Detours and Delays

Good Morning Beautiful People. “We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.” — Maya Angelou

Redirect… U-Turn ahead… Take next exit… Finding new route… That’s what 54 felt like to me. Every time I thought I had a plan, something would happen and change it. I would set goal after goal, and nothing seemed to work out the way it should. At first, this was very frustrating because there had not been a goal that I had ever set that I hadn’t reached.

I turned 55 on March 18th! I have been waiting for this year for so long. I am finally a senior. I had thought I wanted a party, but then decided that sounded like a horrible idea. Then a trip, but that got overshadowed by other plans. Instead, what I got for my birthday was a husband who had the flu and decided that one of his many gifts to me, he would be sharing it. So I went into 55 with chills and body explosions from both ends. I decided, with all the time I had on my hands, to take another look at 54 and what I actually learned from last year.

I learned that I did not fail, and if others saw it that way, it was okay. One challenge I needed to overcome was caring what others thought of me. Being a lifetime people pleaser and setting goals that others could see meant I pushed myself sometimes harder than I should, to the point that I thought if I failed, people would judge me or be mad at me for not completing the task.

Instead, I was met with grace.

Those who waited patiently for a new book to be released. Those who questioned where my weekly blogs were seemed to understand when I told them that I had writer’s block so bad that writing, even nonfiction, felt like hitting a wall. The words were literally silenced in my head. When I am able to write, like right now, the words just flow. I wake up and my brain is overflowing with thoughts and ideas, and they need to get out.

Writer’s block for me felt like being inside your house after everyone leaves the party and there is complete silence. For a moment, you sit and are thankful for the silence, but after a few days, you wish for another person to talk to. But for almost a year, I sat in that silence. Every now and again, I would get a moment of “visitation,” if you will, from my book friends, and I would write it down just as fast as I could, but then they were gone again. I have sat with three unwritten books for the past year because the writer’s block was, unfortunately, stronger than me.

Thankfully, as I write this, I can also hear the voices of my book friends waiting for me. I’m excited to visit with them and see what they are waiting to reveal to me.

As for setting a new goal for 55, honestly, this year is all about enjoying the moment. I have set some new goals, and they are some pretty big ones, and I’ll share those when the time is right. But for now, I will be thankful for the year that taught me it’s okay to “fail” because I learned so much about myself and others.

I will be present with my friends and family and enjoy each moment I am given with them. I will embrace each day and once again look to always Find The Good In My Life.