” because you let your eyes adjust to the dark? It could be as simple as mine, or it could be like my past of an abusive marriage where I thought “normal” was the words that were spoken to me, or the addiction of my mother. Those things were my “normal” until someone showed me that I had been living in the dark and had adjusted my eyes to see what I wanted in the dark. I hope today you can readjust your eyes and start seeing in the light again and Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

It’s Not Too Late

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Good Morning Sunshines! “It’s never too late to be what you might have been.” George Elliot

Imagine you are 100 years old and you are laying in bed taking your last breaths and standing around your bed was not your family and friends but instead, it was all of your hopes, dreams, visions and talents you were given but never used. The books you never wrote because you were too worried about what others would think. The business you didn’t start because no one else could understand your vision, so they talked you out of your dream. The trip you never took because it was “never the right time.” The family you never had because you needed everything to be “just right” before you could do that. How would you feel knowing these things were going to die with you? I know this might sound a bit morbid, but the truth is that no one can do what you can do.

I lived in limbo for years of the things I wanted to do for myself. I would use my kids as an excuse. I would tell myself, “When they are grown up I will do the things I want to do.” Well they grew up, got married, and I still waited. What was I was waiting for? A few years ago when I had my strokes and was working way too much I knew, this is not the life I want to be living. What was going to change and how was I going to do it? I quit my job and started writing my first of many children’s books, but just couldn’t finish them. I have been doing other things too. Started a new company with my hubby, but he does most of the work for that. I help when I can. Very active at church. I spend most of my time there. However, knowing what my “calling” is and not fulfilling it was really getting to me.

So, what was I going to do? I had to think what made me come alive? What did I want to be when I grew up? I know this might sound funny to some, but I loved the show Sex and the City. To me it was a great show about friendships, and anyone who knows me knows I love, love and friendship. I’ll watch anything about friendships (including cartoons). So, while watching this show I would love watching Sarah Jessica Parker’s character Carrie Bradshaw. She would write an article for a newspaper and every time she did it made something in me stir. I knew I wanted/needed to write. Yes, every time I write my blog I think of Carrie Bradshaw. My articles will probably never be like hers, but I love the writing. I also knew I needed to write the children’s books because my kids would tell me when they were little they couldn’t find my stories in the library and they needed to know what happened next. So, I did it. I started writing my blog, channeling my inner Carrie Bradshaw. But, the most exciting thing, I finished my first book. Doing some rewrites right now, but it’s done. The moral to this story, it’s never too late, unless you are laying on your death-bed, to follow your dreams and live out the life you always believed you should have. What makes you come alive? What do you want to be when you grow up? Now it’s your turn to start living for you and Find The Good In Your Life.

Entrepreneur · family · fear · gratitude · Inspirational · mind set · over coming · Uncategorized

Petrified In Fear

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hands-in-chainsGood Morning Sunshines! “Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real.” ~ Unknown

Have you ever been petrified in fear? Have you ever felt like it didn’t matter what you did it was going to be wrong, so you decided doing nothing would be better? Have you ever woken up and known that you were failing everyone around you by not doing what you were called to do, but it was easier to do the safe thing, because failing again was something you didn’t want to risk? Have you ever thought, “No one will notice if I give up?” Have you ever thought, “It’s just not worth it?” I have! It was literally so bad I did nothing. When I say I did nothing, I mean I did nothing. I laid in bed all day being the most unproductive self I could be. It got to the point that I couldn’t even look myself in the mirror and ask, “What are you doing?” because I didn’t want to face the truth. I wanted to give up because I was scared.

The second day of “feeling” this way I knew I had to do something because this was not me. I got up and showed up, but didn’t post. I knew I had to go through the motions even if I didn’t “feel” like it. I did this for 8 days. “What the heck Maria!?!? Seriously, this is your soap box. You are everyone’s cheerleader for their dreams, you speak life into them when they have doubt and fear, do it for yourself.”  I had always told people to be careful of your “feelings” because some days you will “feel” love and another dislike, just remember why you started. Have you ever found it easier to root for someone else than yourself? Ya, me too. I knew this is not where I wanted to stay. I had to find my way out of this “feeling”.  But how?

I had to remind myself of my why. I went back and reread my personal journals of why I must not quit. I listened to more podcasts than ever before. I read more than I ever have before. I talked to a friend I trusted who I knew would understand but push me forward. I started speaking life back into myself and writing my goals back down. Going through the process I knew worked for me and had gotten me to where I was. I became thankful for where I was, but knew that is not where I wanted to stay. It’s ok if you fail. It means you’re doing something. I have to remind myself its a stepping stone to where I am going. So once again, I got up, showed up, and reminded myself to go Find The Good In My Life.